A/N: Here's your newest chapter of Undeniable! Hope you enjoy reading Jake's inner turmoil as much as I enjoyed writing it. And don't forget to vote for it and Hands on Me!

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Disclaimer: Don't own it. Surprising, right?

Dirty California Pavement

love, this is getting the best of me
and truth be told, you were the start of it all

- +44, 155

-

"J-Jacob?" Nessie asked me, her voice quiet and scared as I swung out onto the highway. "What's going on?"

Nessie, goddamn it, I love you so, so much but I can't talk to you right now. I can't do anything but get you out. Please just let me do this.

"Jacob!" She said a second later, louder and even more scared than before. "What are we doing?"

I forced the fear and bile and anger and hate and love and all the shit that was stuck in my throat down so I could tell her, "We're running."

I cut in front of an 18-wheeler and kept pushing the engine, but it wouldn't go any faster.

"Well . . . when are we coming back?"

What did she think this was, vacation?

"Fuck." It started to rain as we zoomed out of Forks and I switched off the lights. This highway was a cop trap and I couldn't be dealing with any of that now. Then I remembered Nessie. "We're not."

Please don't make me talk anymore.

"We're – we're not?"

Shit. I couldn't stand to hear her so scared, even when she had reason to be. I tried to make my voice softer, but it was hard.

"I don't think so, Ness."

"Why, though?" She asked, and something in me snapped. "Why are we running?"

Couldn't she just let me do this? Couldn't she just trust me? I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that it was completely reasonable for her to be scared and confused and asking questions but I didn't care. All I could think about was that she wouldn't just shut up and trust me on this when I needed to get her out.

"Because of those goddamn-king-fucking-bloodsuckers, Nessie!"

Nessie curled back away from me in her seat, shocked. I had never screamed at her before. She was . . . scared. My stomach ripped out again.

"I'm sorry, Ness," I said automatically, reaching out for her hand. She let me take it, but didn't wrap her fingers around mine, didn't hold mine back, just let me. I looked at her for the first time since we got in the car and she looked so scared. I felt like shit. "It's not your fault, honey, and I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. Everything's going to be all right, I promise. I'll never let anything happen to you – I've just got to get you out of here as fast as I can."

She didn't say anything back, just kind of stared off like she was thinking real hard. But there was something else we needed to get clear.

"Nessie, everything is going to be okay, all right? I promise you." I changed my tone then, made it more authoritative. She had to understand that this was serious. "But Ness, this is important: for the next while, you're going to have to obey me. Whatever I tell you to do, you have to do it, quickly, no questions asked."

Nessie shivered a little but she nodded obediently, her eyes wide. I loved her so much.

"Okay?" I tried to make my voice soft again. I still felt so bad for scaring her.

"Okay."

I didn't want to let her go, but I needed to be driving my best so I squeezed her hand once and then let her go. Nessie jumped nearly a foot in the air when the phone that I knew was inside the bag started to ring.

Alice. Finally.

"Answer the phone and put it to my ear," I commanded her and she scrambled to obey me. She had the cell phone out a second later and crawled up in the seat to put it to my ear. "Yeah?"

Nessie leaned in closer, to hear I guess, and her scent overwhelmed me for a second. I shook it off quick though.

"Decide to leave the country."

I did. "Okay."

"No, no. Decided to go to Alaska."

Okay. "All right."

"No, that's no good." My stomach started eating itself. "Colorado."

Yeah. "Okay."

"No – Las Vegas."

"Okay."

"No . . ." Please. Please. Please. "California. Decide to go to California."

Done.

"All right, all right, I can see him," Alice said and I immediately felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. "I can see him for about a week."

A week.

I let myself have a second to just take in the wonderfulness of that, a week of Nessie's assured safety, before I brought myself back into the present.

"Can you see where he is?"

"No, but I just know that I see him, so he's not where you are. Just keep doing whatever you've decided and I'll call if anything changes."

You better. "Thanks."

Nessie cut off the phone then and pulled away from me. She leaned down and put the phone back in the bag, and then looked up at me.

"So we're going to California?" She sounded less scared than before.

I gave myself another look at her before I had to put my eyes back on the road. I turned into an exit and started heading south.

"Looks like it."

"Can . . . can you explain everything to me now?" Nessie asked, hesitant. She was afraid I would shout at her again. My heart ached. "Or do you want to wait? Or can you tell me at all?"

Yeah, she was scared.

"Just – just let me concentrate on getting us into California, Ness, okay?" I felt better, but not completely. I'd be able to relax more when I knew we were where Alice saw he wouldn't get to us. "I'll be able to relax a little then, and I'll explain everything."

As much as I can.

She didn't answer me, but she didn't argue either. We drove in pretty much silence for a long time. Nessie started slumping lower in her seat until, a few hours later, she was laying on her forearms on the armrest with her legs stretched weirdly in front of her.

"That can't be comfortable." I didn't want her to be uncomfortable, even when we were running from psycho leeches.

"It's not," she mumbled back.

"Crawl in the back," I told her, even though I didn't want her to. I didn't want her anywhere but right next to me. "You're short enough that you'll be able to stretch out."

"Does that count as a command?" She asked, and I couldn't tell if she was serious or not.

"No. Just a suggestion." That wasn't what I had meant. "I don't want you to get a crick."

"I don't get cricks."

"Have you ever slept curled up in the passenger's seat of a Porsche?"

"No." She lifted her beautiful face to look at me. "But I really don't want to be back there by myself."

I kinda started to scoff, but then didn't. I didn't want to hurt Nessie's feelings. Again.

"You're not by yourself, Ness." As long as I've got you, you'll never be by yourself again. Don't worry. "It's the back seat of the car, for Christ's sake."

Her eyes fluttered up sleepily to meet mine and I almost crashed the car when she said, "I don't want to be any farther away from you."

I actually groaned. I hope it passed off as me being annoyed, even though I didn't want her to think that, but I sure as hell didn't want her to know what it really was.

If Nessie didn't want to be any farther away from me, no further away would she get. I started shifted in my seat and Nessie flew back in hers and my stomach hurt as I realized she was still a little scared of me. I would have to fix that.

I moved as far as I could into the right side of my seat, propping my left leg up a little so my weight shifted too. I caught the steering wheel with my left hand and beckoned Nessie forward with my right.

"What?"

"Come here," I told her. And since I couldn't say what I wanted to, I settled for, "If you're that sleepy, and you're too scared to sit in the back seat by yourself, come here."

Nessie's eyes lit up with recognition and she crawled up in her seat, leaning over the other half of the armrest and settling herself into my side. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer. Damn, this felt good.

Nessie pressed her face into my shirt and breathed in deep like I did with her when she wasn't looking. Her reasons were probably a lot more innocent than mine, though.

"Thank you," she whispered, rubbing her face against me in a way I could feel through both my shirts. Then, "Love you, Jacob."

Oh, wow. That felt good. I hadn't heard that in awhile, a month at least. She used to tell me all the time, but then she just up and quit.

I couldn't help but lean down and kiss her hair again. I whispered back "Love you too, Nessie" but she was already asleep.

Nessie slept real peacefully for someone who had just been yanked from her grandfather's wedding and thrown into a Porsche with a werewolf and told she was going on the run, but I wasn't about to complain. She was probably just dead tired. She wrapped a tiny arm around my stomach and some point, holding me against her and even though I knew I probably should have moved it I couldn't bring myself to.

When the roads were mostly empty and sometimes when they weren't, I watched Ness sleep. Just straight up watched her. She was mostly still but sometimes she'd shift a little, pull herself closer and make these contented little sounds that were really nice. Maybe this running together thing wouldn't be so bad.

I had never seen Nessie with makeup before and while I think I liked her without it better, I couldn't say it wasn't nice. Her full lips were bright red, and there was something shining on her eyelids. Her eyelashes were so long, but they always were, sweeping down over her cheekbones.

Another weight lifted off my shoulders as we flew over the California border. We were good, we were safe. Ness was safe. I realize I was tired as hell and started looking for the first hotel I could find. I spotted an exit that advertised as having a hotel so I figured it would have to do. Nessie needed to get to a bed anyway.

The phone rang and Nessie immediately mumbled, "I got it, I got it" and shrugged out from under my arm. She fumbled a little with the bag, trying to get the phone out and I actually laughed a little at how cute she was. I was feeling much safer in California.

Nessie put the phone to my ear and collapsed against my side.

"Are you there?" Alice's voice asked as soon it was to my ear. "What did you decide to do, stop and get a hotel?"

For someone who couldn't see us, Alice was pretty damn good.

"Yeah – is that one okay?"

"You know I can't see." Could've fooled me. "But everything still looks fine."

"D'you think we'd be good for two nights or just one?"

"Right now two looks fine. I've got to go – we shouldn't stay on the phone long."

"Okay, okay. Thanks."

I guess Nessie figured the conversation was over because she let the arm that was holding the phone slide down into my lap. I fought my body's reaction – I was sick, and this was not the time for this. I pulled into the gross looking hotel parking lot and stopped right in front of the building where everything was bright.

"Are we here?"

"If by here you mean a crummy hotel just of the California border, then yes, we are here."

I expected Nessie to sit up then, but she didn't. I nudged her lightly until she did, squinting her eyes against the light from the lobby.

"Come on, Ness, let's get a room and then you can go back to sleep," I told her, but she didn't act like she heard me. I nudged her again. "Come on, Nessie, I can't leave you in the car. Let's go."

She was still kind of just sitting there half-asleep so I got out of the car and walked over to her side. I opened her door, making sure she didn't fall over out of the car. I leaned down to grab the purse Bella had given her and handed in to her and then pulled her gently out of the car.

She leaned into my side and mumbled, "I don't even have any shoes."

"Are you serious?" I looked down to check her feet, and she was. Barefoot on the dirty California pavement. "Well, we'll get you some tomorrow. You're good for now – it's California, nobody wears shoes."

I wrapped an arm securely around her and kicked the door shut. I clicked the lock and led her carefully into the hotel, hyper-aware of our surroundings.

There was a gross looking guy eating cheese puffs behind the counter.

"Yeah, can I get a room for two please?"

"Two singles or a double?"

"Two singles," I told him, obviously, and reached back for my wallet.

Nessie surprised the hell out of me by whispering, "No, Jake" and pulling me a little closer, looking up at me sleepily with her wide brown eyes. "I don't want to sleep alone."

Oh, shit.

"That your girlfriend, man?"

Yeah, that was exactly the reaction I was afraid we were going to get, getting hotel rooms together all the time. Not that it bothered me a bit – but what in the hell was Creepy Hotel Dude doing asking me about my business?

"Does it matter?" I shifted my weight until I was more in front of Nessie than before. I didn't want him looking at her.

"Nah, she just looks young is all. How old are you?"

Oh fuck no he did not just try and talk to Nessie.

"She's eighteen." The only reason I said anything at all was because I didn't want him getting up on his high-horse and calling the fucking police on our first night.

"Sure she is," he said, and I think I was about to punch him in his throat. Especially when I felt Nessie move back behind me uneasily. "That's what they all say – but it don't matter none to me, man. That's your business. Ain't illegal unless you get caught, right?"

Oh no he did not just fucking say that to me. Oh no he did not just insinuate that I was – what did he think Nessie was? The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

"If you give me a room key right now, I'm going to pretend I don't know what you're talking about."

I was proud of myself. No throat-punching, no head ripping. The guy didn't look anywhere near scared as he should be, though.

"We only have doubles."

Sure you do. But seriously, I'm tired and so is my girl and I don't have the time to stand here and argue with you or tear your kneecaps off or any of the other things I want to do, so I'm giving you a pass.

"Yeah," I said instead, snatching the key from him and throwing some money on the counter. This place was so shitty, it should be more than enough. "I'm sure that's why you asked which we wanted when we came in."

I pulled Nessie back into my side and felt a little better. I always did when she was close. I needed to get her to a bed, although the way things were looking, it wasn't about to be the Ritz.

"Doesn't sound like you're complaining," the little fucker actually had the nerve to mutter when we were on our way out the door.

I was seriously about to go back but Nessie's little arms tightened around my waist.

"Come on, Jake," she urged me quietly, trying to tug me back in the direction of the car. "I'm sleepy. Let's go."

We got into our room without too much trouble and Nessie immediately collapsed on the only bed in the room. I tried not to pay attention to how nice her body looked laid out on the bed in that tight dress – seriously, I was sick. I shouldn't even be noticing shit like that right now. But I definitely was.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her as I locked the door and took off my shoes, trying to keep my eyes on my feet but not really.

"A little, but I can wait 'til morning. I'm really tired."

Nessie rolled onto her side then, giving me her back and I forced my eyes up to her hair. Then she kind of flailed around, groaning loudly.

"What's your problem?"

"My dress is too tight."

"Oh." That it was. And as much as I . . . liked the dress, I didn't want Nessie to ever be uncomfortable so I unbuttoned my dress shirt real quick, pulled it out of my pants, and handed it to her. "Here."

Her eyes took in the shirt first, then trailed up my arms and chest and then finally to my face. Then for a second she looked sad.

"You can wear this," I told her, like it wasn't obvious. I just didn't want her to look sad anymore. "It'll be huge on you, so it should cover everything."

"Thanks, Jake," she said, and smiled.

I told her there was a bathroom she could change in, but then I remembered the creepy hotel guy and I wouldn't put a damn thing past him. I'd watched too many episodes of 60 Minutes that started just like this and ended with some loser just like him passing tapes of girls changing around to his friends.

If I found anything, I was going to go back and break his neck. Luckily, I didn't.

"It's fine," I told Nessie once the bathroom had passed my inspection. Nessie looked at me confusedly so I added, "Cameras. Seedy motels like this . . . just – just go change."

Smooth Jake was back in the house.

Her face turned pink as I think she got it but she scurried quickly to the bathroom anyway. I opened the weird half-closet/ironing board thing at the end of the room and found an extra sheet so I pulled it out and grabbed one of the pillows from the bed. I threw them on the floor between the bed and the door and laid down.

I know what Nessie had said, but she'd been half-asleep and I . . . I couldn't do that.

I heard Nessie let out a huge groan when she came out of the bathroom and throw herself on the bed. I was wondering why until she crawled across the bed to gaze down at me. I could tell by just looking at her face what she wanted. Her hair fell into my face, brushing across my lips, and I blew it out of the way even though I didn't really want to.

She reached down and tugged on my arm. "Get up here, Jake, don't be stupid."

"No, Nessie, you have the bed," I told her, trying to remember in my head all the reasons why sleeping on the floor was the right thing to do. "I'm fine."

"Listen, Jake: I'm not trying to be nice here," Nessie told me seriously, her voice a little rough. "I've just completed a cross-state journey, running from I don't even know what and I might never see my family again and I don't want to be by myself, so get up here or I'm coming down there with you."

"Nessie," I groaned, trying to explain without explaining. "I just don't think it's – "

"Come on," Nessie cut me off. "We used to do this all the time before. I promise I'm okay – really, just please come lay with me?"

Please come lay with me. God, those were the magic fucking words, weren't they? How could I deny her anything when she asked me like that? How could I deny her, when she asked me for that?

And she was lonely. She needed her best friend Jake who used to lay with her and hold her and tell her everything would be all right. And I'd told myself I could be that again, that I would – and she very obviously needed me right now. I needed to stop being selfish.

So I got up, with my pillow, and rolled onto the bed. Nessie smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back, just a little. I held the covers open and let her crawl in, but I didn't go after her. I couldn't do that.

I felt a yawn coming on, but I held it back and kept my eyes firm on the door. It just didn't feel right to sleep, to let my guard down, when all of this was going on.

"Go to sleep, Jacob," Nessie said, catching me out.

"I will, don't worry," I told her, sliding my arm under her so she could snuggle up to me. I was so glad to have her back.

Nessie let her hand fall hard on my chest. "Go to sleep, Jacob."

I started to fake-snore and we both cracked up. Her laugh sounded so nice. It felt like days since I'd heard it.

Nessie felt asleep not too long after that, but I couldn't. She twisted and turned a lot and after awhile she kicked off the blankets and wrapped one of her legs tightly around mine and wouldn't let go. I probably could have tried harder, but I couldn't help but stare at her all night.

She was in my shirt, which was huge and loose but still somehow looked a thousand times better on her than that dress. And she was so soft, pressed up against me, her leg threaded between mine. I literally spent almost the whole night fighting off my body's reaction.

After awhile, her wriggling started to ride the shirt up. I watched it for a little bit, as it crept up past her knees and slowly up her thighs but when it got about halfway up I decided I couldn't be that guy. I reached out and tugged it gently back down past her knees, trying not to groan when my fingers brushed the skin there.

She was just so beautiful and perfect and I wanted her so, so bad. I loved her so much it literally hurt.

And then sometimes her brow would tighten and she'd pull me a little closer, press her face into the skin of my arm and there were a few seconds where I thought really bad things. Like, if I kissed her right now, really kissed her, showed her that I could make her feel good too – if I did that now, right now at the beginning of this, I would have a lot of uninterrupted time to make her forgive me.

Like if I rolled over until I was pressed on top of her, feeling every little bit of her body under me and kissed her. Ran my lips up and down her neck and threaded my fingers through her hair – I would never force her – but maybe, if she freaked out at first, I could get her to pause long enough to realize she could want me like this too. Not just Seth.

Like I said, really bad thoughts.

So I definitely, definitely couldn't sleep on the bed with Nessie anymore.

And I needed a shower.

Coming up:

"Jake, are you all right?"

I shook my head to try and clear it out but it didn't work. The scent was still filling every single cavity of my brain and slowly taking over.

Instincts - the wolf ones - were pounding in my body at full speed. I had seriously never felt anything like this. I needed Nessie. I needed her. But I always did, so what was the difference?

The difference was that now she needed me.