10. Kelly and the Love Lost
Kelly Blank, like Maria, had woken up this morning with a plan. Today would be the day where she would confront Justin, about his lies and about the new woman in his life. This time, it would be nothing like her experiences with Dolph back in high school. She wouldn't break down in front of him and allow herself to splutter and cry at his feet. She'd look him straight in the eye and maintain her composure and he would be the one to crumble as he confessed his infidelity. Then she'd turn around and walk straight out of the door and never look back. It was a totally foolproof plan.
Her eyes fluttered open and she turned over to find Justin's side of the bed already empty. Taking a deep breath, she rolled out of bed and padded over to the bathroom to freshen up. She stood in front of the sink, splashing water over her face and giving herself a quiet pep talk in the mirror. If he wasn't out on a morning jog, he'd either be in the kitchen making breakfast or out on the balcony doing yoga.
Kelly left the bathroom to walk calmly to the empty living room area. Wanting to avoid calling his name out, she peered around and noticed the door to the balcony was ajar; the curtain blowing in the wind. As she crept close she could hear the hushed tones of what sounded like him on the phone. Who would be calling this early in the morning? His mistress, probably.
She decided to allow him to finish his conversation, instead heading over to the kitchen so that she could busy herself. She began clattering around, admittedly louder than she needed to. She kept her attention focused on the bowl of cereal in front of her even as Justin wandered back into the room a few minutes later.
"Morning Kelly," he said quietly. His voice seemed much more muted, sadder even, than it usually was.
"Good morning Justin," she replied, barely looking up.
She was slightly taken aback when he approached suddenly, taking her hand in his and bringing it up to his face; stroking and kissing it softly.
"Justin? Justin, what's wrong?"
Her hand dampened as tears rolled down Justin's face. Suddenly Kelly took both of his hands into hers and gazed into his eyes; her own lips quivering at the sight of the pain evident in his face. In an instant her love for her boyfriend overtook her own anger and heartbreak.
"For some reason I've always seen myself as invincible," he said quietly. "I know it's silly, especially with the kind of lifestyle I lead, but I've just..."
"Justin, please tell me what's happened. Is this to do with that phone call?"
"Me and my friends from back home would always joke that we were going to live forever. Ridiculous, right? We'd dive into the ocean and then laugh it off like nothing. I've told you about my crew, right? Paul, Leo, Jolie, Ann and Todd. They're like your girls; we just have this tight bond and we've always been inseparable. Jolie gave me a place to stay for months after my dad died while I was in high school and all six of us just looked out for each other unconditionally; even after I moved to America for college. God... if you think I'm crazy you should see them."
He laughed and wiped his face with the back of his hand.
"We sort of all made this pact to never stop living every day as if it's our last. I guess that drives us to take risks with our lives but..."
Kelly cupped his face in her hands, wiping away the fresh bout of tears with her thumbs.
"Justin..."
"I was only an infant when my mother died so I never really had that sense of losing her. When I lost my dad it broke my heart. My friends all loved him too; he was sort of like our den mother or something. He'd take everyone in and feed them, invite us all to his wrestling shows, just give us the chance to experience really cool things. Losing him was the one big push I needed to truly discover the courage to go out and live life. He got really sick in the last couple of years of his life so it was like watching him fade away right before my eyes. I was expecting the end but I just never really imagined it would come. You just don't bargain for these things, do you? The day he died I vowed to move over here and go to school and just never look back. And I haven't yet."
His tear-filled brown eyes met hers and he clutched onto her hands tighter.
"My best friend Paul died today."
Kelly's breath hitched in her throat and she stared at Justin, stunned as he began to sob in her arms.
"He and Jolie were driving to the airport, getting ready to go on vacation in Bali. We don't really know what happened yet but the official report says a drunk driver came out of nowhere and ran them right off the road. Jolie survived; she's in pretty bad condition but she's in the hospital now and Leo says that the doctors are expecting her to pull through. Paul died instantly. Just the thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach... someone so young and so full of life, just having it taken away in a matter of seconds. Taken away as a result of somebody else's bad decisions. Just the thought of him lying there while the driver of the other car is able to just walk away with his life still intact..."
He choked out another sob and Kelly held on to him, pulling him closer.
"It's not fair, Kelly. It's just not fair. People like him, people like us, we're supposed to live forever, you know? We're supposed to live and die on our own terms. That's what we've always told ourselves..."
"It's okay baby." Kelly rocked with him, speaking quietly. "I know it's not fair. He didn't deserve that; nobody does. I'm so, so sorry for your loss."
They remained there in the kitchen, sharing a profound, tearful silence. After some time he looked up at her, taking several deep breaths.
"I've never really known what it's like to watch a life be snatched away so suddenly. I've watched my father die over a period of years, but I've just never had to wake up one morning accepting your life as it is just to have it changed so suddenly by the morning."
Kelly nodded, stroking his hands supportively. His eyes met hers again and he gave her a small smile. Through her own tears she tried to smile back as warmly as she could.
"When I was on the phone with Leo just now, we got to talking about our lives and where we're both at. He's in a serious relationship with a woman he's been with since high school. I've told him about you before but we got to talking again today, about you and about his girlfriend, and I realized something, Kells. I realized that my method of carefree living has always been about taking risks and chances and not being afraid of the unknown, but in the midst of all of that I never realized that deciding to be with you is the most terrifying thing I've ever done. I can go dirt-biking without even blinking, but the day I asked you to be my girlfriend I remember sweating and shaking so bad. Then when I told you I loved you I felt like I was gonna throw up.
"Kelly, you are dirt biking and rock climbing and deep sea diving and bungee jumping put together. Every time I wake up next to you I know that I'm truly living my life the way it's supposed to be lived. I believe that if Paul and my dad could see me now and see how lucky am I to have found you, they would feel the exact same way. I know I've made my mistakes in our relationship but I don't want this to end, Kelly. I need you in my life so bad and I can't believe that I'm only just realizing this. I'm so grateful and thankful that on a day like today, God has allowed me to find comfort in your arms when I could be lying on a beach in Florida. I know your faith isn't as strong as mine, and you know that I respect that, but I truly believe that it is His plan that has us here together, and not elsewhere; even if what the both of us originally wanted was to be there."
"Oh Justin..." she whispered through her tears, at a total loss for words.
"I want you to forgive me for all my shortcomings and believe me when I say that I'm going to make up for every single one of them."
"What shortcomings?" She said quietly, wiping her face.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"I've made you so many promises but I haven't been able to follow through with them." Kelly frowned. "I promised you this wonderful, amazing life in Miami, yet here we are. I know it's still uncertain what the future may hold, but I have faith, Kelly. I know great things are coming our way and I know that neither of us are ever going to stop working for them. We're going to make the move as soon as we can and if nothing else, I can promise you wholeheartedly that I will love you unconditionally, regardless of where this universe takes us. Hartford, Miami... hell, even Alaska."
Kelly giggled.
"Okay, maybe not Alaska. But you get the gist."
She nodded tearfully.
"I'm so sorry that you had to lose someone like you did today. But I'm still here for you and I will do everything I can to make this easier for you. I love you Justin."
The silence returned as each drew the other closer again and they shared an intimate, passionate kiss. When they eventually pulled away their foreheads remained pressed to each other. This closeness made them look into each other's eyes and laugh quietly, despite the circumstances. After another brief kiss, Justin excused himself and went to the bathroom to get himself together, leaving Kelly sat in the kitchen alone, still reeling. Like Justin had said earlier, she couldn't believe how quickly the tide had turned in a matter of minutes. She had gotten out of bed that morning ready to leave the man she believed had broken her trust, and now she couldn't imagine even being away from him today. After the incident a couple of days earlier, Kelly had experienced a heartbreak that she believed akin to losing the love of her life; now that she had watched the carefree, energetic and full of life Justin Gabriel break down after truly losing a loved one for the third time in his life, she could not believe how easily and carelessly she had been prepared to just walk away from love.
Justin needed Kelly and Kelly needed Justin; today more so than ever. The current saga was far from over, and Kelly knew that she would eventually have no choice but to confront him about what she had seen. But for now all he needed from her was her support and love as he grieved for his lost friend. When it came down to it, this type of love was not the glamorous and romantic kind she and her friends would gush over in movies and wish to find themselves one day, but the kind that took years of patience, tenderness and hard work to build, and much more than a sneaky suspicion to break. As Kelly ushered Justin back into their bedroom a few minutes later and lay holding him in her arms, she knew fully that this was the exact kind of love the two shared.