Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Chapter X

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I had just let it happen… What was wrong with me?

It had felt as if I had been standing from a distance as if couldn't really get to me. As if it hadn't been real at all.
But… I could still feel him. On my mouth. His hand on my leg.

I closed my eyes. I dried off the tears that had been left lingering on my cheeks after my first breakdown.

What was with me? Why was I this emotional?

What happened to my fiery temper that couldn't be tamed? I had crumbled in front of the enemy.

Have I lost my vision completely?

I saw Haku's kind face. This had all started so innocently…

I turned around and buried my face into my pillow. I could feel my body trembling and I held onto my matrass a little harder. But I couldn't stop it.

I kept sobbing desperately.

I woke up with a headache, red eyes and a heavy feeling on my shoulders. With a sigh, I tried my best to hide the tiredness and took a painkiller to stop the throbbing headache.

I did my usual routine of checking on the young boy. He was slowly making progress. The bedrest was doing him well, gradually getting more color and the need to eat. He gave me another one of his overly grateful smiles which made me feel worse instead of better.

I closed the door behind me and stared at the shamble ladder standing before me. I was contemplating on rather or not I should get up. I was going to have to meet him eventually.

Yesterday night I had questioned myself so much... My fiery temper.

The whole world is wearing a mask, so why couldn't I?

I might as well show him what I was made of. I might've crumbled but I was far from being broken.

I slowly got up the ladder, dragging my feet and muting the little voice telling me to stop. Halfway up I stopped, not brave enough to actually enter the room. He was still half-asleep to my surprise.

He opened his on eye. Staring at me, he kind of gives me bored look.

I simply stare back with a stoic expression. Inside however…

He looks almost human the way he's lying into his bed; on his stomach, hands tucked underneath his pillow. Almost looking as if he too was trying to hold on to something.

I doubt Zabuza ever holds on to anything.

'Do you need anything?' I quietly say, though I boldly keep my head up. 'Food? Drinks?'

He shakes his head, obviously still very tired.

'I'll be leaving,' I tell him. 'Please, the both of you need plenty of rest. Stay in bed for today.'

He doesn't respond but keeps his one eye on me. I just nod. Though its more to myself really, as if telling myself I had done a good job by checking on him. I was still myself and first and foremost, a doctor.
I wouldn't let him take that from me.

Without another word, I leave. Proud that I had dared to show my face without showing the feeling of embarrassment.

Yet when my feet hit the wooden floor below the attic, I can feel a warmth release itself on my cheeks. I had kept a certain distance to make it easy on myself but to no avail, I still felt foolish and weak.

Instead of feeling better, I ended up feeling worse for some reason.

Perhaps that was exactly what was making me feel this way, I couldn't take as much distance from the situation as I wanted. It surrounded me, it was inevitable to escape.

I hurry out of the house. A long day is ahead of me at the hospital and I want to distract myself as much as I can.

Unfortunately the painful headache lingers on all day, draining me of energy. I almost crash by the end of the day. I take look outside the window, it is actually almost close to midnight.

Though I hated myself for abandoning Haku so long, I keep using every single excuse possible to avoid going home. Or go out and see Inui. I can't even simply pass the commander's room.

I was trying my hardest to exclude them all out of my life.

But to no avail, seeing them all again at one point was inevitable.

Aside of all the thing going on in my personal life, the town was still a mess too. The fact that Inui had said he didn't know if he could help the town, had made him incredible unpopular among the hospital staff.

Or perhaps I hadn't try hard enough had Riku dared to say.

I had almost punched him for saying that.

And because of him, a venomous voice had settled itself in my head, adding to the chaos and asking me if I had indeed tried my hardest. Behaving like coward wasn't making me feel much better either.

But I just couldn't… I couldn't bring myself to go and beg him.

I held back a sob.

I couldn't deal with this all anymore. I was used to saving people, not being the victim in need of saving. And yet… I did feel that way.

Sitting at my desk by myself, I doodled on some papers. I was thinking about all the times I had saved a life. Sometimes men who didn't deserve it all.

I let myself wallow in self-pity and let the thought of me deserving to get saved by all this madness rampage through my mind.

Why wasn't the situation turning around?

I had lost the will to carry this strange mission on. I kept thinking over and over what had been said and had happened. It had all happened so fast… and I had gotten myself in so deep. Mentally too.

'Ahh!' I throw my pen on the desk, aggravated by the fact my mind keeps getting drown back to the same memory over and over.

Those damn brown eyes…

Burying my face into my hands, I tried to think straight again.
I don't know why I was letting him get under my skin.
I opened my eyes and tried to redeem myself, angrily telling myself I needed to stop this self-torture.

The hard-teachings of Tsunade suddenly came back and I managed to somewhat pull myself together.

Looking at the piece of paper I had scribbled on, I saw a name I had unconsciously written down.

Kakashi Hatake.

Had the time come to give up and try to find someone who still believed me after all this madness? And I could I still even talk to him with the commander being a part of the conspiracy? Had I missed my chance?

And by doing so… was I truly leaving Haku to his inevitable faith?

The ticking of the clock echoed in my ears. As if deliberately being louder than usual, telling me time was moving forward and I was standing still again.

I stared at the untouched plate before me. I was leaning on my hand, not even liking the food I had prepared. Well, it wasn't that bad. I simply wasn't hungry.

I moved the shrimp aimlessly around in my plate. I still hadn't heard from Inui.
My colleagues had stopped nagging me about it, which only had made me feel more responsible.

Now I felt as if they too had given up on this town…

Again I tiredly rub my eyes, trying to calm my mind. I get up and take the plate and throw the food into the garbage-can. I clean up the kitchen, do the dishes and all my usual choirs before checking in on Haku again, who had been sleeping when I had come home. So far, I had avoided the attic and he hadn't called me out either.

When I walk into Haku's room, he is awake and look rather well. His eyes brighten up when seeing me and I can see he's slowly recovering. I simply smile at the boy. I let the feeling of doubt about him disappear when being so close to him. I can't bare the idea for the moment.

We fall in our usual routine of asking questions but nothing to thoroughly. Enough to show interest but never get too intimate.

I ask him how he has been feeling, he asks me how my day was.
I thank him for asking, he thanks me for taking care of him and his sensei.

I almost feel a like a fraud for asking but the feeling of care and love that lie underneath all the words were becoming too genuine to ignore. I can feel him seep deeper into my heart and hear certain words echo louder into my ear. All the despair of the last week, made me be aware of my indeed aching loneliness.

'Haku,' I whisper to his sleeping form. 'You can always stay…'

I knew the option was no option for him but I just wanted to remind him. He could stay here. Have a chance of a normal life…

Keep me company.

For a minute I imagined a simple life, aware that the boy without Zabuza would be completely different. I have to remind myself that I don't truly know him and he is holding things back.

But still… He's only half.. half a demon. There is still something human in him.

Knowing I could not avoid the man above forever, I decided to meet him head on again. Tiredness, anger and frustration made me bold and daring. One could suggest I was simply behaving desperate but for me it was to keep myself going and keep my mind sane. I choose to see it differently and refused to display what I was feeling inside.

I bring him some food and a drink, placing it wordlessly on the tiny table next to him. He had cluttered it with books. I felt a little blush creep in on my cheeks when seeing so many, knowing I had made notes in some of them.

Some kind of personal. Some a little silly. Sometimes looking as if I had failed to understand what I had just read, though I was probably scribbling it down as an idea for similar problems.

'You've been keeping yourself busy,' I quietly say when he makes room for the plate on the tiny table. He throws my books down on the ground without any care for them, something that irked me a great deal. I had always been careful with them…

Caring not only for the value in knowledge but the wise reminders that kept me sharp as a doctor. These were precious to me.

I let out a sigh, telling myself to not bother, to just ignore the fiend sitting in the room.
Turning around without giving him much attention, I decide to go to bed early. Perhaps this time I would find sleep soon, though it would probably be out of pure exhaustion.

'So are you just going to ignore it?' he remarked stopping me in my tracks.
I glance over my shoulder, giving him a cold look in response. But he is not impressed, not planning on avoiding the confrontation either.

'Is that hard for you?' he asks me, sitting up. He lazily slouches, grabbing a the drink first. His brown eyes eye me up and down, as if analyzing my every movement.

'I was tired… and behaving unprofessional and stupid—'bullshit,' he cursed. 'You've been unprofessional the second you took us in.'

There wasn't much I could say in response to that. Aggravated by his words, I felt my temper rise a little. I had to hold myself in to not lash out immediately to his behavior by screaming just what type of man he was. He'd be dead if it weren't for me!

'Fine,' I say with a huff. 'Yesterday was a mistake. I wasn't myself.'

'Is it that hard for you?' he repeats. I frown at his word, not understanding what exactly he was getting at with that question.
'Letting go,' he explained, smirking at me. 'When your righteous feeling comes into play, you exploit it. Every move is meant to save, free or protect an innocent. But when it becomes personal, with no logic or thought, it's very wrong.'

Speechless, my only response was the redness slowly creeping over my entire face and neck. I felt my ears burn and my heart throb in them.

He quirked up an eyebrow, throwing me smirk. He knew so well when he was making me angry. 'Where you raised in an all-girls school or something?'

I realized I was seeing a part of Zabuza I had not encountered yet. The vicious played character that liked to see its victim's uncomfortableness before slaughtering it… Of course, I knew he wasn't going to kill me physically but… I did not want to hear his words either.

I could see him wanted to get to me again. His sharp teeth shone in the darkness. He could see my uncomfortableness.

I subconsciously took a step back when seeing the demon smile at me.

His last remark was still running rampage in my heart and mind...

I swallow my fear.

'I'm must've been delirious yesterday, that's all. Keep your childish remarks to yourself,' I coldly answer, my expression masking my voice. I tried to act aloof, make it seem as if his words had no effect on me. Inside however, I was crumbling. I hated how transparent my life apparently was to him.

'I'm not the childish one.'

Letting out an growl of annoyance, I snap at him. 'Was is this? Some sort of torture trough manipulation and exploitation of emotions?'

He let out a silent laugh, mocking my reaction. 'No.'

He takes the plate of food. Tasting the noodle and shrimp dish, he purposely lets me wait on the answer. Taking his sweet time, he even comments on how nice the food is before continuing. He was purposely doing this and I simply rolled my eyes at him, trying to act as if could care less.

'I'm just ascertain a fact.'

I was starting to feel sick. I couldn't stand being near him anymore. Just leave.

'Deep inside,' he said, licking his lips while eying me again and behaving in his usual way towards me, 'You share a trait with me.'

Shocked, I just blurt out what came to mind.

'You are nauseating.'

My words didn't miss its effect. I see him halt and momentarily he even stops the conversation, as if taken back by what I had just called him. Wiping the food from the corners of his mouth, he throws me an angry look. I can see him grit his teeth.

'Go,' he spat. 'Before I show you just how nauseating I can be.'

The promising threat was hard to miss, though I play it off as being angry and revolted by him, I anxiously move out of the room wanting to get as far away of him as possible.

Days passed by slowly. And sometimes I was amazed at how well I had learned to play a role. I no longer fell anxious, I no longer had to think of lying about something. The words just came to me. Quicker, easier.

Inui had ignored my plea and I felt as if the world was turning into one grim place. At home I had only a little bit of warmth to go back to. The tension between me and Zabuza was getting worse. I swear he was waiting for his moment to strike at this point. I had actually gotten under his skin with my foolish words...

He had gotten such a vicious look in his eyes. I think I drawn out the demon he had been hiding kindly from me. I felt stupid for thinking it couldn't get worse…

But above all… I felt so very lost.

Why was I even thinking about him?

Because he once again had portrayed a vision of me that I loved to ignore. He might've been the complete opposite of who I was and what I believed in but he saw a part of me I didn't want to acknowledge. A much darker part.

I was slowly starting to doubt every decision I had ever made. I felt frustrated and sad and had even lost the nerve to make the next move.

I hadn't even dared to think about the option of Hatake Kakashi again.

'Sakura?'

I let out a gasp of surprise before looking up. 'Yes?'
The startled response makes her frown. She gave me a worried look.
'Dwelling again?' she asked with concern. 'You seem to be lost in thought a lot lately… Are you alright?'
'I'm fine. What is it?' I respond, changing the subject immediately.

'Lord Inui is here to see you.'

I straighten my clothes and try to decent myself up, understanding the importance of why he was coming to meet me in person.

Should he reject my plea, I would have to argue to getting it my way…
I gave myself a stern speech, it didn't matter who he was, I wasn't going to take no for an answer!

Suddenly all the draining emotions turned into fierceness. I might've lost a few battles but I refused to lose this one…

As the nurse turns around to call him into my office, he stood practically behind the door. She let out a startled cry before stepping out of his way. Wishing her a good day while passing her, he walked into the room.

I forgot how handsome he was.

Standing before me alone, with no men to keep him company or to discourage me to say what I wanted.

We both oddly stared at each other before I finally tell him to sit down. There is a distance between us. The comforting and kind feeling I felt for him had been temporarily frozen.

I was awaiting his response, I first needed to know if he was the man I had made him out to be.

'Sakura,' he started giving me a kind smile. His blue eyes were bright and I could tell he was feeling even better than last time I had seen him. He looked so much better too.

'I'm sorry it took so long for me to come back to you.'

It almost sounded as something a lover would say. I had to fight of a blush and the twisted feeling inside my stomach. My emotions seemed to be living on a rollercoaster, going up and down without warning.

'I didn't mean for it to take so long but I wanted to give you a clear answer.'

I nod understandingly. This also means he had bothered to talk to Konoha about this situation…

'I have the news you want to hear,' he starts making my heart flutter. He smiles at my reaction, I can hardly conceal my feelings.

Finally some good news! Something good heading our way!

'But,' he adds, emphasizing the word, 'there is something I want in return.'

'Oh?' I feel a little disappointed and fear a little what he is going to say next, his expression is quite serious.

'Well, there are two things, really. First I need you to spend this last evening with me,' he flashes me a smile. 'Please join me for dinner, Sakura.'

I can no longer fight off a blush and his smile is contagious. I avert my eyes and hide the smile behind my hand for a second before trying to simply keep a straight face when looking back at him.

I can feel it crumbling and feel a weight being lifted from my shoulders. I suddenly feel like floating and the sadden feelings of just minutes ago evaporate into thin air.

'And second?' I ask, trying to be serious.

His smile falters a little, letting me know that the second part was far more serious and important.

'I'll tell you when we have dinner,' he simply said. 'Don't worry, it is a… bargain for the town, really.'

I quirk up an eyebrow and it almost ruins my mood. But I can't fight the feeling of happiness.
I suddenly feel like I'm bursting with energy. I feel like I could take on whatever was heading my way again. It wasn't just that the village was going to get what it needed, it was the fact he said he was spending his last evening here. And though, yes that did sadden me, this meant something else too.

The commander was leaving... which meant Zabuza was too.

And yes… unfortunately that meant Haku too. That thought did ache my heart.

But I felt freed from a huge heaviness that had placed itself on me almost week ago. I sincerely thought I was going to get flattened by it, that it was all going to be the end me of me.

I felt so relieved.

Inui explains he also wants to talk to me about some details like a list of most needed supplies for the hospital and what should definitely be included in the food packages.

I gratefully thank him and tell him he has no idea what he is doing for so many people. I bow my head while thanking the world for letting me know that I was wrong.

Good people did still exist.

When I try to shake his hand, Inui raises it to his chest and holds on to it a little too long. Eventually brining to his lips, he whisper he couldn't wait for this evening.

Flustered and slightly embarrassed, I smile from ear to ear. I stutter and behave like a complete idiot when he bids me goodbye. When he closes door behind him, I wait a little before letting out a victorious cry.

Humming lightly when I entered the house, I threw my coat on the chair and walked straight up the stairs. I had been thinking over and over on what to wear and realized I had nothing special to put on.

But then again maybe I shouldn't put too much hope on it… Maybe this was something rather formal and I was reading too much into it.

But I couldn't help myself…I felt my heart flutter and a rush of adrenaline speeds through my veins.

Out of all the moments in my life… Well, how does the saying go?

Your darkest hour comes before your dawn?

Yes, Inui most definitely was the sun I needed to make all of this darkness go away.

Suddenly the biting words out of the demon's mouth couldn't get to me anymore.

I couldn't help but smile at that. I took another relieved breath, feeling strong and confident again.

When closing my eyes I saw Inui's blue eyes before me and I had to suppress a giggle. Practically jumping instead of taking steps, I went up the stairs.

I dared to let my mind think of all joyous things to do when you go out to meet someone special. I hadn't get all dressed up in such a long time!

When my feet hit the wooden floor however, I freeze. Standing in the hall I had the instinct to go right, straight to Haku's room. I felt my heart sink again and realized there was still some hardship before me.

And there were some things I still felt uncertain about…

Letting out a sigh, I gathered my courage and walked towards the guestroom. Standing before the wooden door, I hesitated on going in. At first I didn't understand why I was feeling so guilty…

But then I realized, that in spite of all the good news today… I had yet to help Haku. Or figure out if he wanted my help.

And how much my heart fluttered at the idea of tonight, the situation at home would stay unchanged until further notice.

I didn't know how things would go from here on out.

I quietly knocked on the door. I smile when I see Haku's face come into view but it crumbles when I see who is keeping him company. Bored, Zabuza sits next to him. We greet each other with a stiff nod. His hard expression adds to the coldness in his eyes.

'How are you feeling, Haku?' I ask on a light tone, ignoring Zabuza.

I felt as if I had to keep up the appearance for some reason. Perhaps I just couldn't let the boy know just yet how close change was heading our way. I could tell he liked the way our lives were entwined with one another.

His cheeky genuine smile betrayed it.

Though I had been drowned in emotion the last few days, I couldn't ignore how he had enjoyed my company every evening. I talked about patients, people… And he loved to listen. At times, he would amaze me with his wisdom.

There was no denying it, Haku was getting better every day which meant this was all going to end soon...

My eyes glance over at Zabuza, who was acting differently around the boy. I bet he too had noticed how much Haku liked it when we were all together in one room.
I was surprised to see him actually listening to Haku without being mean or rude towards him when he told me he was feeling so much better and perhaps could help me cook today.

It all felt a little surreal, as if we were all hanging on to an imaginary image.

Maybe neither of us wanted to destroy it all just yet.

'How has your day been, Sakura?' he asked with his usual kind smile. He was sitting up straight and was finally getting some color back. He looked good today.

'Good,' I answer with wide smile. 'Really good, actually. One of those high placed guys has decided to help out the village.'

I wanted to stay vague about who it was. Or perhaps I wanted to hide my excitement a little. I felt guiltiness seep in again. I shouldn't be so happy…

This was the wrong time and place.

'Which is why I won't be home tonight,' I stiffly inform them. I avoid Zabuza's eyes and focus on Haku's, who gives me a disappoint and confused frown in response.

'Why not?' he asked, not hiding the dislike of me not being here.

I bit my lip in response, doubting my decisions.

Maybe he doesn't like being alone with Zabuza… Maybe I shouldn't go.

'He asked me out for dinner,' I explain, not doing well in hiding my blush. I could feel my face burn.

'Isn't he a gentleman.' The snide remark was sharp and I immediately threw him a glare. This time biting my lip to hide my anger.

'Oh.' His childish innocence could not be ignored. Haku looked at Zabuza and then back to me, obviously a little confused. He gave me a fake smile, hiding his true feelings. 'Have fun, Sakura.'

'I'm going to get ready,' I muttered. I ignore Zabuza's smirk and arrogant attitude. I try to fight off the feeling of guilt towards Haku.

I almost turn around and leave but I had to know first. 'What were you two up to?' I nonchalantly asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

I tried to find the answer on Haku's face but it had turned into its usual solid porcelain mask that held no emotion.

'Zabuza was keeping me company.'

Slowly I had learned to see the difference between real and fake. Only now I saw how unconvincing his smile truly was. Zabuza's smirk only widened, making me aware he wasn't going to tell me the truth. I was also aware that Zabuza had years of training in hiding his intentions and feelings. I could never pick up anything from his expression. Rather he was smirking or giving me a cold look, I never knew what he was thinking or feeling.

'Oh, well,' I slowly turn around, trying to hide the defeated feeling. 'Have fun too.'

'We'll be resting, like you prescribed.'

Haku's gentle voice sounds almost angelic…

I look over my shoulder and give him a small smile, 'You do that.'

You'll need it. Who's know what is going to happen soon…

In the bathroom I kept looking at myself over and over. I didn't like how I looked. And nothing seemed to fit. I fidget with my clothes again.

No actually, I had nothing to wear. I didn't go out much and well, the occasion of wearing something fancy was too seldom to spend money on too.

Oh, who was I kidding, this town didn't have any fashionable stores!

I was being hard on myself again. Acting like a teen again. The skirt and the blouse were nice. Maybe I looked a little uptight, as if I was going to hold a speech at some congress but I didn't look like a complete idiot.

At least I hoped I didn't.

Feeling a little uncertain, I loosened up some strands out of my low bun, framing my face a little. I looked sweeter, kinder. I approvingly smiled at my reflection. Some perfume and I was done.

Try to enjoy this evening, Sakura.

If only I took my own advice more to the heart…

Deciding I had wasted enough time in the bathroom, I hurried out to go get the rest of my things before heading out. I let out a gasp when opening the door and see the large figure blocking my way out. I gape at him for a moment.

'Zabuza?'

Without a word he pushes me back in and turns me around, pushing my back into the wall. He quietly closes the door. He had a stern look on his face.

'Who are you going out with?' he whispered getting straight to the point of our little meeting.

'Lord Inui,' I simply answered. He knew that, didn't he?

'Why?'

'Because he asked me?' Though the answer is sharp it comes out a bit staggered, not sure why Zabuza cared and where he was going with this.

He looked at me, eying me in a blatant matter. I cross my arms and give him a furious look. I wasn't looking for his approval.

I flinch when reaches out to touch my neck.

No matter how angry I got, he still had so much more strength then me…

'The necklace covers up the bruises nicely but don't move around too much. He isn't an idiot,' he simply said. Moving the necklace a little to look at his own work. The dark bruises had faded into yellow.

I pushed his hand away and put my collar and necklace back into place. He noted I had used to same trick on my wrist, covering it up with the sleeve and some bracelets. Again, I loosened my hand out of his.

'Well, I can't wear a scarf to dinner,' I snidely remark. 'Perhaps if you kept your hands to yourself I wouldn't have to cover everything up.'

'If you obeyed, I wouldn't have to be so… mean,' he answered with a devilish smirk. A chill ran down my spine and I wanted to get out but he pushed me back. He liked these type of arguments…
'Besides you don't mind certain touches, if I'm not mistaken.'

I threw him a glare before rolling my eyes. Why was he bringing this up again?

'Only you could consider taking advantage of someone as something as a good deed,' I bit out, while trying to move out again. He kept blocking my way.

'Get off your high horse, Sakura. Stop blaming everything on everyone else,' he spat back, getting annoyed with me.
'Excuse me?' I snapped.
'Yes, I did take advantage of you,' he answered with a proud smirk. He then turned more serious.
'Just like everyone else would,' he then added. 'Or isn't lord Inui taking advantage of the situation at the moment?'
'By asking me out to dinner?' I retorted, feeling humored by his insinuation that he and Inui somehow belonged in the same category.

'Just dinner for now,' he snickers. His amusement fades away into something entirely else. Grabbing hold of my waist, he pressed me into him. 'Besides stop behaving like you didn't like it.'

'I didn't.'

We simply stared at one another. The electricity between us was hard to ignore and I questioned myself and my sanity for a moment. But like always, Zabuza isn't afraid. And he certainly doesn't back out.

'You know why you don't like me, Sakura?' he whispered, noting how I was still fighting off whatever was left lingerer between us from last time.

'Because you are a heartless killer?' I answered, trying to anger him so I could divert the rising tension of our current situation.

The sharp words had no effect on him. Not like last time at least.

'So you do see underneath the surface…' he whispered with a smirk, breathing slightly into my neck to smell my perfume.

He let out a sigh. 'Haruno stands for a hardworking doctor who dares to make a stand for all shinobi; good, bad, wrong, right, friend… foe.'

I didn't respond to his little speech, I had too much of a hard time to not respond to anything else he was doing. But at the same time, I was all ears. Every word echoing in my ear.
'But only a small percentage of them ever gets to see Sakura.'

He was just holding me, why was I feeling this way?

He straightened up, our eyes meeting. Though he playfully kept moving around, 'You're angry because I saw a piece of you like to hide…' His breath tickles my face.
'You always had such a clear view on everything,' he points out while putting the loose strands behind my ear. I kept staring at him, suddenly he had my attention and I was listening intently to every word he was saying. I couldn't move a muscle.

'You don't help them out of kindness, Sakura. You help people to fill the void. And deep inside, you aren't uncertain if you can make Haku stay. You know he would if he could, all you would need is for me to leave him behind.' He spoke with certainty and I couldn't find the words to argue back.

'But you don't know if you truly want that,' he muttered. 'You refuse to asksomeone like me. You don't beg, no matter how much you want it and you most certainly don't ever give in… Almost like you refuse to give in to all the other more human parts of you.'
I felt a shiver pass through me as he looked down at my body. I felt his hand move around while his mouth trailed down again.

'People don't always do what is right,' he muttered, lost in whatever situation we had just created between us again.

'I don't want this,' I answer. I'm not even convincing myself with that tone of voice.

'Yes, you do,' he muttered, sounding almost aggravated. 'Which is why you don't like me. You don't want to give in to something that is insensible.' I could feel his mouth move against my skin. 'It all has to be right… Correct. Never… immoral.'

I want to open my mouth to argue back but again I can't find the words, so I'm left with my mouth hanging slightly open.

'Nothing too personal.'

He was getting a little too close… physically and mentally.

'Are you going anywhere with this?' I said, finally gathering the wits to simply push his face off of my neck. 'I don't believe I asked for the opinion of a psychopath.'

He snickers at my witty remark. He isn't angry nor does he hurt me in reaction, he simply loosens his grip. Slowly letting go of me and taking a little more distance, he gives me a certain look I couldn't quite place. It was almost as if he was playfully scolding me.

'Should you realize that we are all the same, Sakura,' he smirks at me, not hiding his intent in even the slightest way, 'I'm just upstairs. No strings, no indebtment.'

'Have you no shame?' I ask him in awe of his arrogance.

'No one does when it comes to greed.'

I push him off of me completely and with a huff I turn around and leave him behind. I can hear him mockingly laugh at me reaction to his words. I try to not let it get to me but the sting of his words was hard to ignore.

Was I naïve?

Did I indeed not want Haku to truly stay?

What the hell did just happen?

I close the door behind me and press my back to it. Trying to somewhat calm myself down and settle my thoughts. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I hated him. I hated how he made me feel and how much he relished on it.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to think rational but I couldn't figure out what he wanted to achieve by behaving like this.

A part of me simply concluded that he simply didn't take rejection well or perhaps…

I roll my eyes at the idea.

No, to him this was all a little game.

I frown at the thought, hearing him leave on the other side. His tall figure limping back to the attic or perhaps even back to Haku.

I felt my heart go at a normal pace again, knowing he was no longer around. I thought about it, feeling more freedom to do so now that he was no longer near.

He had analyzed me.

I hit my head on the door, angry at myself for letting his words get under my skin again and hating the idea he might actually have a point.

Did I keep people at a certain distance? I had indeed not begged for him to let Haku stay…

And I indeed did not have someone waiting for me at home… I did want to save Haku, I wouldn't be in this—what is he blabbering about, he would never let the boy go! He had been so keen on pointing that out every single time he could! But now he claimed he could, should he want to? Besides I thought someone was out to get Haku… You know what, I think it's Zabuza himself who can't take distance from Haku! It's he who can't stand the idea of the boy not being around, else he wouldn't be behaving so selfishly—what the heck am I thinking? This man was just toying with me because that is what he found pleasure in.

I stared at my reflection in my bedroom-window. I was having an argument with myself about Zabuza!

Since when did we both get so personal with each other?

Not letting him get to me any further, I got up from the door and continued to get ready for my special evening. But I was distracted, fumbling everything I got in my hands. It wasn't until I was out the house, I was able to give it all a place. Or at least take some distance of what had happened.

I didn't know what he wanted to accomplish by doing this.

Maybe it was because of that weird little thing going on between us.

Yes, it was nice and no it should indeed not happen…

I was just feeling lonely and desperate. He even admitted to wanting to do nothing more but to exploit that. He was a coldblooded demon who loved to devour every weak prey that crossed his path.

My feet kept going at a quick pace. It felt as if by leaving the house behind I could leave the thoughts and feelings surrounding both Zabuza and Haku behind too.

I was on my way to a nice evening. To something I could only imagine a few weeks ago. And now that it was finally happening, Zabuza had to interfere and make me think about my life decisions, my lack of relationships and my weaknesses. Was he so evil he had to ruin even things that meant absolutely nothing to him?

I tried to distant myself but his words about me not going for every option to make Haku stay had bitten deeply into me.

Shaking my head at it all, I halted when standing before the dark wooden doors again.

This time feeling more than just thrilled to enter them.

I blocked it all out of my mind. Telling myself Zabuza and Haku were taboo for the evening.

I had longed so hard for this… some kindness and attention. A person willing to care for you.

I felt a spark inside of me. He was wrong, I wasn't afraid of any type of relation. I wanted this. I even dare to say I was looking forward to seeing this thing evolve into something more...

Finally putting all the feelings of doubt aside, I confidently knocked on the door.

I wasn't going to let him get to me.

Who knows what is going to happen next… Well, me. Sooo… expect the unexpected.

Let me know your theories by leaving a comment/review! Thank you for reading!

And a big thank you to everyone who left a review on last chapter! It really means a lot to me!