Happiness is upon us! Finally, after what I think was a year of hiatus, I finally have the inspiration for the next chapter! IT'S GONNA BE EPICSAUCE!
Says you.
Says the idiot who is supposed to be resolving a cliffhanger that has been left hanging for almost a year.
Well, whose fault was that?
Uh, actually, Strong Bad, your nonexistent girlfriend – Sasha, was it? Anyway, she told me you and her are married or something, and she came after you because you ran away to Vegas after the wedding, but then you came out here because you thought she didn't know where you lived, but she did, and now she's looking for you.
I-buh-wuh-guh…HOW DID SHE FIND ME?
Speaking of looking, I have no idea why you're running away, because she is smokin'-forest fire.
Yeah, but she's an airhead.
O_O.
What? What are you staring at with those creepy little bug eyes o' yours?
There is a girl….
Yes….
looking…..for you – nay, STALKING you….
Yeah, I guess, but wha –
and she is ELEVEN GORGEOUS…
Yeaaahhh…what are you –
AND she is STRAIGHT…..
Uh, no crap, man. Seriously, what – wait…
AND she is A FRIGGING IDIOT….
Oh….my….Grumblecakes…..
And YOU – here's the kicker – YOU ARE NOT, I REPEAT, NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER!
…..
Either this is a miracle, or you're a bigger idiot than I thought. Based on my experience, I'm guessing you're going to run out of this room in about 10 seconds….9….8…..7
KTHXBAI!
….What do you know, I was wrong. Huh. *waits for epic fail*
*2 minutes later*
…
There you are.
…
Say something, you twat.
...Let's just tell the public what happened.
Yes, let's.
I DON'T MEAN THAT, YOU FRIGGIN' FRIGGETY-FRACK FRIGGIN'…*sighs* I meant the story. Let's tell them the story.
*sighs* Fine. Let's. You go first.
…So, where were we. I forgot, it having been a friggin' year and all…
Or maybe your foreign chick made you forget…..for a little while…;)
SHUT YOUR FRIGGING FACE HOLE.
Alright, geez. Anyway, you were rocking out with Homsar in your basement (INNUENDO) and then Homestar got all annoying about The Cheat, so then you went upstairs cuz you actually DID want to know what The Cheat said, and you found…..
What?
Exactly. Tell the good people, Strong Bad….or at least the tolerable ones.
Okay, cool, whatevs. So I goes upstairs cuz I think I'm in for some big time second-person groveling…and I see Homestar…..oh my God, I remember this part…
Strong Bad, you okay?
Uh, yeah, yeah, it's all good….I….guess…uh, maybe I should go see if Sasha –
Strong Bad. They're not waiting any longer.
…..Fine…So…..I….see….Homestar…..in front of my…door…..
Go on.
So he's…..lying…..on the floor.
In a pool….
of liquid of some kind.
And it's kind of red colored, so I think, 'Geez, he musta stepped on a juice box or something. Fine, I make him clean up the mess, then I make him talk to me about Teh Pitiful Not-Cheat, then I make him GET OUT.'
But then I realize the liquid's a bit more…..opaque…then most juices (for alls you uneducated peoples, that means 'not see through'), so then I think maybe it's Hawaiian Punch. It's like all over the walls and stuff, so I go closer to a big splotch to try to figure out what this crap actually is. Then I notice this weird, salty….rusty….smell…*shudders*
It's okay, Strong Bad, just keep talking…
DAMN IT, QUIT BABBLING AT ME LIKE SOME CRACKER JACK HALF ASS THERAPIST!
…We don't have to do this right now…
No, I already started it, let me finish it. Just SHUT UP.
Okay…
So I get closer, and I stick my finger on the wall and wipe off some of the liquid…..and I smell it….and I can tell what it smells like , I shoulda just left it at that, gone and called somebody or something, I knew, I frigging knew it and I just stood there like an idiot…
Strong Bad –
SHUT UP. So anyway…..I had to make sure….not feeling my usual….confidence….you know….and…..I had to know…..so…*sniffs*
Really, dude, it's okay, you don't have to –
I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DO NOT SHUT YOUR FRIGGING FACE –
Okay, okay!
I…..umm….I licked….my finger….and it tasted like blood.
And I knew it was blood.
So I took another good look at Homestar…..he was drenched in it…well, not all of him…
Just his leg…
And I took another look, and I swear, I don't know what happened, but….it looked like his leg had literally…..just…..exploded…..
And I could taste the blood in my mouth….
Leg blood….
Homestar's blood.
Last thing I remember, I was in the bathroom, kneeling over the Porcelain Throne…and….crying….and…..
I CAN'T DO THIS. *runs out*
…Well…then….ummm….guess there's just one more thing to say…..