Note: Sorry for the delay, I got derailed by prep for a job interview.

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junk food, jungle gym, justice, Jesus, judge, jolly, jimmies, jellybeans, jack in the box, jewelry, Japan/Japanese, Jeffersonian, jail, Jordan almonds, jelly doughnuts, Jewish, jobs, Jersey, January, ju-ju, Jupiter, jog, jello, jail, jealousy/jealous girlfriend, jailbreak, journey, job, Joy, Jasper, jive, jello wrestling, junkyard, Jane Doe, joke, Jamaica, jam, jargon, July, June, jelly, jeremiad, job, jonquil, Jove, journey, juice, juxtaposition, jerk, junior, jar-head, Jacob's ladder, Jamaica Rum, journal, janitor's closet, jogging, jilted ex, judgment, joker, jingle bells, junipers, jump rope, jungle, jaguar, jokes, jump, jet, jazz, jam, jumper, jack rabbit, Jack Russell terrier, jaywalking, judgment day, jury duty

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Relationship status: This is another one that starts at the beginning of time.

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When I was a child, my parents left me. I was devastated and bereft. I cried. I begged God to let them come home.

They didn't.

Instead, I was shuffled from foster home to foster home. I wasn't an easy child to care for. I resented these strangers for replacing my parents. I hated my brother for abandoning me. I was petulant and sullen.

None of that made my parents come back. Instead, it just made life more difficult for me. I was shuffled from family to family, from school district to school district, and my life became more and more unsettled.

So I did what higher primates do – I adapted.

I refused to let myself be governed by emotion. Instead, I made logic my creed and prided myself on behaving rationally.

When other girls in my university dorm were falling in love and getting their hearts broken, I devoted myself to my studies. I was curious about sex, so I evaluated the men I knew and picked Doug, who I knew would provide an appropriate introduction. When I found out he was sleeping with another girl in my dorm, I broke off the relationship – I didn't want to expose myself unnecessarily to risks of sexually transmitted diseases. There was no big scene – I just explained that I thought it was better if we terminated our relationship. He agreed.

Some of the girls on my floor expected me to be jealous and angry, but even then I knew that monogamy was unnatural. I wasn't surprised Doug needed variety in his sexual partners.

I had other relationships that lasted for a while. I lived with Pete for 2 years. When we broke up, it took him a couple of weeks to find a new place. A week before he moved out, Angela and I ran into him in a restaurant down the street kissing a blonde woman. Angela expected me to be jealous, but there was no reason for it – our relationship was already over. Of course he was looking for a sexual relationship elsewhere.

I saw friends and colleagues suffer from jealousy, and I was mystified. Why let someone else have such control over your emotions? Relationships are temporary. Boyfriends fall for other people, they cheat, they leave. Why not accept that?

Then I met Booth. At first we were partners - adversaries, really. Later, we became friends. He became dedicated to making me believe that relationships can last. He said things like "There's someone for everyone". He talked about love like he believed that it exists, that relationships can last forever.

I didn't understand. He had had as many relationships fail as I had. The mother of his child wouldn't marry him. How could he think that love existed? How could he think it could last forever?

When my ex-boyfriend came into town and betrayed me during a court case, Booth was there. When I found out David's claim to care about me was just a means to recruit me into a cult, Booth was there. When Sully left, Booth was there. When the whole debacle with Mark and Jason blew up and they both dumped me, Booth was there.

Eventually, I began to believe he always would be.

While I sat in that hospital room, waiting for him to wake up, I realized that I didn't know how I would go on if he weren't part of my life.

I didn't want to admit it then, but I loved him.

When he woke up, he thought I was his wife. It was torture to sit there, loving him, while he looked at me with love in his eyes, because I knew that was just a result of his coma. He wasn't in love with me.

He recovered from the surgery. He remembered who I was to him, and … he still loved me.

It took me a while to believe it, but he returned the feelings I was fighting so hard to suppress.

Three weeks ago, we started dating. Well, actually, I thought we had been dating for a while – the only thing we'd been missing was sex. Booth is a romantic, though, and he wanted an "official" first date. I wanted to have sex after that date, but Booth wanted to take it slow.

Last week, we had sex. Well, as Booth would say, we made love.

I've had other lovers, but sex with Booth was beyond anything I had experienced in the past. Before I met him, I would have scoffed at the idea that there could be a difference between making love and having sex, but now … sex with Booth – with someone I was so close to – was amazing. The emotional connection intensified the physical connection.

We didn't keep our new relationship quiet – everyone at the Jeffersonian knew. Whenever Angela saw the two of us together, she got a goofy grin on her face. In fact, she and Cam started an office pool about when we'd get married. I've always claimed that marriage was a remnant of less enlightened times, but the thought that Booth and I would be together forever was … nice.

I was happy.

Then tonight, I went to meet Booth at the Founding Fathers and found him having a cozy conversation with a blonde lawyer.

At that moment, I was jealous. Booth was mine. But it was obvious that despite his claims of love and forever, he was just another guy who claimed to love me and then, after I had sex with him, moved on to the next conquest.

I was filled with jealousy, anger, and hurt. I couldn't face him, so I just turned around and left.

He must have spotted me as I turned to leave, because I heard him call "Bones!" as I left. I didn't stop.

Luckily, I was parked right outside, and I had the car in motion before he was able to disentangle himself from the blonde and follow me.

I probably should have pulled over and called a cab. As hard as I was crying, it certainly wasn't safe to be driving. My cell phone rang three times before I made it to Angela's place, so I finally turned it off.

Luckily, Angela was home. She held me as I cried and listened to me rant. Then she told me I was wrong.

She said that Booth loved me, and I couldn't have seen what I thought I'd seen.

I didn't want to go home – I knew that Booth would be waiting for me. I needed some space, some time to figure out how I could have been so wrong. Angela wanted me to go talk to Booth, but I just couldn't. The betrayal was too fresh, too new. Angela is a good friend, and despite her disapproval, she let me stay with her.

We were still sitting on the couch when Booth arrived. I guess it wasn't too hard to figure out where I had gone.

I wasn't ready to face him. I wanted to ignore the pounding on the door, but Angela said, "I know, sweetie, but you need to talk to him. And my landlord won't like it if he kicks in the door." She let him in, then shot me a sympathetic glance and headed off to the bedroom, saying "Call if you need me, Bren."

He walked in, saying, "Bones, why did you take off like that? I thought we were meeting for dinner."

I didn't know how to answer at first, but I managed to say, "You looked fully occupied from where I stood. It's OK, Booth. I know that it is unrealistic to expect monogamy in a relationship. I just expected it to last longer than a week."

He looked a little offended, although I wasn't sure why. "What are you talking about, Bones? I was waiting for you to arrive."

"You didn't look terribly lonely. In fact, you looked like you were on a date." Did he expect me to join him while he picked up another woman?

He sounded exasperated. "What? You mean Anna? She's the prosecutor on one of my cases. She stopped by to say hi, and I was telling her I was waiting for you. She's a fan of your books. I told her I'd introduce her when you arrived – but then you got there and ran out of the door."

He expected me to believe that? "You were sitting at a table with her. Your body was angled towards her, and you had this smile – Booth, you looked so happy. Look, I understand. It was irrational of me to expect that our sexual relationship would last. Maybe we should go back to being partners."

Booth looked angry now. "You know what, Bones, maybe we should call this off. I looked happy because I was talking about you. Knowing that you're dating me – that makes me happy. Talking about your books reminds me how proud I am of all that you've accomplished. So yes, I probably looked happy talking to Anna – because I was talking about you and how happy you make me. But if you can't trust me – can't trust that I won't cheat on you the second your back is turned? Then we need to call this off right now – because I can't live like that." His voice got louder and louder as he talked until he was almost shouting.

"What's it going to be, Bones? Can you trust me?"

My mind raced. Was it possible that I was wrong? I had been so sure – and yet before Booth was anything else, he was my friend.

As Booth paced the floor in front of me, I remembered him standing on the dock when Sully left, and holding me as my dad and Russ drove away. I remembered him standing with me as we buried my mother. I remembered a Christmas tree in the snow. I remembered how offended he was that I might think he'd cheat back during the first Epps case.

As the memories flooded in, I realized – it was my fear that was the problem. I was looking for a reason to walk away because I was afraid that he'd hurt me. More than that, I was afraid that if he hurt me, I wouldn't survive.

Could I trust him? Could I let him have my metaphorical heart, trusting that he could take care of it? And if he didn't take care of it – could I trust that I would survive losing him?

Then I realized – he had spent the last four years proving I could trust him. He already had my heart. I had no choice.

I stood up to face him. "Yes."

Booth looked stunned. "Yes?"

"Yes, I'll trust you, Booth. I'm sorry; I should have trusted you all along."

He pulled me into a hug. "You're the only one I want, Bones. You know that. I love you."

"I know, Booth, I love you too. I'm sorry. I'm just not used to people staying. Be patient with me, OK?"

He ducked down to kiss me, then grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door.

"Come on, Bones. I'm hungry. Are you going to buy me dinner or what?"

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Kite? Kidnap? Kelp?