A/N: I apologize thoroughly for the lengthy time between updates! This past Friday, I left my old job and then I began my new job on Monday, so it's been a bit hectic and crazy trying to get used to doing something very different! I sure hope you guys haven't forgotten about this story and that you will review! There are dozens of story alert subscribers so I hope I get some feedback!

Also, I don't think this story is as short as I claimed before! There is more time! But still, review as if it's your last chance!

CHAPTER 10 – The Tome of Fornication

Sheldon's mind stirred long before his lips could. Amy Farrah Fowler had spoken those immortal words society had instructed the dumper utter: "I hope we can be friends."

Not that he would know anything about that, other than the bits and pieces of shattered relationships he'd pick up from his friends. He himself had never been dumped.

"An odd sentiment, that is," he finally croaked, after finding his voice, "I hope we can be friends. For although you are preempting fate by hastening the end of the relationship, the statement 'I hope' indicates a rather bold assumption that fate will once again take over."

"It is in fact quite possible we could be friends after this," Amy murmured. "Look at Penny and Leonard."

"Pish-posh," Sheldon spat dismissively. "Leonard is in fact merely biding his time until Penny once again finds herself inexplicably drawn to his self-effacing charm. Not only that, but they live across the hall from one another and must interact in the laundry room, by the mailboxes, and in the stairwell. Convenience plays a large role in her retaining Leonard as a friend."

"I see," Amy stated, attempting to disguise her obvious hurt. "So you would not linger in the hope that we would once again resume our relationship. It is unfortunately as I suspected, which only serves to strengthen my assertion that this relationship has met its end."

Sheldon watched Amy as her eyes begin to well up with tears. He absolutely hated conflict, and he especially hated seeing females cry. He couldn't drown her out with a blender full of ice, because the conflict and hurt on her face was purely visual. Amy Farrah Fowler certainly wasn't making this visit easy on him. He had to know something in particular before he could completely refute her tired argument with solid fact.

"I brought a book," Sheldon blurted, pulling the tome from inside his jacket. The cover was unremarkable.

"Already you want to act as if nothing has happened?" Amy asked, wiping her eyes. "Breaking up with you was more difficult than you can imagine."

"Completely understandable," he replied with unintentional arrogance. "I would go so far as to argue that it's preposterous to even consider such a thing," Sheldon replied matter-of-factly. "Now, before you assume that you have performed the break up with success, the relationship is only dissolved once we shake hands, and we have not. Your vague description about trajectory was not satisfactory in explaining the downfall. I simply want to gather facts before you render us hopeful friends."

"Fair enough," she admitted, attempting to hold her chin up.

Sheldon felt his ears heating up. This discussion would not be easy. Thank goodness for the book.

"I don't know how to say this, so I'm going to use visual aids," Sheldon indicated, swallowing loudly.

She nodded weakly.

With that, Sheldon flipped the book open to the page he'd dog-eared about the missionary position. Amy nearly fainted from the suddenness of the revelation. Sex? Intercourse? Who was this man in front of her who did this? Had she in essence broken Sheldon by ending their relationship?

When Amy finally opened her mouth to say something, Sheldon spoke instead, pointing at the man in the picture.

"I didn't do this, did I?" he asked her. "Because I just can't… see myself doing this."

"When?" she asked. "If you are referring to your existence before our first meeting, I can't vouch for that."

"Last night."

She felt her heart pause for a moment in utter confusion.

"Of course not."

He turned to the next page. Girl-on-top. He looked up at her.

"This one, then? Did we do this last night?"

He turned the page again. Yet another position.

Amy could only stare quizzically at the pictures he was presenting to her in such a strange fashion. These pictures were depicting sexual intercourse in a thankfully hand-drawn way. Why had he brought such a book? And why had he changed the pronoun from I to we? That indicated that she was involved in some way.

She thought of her neurobiology background. A false memory. Surely Sheldon's prefrontal cortex activity was dampened as he recalled this non-event.

She cleared her throat before she spoke.

"Are you under the impression that we engaged in coitus last night? Because we most certainly did not."

It was now Sheldon's turn to stare at Amy, his mouth opening and closing with no words emerging. Several times he gulped audibly.

"What?" he sputtered. "But… but you said we did!"

She shook her head defiantly.

"No I didn't."

"Yes," he said, his eyes wide. "Yes, you did." He blinked indignantly, shutting the book with a thump. "Don't tell me you're drunk again…"

"When did I supposedly tell you this?"

"This morning!" He exclaimed. "When I woke up next to you!"

"I informed you that we slept together. How else can I say it?"

"But—that phrase is synonymous with coitus."

"Says you," Amy retorted. "I derive no higher meaning from it. We slept side by side in a single bed, ergo, we slept together."

Sheldon was again reduced to silence. So he wasn't going crazy. He knew that gut feeling when he saw the book, when he thought of his capabilities. He stared at her, relief flooding his veins and causing him to act impulsively.

He crossed the short distance between them and wrapped his arms around Amy Farrah Fowler, holding her tightly against him. She in turn hugged him back. Her trunk was touching his at all points, from their chests down to their pelvises. Had she felt him shudder in her arms?

Amy was almost reduced to a pile of quivering gelatin. Was Sheldon now attempting to initiate coitus? First the dirty pictures and now this—it was essentially, foreplay. Amy wisely bit her tongue.

"Thank you, Amy," Sheldon murmured ever so softly. "You don't know how happy you've made me."

"You're welcome?" she replied carefully, her voice strained because of the ironclad hug. So Sheldon was blissfully happy that they hadn't had sex. Ouch.

The bridge of Adele's song blared out from the iPod dock. "Nothing compares, no worries or cares…"

Although his relief was great, Sheldon was now acutely aware of the swelling of Adele's voice from the speakers of the iPod dock. "Can you please turn down that racket?" he remarked, finally releasing her after a very long embrace. "I can feel my IQ declining with every uttered note."

"Of course," Amy replied in a surprisingly husky voice, hurrying off to her bedroom. Once the music was off, she returned to her living room to find Sheldon seated on her couch. He had asked his questions; now she would ask hers. Amy thought of the morning, of her request in the car that he had adamantly refused. Perhaps she and he had been thinking of different things. She cleared her throat, feeling her heart beating rapidly in her ears. Sheldon's answer could very well salvage what she had supposed was lost.

"This morning in the car, Sheldon, when you said you—"

"I was under the impression that we had had sex," he replied, having immediately picked up on the meaning of her sentence before it had completely emerged. This was quite a feat.

Amy sighed with relief, quickly stifling her smile so that she could question further.

"Now that you are aware that my request this morning was in actuality regarding sleeping in the same bed, would the outcome have been different?"

"By outcome, do you mean my response to your request?" he asked.

She could only nod her head, her throat suddenly bone dry. What would he say?

"I wonder what Sheldon will do all day without us," Leonard murmured in the short period of silence following the barrage of previews at the movie theater.

"Amy," Howard murmured with a smile.

"I haven't yet come to terms with this," Raj admitted. "I wish we could have had a proper discussion to fully comprehend what this means for our group. And now we are resigned to silence for the next two hours or so."

"It is a bit of a bummer," Howard remarked. "If we'd stayed at the apartment, we'd get to hear all about it."

"Assuming that Sheldon would actually admit to anything," Leonard replied. "Which I doubt."

"He said he didn't remember," Raj commented, "which could be a defense mechanism contrived to separate himself from the act. That and the showers."

"See? If we would have stayed we could have acted as his therapists!" Howard exclaimed. He was shushed by a pair of theater patrons seated directly in front of the group.

Rajesh looked thoughtful.

"Should we leave?"

"Are you kidding?" Leonard remarked. "At my pay rate, twelve dollars a seat is a binding contract!"

A/N: I should be better with update frequency now that I'm settling in to my new job. Please provide me with any and all comments you have regarding this story! I need encouragement, because I haven't yet written the new chapter!