Disclaimer : I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 9
Holding on For You
(B.POV)
Trees rustled in the distance, where was I? "Everything is so green" I thought weakly. Moving forward slightly I heard a snap of twig, The name that came first to mind jutted out, "Edward?" Nothing. After a few moments of listening I headed forward again, I spun around, what is this place? A light moisture hit the top of my nose, rain. I looked back down for some shelter only to see the greenest of green, emerald, Edward's eyes. "Edward" I whispered and ran for the home that is his arms. I pushed myself, harder, faster, he wasn't going to get away from me this time. Steady as I could get I leaped for him, when my arms made contact with his, everything disappeared; And all to suddenly I was left lying, alone, in a hidden sea of regret.
"No!" I yelled sitting up from my sleeping position of my tiny kitchen table. What happened? I looked what was so uncomfortable beneath my arms, it was my Pride of Prejudice book which was temporarily covered in Bella drool. Ew. Groggily I stepped up from my awkward sitting position and moved to grab a tub of sticky toffee pudding ice cream from the freezer. After subconsciously staring into the fridge, I moved back into my bedroom and slowly shoved spoonfuls of ice cream in my mouth.
This is definitely not normal, I thought to myself, its been a week and half since Ed- no, His and our fight. I wasn't angry, far from, I was sad and disappointed in myself. Why didn't I take a chance and tell Him I was falling hard, and quickly? Cause' it's against your morals you idiot! Yeah, but it was Him , I would do so much to lay in those arms forever. Oh? So just because he's different you'll change all you've been brought up too in a second? Well...yes. Useless! Fine! If your just so damn hung over him like a drug, go to him, feed your addiction!
I sighed, this internal conflict was making me exhausted! Why couldn't this, whatever it is, be easy? No worries, no fighting, just Him and I. I've wanted so badly to go talk to him, explain, but something keeps me from going. It was myself, I already knew that. He needed time I told myself over and over, but the more time I gave him the more he had time to convince himself I wasn't worth this. That in and of itself was another thing that held me back.
What was this anyway? It was definitely more than some lust, but it couldn't be love. I had barely known him over a week and half, it just couldn't be love. Love can't develop that fast, it's slow nurtured sort of thing. Yet, I can just feel a connection with Him, like I can almost understand him in every way; If he let me that is. I just felt safe with him, like nothing mattered, just us. But, is there an "Us?" , "I don't know!" I yelled at the voice in my head. There had to be, whatever we had goes much deeper than anything else I've experienced. Was there an "us" now though? After all that I've screwed up.
Angrily I tossed the now almost empty tub of ice cream at the door and laid back. Internally I sighed, everything was against at this moment in time: My cell phone sat on my bedside table, just taunting me, badgering me to call; Food couldn't fill the emptiness that engrossed my stomach, it only made it bigger; and my own mind argued everyday, between what I should do and what I wanted to do. It was so easy to just pick the phone, and call Him
I knew somewhere deep inside he was waiting for my call, I know he's battling himself just as much as I. A call from me was the last thing he needs, right? Right. "I'm just asking for rejection" I growled as I slowly reached for the phone and dialed his number. The time seemed to slow down and the only thing that could be heard was my thumping heart and the tempting ring.
Ring...
Ring...
Ring..
I was about to hang up when there was a soft click, and the voice that sent me to heaven spoke.
"Hel-"
"Edw-" I began but the voice kept rolling.
"-lo, You have reached the Edward Cullen residence and it seems I can't come to the phone right now. I'll get back to you as soon as possible, thank you for the call, goodbye"
Beep-
"Edward, I want to talk. We need to set some things straight, and get some things off our chest. I don't know where we can start, but I hope we can begin again. I miss you, please call back."
I snapped the cell phone shut and looked at it intently, "Please" I whispered. Already I felt better, just hearing his voice soothed me. He was an angel, an angel I didn't deserve. So, really, am I trying to win a lost battle? If I was, then I intend to make a lost battle that'll be a won war.
Smiling a bitter-sweet smile I stood and walked into the kitchen and began clean the dishes. Getting into the mood a bit I began to hum an old song , but it explained a lot that I needed to get out. The hum then quickly became a loud, emotional voice.
"I'll be there
when world stops turning,
I'll be there
when the storm is through,
In the end I wanna be standing,
at the beginning with you"
"We were strangers,
on a crazy adventure"
"Never dreaming,
How our dreams would come true"
I spun around at the added voice, and everything happened in slow motion. My eyes met those beautiful emerald lights, my head went blank, and all turned black. After what seemed like eternity my eyes finally opened and there, inches away, was Edward.
No words were needed, I threw my arms around him and held him close. He wasn't getting away , not now, not ever.
A/N
Alright, all I can say is Sorry. My computer was hacked again and everything was deleted so I had to start from scratch. Then for the longest time I just couldn't find inspiration to write...but I have more now and I'm so grateful for all of you who stuck around and are still reading. Now, if you guys need to flame me I totally understand, and as another part of my apology another chapter will be up tonight! I PROMISE! So..one more time...IM REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY!
The story is almost at the big climax yay!! So hang on a bit longer! Thank you guys SOOOOOOOO much!
Please R&R, it helps me so much.
Im sorry!
-Prettykittyh2o