Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: This story wraps up the Something Blue Arc, so I'll be taking a break next weekend and probably not posting.
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CH 9
Spike took the opportunity to slip out of the crypt while the Slayer and her chums were otherwise occupied. He started out for Restfield and then changed his mind, veering off across town toward the apartment complex the Bit had so recently taken up residence in.
She'd known.
Damn it. She'd known and she hadn't warned him. Buggering cruel thing to do to a friend.
He was still tasting Slayer on his lips, and not in the way that would have been natural. No, it wasn't the rich, full flavor of slayer-blood that lingered on his tongue, it was a far more intoxicating taste.
He licked his lips without thinking.
She tasted sweet. So sweet. And her mouth had been so hot. In the little fantasies he'd occasionally indulged in –the ones where he made her want it, want him, before he tore her throat out– he'd never accounted for her heat, or what it would do to him. God, but he wanted more. She'd felt so good up against him, on top of him. He'd never had a human. Too proper in life, and now, well, he didn't like to play with his food. Not much. And no matter how many times Dru'd stepped out on him he'd never responded in kind. One woman vamp, he was, and that woman had been as cold as he.
But not Buffy. And it wasn't just her heat he was craving, it was something more.
Was it always like that with the living, or was it just the Slayer?
Something told him it was her. Buffy. It wasn't the heat or the sweetness. Not just those. It was the strength, the power. And maybe a little bit of something that wasn't anything but her.
He'd never get her out of his head now. Never. Oh, he'd push it to the back of his mind, but it would always be there, lingering, waiting for the quiet moments, the weak moments, to consume him.
Dru's rantings drifted through his mind. Ashes, sunshine, and the Slayer.
He growled.
She could have at least warned him.
He didn't bother with pleasantries like knocking when he arrived. Had an invite, didn't he? No need to be polite. The door hit the wall with a bang, shuddering with the full force of his supernatural strength. He slammed it closed behind him with equal force, satisfied to hear the wood groan. If that door had been less than solid wood it'd likely have shattered.
Dawn looked between him and the door with an arched brow. "And hello to you too," she said.
He ignored the pointed remark, flinging his arm out behind him. "This couldn't have been one of those things you came back to stop from happening?"
Dawn's brow furrowed and for a moment she actually looked concerned. "What are you— oh." Her gaze fixed on his ringless hand and understanding lit in her eyes.
He'd nearly forgotten that part. Bugger. Gonna have to buy a new ring. Not much hope the Slayer'd give it back. Probably burned the thing already.
"That was today?" She was grinning now and he had to clench a fist to keep from hitting her. Yeah, she'd known. "I'm sorry I missed it."
He worked his jaw, trying to rein in his temper. Thought this was funny, did she? He begged to differ. She might too if she actually took a moment to think about the implications. "Glad you find this so amusin' pet, but I think you're forgetting the important part."
"And what's that?"
"Slayer knows I'm here now. What's to stop her from tracking me down and dusting me in my sleep?"
He was satisfied to see the color drain from her face.
"Oh crap."
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"I'll see your 'oh crap' and raise you a bloody buggering fuck."
Dawn ignored him. "We are so screwed," she muttered.
"Believe that's what I just said."
She scowled at him. He was right, darn it. She hadn't thought about the implications of the spell going off exactly as it had before. Mainly because she hadn't expected it to now that Spike wasn't bunking in Giles' bathtub. And she'd been perfectly content to let the rest proceed as scheduled. It wasn't as though anything really bad happened under that spell. And it kept Willow in check for at least a year or two.
Heck, even the part with Spike and Buffy wasn't bad in and of itself. The memories of that spell induced bliss (and spell induced kissing) had played a large part in forcing Spike to acknowledge his feelings for Buffy and, though she had never admitted it, had probably spurred along Buffy's attraction to Spike as well. It had simmered in the back of their minds, prodding them, reminding them what they could have. In fact, Buffy had told Dawn once that she'd never felt so cherished and adored as she had during her magical engagement to Spike. So, as far as Dawn's overall plan went, it was a good thing this happened, if only because it opened the doorway for Buffy to see Spike as a potential lover. It was probably good for Spike too – not only as a catalyst to admit his feelings, but it would also give him something tangible to fight for. A memory, not just an idea.
Provided he lived long enough to do anything about it.
And there was the real problem.
The first time around Spike had been chipped and in the custody of the scoobies. They'd known he was there and they'd known he was harmless. Had the engagement weirded them out? Absolutely. But it hadn't been cause for alarm. Not once Willow reversed it. Dawn could only imagine how they'd reacted to the sudden appearance of an unchipped Spike. It was lucky they hadn't staked him on sight. They might still try. Now that they knew he was in Sunnydale they were going to be looking for him. No way was Buffy going to let William the Bloody lurk about town. Especially after that spell. Repressed emotion fueled rage and all . . .
"I'll just write her a note."
"A note?" His mouth gaped incredulously. "That's it? You're gonna write one of your bleeding notes? And what's it gonna say? 'Don't kill Spike, you'll need him in a few months to save the world'?"
"I'll add a please!"
"'Cause that'll make all the soddin' difference!"
"You helped her save the world before; we just have to hope that she remembers that."
"Bloody hell." He ran agitated fingers through his hair, mussing it.
Dawn wasn't stupid. She knew that the real problem here, at least from Spike's point of view, wasn't a possible dusting. Even if he did have deeply buried feeling for her sister already he wasn't anywhere near ready to acknowledge them. Add to that the fact that in this timeline he still had his Big Bad image to maintain and, well, his demon was probably more than a little pissed. Plus, she'd known and she hadn't even thought to warn him. Yes, that was because it shouldn't have happened, but it wouldn't seem that way to him. He was probably feeling betrayed on top of humiliated.
"Spike, if it makes any difference, I really didn't know this was going to happen."
"Really?" he asked sharply. "Because it seems to me you knew exactly what was going to happen. Or were you tittering at my lack of ring tan lines?"
She sighed. "I mean, I knew it happened before, in my timeline. But I didn't expect it to happen now. Not the part with you and Buffy. Why would Willow have put that in the spell at all?" She paused, thoughtful. "Hold on a minute. Why didWillow do that part of the spell? I mean, the first time you'd esc— err, the first time they knew about you and the chip. Buffy was looking for you because you'd promised them information on the commandos. But this time they shouldn't even know you're in town." Her eyes narrowed and her hands came up to prop above her hips. "Spike, how did they know you were in town?"
"How should I know?" he snapped, defensive. "Spell jerked me off the street and into the old warehouse Dru and I stayed in the first time we were in town. Probably would have snatched me up from anywhere and deposited me in the Slayer's lap."
It was probably true. But there was still the matter of why Willow would even mention Spike if she didn't have reason to think he was in town and Buffy was looking for him. Plus there'd been that look in Spike's eyes. That flash of realization right before his gaze had slid almost guiltily away from hers.
She pinned him with a look and he shifted in discomfort.
"Fine. Might have sensed the Slayer when I was making my blood run. But she couldn't have seen me! I checked."
"Yeah, well, she must have. Because from what I remember from last time it was Buffy abandoning Willow to look for you that spurred Willow to say the two of you should get married. And I doubt you happened to be brought up in casual conversation."
He crossed his arms and leaned back against her wall, sulking.
She sighed and relaxed her posture. "Look, I'm not saying it's your fault, Spike. I just, yeah, definitely gonna need that note. A long one."
Spike just scowled.
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As if a note was somehow going to assuage his pride? The only silver lining to this was that the Slayer was no more likely than he was to go spreading the tale around town. Last thing he needed was it getting around that he'd snogged the slayer – and liked it.
Bollocks, but this was a mess. And who knew if the Bit's note would do a lick of good. He'd seen the look of the Slayer's face when she'd pushed off him. She was disgusted. Didn't matter it hadn't been his fault, she'd stake him good and proper the next time they met. And why shouldn't she? They were mortal enemies, weren't they?
Bit had started scribbling away and Spike had no choice but to hope for the best. Couldn't shove the cat back in the bag now. Dawn obviously wasn't going to reconsider him leaving town and he'd given his word.
Buggering honor. Stupid Victorian git.
Dawn paused in her writing. "Oh, and Spike? Now that she knows you're here it probably wouldn't hurt to engender some good will."
Right. 'Cause it was as simple as that. "An' just how do you suggest I do that?" he asked, frown firmly in place.
"You could patrol."
"Patrol," he repeated, "why the bloody hell would I patrol?"
"You've been complaining about missing the violence," she pointed out. They stared at one another, each determined, until Spike finally looked away sullenly.
Bint had a point. Could do with a spot of violence and this was the only way he was gonna get it and not get staked before he could do his bit with the world savage.
"Right," she said cheerily, "Let me make sure they get the note first, and then: patrol."
"So, if I'm 'patrolling' what's to stop these soldiers from snatching me up then?" he asked, though why he was trying to talk her out of allowing him more freedom he didn't know. Pure stubbornness, maybe.
"I thought you said you could handle yourself now that you know to watch for them?"
"Can. But that didn't seem to satisfy you before."
She smiled brightly. "Yeah, well, Buffy won't let them get you as long as you're being good."
He snarled, remembering his argument with the slayer while he was magically besotted. Wrong, the whole thing was just wrong. "Not good. Still evil here."
She had the nerve to roll her eyes. "Fine. Let me rephrase. Buffy won't let them get you as long as you're helping. Is that better?"
"Don't need her protection."
"Well, it'll make me feel better."
"And, anyway, Slayer's not gonna agree to be my nursemaid off your say so. Even if you can convince her not to stake me on sight."
Dawn became serious at that, staring at him for so long he almost broke down and begged her to spit it out.
"You're not going to fight her, are you?" she asked quietly.
"That's up to her, innit? Not gonna let her stake me."
"But you'd try to talk to her first, right? And then you'd run?"
He sighed. Much as he was itching for a good row he knew that the world, not to mention his continued unlife, depended on him having some self-control here. "Won't kill her," he promised at length. "And I'll try to earn her trust. But you're gonna have to clue her in to this world-saving bit if there's any chance she's gonna let me hang about. As for the commandos, well, I'll keep out of their way. Can't imagine they'll have much cause to be suspicious if I'm not out snacking."
"Thank you."
He only grunted in response. Becoming a right nancy, he was. He licked his lips, unconsciously seeking out the taste of Buffy once more, and instead caught a faint hint of what he thought might be chocolate chip cookies.
What the hell?
Had to be his diet. Soddin' pigs' blood; was drivin' him batty as Dru.
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Buffy went straight to her watcher's guest bathroom and rinsed her mouth with mouthwash. Then she did it again. And again. She was going to have to buy Giles a new bottle. She contemplated taking a shower, but for some reason every time she looked at the old fashioned tub it made her think of Spike. Which was way weird, because they'd never left the main room. But she couldn't take a shower while thinking about Spike in that tub. Nope. So instead she settled for wetting a washcloth in the sink and wiping down every bit of skin her clothing didn't cover – twice.
By the time she emerged Willow was pulling batch of cookies from the oven, and it didn't look to be her first. There was already a plate on the counter, plus the one Anya was holding as Willow piled cookies onto it. Well, at least some good was coming out of this mess. This was the closest to getting along Buffy had ever seen the two girls
"How long are you going to keep making these?" Anya asked with a frown.
Or maybe not.
"Oh, until I don't feel so horribly guilty," Willow said. "I figure about a million chips from now. Also, I have to detail Giles' car."
No one seemed to have noticed her, so Buffy took the rare opportunity to observe. As she stood in the small alcove watching Xander test Giles' returned eyesight and Willow pass around cookies, her eyes seemed to wander of their own accord. Which wouldn't have been so bad if her mind hadn't followed after them. There was the mantel, where she'd kissed Spike after he started looking for the general reversal spell to help Giles. And that little round rug was where they'd been standing when he promised to behave for her. Well, sorta promised, and they'd kissed again. And the chair. God, she'd never be able to look at that chair again. In fact, every part of Giles' tiny living room now held memories of being held in the loving embrace of William the Bloody.
And that was the weirdest part, really. He had been loving. Truly loving. He was willing to help her watcher and protect her friends. He'd even been willing to give up human blood for her. Was that all just part of the spell? From what Xander said Willow had only specified the two of them should get married, nothing more, and Buffy had been around long enough to know that marriage didn't always equate to love. Not for everyone.
Maybe it was because she and Spike equated marriage with love? Which was wigsome on a level all its own because it meant admitting that Spike was capable of love, even without his soul. And, yeah, a hundred and twenty years with the same chic did seem to prove that, but what he and Dru had could have been obsession, or the sire bond. Still, she'd seen him when Dru dumped him last year. That had been pretty genuine grief. But if Spike could love without a soul what did that mean for everything Giles and the Council had taught her? What did it say about the whole Angel/Angelus situation?
"Eat a cookie; ease my pain?"
Willow's interruption was a merciful reprieve and Buffy smiled as she took a chocolate chip cookie and took a huge bite. Yummy. "Mm. Better?"
Willow shrugged. "Well, baking lifts about thirty percent of my guilt, but only seven percent of my inner turmoil. Guess that'll just take a while."
"It'll happen," Buffy promised, taking another bite of the cookie. It really was very good. And, as an added bonus, helped to remove the taste of mint mouthwash from her mouth, which meant that maybe she could stop thinking about why her mouth tasted like mint mouthwash, which was so that it wouldn't still taste like Spike. She grabbed two more cookies off the plate and shoved the other into her mouth all at once.
"You got any more of these?" she asked, noting the empty plate before walking into the kitchen.
Willow winced as she followed after. "Did I mention about the sorry part?"
"We may be into a forgetting spell later." Buffy paused mid-cookie stacking. "I loved him." It hit her anew as she looked back at her friend and saw the living room from a new angle. She shook her head, trying to dislodge the image of adoring blue eyes that swam before her briefly. "We were betrothed." She made a face.
"Well, at-at least you were getting along." Willow offered weakly.
Buffy leaned back against the counter, playing with her six-high cookie stack. "But we weren't. I mean, I wasn't even nice. And the bad-boy thing— over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice relationship with a decent, reliable . . . Oh my God! Riley thinks I'm engaged." The cookies tumbled to the ground as she pushed off the counter.
"What?"
"Riley. He-he-he saw me. What the hell am I going to say?!"
There was a moment of absolute silence as everyone in the room stopped to look at her.
"Did I mention that I'm really, really sorry?"
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It took her some time to get the wording just right –vague enough without being too vague– but eventually Dawn was happy with her note. A quick glance at the clock told her she had time to get a few hours of sleep before she attempted delivery. She'd decided her best bet was to don her random-co-ed disguise and try to slip it into Buffy's things on campus. But right now it was two in the morning and Spike had only left half an hour ago. If she knew her sister most of Buffy's classes would be in the afternoon, and the gang was probably still at Giles' apartment anyway. She had time for a nap.
When she woke up it was just after noon and she took her time doing her make-up and putting up her hair. It was a shorter style than she'd ever worn, but she kind of liked the way it so easily went into a twist. Claw clip, couple of bobby pins and she was done. She picked up the hat she'd bought a couple days before on a whim and settled it atop her head. Cute. And very not Dawn, so it was perfect.
Once she was dressed she set out for the campus, pondering the best way to locate Buffy without letting it be known that she was trying to locate Buffy. She figured if she hung around the coffee shop long enough her sister was bound to pass by. She should have brought a book.
Fortunately, the Powers must have been on her side, because she'd barely reached the quad when Buffy showed up, accompanied by a familiar face.
Well, at least she hadn't messed anything up there. Buffy's relationship with Riley seemed to be progressing exactly as it had before. Dawn stopped at the trash can and pretended to dig through her pockets and bag as she waited for the pair to pass by. Soon she could hear Buffy's laughter floating through the air. And, wow, how did he not notice how fake that was? But then Riley had failed to notice a lot of things about Buffy before it was too late.
"You thought I was serious?" Buffy asked.
"Well, no," Riley answered hesitantly. "Um . . . you weren't serious?"
"Oh, God, please. I'm marrying a guy named Spike?"
She would be if Dawn had anything to say about it. Though not literally, of course. Although with some fake papers or something . . . She wondered if Spike had ever thought about it. Her future Spike, that was, not current Spike.
"Maybe. We haven't known each other that long."
"No, it's just— I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time."
Oh God. Dawn rolled her eyes. Like that wasn't the worst excuse ever? Clearly Riley was already besotted because the only way anyone would believe that shoddy ruse was if they really wanted to.
"I did not have fear in my eyes."
"Yes, you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain."
Besotted or no, even Riley seemed a little dubious about that one. "So you decided to tell me you're getting married."
"Uh-huh."
"So, you're insane?"
"Uh-huh!"
And wasn't that the truth?
"But you're still single."
And pathetic, Dawn thought. Wow. How had these two ever managed to stay together for more than a year? It was a miracle they hadn't imploded after a few weeks. For that matter, how had they gotten together at all? They gave new meaning to the world clueless.
And also, they were now close enough for her to accomplish her mission, thank God. She needed to get out of here before she lost all respect for both of them.
Somewhere Dawn managed to wrangle up a tissue, which she tossed into the trash can before she turned away. As she passed the soon-to-be couple she realized Buffy wasn't wearing a purse or even carrying any books. Not to be deterred she tucked the note into Buffy's back pocket as she brushed by. Her sister didn't so much as flinch. Hurray for nimble fingers, a vampire pocket-picking tutor, and a well-distracted Buffy.
As she left campus and returned to her apartment Dawn could only hope the note would be enough. She wasn't an idiot. She knew she was walking a delicate tight rope here, trying to change parts of the future while leaving others essentially untouched. The universe was deeply interconnected and she had to be careful or a seemingly harmless tug would unravel everything.
For the first time she thought she might understand how Buffy had always felt. The weight of the world was on her shoulders. One wrong step and it could be the end.
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A/N: And Dawn returns, for those who missed her. Sorry if this felt anticlamactic for anyone. There is a reason for everything, it'll just be a very long time before you find out (for sure) what it is. Thanks for reading.
reenas-as