A/N Sorry for the delay in updating. I intended to have this chapter in the beginning of the week, but unfortunately, things came up and the story had to wait.

This will be tricky, but for some odd reason, I can't bold or italic anything, so this will have to do for now.

Thanks to everyone who has favorite, followed, and commented. They are greatly appreciated.

I don't own any of these characters. I'm just having some fun with them.

Enjoy! - Jackie

CHRISTIAN

No, no, no! What the fuck just happened? I can feel my eyes widen when I see Ana has seen what just took place.

Pulling away from the blonde woman who threw herself at me I turn to her. "Don't ever fucken touch me again." I growl in her face causing her eyes to widen. Taylor walks in front of me and begins to talk to her, about god knows what. At this moment I don't give a shit. I have to talk to Ana.

I'm about to walk towards Ana's way, when I see her coming back, shaking her head gently as she steps out of the club. She can't fucken leave!

"Taylor I'll be right back." I yell over my shoulder as I run towards the entrance door. But by the time I exit, I see her speeding away.

Running my hands over my head, I decide to follow her. If anything happens to her it will be my fault. Opening the drivers door, I slide in and quickly, drive away.

Knowing Ana, has been drinking plenty tonight, she shouldn't be driving. Shaking my head at her foolishness, I feel the slight rise of panic, when I think anything could happen to her.

Slamming my hands on the steering wheel, as I notice I can no longer see her taillights, I curse out loud.

"Fuck!"

Looking at my speedometer I notice I'm doing 70, which could only mean she doing above 90. Stupid, stupid Ana!

Remembering the roads Elliot took the first time we came over to Ana's home, I take the same route.

Ten minutes later I arrive at the front gate, but I can't see her car or any of the house lights on. Reaching into my pants pocket I take out my phone and dial Elliot's number.

"Hello?" Kate says answering Elliot's phone after the second ring.

"Kate!" I yell over the phone, since the background is way too loud. Fuck!

"Christian, I can't find Ana! Have you seen her? I've been calling her phone, but it goes to voicemail!" She speaks in half hysterics as the music begins to fade in the background.

"Kate, do you know her passcodes to gain entry in her home?" I ask. Obviously she does, since it was her that unlocked the front gates the first time we came.

"W-why?" She asks in a sob and I can hear Elliot trying to calm her down in the background.

"So I can check to see if she's home." I can feel my hands squeeze the steering wheel even tighter. Just tell me damn it!

"Okay, I guess." She says with a sniffle. "It's 6924116." She pauses and sniffles again. "There's a spare key under the plant in the backyard, under the tulips."

"Thanks Kate. I'll let you know if I find her."

"Thank you, Christian." She thanks me.

Hanging up I type in the code on the keypad and the front gates open. As soon as the gates are wide enough for the R8 to go through, I drive up the driveway. Parking carelessly in front of her house, I get out and make my way towards the backyard. Finding the spare key, exactly where Kate said it would be, I walk back to the front door.

Ana you better be here!

Turning the knob, I step in and walk towards the living room to look for Ana. She's not here! Shit! Turning around I take the staircase upstairs and begin to search for her. NOTHING!

Shaking my head I walk back downstairs and turn to what looks like the kitchen. Taking my phone out of my pants pocket to call Taylor, I make out a dim light in the kitchen. Why didn't I see the light from outside?

I can feel her before I see here. I know you're here! My heartbeat has quickened and my nerves are rattled. If she's not here I don't know what I'll do.

Stepping slowly in the kitchen, I gasp when I see Ana sitting on the floor, with her back against the kitchen island, crossed legged and clutching a wine bottle against her sternum.

I want to yell and scream at her for her recklessness. But I can't. Not when she turns her face towards the direction of my gasp and I can see her bloodshot red eyes and her tear stained cheeks. It pains me to see her like this.

"Great!" She scoffs, "I can't stop thinking about him. Now I'm starting to see him." She drunkenly shakes her head sadly. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help the small smile that forms on my face. She thinks about me?

"Ana, what happened?" I ask while slowly making my way to sit next to her on the kitchen floor.

She scoffs again, "I met you." She shakes her head, but doesn't turn to look at me, instead choosing to look at the kitchen ceiling. I can't say that didn't sting, because if I'm honest with myself it did, but I can't blame her.

"Yeah, I can see that." I say solemnly while I look up at the ceiling as well.

"You know, I've always had my feelings locked away," I turn my sight on her as she shakes her head slightly. "But when I met you it's as if I never did." She turns to look at me with a confused look on her face. I can't say anything, instead I let her finish.

"Do you know what it's like to have people make fun, or insult you? To make you feel hideous, unloved, and unwanted?" She asks with tears running down her cheeks. Looking down at the floor I can't bring myself to say anything once again.

My memories from my past are few, but vague, for I was only a toddler.

I remember my birth mother, the way she looked, and the way her hair smelled. I may have imagined certain things, or maybe, I might of created new memories.

I was about three, and my birth mother was baking cookies or a cake. I'm not quite sure, but I remember her laughing. It was like Sunday morning and Christmas all rolled into one. I knew she loved me. But once she was introduced to that MAN, she changed.

She became distant, distracted, and more concerned about him than about me. I would go days without eating, showering, or sleeping on my bed. Instead I would have to sleep on the couch in the living room, because she was entertaining her guests in our one bedroom apartment.

I remember being hurt, some vague name calling, and pain. Lots of pain. But everything stopped once she overdosed and HE left. Three days later, I was found in the apartment, by the police officer, as my mother's cold lifeless body laid beside me on our bed. As far as I knew, being a three year, I didn't comprehend mommy was not sick, but dead.

I was taken to the Hospitals Emergency Room, by the police officers who found me, there I met the woman who would become my saviour and my future mother.

Grace was the Doctor on duty that day. She was the one who notice how malnourished, dehydrated, and dirty I was. She would encourage me to eat, drink, and to speak. At some point she attempted to bath me, but I couldn't deal with her touch. Instead, she would supervise while I bathed myself. As for speaking it was still difficult, I wasn't good with meeting new people, always scared about how they would treat me or the harm they would cause me.

Little did I know, three months later Grace and her husband Carrick would officially adopt me.

I became Christian Grey.

I was loved, cared for, and my teenage years hit, I rebelled. Drinking and acting out of control. Even though, I knew I didn't deserve it, they still loved me. They still do.

I'm broken out of my thoughts, when Ana speaks.

"Ever since I was twelve, and Ray and my mother divorced, everything changed. My mother moved away taking me with her under the guise of some mother-daughter bonding bullshit." She scoffs and takes a drink of the wine bottle.

"I may have been twelve years old, but I knew it was intended to hurt Ray and it did. He's not my biological father, but he loves me just as much or even more if he was, and when she took me, it hurt him." She sadly shakes her head.

"My mother had this boyfriend, who would come home and he would insult me. He would yell and scream how ugly I was. How no one would love me knowing I had no sexual experience." My hands automatically ball up and I want to punch the shit out of them fuckers who ever told her this.

"I was told I wouldn't amount to anything in life. How dreams where just that, dreams. If anyone ever wanted to be with me it was just to use me for their benefit." She wipes the tears running down her face using her hand. "I had to listen to it every day. From when I was twelve to fifteen. I would talk to my mom and tell her what he would say, just for her to brush it off and to some degree, she would agree." She takes a shaky breath and turns to me.

"Do you know what it did to me? I used to be happy and smile at people. Now I'm closed off and push people away so they never come close to seeing me as ugly and unworthy as I am. Instead, I fucken read to know what it's like to live. To scared to experience life for myself."

Turning my body towards her I see her for who she is. She's smart, intelligent, beautiful, passionate, but broken. She doesn't see who she is, because she sees who he saw her as.

"I would call Ray or he would call me and it was always the same conversation. How beautiful, smart, and loved I was. How mom and him were just jealous of my natural beauty and smarts. I would disagree and after a while I would shut Ray out." She shrugs.

"I never understood what he saw in me." She says sadly as her tears are running faster down her face. I want to reach out, but I'm to afraid she'll stop talking.

"Do you know what it's like to hear something like that everyday, especially when your mother would agree with him? To stop fighting what they had to say and just go with it? To be to afraid to fall in love, because your mother said no one would love you for being a virgin? This woman is suppose to love you and encourage you about saving yourself for someone who's worthy of you, but she didn't. Instead she would say once a guy found out I was a virgin, he would fuck me, and then leave." She laughs sadly and takes a big gulp of wine out of the bottle.

After taking another gulp of wine, she continues, "It's like when a parent tells their child there's such a thing as Santa Clause. They do the impossible for them to believe in him. Baking cookies, writing letters to him, hanging stockings."

"Little by little, those kids will believe full heartedly. But they don't see the damage that child will received, the lies told by the parents, being bullied in school by older classmates, self doubt, the list is endless." She stops talking and drinks the rest of the wine from the bottle.

"That's what happened to me, except it wasn't about Santa Clause, it's was about how ugly, stupid, and pathetic I was. And I believed it, choosing instead to read books with happy endings since I knew I could never have one. To know what love felt like without the consequences of my heart getting broken." She sniffles again as she stands walking towards the under cabinet cooler for a new bottle of wine. I want to tell her to stop drinking, but I see no harm in her drinking in her own home. So instead, I bite my tongue, and take a seat on one of the kitchen stools in front on the kitchen island, towards her direction.

Pulling the cork of the wine bottle, she places her right hand on the Kitchen island to balance herself, while her left holds tight to the bottle of wine.

"Once again everything changed when I met you." She sags with a hint of a smile on her lips, but it vanishes just as fast as it arrived.

"I worked hard to have what I do now, so one could ever say it was because of them. I choose to read books about romance and heartbreak because I'm too afraid of what it would do to me first hand. I don't want to love someone whose only intention is to hurt me, or use me. I'm scared." She says as she takes a deep pull from the bottle in hand.

"But you bring these feelings in me that I can't ignore." She speaks, looking directly at me.

"I want to know what they are. What they feel like. I want to live them first hand." She shakes her head as the tears keep coming down her face. I honestly don't know what to say to her. Yes, I feel something for her, but I too, am afraid. I've never felt like this for a woman. Yes, I've been with many including my previous submissives, but they knew the offer of more was never on the table. Could I possibly do that for Ana? Give her what she so desperately deserves? Her happily ever after just like in the books she found refuge in, while growing up? Could I possibly?

"Hell, I already know what jealousy felt like." She snickers and drinks once more from the bottle of wine as she walks away. What is she talking about? My brows furrow as I stand, confused by her jealousy comment, and follow her to the living room.

She takes a seat on the loveseat with her legs folded to her side. Stretching her right arm to turn on the side lamp.

"Ana, what did you mean by jealous?" I ask as I sit on the chair across from where she is sat. She turns to look at me with a bemused expression.

"You're still here?" She ask with a shake of her head and takes a drink of wine.

"Ana answer the quest..." She cuts me off, " There was a woman." She says with a faraway look. Who is she talking about? Trying hard as I can I can't think of anyone.

"A brunette spoke to me while I ordered my drinks at the bar." She answers and I can feel my eyes widen. NO!

"She told me something," she speaks again while her eyes are closed as if she's in pain. "At first I didn't believe it, but then I knew I couldn't ignore it." She stops to drink more of the wine.

"She told me she would tell me how good of a fuck you are, and how you like to fuck." I can't bare to look up at her, if I can hear the disgust in her voice, I don't want to see look she wears right now. I'm about to reach for my phone to dial Taylor, but she continues.

"I immediately knew she didn't lie to me, once I saw you kissing that woman in the darkened corner of the club." My head snaps in her direction. I knew she saw what took place, but it wasn't my fault.

"My heart broke and I have no fucken clue why!" She screams and takes a long pull from her almost empty bottle of wine.

"Ana listen to me, okay?" I say as I sit on the edge of my seat, with my elbows resting on my knees. "I didn't kiss her." I tell her and she looks at me as if I slapped her.

"I fucken saw you!" She screams and stands abruptly, causing her to sway a little, as her hand shoots to hold onto the armrest so she doesn't fall.

"I didn't kiss her." I repeat myself as I stand and walk directly in front of her. "She kissed me." She shakes her head not believing me.

"Ana listen to me, okay? I will confess to the brunette because I did." I tell her and I can see her eyes are brimming with fresh new tears again. "But the blonde, kissed me. I didn't kiss her. I pushed her off me as soon as it happened." I shake my head trying to make my point across. "The only one I've been wanting to kiss is you! Only you. I've been wanting to kiss you so bad it hurts." I wipe her tears, that are rolling down her faces, as I cup her cheeks.

Many things happen at once. I can hear her gasp, see her eyes widen, and then I feel her go limp in my hold, as she passes out.

"Fuck!" I grumble as I hold Ana with my right arm around her back and hold her head firmly in my hand.

Pulling out my phone from the left pocket of my pants, I dial Taylor's number, who answers on the first ring.

"Sir." He answers.

"Rebecca spoke to Ana." I say knowing full well, he understands what I mean.

"I'm on it Sir." He says before he hangs up.

After calling Elliot and informing him of Ana's whereabouts, he mentions he will be staying at Kate's, since she passed out from the adrenaline shock from not finding Ana.

"I'll call you tomorrow morning, Bro." He says before he hangs up.

Turning my attention back to Ana's passed out form, I smile. She's going to regret drinking so much tonight, in the morning.

Picking her up bridal style I walk up the stairs in search of her bedroom.

Reaching the first door on the left side of the hall, her signature scent hits me. Cherry blossoms and Vanilla. This must definitely be her room.

Opening the door, I walk in and make my way to her bed, laying her down on top of the comforter.

I gently take a seat on her bed next to her as I admire her sleeping form. Her makeup is smeared, her dress is wrinkled, and one of her heels is hanging almost off her foot.

"You're beautiful Anastasia." I murmur as I move a strand of hair off her face, causing her to stir slightly.

Getting up quickly, as to not bother her, I walk towards her drawers in search of some nightwear for her. After rummaging, for what felt like hours, I found a t-shirt that is far to big for her slender size, but looks comfortable. Grabbing it I walk back to Ana and I begin to undress her. Pulling off her heels I place them on the floor in her walkin closet as I make my way to her restroom in search of eye make-up remover and cotton balls.

After undressing her, which was tricky, and slipping on her, her t-shirt, i begin to remove her make-up. Once again she stirs when I pick her up and replace her under her blanket, as I'm all finished with her.

Picking up her scattered belongings off of the floor, I place them on the top of her dresser.

Making my way downstairs, I lay on the loveseat Ana was occupying, when I notice the time.

Fuck it's already three in the morning!

Closing my eyes briefly, as I just can't believe, what took place today. I dose off, dreaming of Ana and the way her body moved against me, while we danced in the club.