What if Sarah didn't help Ludo?
Sarah: You better not be leading me back to the beginning.
Hoggle: I ain't!
Sarah: Well you better not be, or else. You can't magically poof away like Jareth can.
Hoggle: …Crap.
???: ROAR!
Hoggle: AH! Goodbye! **starts to run away**
Sarah: Oh no you don't! **grabs him and drags him along** I want to see what it growling like a huge, dangerous monster that could easily eat me.
Hoggle: Didn't you mom teach you better than that?
Sarah: …
Hoggle: Well?
Sarah: Doesn't matter. I want to fill out the role of the fearless heroin.
???: ROAR!
Sarah: **peeks around the corner and sees a bunch of small guys holding sticks with demon-like-fetuses attacking a red yeti** Woah…I knew the air smelled different, but I didn't think it was some type of drug.
Hoggle: Don't worry, I'm seeing it too.
Sarah: Hm…For some reason I feel like throwing things at the goblins attacking the monster. **a rock rolls over to her** Oh! How convenient! **starts chucking rocks**
Hoggle: …
Sarah: Yay! I defeated them! **takes out a piece of paper and pencil from her pocket and checks something off**
Hoggle: What was that?
Sarah: Oh, I was just checking off step number 32 of Heroines, for Dummies: save (insert damsel, prince, or miscellaneous creature here) from distress.
Hoggle: Freak.
Sarah: Says the one who loves plastic.
Hoggle: Shut up.
Sarah: Anyways, back to the beast. Do you know the way to the castle?
Beast: Although this is indeed my habitat, I have not yet had the pleasure of venturing so far into the Labyrinth as to know how to reach its innermost sanctum.
Sarah: …
Hoggle: …
Sarah: Holy shit, it talks!
Beast: How very observant of you. However, I fear I must correct you on one of her bold assumptions. I am not an "it," my name is Ludo. Now would you be ever so kind and lower me from this precarious situation?
Sarah: No.
Ludo: Why do you deny my humble request? I am not a raging, irascible beast whose sole purpose is to devour you and your companion.
Sarah: You don't know the way to the castle, you're useless.
Ludo: On the contrary, I am certainly not a feckless being; I would be an exceptional surrogate to your dwarf—which, I hate to say, has no such sagacity as I.
Hoggle: I don't know what you just said, but screw you.
Sarah: Still no. You probably are just talking all smart as a façade (Ha! I know big words too) so that you can eat us when I let you down. Goodbye.
Hoggle: And good riddance. **they walk away**
Ludo: …Damn. How'd they know?
Meanwhile…
Jareth: Finally she manages to avoid something that will daunt her journey. It's like a frieken miracle.
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I recognize the suggestion to write these in context of each character's personality and what not, but I'm sort of stuck on pure silliness at this point so I apologize to any disappointed readers.
As you can see, I had fun inserting some "smart-sounding" words in there. I guess all those vocabulary tests finally paid off.
Read, enjoy, review.