Mira didn't know how long she stood there, in Draco's arms. She only knew that Draco would go back to Pansy, that after this precious moment, things would be the same as they were, and she couldn't tell him that she would give up her only refuge from him.
"Mira?" Draco murmured into her hair.
Mira pushed herself harder into him, ignoring his voice.
"Come on gorgeous, look at me." Draco said playfully.
At the tone of his voice, a tone that she hadn't heard in over three months, Mira was slammed into a flashback, forced into a memory that she loved, but that she knew if she visited it would surely be her downfall, her spiral down to the world where cutting kept her chained. Later, she promised herself later, when the razor is there, when it's in my within reach.
"Mira, you need to tell me about this. How else are we supposed to get over it?" Draco said, putting a finger under her chin and forcing her to look up.
"You want to know about it?" Mira asked, confused. Draco was the cause of this, he knew he was, he had to know!
Draco nodded, and led her back to the leather chairs. "Tell me, everything, all the details, the hows and the whys. I need to understand." He said, flipping his head back so his blond hair fell away from his face.
Mira's eyes fluttered shut. He was so damn sexy when he did that. Mira could feel herself dropping again; the slide she always rode to the bottom of her world was stretching before her, begging for her to hop on. She opened her eyes. "I can't explain, Draco. If you want to know the hows, I use anything, mostly razors. They're the sharpest and the easiest. And why?" Mira leaned in towards him, never breaking her stare into his slate-gray eyes. "Look in the mirror." She whispered, allowing her lips to hover over his, kissing him softly for a moment.
She stood, turned away from him, and left the library, leaving Draco looking horrified behind her.
A girl with chin-length brown hair materialized in front of her, turning the corner the same time she was rounding it. "Mira." Pansy smirked.
"Fuck off Pansy, I'm not in the mood." Mira growled.
"Sure you won't join me and Drakee for dinner?" Pansy said, sickeningly sweet. Mira rolled her eyes, and spun around to face the girl.
"Like I'd ever voluntarily watch you eat, Pansy. If I want to watch a pig mop up slop, then I'll call you. My advice to you? Weight Watchers." Mira turned back around, and ran down the set of stairs in front of her. She had no where to go, nobody to go there with, and no reason to stay here. The rain was pouring outside, thunder accentuating the storm and flashes of lightning appearing through the windows.
Mira looked up the stairs, knowing what wait for her there, then decided to take her chances in the storm. Without bothering to grab her jacket, she barged out the front door, tears pouring down her face and oddly enough, was able to breathe much easier in the torrent of cold water falling around her than in the dry warmth of the Malfoy Manor.
Mira looked up to the gray, unsettling, twisted sky. Just like his eyes… She thought, her heart pounding.
"Fucking stop it!" She screamed, smacking her head, as the cut vein in her arm twitched restlessly under the gauze bandage. She had to stop thinking about him, she had to get away. Mira looked to her left, then to her right quickly, then ran into the coldness, into the darkness.
I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside, all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do
All the pain I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable, come and take me away
I feel like I am all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold
If I show you, I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands
I'm going nowhere
I'm getting nowhere
Take me away
Take me away
Break me away
Take me away
The rain hit Mira's face from all angles, but the black-haired girl couldn't have cared less. Her mind was blank, blissfully empty, and she would keep running forever, if it meant she was free from Draco's voice, from his touch that felt so warm it was like a hot bath, from his smell that was so wonderful she would rather have breathed that into her lungs then air, and his eyes....his eyes that were so melancholy and so deep, so serious, and yet so snide at the same time. Where she was not thinking of him, she was alone, and alone was how she liked it best.
When you're alone there's no one to hurt you. The voice inside her head said.
I know, Mira agreed, I know. But I can't stay alone forever…soon, I'll need another hit, another fix of him…I'll need more.
Yes, the voice said, you always have to have more... weakness reigns in you, above all other things.
Tears stung at Mira's eyes, but she did not feel them. She did not feel anything then, and as exhaustion took over her, she slumped to the dirt road, and stared into the sky, and although she tried with everything in her to keep them open, the girl's beautiful green eyes soon fell closed.
Song used is Take Me Away by Avril Lavigne. Another perfectly Mira song.