I am very happy with the response this story is getting, and I am glad I decided to redo it. I am planning this to be anywhere between 20-30 chapters as long as I have something interesting to write, and people are interested in reading. I had to take a brutal biology final today, and I'm worn out. But, you all took the time to review, so I can take the time to update. This chapter is going to focus on Riley's thoughts about her life, to give everyone a look into her thoughts and emotions. So there will not be a ton of dialogue in this chapter just to let you know.
Chapter 10
Riley didn't say anything after the kiss. She just shook her head and walked away. Chris stared after her; now knowing that was the wrong thing to do. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He needed to blow off some frustration, so he decided to go undercover in the Underworld, and see if he could find who turned Wyatt.
Riley went and sat by the goldfish fountain in the park. In her future, that wasn't there. She couldn't help but think about everyone that she had lost in her life. Her brother Parker came to mind. After his death She began to shy away from people, not letting anybody come too close. She held herself awkwardly when she kissed her mom and dad goodnight. Sometimes she had caught her mother looking at her strangely before turning around and starting some project to keep busy. And sometimes she saw her mother's face deep in thought, or sadness, and she wanted to reach out to her, cry out, or fling herself into her mother's arms, but she could not, would not. She held herself back. She knew her mother blamed her.
She started hating going home, and instead fled downtown on the bus, or went to the Halliwell house. No matter how hard she tried to push Chris away, he came back, refusing to be pushed.
Things had only gotten worse for Riley's family when her father was killed. Her mother blamed her daughter for that too, and for the most part forgot she had a daughter. The only time she spoke was to insult Riley or issue a command to her. After that fateful fight her dad had died in, Riley had fled to the sanctuary of her room. She looked outside, surprised to see it was raining. She hadn't heard any raindrops hitting against her window. It was a soft, sad spring rain, making everything clean and right in the world. Every world that is, except for hers.
Then, a few years later her mother died. She had nobody left. Even though her mother had hated her, she had loved her mother. She didn't know how to stop loving her, just as she didn't know how to stop loving her father and her brother. She knew it shouldn't have hurt so much when her mother called Parker's name as she died, but it did. It had broken her heart. She remembered how she had run through the rain that had started to get to Chris. As soon as she got there, she found him waiting outside. She had found comfort in his arms, and she had found her first kiss.
Now her mind drifted to the relationship she and Chris had once shared. It was true they had always been best friends, but for a while, right after her mother died, they had become more than friends. To this day she didn't know if it was because they liked each other, or because Chris was trying to make her feel better. For that short while, they couldn't get enough of each other. They had unspoken rules, but they both knew them. These rules declared their boundaries, how far they could go, by mutual instinct. It dictated how long their kisses could last, how far touching and caressing could proceed.
Then one, day it all stopped, and it was as if they were just friends again. Neither of them ever spoke of it again, even to this day. Sometimes Riley wondered if Chris even remembered it. She had lost him to Bianca. After they first started dating, Riley had felt as though she was no longer important to Chris. The sporadic phone calls to check on her quit coming, no doubt Bianca's influence stopped that. Riley would catch Bianca looking at her with looks of pure loathing, but Chris didn't believe her. And as much as she tried not to let it bother her, she knew Wyatt had been right. Chris had abandoned her, no matter what Chris thought. She hadn't known Chris was going to the future until it was too late and he was already gone. Bianca had been smug about being there when he left. Not too much longer, she had been turned back to the side she had been raised on, the side of evil. Riley no longer had anyone to share her fear, happiness, doubt, or secrets with.
There were days when she wondered what it was like to be evil. To not have to worry about what's right and wrong, and if you were hurting, you could just go out and kill the source of your pain. And then sometimes, she was glad she was good. You saw the difference you could make in somebody's life. But mostly, she was sad. Sad she had lost everyone, sad that she was worthless, sad she was alive. She wondered if everyone would have been better off if Wyatt had killed her as planned. Chris's secret wouldn't be out in the open, and Piper and Leo wouldn't be as mad at each other. She felt tears flow down her cheeks, and she stood up, wiping her tear, putting on her usual happy face. A lot of times she hid her emotions, she hated for people to know what she felt.
"WHAT? You told her! What the hell were you thinking? Or were you even thinking? You knew I didn't want them knowing, so you just opened your mouth and blabbed!" That sentence was echoing in her head. The whole time they had known each other, Chris had never spoken to her like that. It had hurt, and surprised her. It helped her make up her mind about disappearing for a few days, long enough to clear her head about what she was going to do. She looked up from where she was and realized she had unconsciously walked to her parents' house. The lights were blazing, making it easier to see into the house. She saw her parents and Parker all sitting at the table, laughing and having a good time. And she wasn't in the picture.
She never had been.