April
Midterm Grades Deadline - Friday, April 12
Grad/Fac Seminar (Speakers: Drs. Cheung and Heinberg, Professors Emeritus) – Friday, April 28
oooOooo
Saturday mornings, Teddy sighed inwardly, were meant for lazy cuddles and sleepy sex, or waking up slowly over a laptop and a cup of coffee. Not sitting at Tom's kitchen table in his oddly small and unimpressive apartment, watching him fight with his percolator. Teddy slumped forward over the back of the chair that he was straddling, the wooden rail digging into the bottom of his folded arms.
Billy leaned against the counter, watching his brother, and Teddy was struck – not for the first time – by the strange and half-opposing combination that they made. Tom, usually so well put-together, looked like he had just rolled out of bed, sweatpants hanging low on his hips and his face unshaven. Billy's jeans and Henley looked almost formal by comparison, his dark-rimmed glasses pushed back to sit tangled in his hair.
Something beeped and Tom jammed the carafe back into the machine triumphantly, the sounds of brewing finally starting in the background. "Hah," he muttered darkly, and "take that."
Billy snorted in response. "You have triumphed, bold warrior." He followed Tom the couple of steps back to the table and leaned against Teddy. Billy draped his arms over Teddy's shoulders and kissed the back of his head. Tom gagged at them and Teddy rolled his eyes. "You really need to get a new machine."
"That one works fine," Tom shrugged, and dropped a thin file folder on the table. "Most of the time. This is for you." He tapped the folder and Teddy felt the weight of Tom's gaze on him when he reached out to take it.
"This is what you wanted me to see?" Teddy stared down at the folder, innocuous in its label-less manila blandness. "What is it?"
"Records from the registrar," Tom replied, with a hint of a smirk.
Billy stiffened and stood up, leaving just one hand on Teddy's shoulder. The air was cool against him where Billy's warmth had been. "How did you get those?"
Tom shook his head and grinned, then pushed away from the table to grab three mugs from the rack behind the sink. "Don't ask," he advised, and between the smug look on his face and the vague horror on Billy's, it seemed like a good idea to listen.
The documents inside were printouts, copies of Angel's tuition payments. He should close it immediately, not keep reading, but he was curious and panicked and hell; financial records weren't exactly super-private. Right?
Her first year was straightforward; bills sent out and paid promptly every time. Her second year was different. First term in arrears, notices sent, a flagged note about a cancelled meeting, copies of notes on her file that recommended meetings with student loan advisors… And then two cleared checks, one in late November and one in early March, which together covered her entire debt.
Teddy frowned. "Where did she get that kind of money all at once?"
Billy leaned in over him again, his arms folded across the back of Teddy's neck. His breath tickled Teddy's ear, and Teddy reached up to lace his fingers through Billy's and keep him there. "Maybe student loans came through?" Billy suggested. "They can be really late sometimes."
Teddy looked from Billy to Tom, the light beginning to dawn. "You think someone paid her for something illegal." The first check had been right after that meeting in his office, the second the week after he'd been accused. But that was a coincidence; it had to be. There was nothing in his life that lent itself to conspiracies.
"I don't think anything, yet." Tom shook his head, but there was a ring of insincerity in his voice. "You asked me to look into it, I looked. This is what I found. Mommy and daddy cut her off, and she seems to have found a new way of raising tuition funds." He shrugged, but his eyes were sharp on Teddy when he looked up again. "Maybe she's working at Wal*Mart."
'Somehow I doubt that," Billy muttered darkly.
"What do I do with this now?" Teddy frowned, closing the folder and pushing it back toward Tom, who ignored it. "I can't exactly go to legal and say 'by the way, my boyfriend's brother hacked-"
"Who said anything about hacking?" Tom interrupted, grinning wickedly.
"'Somehow got access to the registrar's financial records and found discrepancies.' It would get me in worse hot water, or look like I was trying to deflect attention from myself."
"So don't say it like that." Tom pinned him with a look. "You're an academic; you're used to shoveling bullshit every day. Figure out a way to say 'by the way, you might want to take a look at her tuition payments; something's weird here' without indicting anyone, and the committee can take it from there.
"First rule of everything, boardroom or bedroom." The tension in Tom's body shifted; despite the sweats and the stubble, he was the razor-sharp lawyer again. It was easy to see how he could own a boardroom or a courtroom this way. He continued as though the answer were entirely obvious. "Follow the money."
It made sense, even though Teddy didn't want it to. His imagination served up an image of Angel, angry, tired, broke, abandoned by her parents, and lashing out at a teacher who was 'letting' her fail. If she'd been involved in something sketchy at the same time- she must have been devastated when it all came crashing down.
It made him feel sorrier for her than he had before. And angrier at himself for not seeing the problems earlier in the year. Maybe if he'd reached out to her, suggested matching her up with someone at the tutoring centre…
He was still ruminating on the what-ifs and could'ves by the time they were heading for the door. Billy was behind Teddy as he grabbed for his coat, and then he wasn't, his attention caught by something on the floor. He bent over and when he straightened, he was holding panties. Blue lace panties, with a little bow-thing in the front.
Billy dangled them off one finger and held them out toward Tom like they were venomous. "Started walking on the wild side?" he cracked. Teddy's brain shut down entirely at that mental image and all of the nope that it engendered.
Tom snagged them off of Billy's finger and tucked them into a pocket. "Darcy was over." His expression was entirely blank, a wall slamming down behind his eyes so fast that Teddy would have missed the shift entirely if he hadn't happened to be watching.
Billy was oblivious, turning to grab his jacket from the hook and sling it over his shoulders. "Didn't think they looked like your size. So that's still a thing?" he asked.
Tom's shoulders were tight, got tighter as Billy spoke, but he made a joke of it. "What would you know about women's underwear?" He leaned against the wall, folding his arms firmly in front of him. "Scratch that;" his voice stayed steady, despite the total shift in his body language. It was a neat trick. "I never want to know that answer."
Tommy was so tense he was all but vibrating; time for a subject change. "Thanks for everything, Tom," Teddy jumped in, and Tom seemed to relax a little. Relief? "I really appreciate the help. I'm going to figure out some way to use this."
"Just keep my name out of it," Tom replied, and he sounded like his usual self again, smug and dismissive. "You were never here."
oooOooo
Ted Altman: Everything okay?
Tom Shepherd: Yeah. I'm amazing. Why?
Ted Altman: You seemed off this morning; wondered if something was wrong.
Tom Shepherd: Whatever Oprah moment you're having over there, keep it to yourself. I don't do 'hugging it out.'
Ted Altman: Sometimes I find it hard to believe that you and Billy are related.
Tom Shepherd: You and me both.
oooOooo
"I don't understand what's taking so long," Teddy confessed. He frowned at the cup of coffee cooling on the little café table in front of him, rather than at the sympathetic face of Sam Wilson sitting on the other side. "I thought the investigators had thirty days to make a decision."
"They do, technically," Sam replied. He looked way more at ease than Teddy felt, sitting with one arm looped over the back of his chair. The high-pitched buzz of noise in the library atrium made it hard for Teddy to think clearly, like white noise being pumped into the back of his brain. This was supposed to be a casual meeting to touch base, but it was hard to see anything about this process as 'casual.' "But when they're waiting on something – another interview, or some paperwork - they can file for an extension. It's standard procedure."
Jesus; as if the reams of documents he'd had to submit weren't enough. "What more could they possibly need?" Teddy asked, and it was more a rhetorical question than anything else.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Sam leaned forward and braced his elbows on the table. The nonchalant look fell away, and there was an intensity in the way he frowned at Teddy that made him really grateful that Sam was on his side. "Is there anything you haven't told us about this mess? Anything you've been keeping from Carol, or, hell, from me?"
Teddy hesitated for a moment before shaking his head slowly. Except; that wasn't the case, was it?
He paused. Then he nodded. "Yeah," Teddy confessed, and Sam frowned. He wasn't as good at the 'son, I'm seriously disappointed in you' face as Steve was, but he did a pretty good imitation. Teddy felt about six inches tall. "But not about Angel, or anything to do with the meeting in my office."
Now what? He couldn't lie to Sam, but Tom had been very clear about keeping his name out of things. To expose him as a source for information, when he hadn't even figured out how to get the records to legal in the first place –
"A friend," he replied lamely, and one of Sam's dark eyebrows went up. "Did some checking for me, and found some weird irregularities in Angel's records at the registrar. I have copies, but I hadn't made up my mind what to do with them. I don't want anyone else getting in trouble because they tried to help me." The papers were burning a hole in his bag. He could practically feel the weight of them pressing against his leg, the incessant thumping of a tell-tale heart.
Weirdly, Sam relaxed. "Do you have them here?"
"Yeah." Teddy fumbled with the clasp on his bag and stuck the folder into Sam's hand. There was nothing printed on it that would lead back to Tom, he was sure enough of that. "You don't look surprised," he found the need to say a second later, when Sam had flipped through the printouts.
"I'm not," Sam grinned at him, a flash of a bright smile that had the opposite effect of what he'd probably intended. "Someone sent these to Jasper, anonymously. I had coffee with him yesterday and he asked me about it, and I couldn't give him a straight answer."
He fixed Teddy with another look, this one laced with more kindness than before. "Whatever you know, I have to know. I can't help you without having all the information."
"That's everything so far," Teddy replied, and the whole room seemed to brighten as Sam's approval – well, maybe not approval, but certainly not condemnation – made itself felt.
"I can't help thinking that we could sort all of this out with a meeting," Teddy continued, knowing even as he spoke that it was wishful thinking. "Just, you, me and Sitwell, Angel and whoever she has representing her – if it's money that was driving her, if she's in trouble somehow, then maybe there's a way to help. And if she doesn't feel so backed into a corner, she could be convinced to recant her accusations."
"She's worked herself into a corner now," Sam tapped the file thoughtfully on the edge of the table, then tucked it into his own bag. "But if it looks like she's going to lose and you offer not to press charges for false accusations, a decent person might be convinced to step up." He finished the coffee sitting in front of him and set the cup down on the table, briefly lost in thought.
When Sam spoke again, it was with a finger crooked over his chin and a pensive expression. "Honest question time, Ted, and I can't tell you why I'm asking. Technically, even I don't know about this. But is there anyone who might have it out for you?"
"Other than Angel? I had one other kid fail, but he dropped out entirely," Teddy replied, a little more flippantly than he might otherwise have done. Have it out for him? He tried his best to be kind, and he seemed to manage it more often than not. He was usually pretty good at making people like him. Or at least feel comfortable around him.
Mind you, there was always Nate…
"Someone with money," Sam clarified, and that knocked Nate off the list. He was still couch-surfing and apartment hunting. People didn't do that sort of thing unless they had to. Besides; it wasn't like he and Billy had had the kind of lifestyle that suggested lots of income.
"No." Teddy dismissed the idea. "Not that I can think of. I had a shitty boyfriend in undergrad, but we haven't spoken in years." Greg's voice in the back of his head once in a while didn't count. Greg could be dead for all Teddy knew, and this kind of thing wasn't his style at all. He'd always preferred the more direct and personal approach to screwing with people. "Why?"
"Didn't I just say that I couldn't tell you anything?" Sam shook his head and grabbed for his jacket. "At least not yet. It may turn out to be nothing. For now, try and relax," he advised. "Jasper will get in touch when they're ready to convene the committee. For now the best thing you can do is try not to let it affect you."
"Easy for you to say," Teddy grumbled, slumping in his chair. The wire frame dug into his backside, and even the sunlight filtering down through the skylight and the leaves of the trees in their carefully-placed pots couldn't lift his mood.
Sam's warm and reassuring grip on his shoulder as he passed did help, a little. "What do you want me to say? 'Sorry, kid, you're screwed'?" Teddy's head jerked up at that, but Sam was all sympathy and Teddy managed a half-smile back.
"Everybody makes mistakes, Ted." Sam stayed where he was, hand on Teddy's shoulder, his grounding strength reassuring and affirming all at once. "And everyone does things they're not proud of. In your case? The only mistake you made was assuming that everyone has other people's best interests at heart. There are a lot of folks out there desperate enough to do some pretty awful things, in the name of self-preservation. It doesn't make them evil, but it does make them dangerous." That sounded like something more personal to Sam than anything Teddy had expected to hear, but he couldn't fathom what it might be.
Sam patted him on the shoulder, then let go. "We'll get you through this. And thank your 'friend' for me. I'll be in touch."
Teddy waited until the main doors had closed behind Sam before he pulled out his phone and typed in a hasty text.
Ted Altman: did you send those records to Sitwell?
Tom Shepherd: did *you* know that cell phone records and text transcripts can be subpoenaed in the case of a criminal trial?
Ted Altman: you make me nuts.
Tom Shepherd: just remember who's using up billable hours to save your ass.
oooOooo
[submit]
For once, the computer actually did what it was supposed to. Teddy sighed and flopped in his chair as his midterm grades uploaded themselves, the hourglass spinning happily on the screen. He could cross that off his to-do list, at least, and then he could have five minutes to freak out about the lack of news from legal before he moved on to the next. Portioning out the anxiety helped. Sorta.
Hearing back from Sam or Carol – or even Sitwell at this point, he wasn't picky – would be better.
The knock at the door made him jump; Billy coming in made him smile.
"Hey, you." Teddy's mood lifted immediately, and he pushed his chair away from his desk to give Billy room. He slid in between the desk and Teddy's knees, the way he always did, and shoved a couple of books aside so that he could perch on the edge.
"Hey, yourself." Billy leaned in and brushed a kiss against Teddy's lips, gentle and sweet, and Teddy smiled against his mouth. The twisted-up feeling he'd been sitting with all day began to untangle itself inside. Except that Billy wasn't responding the way he usually did, and he pulled back from the kiss before Teddy expected it.
Now what?
Billy had an envelope in his hand, and he held it out to Teddy, a worry line forming between his eyebrows. His thumbnail was ragged at the edge from being chewed. Teddy ran a hand over Billy's knee gently before reaching out to take it. "What's this?" The envelope had been opened, had a return address from a medical clinic stamped in blue on the front.
"Test results," Billy replied, his knee jiggling up and down and the frown line staying where it was. Teddy slid the paper free and unfolded it. This could really only be about one thing, unless Billy had been struck with some kind of odd cancer and this was his way of telling Teddy that he had only six months to live…
He'd been there before.
He took a breath, held it, and looked.
[HIV Status: Negative] read the line across the top, stamped in bold letters beside Billy's name and insurance number.
Teddy's chest constricted, then relaxed, then tightened again in a warmer way. The test was dated a month ago, the paper creased and marked from where it had been opened and refolded a couple of times. He tucked it back into the envelope carefully while he tried to decide what he really wanted to ask.
"You got tested?" He started with the obvious, the known quantity.
"Back in March," Billy relaxed visibly when Teddy smiled. Teddy reached out with one thumb to smooth the furrow that had appeared between Billy's brows. His skin was soft and warm, even there, and Teddy was overcome with the urge to scoot forward and bury his face in Billy's chest, and let himself be held for a while.
"The last time Nate and I were together was right at the beginning of December, so that was three months. And I was going to tell you, but then… everything…" he gestured vaguely in the air. There was that bubbling feeling of regret and guilt and time wasted. "I wasn't sure if this was a conversation that we were going to get to have." He finished quietly, and Teddy grabbed for his hand. Billy squeezed his fingers.
"And now?" Teddy hesitated, wanting to hear it. This thing between them was so much stronger now, in some ways, and in others still so damned fragile. There wasn't any room at all for assumptions, or misunderstandings; not while the scars were still fresh.
"With everything that's going on, I thought – we're good again," Billy replied. He picked up a paper clip and twisted it open, folded it back on itself. The nervous bounce was back, shaking his knee, and Teddy flattened his palm out on top and pressed down a little to stop him. "I figured we were ready to talk about it. And that you could use some good news right now." Billy continued, flashing him a grin that still flickered with hesitation. "I was pretty sure Nate hadn't screwed around, but better safe than, well. You know."
He was waiting for Teddy to say something, the paper clip turning into a spiral between his fingers.
"I'm negative, just for the record," Teddy said, and Billy's nervous movements stilled. "I got tested about a year and a half ago." Billy's brows furrowed again, puzzled, and Teddy was going to have to explain, and ugh. Sometimes being a grownup stunk. "There was this guy; I met him in a club," he confessed, his ears getting warm with embarrassment at the memory.
"You picked up a random?" Billy feigned shock. "Mr. Play It Safe?"
"It's like my life in perfect microcosm," Teddy confessed ruefully. "The one time I ever say 'to hell with it' and have a one-night stand, the stupid condom breaks. But everything turned out okay. And it's only been you since." He tilted his head up to meet Billy's eyes, and fell into the warmth and affection there.
(Dare he assume what hadn't yet been properly said? No. Words were what mattered to Billy and he hadn't gone there yet.)
Billy moistened his lips, swallowed, then forged ahead. "So we could ditch the condoms."
"-If you want to," Teddy replied, the tumbled mess of words betraying his eagerness, a glow starting somewhere in the middle of his chest.
"I don't have anything else, either-" Billy spoke overtop before he even finished, their words jumbling together in a mess of sound. "If you think we're ready-"
"-If you trust me?"
"Yeah." Billy replied, his hand finding Teddy's again and squeezing tightly. "I do. Do you trust me?"
There was a moment where he almost hesitated, the memory of Nate with the rose, Nate outside the apartment building with a bag, the ugly words he'd thrown in Billy's face -
- and then there was Billy. Who had been the one to come to him with his proof, who had gone out of his way to make sure Teddy knew he'd be safe, who had never lied to him even when the answers hadn't been what Teddy had wanted to hear.
"Yeah," Teddy answered, and he was giddy with it. "I do."
"It means you're going to have to give up your wild partying ways," Billy teased, the solemn nod and frown contradicted by the gleam in his eyes.
"Yeah, me and the remote. Fun times." The impact of it hit him all at once, and Teddy let out a soft breath. Anticipation boiled up in his blood and he couldn't drag his eyes away from Billy's hands, his mouth, his legs- "Holy shit, Bill."
"So, uh. You busy tonight?"
"Not anymore."
"How do you - I mean, what would you prefer-?"
The question wasn't one he'd expected, and oh the possibilities... To sink into Billy with nothing in between them but the slick of lube, to feel him tight around Teddy's cock, skin on skin-
- or on the other hand, to let Billy inside, just him, just them, and the easy slide of their bodies together. To be filled up, broken open, free to enjoy being taken with none of the hindbrain-stress about latex breaking or slipping-
He was a greedy, selfish person.
"Why choose when we can flip?" Teddy suggested, with a wicked grin. He trailed his fingers along Billy's inseam, scraped the edge of his thumbnail against the ridge of fabric.
"Hng," Billy said. His eyes glazed over for a moment, his pupils wide. He shifted where he sat, the flush on his cheeks and the bulge beginning in his slacks confirming where his mind had gone. "You are a bad man, and you should feel bad." He let out a ragged breath and stabbed at Teddy's chest with his finger. "How the hell am I going to concentrate on my afternoon lectures now?"
He was less than six inches away, and if Teddy leaned forward just a little, he could get his hands and mouth on Billy right now- Only the thought of Carol's reaction if he got caught actually screwing around in his office stopped him in his tracks. Teddy grinned instead. "And whose fault is that, for starting this conversation at work in the middle of the day?"
Billy hung his head, looking more embarrassed than Teddy had expected. "Escape route," he said slowly, reluctance in his confession. "In case things went wrong."
Teddy did lean forward then, but only to cup Billy's face in his hands. He smoothed his thumbs over Billy's cheekbones, his temples, and the sharp edges of his jaw, before pressing his lips softly against Billy's. He tasted like coffee, that faintly bitter flavor overlaying everything that was him, so utterly, perfectly familiar and warm.
Teddy let himself sink into the kiss, Billy's hands sliding up over his chest and his tongue tasting Teddy's mouth. Teddy pulled away, finally, pressed his forehead gently against Billy's to extend the contact. "You'll never need that with me." he promised, and Billy's kiss in return was all the answer that he needed.
After what had been easily the longest afternoon of his life, Teddy let the door of Billy's apartment swing closed behind them. He flipped the lock and it fell to with a gentle click. The hall light flicked on ahead of him, Billy already dropping his bag and coat in the corner and turning back to take his hand.
They stumbled into the bedroom that way, hands laced together and lips and tongues sliding over each other. Their kisses started tender, gentle brushes of Teddy's lips against Billy's ear, his jaw; the spot at the base of his neck that made him shudder and gasp at the touch of teeth.
Billy's hands slid under the hem of Teddy's shirt, his nails scraping against the skin of Teddy's back. Billy groaned, long and low, and his hips hitched up urgently against Teddy's. He made short work of Teddy's buttons, pushed his shirt down off his shoulders and mouthed down the skin he'd bared. He dropped to his knees and fumbled with Teddy's belt, and Teddy fisted his hands in Billy's hair.
Billy's mouth was slick and hot and everything amazing, his tongue drawing circles under the ridge of Teddy's glans, little teasing touches that slammed along every nerve ending he owned. Teddy fought the urge to thrust deep, to hold Billy's head in place and take him just like this, plunge again and again between those wet, red lips.
"Holy fuck, Bill," he ground out, his hips twitching despite himself, Billy's hands holding him steady while he mouthed at Teddy's balls. "Stop, god, you have to stop, or this will be over really quickly."
Billy pulled off with a slick pop and a short, triumphant laugh. He stood slowly, pressing kisses to Teddy's thighs, the curve of his hip, his lowest rib. Teddy grabbed him and kissed him, thrust his tongue in like he hadn't done with his cock; tasted his pre-come, salt and sweet, on Billy's lips. "You're evil," Teddy laughed, breathless, when he could finally let go.
"Like you didn't already know," Billy kissed him again. Teddy pulled his shirt off over his head and anything else he might have said was muffled in the fabric. Pants next, and Teddy pushed him toward the bed, Billy catching the edge of the mattress with his knees before he fell backward. He grabbed Teddy's hand and pulled him down with him, the pair landing in a tangle of limbs and naked skin.
Billy's cock was furiously hard against his hip and Teddy rocked against him, the friction on his own erection gorgeous, and beautiful, and Billy's skin was the best thing ever in the world.
He tasted him, ran his tongue down along Billy's body, and pinned his hands over his head so that he could nuzzle at the ridiculously soft skin on the underside of Billy's arm. The muscle popped there when he held him like this, tight and firm. He bit it and sucked at the spot, hoped it would be enough to leave at least a little mark
"Ow, Teddy!" Billy convulsed and pulled his hands down, laughing and gasping at the same time as he was riding up into Teddy's other hand, the head of his cock slick with pre-come.
Teddy swiped his thumb through the wetness and Billy moaned. "Sorry," Teddy mumbled into Billy's shoulder, not meaning a word. His knees dug into the soft cotton of the bedcovers as he worked his hand in a steady pace. Billy thrust up into him and gasped again, then pushed him away. Teddy went, letting go, conscious suddenly of the prickling sheen of sweat along his skin, the desperate ache in his cock as it jutted up against his stomach.
"I want you," Billy said clearly, arching his back where he lay. Teddy scrambled for the lube – bedside table, drawer… He pulled it too far open in his haste and the whole damn thing dumped on the floor, lube and a couple of foil-wrapped condoms and a handful of pocket change-
"Dammit," Teddy cursed, but Billy was laughing and stroking his arms soothingly, and it only took a moment before he found the half-empty bottle and slicked his fingers, wet and cool.
He knelt between Billy's thighs and drank in the sight of him. He was spread out underneath Teddy and he bit at his bottom lip, already kiss-bruised and dark. Billy pulled up his legs, draped one over Teddy's arm and the other up around his waist. Teddy kissed him, deep and desperate, and Billy kissed back with tenderness. Teddy sank down to meet him.
One finger, then two. This was nothing new, nothing they hadn't done a dozen times before, Billy's arms locked around Teddy's shoulders and his leg around his waist, urging him forward, deeper, more.
This, though, this was new, because when Teddy slipped his fingers out he didn't reach for one of the packages on the floor. He pressed the head of his cock against Billy's entrance, shiny-slick and ready, and then he paused. "Billy," he groaned, fighting against the instinct to push and claim- "Are you sure? Absolutely, completely sure?"
Billy sucked in breath and opened his eyes, those gorgeous dark brown eyes that held the world.
"Teddy," he said slowly and clearly, "if you don't get in me right the fuck now, I'm going to delete all of your Call of Duty save files. And your Steam account."
"Bastard," Teddy laughed, he couldn't help it, and he rolled his hips forward even as he laughed, and Billy was laughing with him and then he was gasping, and everything else vanished beyond the sensation of his body. He was hot and so amazingly tight; Teddy pulled back a little, lube-slick, then forward again, and everything was liquid fire and skin. Billy's cock was rigid between their stomachs, and he only flagged a little when Teddy slid inside.
Waiting for Billy to adjust and loosen for him was the most exquisite torture that Teddy could even begin to imagine, and the universe expanded and contracted in upon itself before he felt Billy relax incrementally. He was still snug around Teddy's cock, muscle and strength, and the friction was utterly different this way.
"Teddy, fuck," Billy gasped out as he thrust, gently at first and then faster as they found their rhythm. This was easy, so easy between them; Teddy gasped as Billy pulled himself up on his shoulders for leverage, rocked his hips down and kissed the noises away from Teddy's mouth.
It was too much, too fast, the simmering heat he'd been trying to ignore all afternoon spreading through Teddy's body as he pushed into Billy, deep and sure. Billy had his hand between them, stroking himself in time with Teddy's thrusts, and the sight of his fist around himself shouldn't have been as insanely erotic as it was. Teddy knew that warning sign, felt the tension coil up so perfectly deep inside at the base of his spine, his balls-
"Shit, stop," he gasped again. Billy threw back his head and groaned, but he stopped moving. Teddy's hips hitched in again despite himself, and his arms trembled from holding himself up. He gulped in air, tried to think of something, anything that would keep the end at bay. Football scores, student grades, Lomonosov's theories of the transit of Venus-
"Too good," he muttered, breathless. He nuzzled at Billy's jaw and his neck. "You feel so good, Billy; I can't-"
"If you want to," Billy said, flushed halfway down his chest, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat.
"No," Teddy shook his head and started to pull back. Billy whimpered as he slid out, and he laid apologetic kisses all down the line of Billy's body. "I want to come with you inside me," he managed to say, somewhere down around Billy's hip. Billy's cock jerked, leaving a line of pre-come glistening between the head and his stomach.
"You can't just go saying things like that," Billy said, his eyes glazed and a little feverish. "That's not fair." But he untangled his legs from Teddy's and breathed deeply as Teddy collapsed down beside him.
Teddy leaned over and kissed him, their bodies not touching for a moment. The air in the bedroom was cold against his cock where Billy had been nothing but fire. Billy's fingers skated lightly down the underside, along the vein and down between his balls, and they were already pulling up tight and hard against his body. "Please, Billy," Teddy whimpered, a description he'd vehemently deny, but the sound was safe, here. "I need –"
"I know." Billy sat up on his knees, his gorgeous cock flushed angry and rock-hard, gleaming wet. Teddy wanted him; wanted to suck him and stroke him, and more than anything else wanted to be broken apart on him, inch by inch. Billy pulled Teddy up as well, until they were on their knees facing each other.
After a moment's fumble with the lube bottle, there was a slick finger circling his hole, pressing inside. Teddy rocked against it, fucked himself down on Billy's hand with desperation. He was empty and needy and it wasn't enough, not even once Billy added a second finger, then a third. "Billy-"
"Come here," Billy's fingers slid out of him and his hand was sticky on Teddy's shoulder when he turned him around. Teddy's back was pressed against Billy's front, Billy's knees sliding between his thighs to spread him open just that little bit more. Billy's chin dug into his shoulder and his arm wrapped tight around Teddy's chest to hold him steady, and then yes – god, yes – Billy was sliding deep inside him, Teddy's body opening and beyond ready for the intrusion.
He took a deep breath as Billy pressed in; he arched his back and Billy bottomed out inside him. Billy shifted, rocked into him gently at first, then harder, filling and stretching him open until he was nothing but sensation.
It was difficult to get leverage like this, both of Billy's arms wrapped around him now, but the shallow strokes were teasing without pain, and Billy was holding him close, the smell of sex and sweat surrounding them. Teddy shifted his hips and rolled back to meet Billy's thrusts, and there the angle was, and there-
Billy thrust again, finding the same spot, and Teddy shouted, stars behind his eyes and lightning blasting through his limbs.
His cock was so sore, throbbing and begging for contact, and Teddy grabbed for it, gave a tentative stroke. The relief and wave of pleasure was immediate, on top of everything else, and he rocked desperately, thrusting up into his own hand and back onto Billy's cock. Billy laced his fingers through Teddy's and closed their hands around his cock together. So close-
"Fuck, Teddy, look at us." Billy's voice was halting and harsh in his ear and it took Teddy a second to have the motivation to open his eyes. From this angle they were visible in the mirror on the wall. Billy thrust shallowly into him from behind, his neck and chest flushed red. Teddy knelt, wild and debauched, his knees spread wide and the head of his cock vanishing between their clasped fingers as they stroked. Billy bit into his shoulder and tightened his fingers around Teddy's hand and dick, his thumb scraping along the underside of the ridge.
Teddy came and he saw himself coming in the mirror, his back curving and his head falling back, his mouth open. Fuck! His orgasm ripped through him, molten lava exploding along his spine and out through his balls and his cock and he was shooting white over Billy's hand and over his own and the image of it, of them, seared itself onto his brain forever.
Billy followed a moment later, with a few more thrusts deep into Teddy's body that half-lifted them off their knees. His nails sunk into Teddy's skin, the brief flashes of pain vanishing in the waves of pleasure that were still crashing over him. Billy went entirely rigid, shouted his name, and he felt Billy come, a wetness remaining when he softened and pulled away.
They collapsed onto the bed together, their arms and legs tangling; Billy pillowed his head on Teddy's chest. Teddy sagged down into the exhaustion, felt every limb start to deaden and relax, and he nuzzled into Billy's hair with a deep sigh of sweaty satisfaction.
For a minute or two.
"Hang on," Teddy grumbled and sat up, despite Billy's clutching protests. "I need to go clean up. That's one thing condoms are good for; mess reduction."
"But not much else," Billy muttered, only letting go once Teddy peeled his fingers off Teddy's thigh.
He was back a few minutes later with a washcloth for Billy, who had kicked the comforter down to the foot of the bed. Teddy curled up beside him, wrapped his arms around him and breathed him in deeply. Billy clicked off the light and they lay there, Billy's breathing slowing against Teddy's chest as they curled together.
Teddy was on the edge of sleep when Billy spoke, his voice dusky and low with exhaustion.
"I would move to Iowa for you, you know."
Teddy laughed quietly, a soft chuff of breath. "What, and live next to all those cows?"
"Moo," Billy said. He pressed his back into Teddy's chest and pulled Teddy's arms closer around himself.
"Go to sleep, Bill." Teddy murmured, and he kissed the back of Billy's head with reverence. And in the dark, he smiled.
oooOooo
There was a large box sitting in the history department office. Teddy frowned at it. It was too small to be an office chair, thankfully. The mystery was partially solved when Pepper greeted him with a frazzled nod and pushed the box into the office proper. Teddy followed her, his hand full of flyers and bulletins, driven by sheer curiosity.
Darcy was at her desk and she closed out of a couple of program windows hurriedly when Pepper and Teddy entered. "Morning, Teddy," she smiled, a little more subdued than usual, before spotting the box. "Oh good; is that our restock?"
"I did a CostCo run this weekend." Pepper crouched, sky-high heels and pencil skirt notwithstanding, and ran a boxcutter down the tape holding it closed. There had to be at least fifty boxes of tissues in the carton, stacked tightly together in a brick.
Darcy didn't seem at all surprised. "Awesome." She grabbed a couple and stacked them in her bottom drawer, while Pepper started filling the cabinet below the printer that normally held reams of paper. "You gonna stand there, Teddy, or be useful?" Darcy poked him and he bent to help them unpack.
"So should I ask?" He ventured after a second, standing there with boxes of tissues in each hand while Pepper emptied another cabinet.
Pepper answered without turning. "Thesis defense season."
Teddy snorted.
"Oh, how quickly we forget," Darcy chided him, waving a finger. "I bet it wasn't that long ago that you were a nervous wreck in front of your committee, buster. And who do you think picks up all the pieces when you guys are done with your poor students? Darcy and Pepper's one-stop student-counseling and chocolate shoppe, that's who."
"Darce-" Teddy started to ask, because at this angle she had dark circles under her eyes that even makeup hadn't quite managed to hide. "Is everything-"
"Has anyone seen my PhD student?" Kate interrupted, her long hair pulled back and a frown on her face. "Short, blonde, answers to 'hey, kid?' I think I misplaced her." She looked at Teddy, holding the tissues, then down at the half-empty box on the floor and the growing pyramid on Pepper's desk. "Jeez; is it that time of year again already?"
"Oh my god, I hate this campus!" Cassie burst in not far behind Kate. Her backpack was hanging open and she had papers and books crammed under her arm, a pencil tucked into her ponytail and a look of utter exasperation on her face.
"There she is," Teddy pointed out helpfully, and Kate scowled.
"What happened?" Pepper frowned them all down like a class of recalcitrant kindergarten kids, and Cassie flopped down onto the edge of Pepper's desk with a sigh.
"I was teaching, up in the Ross building? And that stupid new system went berserk. Some kid was smoking up in the bathroom on the third floor, and the computer decided that it represented an 'environmental hazard.' Do you know what that building does with environmental hazards?" She was working herself up, her voice rising, and she dragged one hand through her hair. "It locks down."
"Oh no," Kate breathed out, half in a laugh.
"Oh yes. All doors and windows sealed, total shutdown mode. And Johnson-fricking-Controls is based on the west coast, so it's like, five am there. It took Facilities half an hour to figure out how to make the 'quarantine' setting stand down."
"So much for new technology," Teddy replied, half-amazed. "Whiteboards and markers may be old-school, but at least they can't hold you hostage."
His phone buzzed at him as Pepper started to reply, and Teddy slipped out of the office to answer. It was Sam's voice at the other end, controlled and calm and cool.
"Are you somewhere where you can check your calendar?"
So much for lunch; Teddy's gut was so clenched and tangled up from those words alone that he was sure he was never going to be able to eat again. "No, but I can be in a couple of minutes," he hedged, looking down the hall toward his office door.
"Good. Clear an hour this afternoon, if you can. Legal wants a meeting."
The sword of Damocles was a real thing, and it was hanging over Teddy's head at that exact moment. He swore he could feel it, twisting and turning on a single thread, the point brushing against the ends of his hair.
He looked up, feeling like an idiot for doing so.
There was nothing there but the ceiling. His overwhelming sense of dread didn't waver.
"Yeah, sure," he replied instead, his own voice sounding shaky in his ears. "I'll do that. I'm free from three on."
"I'll email you the building and room." And then the line went dead.
Fuck.
oooOooo
The room turned out to be a whole lot less impressive than Teddy had been expecting.
Shouldn't important things happen in important rooms, places that gave at least a minimal sense of gravitas to the destruction or redemption of a person? Thank god he'd only had a couple of hours to work himself up for it. He'd already been bracing for a tribunal across a long head table, with impassive faces staring down at him from behind name card, the university's great seal and portraits of long-dead deans and chancellors judging him from portraits in the walls.
The little meeting room with the round table and plastic chairs hardly qualified as anything exciting. Jasper Sitwell and Sam Wilson were at the table with him, chatting companionably about their weekend plans; Teddy sipped from the cup of water in front of him and tried to pay attention.
"So this should be quick, Ted," Sitwell began, and Teddy let out a breath.
"This isn't the decision, then?" It couldn't be, or Carol would be there as well, wouldn't she?
"Not yet, I'm afraid." He didn't look particularly afraid, Teddy decided with more than a hint of uncharitable bitterness. "But it shouldn't be much longer, if everything goes the way I expect it to. I just need to check something with you first."
Teddy looked at Sam, and Sam simply nodded. Okay. It was going to be okay. Whatever this was.
Sitwell pulled some photographs out of his briefcase and set them down on the table in front of him. Teddy picked them up and squinted at them before he realized what he was looking at.
The pictures were grainy, blown up from what seemed to be a security camera. The room in the pictures was some kind of store – a jewelry store, Teddy realized, the glass display cases of rings and bracelets at an odd angle to the lens.
A man was visible at the counter, talking to the jeweler. The black and white image made some details hard to work out, but the dark hair, the shape of his face – that, Teddy recognized.
"You know this man," Sam prompted, and Teddy nodded. His mouth was dry and he took a sip of water, the cup cool and smooth between his fingers.
"Yeah. That's Nate Richards. He's Bill's – he's my boyfriend's ex."
Why the hell did they have photographs of Nate in a jewelry store? Teddy flipped through the three pictures but they were all pretty much the same, the jeweler's head blocking out part of the counter and whatever it was the pair of them were discussing.
Sitwell nodded. He didn't write anything down. "Is there any particular reason he might want to discredit you?"
"He, uh." Teddy took another deep breath, forced his shoulders down. Control. "He blames me for their breakup last fall. It's not true – not the way he thinks it is – but he was pretty mad at both of us." He looked up at Sitwell sharply. "Where are these pictures from? How did you get them?"
Sitwell grimaced, an expression that seemed weirdly close to having a smile inside. "They were turned in as part of our investigation. By an anonymous source."
Sam smirked, but Sitwell pointedly ignored him and kept talking. "They're from a jewelry store in midtown. We followed up, of course, and according to the owner, Mr. Richards bought a bracelet identical to the one that Miss Salvadore claims broke during your altercation."
Sam leaned in. "By itself, it proves nothing. None of this contradicts Angel's testimony directly. But all together, it's starting to paint one hell of a picture."
"As far as you know, Ted," Sitwell interrupted, and Sam stopped talking. "Is there any connection between Mr. Richards and Miss Salvadore?"
"No," Teddy began, and then he stopped. How could they possibly? Nate wasn't a student or an instructor, but-
"But Nate was in and out of the department offices all the time last semester," he began again, slowly. Could Nate really hate him that much?
A memory rose up; the department hallway, Teddy's fists clenched, Nate's low hiss and the loathing in his eyes turning his handsome face utterly sinister.
Don't get too comfortable here, Altman. It'll be over before you can blink.
Blood roared in Teddy's ears, the crashing of waves upon the shore, the white noise buzzing and threatening to deafen him.
"He threatened me," Teddy said, his voice distant in his own ears. "Back in November. He thought I was hitting on Bill. He told me not to get used to this place." Now Sitwell was writing things down, and Sam sat back in his chair with folded arms. "I didn't think it had anything to do with Angel," Ted told Sam, this time; "it was a week, maybe, before she came to my office. You don't think-"
Sam frowned. "I don't know what to think, kid, except that you have quite the knack for getting yourself on the wrong side of some interesting people."
Sitwell covered both sides of the page in his little notebook before he capped his pen abruptly and stood, tugging his black suit jacket back into position. "Thanks for your time, Ted, Sam." He glanced at his watch. "I have to be somewhere now, but we've arranged a meeting with Miss Salvadore and her lawyers for Monday afternoon at two. You'll make yourself available?"
Teddy nodded, oblivious to his actual schedule. "Yeah. I'll be there."
Because if they could prove any of it, if Angel didn't deny it, if Nate really had set wheels in motion to screw up his life because of a rivalry that hadn't turned out to be that much of a fiction after all-
God, Billy. How was he going to begin to explain any of this to Billy?
"Good," Sitwell's response was brisk, but the nod he gave to Teddy was as friendly as he had ever been. "We'll see you then."
oooOooo
Ted Altman: Was that all real?
Tom Shepherd: I only report the news, I don't make it.
Ted Altman: Thank you. However you did it, I don't care. Just… thank you.
Tom Shepherd: You owe me.
Ted Altman: Am I going to regret this?
Tom Shepherd: Probably. Just keep in mind how easy it would be for me to turn my powers to evil.
Ted Altman: You are the devil.
Tom Shepherd: Never forget it.
Ted Altman: How about Bill and I take you and Darcy out for dinner next weekend? Partial payback?
Tom Shepherd: I'll get back to you.
oooOooo
The rest of the week passed in a haze of stress and panic. Nightmares dogged his sleep, and he relied on far too much coffee to help him make it through the days. The weekend was a little better, if only because he was able to spend at least some of it hiding in bed with Billy.
Billy had built a nest of blankets for the two of them, and brought their laptops to bed. Teddy had spent Saturday morning in between book chapter edits wrapped around Billy, arms around his hips, and lips tracing easy paths along his bare skin. Billy spent the time furiously working on journal papers, the flustered tick-tack of his typing breaking occasionally so that he could push his glasses back up his nose, or comb his fingers absently through Teddy's hair, or set everything aside for a quick meal. Or a slow blow job.
There was a great deal to be said for Chinese delivery and endorphins as stress-reduction agents.
He couldn't let himself think about the desperate importance of the stakes; about everything that he was going to lose if the meeting on Monday didn't go his way. He had to soak Billy in now, get him under his skin and incorporate him into every pore. If he was going to be uprooted again, lose all this again, start over in someplace new and cold and strange…
At least he would have these memories to cling to.
oooOooo
Monday morning was a total loss.
Kitty took over his seminar without batting an eye, and Teddy chewed off about half of his thumbnail watching the class discussion from the back corner of the room. Closed in his office with less than half an hour to go, he just about jumped out of his skin when the door opened. Billy. Thank god.
"Hey, you," Billy opened, and Teddy put the book he was leafing through back on his shelf. He crossed the tiny office space in two strides, grabbing Billy around the waist and pulling him into his arms.
They stood like that for a while, Billy's arms slipping around Teddy's waist and squeezing him tightly in return.
"So I guess that answers my question about how you're feeling." Billy's voice was muffled in Teddy's shirt, and Teddy let go just enough for him to pull back and breathe. Teddy tipped his head down and rested his forehead against Billy's, and just… breathed him in.
He smelled like citrus – not his aftershave at all, Teddy had eventually discovered, but some fancy soap that he claimed helped him wake up in the mornings. And there was the faint hint of coffee, and that heady scent just inside the collar of his shirt that was entirely him and utterly perfect, and-
"When you're done sniffing me," Billy's voice was light, but he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Teddy's jaw. "I-" And his voice broke a little. "I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am. If this was Nate all along, then this is all my fault; for not breaking it off with him sooner, for bringing him into your life."
"Hey," Teddy kissed Billy soundly; definitely the best and fastest way to get him to stop talking. "Hey," he repeated, after he let go. He settled his hands on Billy's hips and leaned in to press their foreheads together again. The touch grounded him; they were here, and real, and together and safe. "It's not your fault, alright? Nothing that he ever did or said is in any way your fault. Normal people talk things out, or walk away. They don't enact weird convoluted revenge plots against the 'other man.' This is real life, not a Bette Midler movie."
"First Wives Club was awesome, and I won't hear a word said against it," Billy replied, a small smile replacing the despair that had been there a moment before.
They stood there together, their breath mingling in the space between their bodies. A desperate pang surged up inside and Teddy closed his eyes against it. He needed to breathe but his heart was racing; he needed to say it, but his tongue was thick and heavy in his mouth. "Billy," he started, and Billy's fingers closed snug against his waist in response.
He could do this. He could. Now or never.
"Whatever happens next," Teddy continued. Then there was nothing else to put in between, and he was past the point of taking it back and pretending that was all he'd meant to say. "I love you." Teddy almost choked on the words but he got them out, left them hanging in the air.
Now he knew, whatever he wanted to do with it. Teddy had stripped himself, bare and vulnerable, and Billy held all the power between them.
"Teddy-" Billy surged up into his arms and kissed him and he wasn't saying it back, but it wasn't rejection or scorn, either. He could live with that. Billy probably needed time; it had only been four months and Teddy had jumped the gun, but –
Billy tucked his face into the crook of Teddy's shoulder and held him close. Teddy let out a shaking breath. Why was it so hard? This was the man he loved; there wasn't much difference between loving and saying that you loved.
Except that it was - all the difference in the world.
Billy lifted his head and his eyes were squeezed closed. "You know, right?" He murmured, his voice broken and shaky.
Oh. Oh god. Yes.
"It would still be nice to hear it," Teddy tried, hope flaring bright and brilliant, a nova in his chest.
Billy hesitated. "It's funny," he started, meeting Teddy's eyes again for the first time since he'd changed everything. "It's just words. But saying it out loud makes it real, and when something's real it can get broken."
Teddy stroked his thumbs up and down over Billy's waist, finding the edge of his shirt and tucking in underneath, just to brush his fingertips against the warm skin there. "Or it can be protected. But it's okay; you don't have to."
He wanted it more than anything, but sometimes that wasn't enough.
"I want to. I love you." And more than Billy's voice was shaking. Teddy pulled him in again, and held him close.
No matter what was coming, he had this moment, and he had Billy, warm and real and in his arms. He could face down a dozen armies just for this, and come out victorious. Teddy felt his eyes prickle sharply in the corners, and he squeezed them closed. "I've got you," he murmured, his breath hot against Billy's ear.
Billy let out a sigh that almost sounded like half of a sob, or a quiet laugh, and he curled in to Teddy's arms, the missing piece of his puzzle. "I know."
The next knock at the door was Sam, and Teddy let Billy go extremely reluctantly, and only when Sam coughed. "Time to go, Ted. Dr. Kaplan," Sam nodded at Billy, a faint look of amusement on his face before he got serious again.
"It'll be fine, Teddy," Billy promised, and squeezed his hand one last time. "I'll be here when you're done."
And that was a promise that he could carry with him.
Teddy nodded. He slung his coat over his shoulders and grabbed his bag with a heavy heart. He nodded at Sam. "I'm ready. Let's go."