Months passed. Summer turned into fall. The leaves turned red. Quinn turned indifferent. She brought Lily into the doctor's when her fever was running high and met Matt. He asked her out again – no hard feelings there. They ended up making out in his car. Quinn liked him. He was secure and laughed at her jokes. The house seemed less empty when he was there so after only two months, she asked him to move in. He wasn't hard to convince. And the tour still went on. Quinn tried not to care, but she read every review online. Seattle and Dallas and LA, always good reviews. And Puck had got a record deal. Good for him. He was living his dream. And she was living hers.

New Years Eve came. Quinn and Matt decided to celebrate it with Carole, inviting Tina, Luke and some of their friends. It was low-key and grown up. Quinn sipped her wine, Matt holding his arm around her.

"I love New Years" he said, smiling.

"Why?" she asked.

"New starts! New hopes!" he said.

She smiled.

"Whatever."
"No, I'm serious. You had a bad year, Quinn. But now it's a new one. New starts. New hope."

She smiled again. If only it was that easy. He kissed her on her cheek, it was all he ever did in public. He was discreet and he was never too drunk or embarrassed her. Her mother would love him.

"Nothing ever goes away" she said.

"No" he agreed. "But it won't hurt as much."

She nodded. Maybe he was right. He was a doctor after all, he would know about wounds.

"All I know" he continued. "is that I love you, Quinn. And I love Lily. And I think we could build something really good from that."

She took his hand, it was sturdy, something to hold on to.

"I love you too" she whispered

And just like that, it was a new year.

Puck spent New Year's Eve at a big party in LA. The music was loud and the drinks free and the girls blonde. He had arrived with the band, but now he couldn't find any of them. He just strolled around in the huge house, drinking drink after drink. Girls smiled at him, but he didn't like the look of them. They looked the gold digging whores and he wasn't drunk enough to not be bothered by that. Instead he picked up his phone and dialed Quinn's number. He didn't know why. He hadn't spoken to her since that morning that she had thrown him out. Nothing. Lily could be dead for all that he knew.

"Hello" he heard someone answer.

It wasn't Quinn. He recognized the voice, but couldn't place it.

"Hello?" the man repeated.

Puck cleared his throat, trying to appear sober.
"Hi, I'm calling for Quinn" he said.

"She's asleep" the man said. "It's two in the morning."

Annoyance dripped from every word.

"I know, but I just wanted to wish her a happy new year" Puck said feebly.

"I'll pass it along" the man said huffily. "Who is this?"

Why was this guy answering Quinn's phone while she slept? Puck closed his eyes for a second.

"You're Matt, right?" he asked.

"Yeah" the man answered. "But who are you?"

"You two got back together then?"

"Who is this?"

Quinn had probably deleted his number from his phone.

"Do you sleep over often or is this a new years- treat?" Puck asked.

"I'm sorry, what are you talking about? I live here. Who are you?"

And then Puck got it. They hadn't just gotten back together. They lived together. In Finn and Rachel's house. Together.

"I'm no one" he said.

And he hung up. He spent the rest of the night in bed with a blonde, aspiring actress called Cindy. The next day, he puked for six hours.

"Good morning, Beautiful" Matt whispered in her ear.

Quinn opened her eyes. It was the first of January and Matt had made her breakfast in bed.

"Oh, you didn't have to" she smiled, kissing his cheek.

"Sure, I did."

She sat up, taking a sip of juice.

"You got a call last night" Matt began. "I answered it."

"Oh" Quinn said, focusing on the bacon on her plate.

"I think it was Puck calling."

She dropped the piece of meat onto the plate again.

"Oh" she repeated with forced indifference.

"He sounded drunk."

"Not a big surprise."

"He wanted to wish you a Happy New Year."

Quinn raised her eyebrows, picking up the bacon again. Matt had slightly over-cooked it.

"I sort of told him I live here. I hope that's okay."

Quinn swallowed.

"Of course it is" she said, beaming. "You do live here."

"He sounded upset."

She shrugged, smiling at Matt.

"He was probably just really, really drunk."

Matt nodded.

"Yeah. Probably."

"Their last concert is tonight" Carole said. "In New York."

Quinn looked away, keeping an eye on Lily who was sprinting around. Of course she knew that Puck's last concert was tonight.

"I think you should go" Carole continued.

"No."

"Quinn…"

"I just don't want to."

Carole took her hand.

"Quinn. You can't hate him forever."

"I don't hate him."

"I know you don't, but you can't be mad at him forever either."

Quinn smiled sadly.

"Why not?"

"Because it's silly!"

Quinn raised her eyebrows and frowned.

"It's silly because both of us have lost so many people, Quinn. And we would do anything to have them back. We should take care of those we have" Carole hurried to say.

Quinn exhaled. She felt herself getting angry. So this was all her fault?

"So you think he did the right thing? Just leaving me and Lily to go off and be rock star."

"No, it was foolish. But he knows that and he regrets it. I know, I hear it in his voice every time I speak to him" Carole said soothing.

"I can't just forgive him."

"Why not?"

Quinn looked away again. Lily was singing softly to herself.

"Because he broke my heart."

It was as easy as that.

"I'm not saying that you have to get back together, I know that you have Matt. But you share a kid, actually two kids, you have to get along. Lily is the one getting hurt if you resent him forever."

Quinn sighed. Lily was her soft spot.

"It's sold out anyway" she said. "The concert, I mean."

"Luckily, I have two tickets" Carole smiled. "Why don't you bring Tina?"

Quinn shook her head.

"No, I'm bringing Matt."

Carole sighed.

"Fine, you do that. But don't shove him in Puck's face, okay? Be nice."

Quinn smiled.

"I'm always nice."

It was the last concert, and then Puck could go home, not the hotel, home. He could sleep late and eat pizza and be alone. He longed to be alone. That was he thought about as he entered the stage. This was a small venue, maybe 200 people. Santana wanted to close small, for whatever reason. Maybe because her voice was getting more hoarse for each day.

"Hi!" he said into the microphone.

People screamed and applauded and he took a good look around. He was looking for Carole, she had asked for two tickets at the far left. But he couldn't see her.

"This is our last show" he continued. "And I hope, our best!"

The crowd cheered again. And that was when he saw her, sitting on Carole's seats. Quinn. She had her arms crossed and a guy had his arms around her. Matt. He was here too.

"You know" Puck went on. "I once made a promise with my band mates to never do covers. Ever. It's like a death sin to us."

The crowd applauded, Puck smiled.

"But I'm going the break the vow now, because there is this song I really want to sing to someone. I know it's one of her favorites. Have any of you ever heard of Mumford and Sons?"

He saw Quinn hide her face in her hands. He just smiled. If she wasn't going to answer his phone calls, what was he going to do?

"So if Paul would be nice enough to back me up, we can begin."

Paul came out, looking confused. Puck whispered the song title in his ear and strummed a chord.

"This one is called White Blank Page."

Can you lie next to her and give her your heart, your heart as well as your body? And can you lie next to her and confess your love, your love?
Puck didn't stop looking at her. She still had her head in her hands but Matt had removed his arm. Puck couldn't see his face, but his body posture screamed anger.

You did not think when you sent me to the brink, the brink
You desired my attention but denied my affections, affections
But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart.
He thought of the times they had listened to this song, in his car, when she pregnant. She had sung along in her sweet voice and replayed it over and over. He had learned to play it, just for her. It was one of those songs he couldn't listen to anymore, because it hurt too much.

But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart.

"Thank you" he said into his microphone and left the stage.

He was done with this tour.

He waited for her outside. They came together, huddled against the cold.

"Hey" he said.

"I can't believe you did that" she spat at him.

"You love that song" he protested.

She brushed passed him. Matt just stood there.

"That wasn't cool, dude" he said.

Puck snorted.

"Dude? Really?"

"She doesn't want you."

"She does."

"No, please back off."

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm asking her to marry me."

Puck snorted again.

"That's your reason?"

"Fine" Matt said. "If you love her, let her be happy. She's happy with me."

And then he left too.

"Hey, Lil" he whispered against the warmth of Lily's hair.

He hadn't seen her in four months. She had grown so much. He hadn't realized how much he had missed her until he held her in his arms. His daughter. His kid.

"You can have her all weekend too" Quinn said.

"Yeah, you and Matt are going on some trip, I heard."

"Yeah."

He looked up at her. Her arms her crossed again, her lips pursed.

"He's going to ask you to marry him" he blurted out.

"What?"

"He told me."

"Shut up."

She turned to go inside. It was freezing outside.

"Can you tell him to shut up?" he asked.

She snorted.

"What?"

"Can you be mad at him?"

"I have nothing to be mad about" she snapped.

"I've seen you with boys, Quinn. You play the part of the perfect girlfriend in front of them. You never complain and never cry and always look stunning. And then, your surface crack because you can't act forever and then, it ends."

"Shut up" she croaked.

He could see in face that she was pissed at him. That she wanted to smack this face.

"You know it's true" he said.

"No, it's not."

"Does he even know you, Quinn?" Puck asked. "Does he know how you lock yourself in the bathroom to cry because you hate feeling vulnerable? Does he know that you can't sleep at night unless all your shoes at neat in order? Does he know you can go from sweet to angry in a second?"

She looked away from him. Her hair was blowing in the wind, shielding her face.

"Love isn't about that" she whispered.

"Yes, it is. Love is knowing all those things and loving you despite all that."

"What do know about love, Puck?" she asked, shaking her head.

"A lot" he said. "Considering that I have loved you for 12 years."

"You haven't. If you loved you wouldn't have left me."

He stepped closer to her, she backed away.

"I'm sorry. I made a mistake, but it doesn't mean that I don't love you."

She shook her head. He could see that she was on the verge of tears.

"Can't I just have one day?" he asked quietly. "Before you go to Connecticut with Matt and get engaged?"

"No."

"Please."

"No."

She turned and began to walk back to the house.

"12 years, Q" he shouted after her. "Don't a deserve one day?"

She hesitated on the porch.

"Fine. One day."

…