Warning: a very small thought on suicide.

"ICE CREAM TRUCK!"

Leo slapped his hand over his forehead. He really, really needed to talk to Mikey about stealth.

Although he could sense that the town was completely abandoned, he didn't want to risk the team to encounter the infected again, at least not until they reached the radio tower. Henry said he was okay but he could tell the man was beyond tired since they traveled through the sewers entire night. Sam looked worn out but he kept walking, following his brother. Leo himself was also tired of staying alerted the whole time. Until now he had still scanned the surroundings for the enemy.

The town area was less chaos compared to New York city. There were fewer cars on the street, and most of the houses were intact. No sight of human or infected so far. He raked his hand across his face. Staying cautious all the time definitely consumed his energy. On the other hand, Mikey seemed to have infinite stamina and had been bouncing around the street, moving to look closer at the tree he'd never seen before or inspecting an ice cream truck with flat tire.

"Mikey, remember your training. We're in the enemy territory, so we must be careful." Leo chided exhaustingly. "You don't want those things coming to us again, right?"

"Okay..." He looked down for a moment. Just a moment. Because Mikey quickly came up with an idea. "But can I open it? Maybe there's some ice cream left."

Sam overheard them and decided to join in. "What's ice cream?"

"You don't know it? I'll show it to you!" Mikey stuck out his tongue from the corner of his mouth, planting his left foot on the truck and right foot firm on the ground. Then he pulled a door open. Fortunately, the whole process caused a little noise.

"Mikey!" He frowned at little brother who was now ransacking for desired sweet. Leo was pretty sure freezer cases were broken long time ago. Whatever in that box must be something worse than melting ice cream.

"Come on… We've got to try." Mikey took the empty box into his arm. Of course, there was no ice cream in it and the box had some obvious black spots on it. "Well, I've eaten algae before, how harmful is a little mold."

At that statement, Sam was watching him with wide eyes. But Mikey ignored him. He was about to taste long lost ice cream in the box when Leo rescue it from his embrace.

"No! Don't lick that! It's been here for two decades, even your iron stomach can't take it. I don't want any of us to get sick because we don't have Donnie here."

He originally brought up Donnie just to make Mikey listen to him, but part of him felt that he needed to show that he was no longer holding a grudge. Mikey was actually sober at their brother's name. He stared at Leo for some time, blinking. Before he came up with another excuse. "Okayyyy… But is it okay to eat canned food?"

The frown on Leo's face deepened. "Well, at least it's sterile."

Good ninja knew when they cannot win the fight, so Mikey sighed defeatedly and climbed out of the truck. "Ugh… I want real foods. I'm starving..."

"Sorry, Sam. I can't show you what ice cream looks like. It's very cold and sweet. Hmm..." Mikey placed his hand on Sam's shoulder, hanging his head sadly. He was too distracted to see the shock that still remained on the boy's face. "I miss Ice cream Kitty..."

Leo threw the box away carelessly and followed his brother. Sam decided to walk beside him and whispered. "Is he okay?"

"Well, yeah. I guess it reminds him of our mutant cat," He tilted his head to the ice cream truck, feeling a bit sad when he thought about home.

Suddenly, Mikey discovered a new thing to lift up his spirit. He ran after small wild dogs that playing in the middle of the road and said happily.

"PUPPIES!"

"...or not," Leo mumbled.

"His voice is loud..." Sam couldn't help but comment.

"That's Mikey for you."

"Henry said if I make loud noise I'll be killed." Sam continued while looking at Mikey chasing two wild dogs, Henry followed him and told him to be careful. "How come you never scold him for doing stupid things?"

"Actually, I did, like, on a regular basis," Leo said with tired voice.

"Not in the way Henry scolded me."

Leo didn't know how to reply that. He heard what Henry said back when they were stuck in maintenance room but decided not to comment about it. Tears began to form in the boy's eyes. Leo didn't have to ask why; Sam was back into the rough words from Henry in the maintenance room again.

Leo looked at the end of the street where Mikey stood and watched the dogs behind the fences. Henry stood behind him.

"Sam," Leo grabbed the boy, but Sam refused to meet eyes. "Sam, look at me."

Sam lifted his head slowly, meeting the round blue eyes. "He said that because he cares about you. I can tell you there're a hundred ways for big brothers to show their love. Come on, Henry will think I make you cry. He's going to punch me for real."

Despite tears flowing, the boy laughed. "Oh yeah, he will. But it was fun to see him get very angry, you know."

Leo grinned. "Now you make me scared of him."

"You don't have to be, you can fight back!"

"Oh, I don't know. From the past experience, big brother can be really scary."

"Hey, what're you two doing?"

Henry called them from the stone steps, trying to see what they were doing. From his angle, he couldn't see Sam wiping the tears from his face.

"Nothing." Sam and he answered back simultaneously.

"O...kay?" Henry raised his eyes brow but didn't press the issue. "Let's check that house for a sec."

They followed Henry to the next area. The street was blocked and they had to go through the house to find the path. Sometimes Henry entered the house to find bullets or supplies. Leo joined him and noticed that there were some traces indicating humans were here not long ago, like alcohol bottles on the table. He heightened his sense for any movement, but it seemed that this place was clear.

But something was not right, he could feel only three presences including himself. He ran to the outside and found no one in the street. The wild dogs were gone, and so was Mikey. It was the first time he felt panicked. "Where's Mikey?"

Then all of a sudden girly scream pierced through the area, conveniently answering his question.

(Ten minutes earlier...)

A moment ago he was trying to play with the dogs, but when they saw him they ran away. So he did his best to follow them and stopped only when Henry told him not to go further. He looked through the fences to see the wild dogs barking playfully at each other before disappearing behind the woods.

The corner of his mouth was turned upwards at the scenery. It was a nice break after the big fight, and he was going to savor every serene moment. He turned back to Leo but stopped halfway when he saw his brother holding Sam's shoulders. They seemed to have an earnest conversation so he just stared at them. But the random thought struck him.

Why is Leo holding Sam like that? We're out of danger now.

He felt it again. The dark mood he had before entering the sewers last night, and the craving of attentions were back again. Mikey averted his gaze from them and pouted.

He felt they treated him as if he wasn't little one anymore. Although he was ninja so he was capable of taking care of himself, he wanted to remind them that Sam wasn't only one little brother around here.

He stomped off, thinking if he didn't see them together he would cool down. He didn't know why he acted likes this. He hated it, but he couldn't help it. He was already inside one of abandoned houses when he realized something.

Just like when he unintentionally asked for Donnie to be here, he also secretly sought for Leo's attention.

They had human friends before, like Casey and April, but it felt like they were an extension of their family. When they came into their lives, he didn't feel like they were trying to replace someone.

Here, with Leo holding Sam, it felt like he was being replaced. The boy around his age who had protective big brother just like him was a reflection of himself. Whenever he saw the boy with Leo, he thought Sam fit perfectly in his position.

At first, he felt numb.

Conflicted, too. He knew Leo was just being Leo, trying to lift up the boy's mood after the incident in the sewers. He also knew that Leo wouldn't stop caring. His big brother never stopped caring because he believed there were still some good people out there. Despite the fact that they were hurt by humans, people like April or Casey made it all worth it.

But he also felt sad for no reason. He should be glad that Leo took a role to take care of their human friend, but he couldn't bring himself to be happy about it. He knew that he didn't hate Sam. The boy was considered the first little brother who shared the same position as him, and he liked playing with him.

And then he felt depressed even more. Mikey thought he was terrible sibling who was jealous for no reason. Why couldn't his brain think rationally about it? Sam needed Leo more than him.

But he already has Henry. Why should he need Leo?

Well, of course he wants Leo. Henry's grown up and he won't understand Sam very well. He's so strict.

Oh, your beloved, kind big brother is what he needs. You know, Sam doesn't need you as well.

I'm not Leo, okay!? I can't take care of anyone. Shell, sometimes I even suck at taking care of myself. It's the truth. No one wants me...

Mikey was having an argument within his own mind again, but this time he felt he was losing. It was irritated since he already won against his ankle, which was now throbbing slightly from the long walk. He didn't realize which house he entered anymore. He just wanted to cool off. Mikey unconsciously got to the second floor and entered one of the rooms. He found out later that it was a bathroom.

When he glanced around, he found two bodies in a bloody bathtub. It appeared to be filled with blood and had two bodies in it. The sticky red liquid remained inside the tub. The disgusting smell hit him like a truck and caused a headache instantly. The unexpected sight combined with his own distress inside his head made him scream. Screamed because of fear, shock, or just for attention he didn't know, but he had to let it out.

He would have applauded at Leo's light year speed. A second later someone was pulling him back, shielding him from the bathtub. One katana already unsheathed and ready to attack, before Leo lowered it when he saw no physical threats.

Mikey was shaking behind his big brother's shell, keeping his gaze on the broken tiles on the floor. His lips were trembling when his brain finally registered what he had seen. It wasn't normal death. They intended to kill themselves together. This was worse than seeing human got killed in the city. They gave up; that thought alone made him feel sick.

"Mikey..." Leo's voice was full of concerns, knowing he wouldn't take it very well.

"That's the easy way out."

That was his first thought. He realized he said out loud.

Leo quirked his eye ridge and shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Whatever." He pretended not to care, that seeing two people suicided didn't disturb him at all. His mind still derailed from previous thoughts. Now he also had a picture of dead people stuck in his head. His head was going to explode soon.

"This dimension is giving me the whole year of insomnia. I probably won't sleep for weeks." Mikey gave a bitter laugh, still not meeting his brother's eyes. "Well, on the bright side, I can watch all horror movies when I'm back home."

He felt Leo shifted and lowered himself behind him, touching his leg. Mikey stiffened as three-fingered hand contacted his ankle. "Umm, bro?"

"Your ankle is swollen. Why didn't you tell me about it?"

He was glad that he turned his back to Leo because he didn't want to deal with discomfort he would get from Leo's gaze. He didn't want to add more stress to his poor brain right now.

"But it's okay. I don't feel it… Ow!" Mikey grumbled. "Okay, I jumped and ran too many times in the sewers so it got worse."

Leo opened his mouth to say something but Mikey interrupted him, waving his hands rapidly.

"No, no, nuh-uh! You can't tell me to stay behind. We only have two turtles here. And, and… err- I still have to watch your back!"

Yeah, well, you're doing a pretty good job since all you did was just seeking for attention.

Mikey mentally slapped himself. He would have a debate with his mind later.

Leo blinked and chuckled, then he guided him out of the bathroom. "I wasn't going to say that. I just want to wrap it."

Oh.

He simply nodded, embarrassed. The next room was the old bedroom with a desk and battered computer. A plain sight of large, old CRT monitor brought him back to Donnie's lab which made him calm down a bit. Even now he had clung on the thought of his best buddy rather than big brother in front of him. Mikey felt like a terrible brother, so he sat down obediently. Leo slid his backpack off his shoulder onto the floor and brought up a roll of bandages.

While watching Leo doing his work, he murmured to himself.

"...You should go back to Sam."

"Huh?" Leo's head lifted up, not catching his words.

"Nothing!"

Leo stared at him for a moment as if to analyze his expression. Mikey tried the best to offer a reassuring smile but failed. When Leo thought he wouldn't get direct answer from him, he sighed. "Just don't use your left foot too much and you'll be fine. Tomorrow I'll remove stitches for you."

Right. If we reach the radio tower without running into clickers, which is impossible I think, then I'll heal.

"Everything's okay?" the pair of human walked to the door. Henry put his hand on his waist, looked a bit concern. Sam was right behind him, craning his neck to see what happened in the room.

"Yes. It's nothing." Leo answered, swinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"You scared us for a second. We're lucky that there's no one in this area."

Although Henry said with low, normal tone, something about being adult making him feel like he was getting a lecture. Mikey gulped inaudibly.

"I'm sorry… it won't happen again."

Leo's gaze was currently drilling the back of his neck, but he refused to turn back to him. Of course, Leo knew something wrong with him, he just didn't ready to talk about it. Sam looked at him while he walked out and went downstair. The boy followed him to the living room.

"Hey, Mike? You wanna play darts? I found it here."

Sam called out for him, but Mikey pretended he didn't hear the boy. He just wanted to be alone for a while. Heh, now he was grumpy Mikey. This was wrong, Michelangelo shouldn't be grumpy at all. It wasn't one of his fortes.

But I can't help it, He thought sadly. I don't want to be like this but I can't help myself.

"What are you doing?" Leo's voice followed him from behind. Oh great. He wanted to shrink away and hide, leaving Leo and Sam in the room.

"Hey, I remember you throwing small metal star when we're in the sewers. Is it similar to a dart?"

"Well, not really. But the concept is the same."

When Leo came into the room, Sam seemed to forget about him. Both of them forgot about him and it hurt. He knew he was to blame when he didn't answer the boy, but it still hurt anyway. He looked towards Henry who was waiting outside the room, eyeing his own brother. The man seemed to be very protective of Sam even if they were having fun.

He flinched when Leo tapped his shoulder.

"You said you have the best aim" His voice was soft, oblivious to jealousy in his head. He placed a dart on his palm and took him to the position opposite to the dart board. "Come on, let's try."

"Err… Okay." Mikey said reluctantly after seeing Sam's smile. Leo was trying to cheer him up by bringing him back to play with the boy. Perhaps Leo thought he was depressed because of the bodies on the second floor.

He wanted to scream at him and tell him it wasn't, but he couldn't do it. To venting out some of his disturbance, He threw the dart as hard as he could, not caring where it went.

The dart stuck deep in the wall, not even close to the board at all. Leo blinked, not believing what he saw.

"Whoops. I think today my aim is a little off." Mikey smiled sheepishly.

Leo turned to look at him, his expression hardened because he didn't believe the king of water balloons would fail to aim the simple dart. "Are you okay?"

"Of course!" He said a little too fast, and escaped from the room before his brother could ask any question. Leo and Sam looked at each other, confused.

"Is he really okay?"

Sam asked quietly after they left the house. Henry was leading them back on the street, Mikey stayed beside with him.

"I don't know. He's always afraid of dead people. That's one thing I can't help him. This place is full of dead people, some can walk and some cannot." Leo sighed.

"Oh..."

They were walking together. Sam occasionally glanced at his own big brother and Leo, then he reached out to hold Leo's hand. Leo was a little surprised but then he gave a smile.

"Henry said I'm too old to hold his hand. But I saw you did it. Maybe you should do it with him again."

Leo smiled at that thought.

"Yeah, it'll surely help. Mikey's kind of special. He's still far from… a normal teenager, to say at least."

"I think Mike is really lucky to have you."

He was baffled at random statement. "Umm, thanks?"

"I don't know how you do it, but you're nice big brother."

Leo was quiet for a moment, his gaze shifting between the man and Mikey. Then he asked Sam back.

"Can you guess my first thought when I arrived at this world?"

"...I don't know." The boy didn't seem to interest in the topic, or perhaps he honestly didn't have an answer.

"I was afraid I couldn't protect my brother. This world… is really different from ours. One mistake and we could die." Leo clenched his fist, closing his eyes for a short period, clearing his mind. Then he turned to look at Sam. "I think Henry feels the same way."

Sam was deep in thought. "Maybe you're right. You know, this is my first time out of quarantine zone. When we're in Hartford zone, we have foods and our own room. There're no infected or hunters in the area. It's actually peaceful life, no need to run or hide." He bit his bottom lip. "Henry taught me how to use gun though, he said it's the most important thing I have to know."

"When did you learn to use a gun?"

"Ten." Sam shrugged. "I shoot only when necessary. Still have to work on my aim."

Leo's gaze lingered on the boy for a moment. He learned how to use weapons but he never killed. The idea about this boy younger than him already killed someone made him feel uneasy.

But it's normal thing in this world, He thought. A trait that we need to blend in eventually.

If Henry ever wondered why Mikey was walking with him instead of Sam, he hadn't shown it, which made the turtle grateful. He just wanted to stay away from both of them, thinking what the shell was wrong with him. Mikey convinced himself that he didn't hate them, so what? What should he do to get rid of this feeling?

Perhaps the man was a mind reader because he tilted his head and asked him out of the blue.

"What's the matter? You seem to be in the bad mood."

Mikey pursed his lips. It was nice to talk to someone other than two certain people in his mind, so he gave in.

"I don't know how to explain it. I just-I don't want to see them talking."

He hoped Henry didn't get offended, he was sure he didn't hate Sam. The good thing about being adult was to read through the expression. After Mikey finished, Henry glanced at him and chortled, shaking his head.

"Wow, don't tell me you're jealous."

"Am not!" Mikey countered a little too loud, earning a glare from the older man, but he wasn't affected by it. He doubted Henry's wrath was anywhere near Raph's, so he continued. "Ahh! I understand now why Leo was soooo angry with me when I mentioned Donnie."

Mikey hid his face in his hands. He felt like he was jealous of their new sibling.

The realization was unwelcome, but he was glad that now he knew about it. This feeling was uninvited, but it helped him learning the source of his problem. He didn't want Donnie to be here, he just missed him. The feeling of not being good enough was back, just like Leo told him the other night, Mikey felt he wasn't good enough for him.

He wondered why Henry didn't feel the same way. Perhaps he was grown up and thought for the best of his little brother's happiness, so he didn't mind when Sam being around Leo all the time.

The idea of growing up gave him an alarming sense. He hadn't thought about it before because they just got everything back. Of course, they were on the journey, but in the end they were back to the lair as if nothing changed. Everything was back to its place so there was no need for him to change. He thought Leo had changed slightly. Was it because Leo grew up? But he was still the big brother Mikey knew.

...Maybe Leo did grow up as he shared his kindness with people around him, not only the family members. But Michelangelo was still a goofy ball like he was several years ago. Come to think of it, he hadn't changed at all. His perspective of the world was the same. He wasn't sure if he should step up to next level, becoming adult and all that jazz. But he recalled the time he reasoned with him several nights ago Leo seemed to be proud of him. So maybe he should grow up, like his big brother?

But I don't want to, He thought. What will Raph and Donnie say if we get back home with two Leos instead of Leo and me? That's ridiculous! I don't want to be Leo, but I don't know how to grow up. If I'm grown up, I can get rid of childish feeling like jealousy. But I don't want to… The idea of sharing was new. Sharing his brother, is that even possible?

...Ow, my head hurts from thinking too much.

Henry must have looked at him for a long time because he could read all of his thoughts and made final, correct conclusion. "Wow, you've never met other children in the same age?"

"Umm, no, I think. There's only four of us." Mikey counted the number using his fingers, which required two hands because he didn't have enough on one hand.

"We also have April and Casey, but April is a girl and Casey always goes with Raph." His face brightened when he thought about friends. "I play with Leatherhead sometimes, but he's much older than me."

"So you mean you have three brothers? And three pals?"

"Yeah..." He looked down at the ground and kicked a small rock at his feet. "Raph and Donnie are lucky. They didn't fall into the portal like us. They're safe back home."

"Alright. So you've never played with other children much." Henry assumed, which was again correct. Their group would always consider a small one as long as he could count all his friends with two turtle hands. "You know, Sam has a lot of friends back in the quarantined zone. They hang out all the time."

"And you're not jealous?" It seemed like a stupid question to ask the adult, but he wanted to know, no, hear from big brother.

"Why should I? They're having fun together. At the end of the day, he'll come back to me." Henry said dismissively. "And the most important thing is he actually makes the boy smiles"

He pouted. Great. Now Henry was on their side.

Henry pulled him close like he did back in the sewers and laughed. "Come on, Mike, don't be like that. I love his smile. If Leo can help him, I don't see why I should intervene. Besides, do you think he will like Sam more than you?"

Oh… that's what I thought too. Is Henry telepathic?

"Well… Sam is like an ideal little brother. I mean, he listens to Leo. I sorta ignore him most of the time. And I always screw up everything..." His hands were fidgeting and his eyes fixed on the ground.

Henry patted his bald head. "You're his brother. He loves you anyway."

Now that he heard it, the words were like an anchor to keep him believing it, not swaying by random jealous thoughts. So this is the idea about sharing brother? Like sharing toys to play together? Because, in the end, they'll return toys back to me… Well, I can live with that. His rounded blue eyes looked back at the man, smiling.

He'll return to me...

"Yeah..."

"No offense but even if he wants to take Sam, I'd never allow it, never." Henry continued jokingly before changing to serious tone. "I'm grateful that you guys saved our lives more than once, and I kinda like you two. It's difficult to find good companions, you know, even more rare to find talking turtles too."

Mikey laughed, clinging to the man. Henry wasn't strict as he thought before. He was kind, funny too, like normal big brother, like Leo. "Wow, being adult like you is awesome. You always know the right thing to say at the right time."

"Nah. It has nothing to do with being adult or a kid. If you love them you will be happy for them."

They continued talking about other things, mostly about his brothers back home. He told him a lot about Donnie's stuff and Raph's bad temper. But what made the man surprised was that his father wasn't a turtle like the rest of them, he was a rat.

Time passed, and now they could clearly see the tower behind a few houses. Henry was walking down the stone stair with Mikey following closely.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you not like us playing?" He said timidly, holding a ball from his backpack. "'Cause I found another football. Can I play with Sam?"

Henry looked over his shoulder, remembering the episode in the sewers. "I don't have a problem with it. I just mind about where you play it."

"Can we play when we reach the tower?"

The man sighed, knowing he couldn't win. After all, he had seen Mikey arguing about ice cream with Leo before. "Okay, okay, fine."

Mikey practically beamed. "Yay! We'll have an indoor sport. Thanks!"

Big brothers are awesome! He thought while running back to Leo and Sam with the ball in his hands.

"Hey."

Leo smiled at him, Mikey grinned back.

"Hey yourself."

The bright blue eyes were no longer clouded by sadness. Mikey was certainly back to be himself, bouncing and excited about the football, so he decided to ask.

"So, how are you feeling?"

Mikey stopped right in front of him, a smile still plastered on his face.

"Great! Henry lets me play football with Sam too!"

"Heh. It's a good thing we found them, right? He's helping my little brother and I'm helping Sam."

Mikey paused, looking at his big brother. Leo was still oblivious about the whole Sam-is-better-little-brother-than-me thing, and he would keep it as a secret forever. Now he didn't have that feeling anymore. He knew he loved his brother, and he liked Sam too, so he was happy to have both of them.

"They're good people," Mikey said quietly. "I can't believe we still find them in this horrible dimension."

Before Leo could respond, Sam walked towards Mikey and asked him.

"Henry said you have something to show me?"

"Yes! This!" Mikey gave him a full view of dirty plastic football in his hands. Sam looked at it with wide eyes.

"Wow! Where did you find it?"

"From the play yard behind that house! I asked Henry already, we can play when we reach the radio tower! Have you tried indoor football before?"

Two boys were too excited to notice that Leo slipped off and walked back to Henry, who crossed his arms with a content smile on his face.

"Thank you, Henry. I neglected to see what troubled him, so I'm glad that you helped him."

The man shrugged. "I didn't do anything, actually. That kid figures it out himself."

"Still, I owe you."

Leo offered a bow to him. Henry just raised an eyebrow, not used to see such a gesture. He did, however, awkwardly bow his head back to him, thinking it appropriate.

"You take care of Sam for me, so we're even," Henry replied back, tilting his head. "Let's go. The radio tower is close. We have to reach it before sunset."

Mikey and Sam were still talking about how to play it. Warm feelings filled up their hearts at the sight of happy little brothers. Leo couldn't stop his smile. He heard Henry mumbled something.

"Well, there'll come a day when kids can just be kids again."

Author's note: I actually divided this chapter into two because it's too long (but I haven't finished the second part so please wait...). Now one of Mikey's issues is unlocked. Actually, I don't have a problem with new sibling lol. I remember I was always excited to meet new sibling. But I have met someone who was really jealous of their newborn brother/sister, so I decided to give it a try with Sam being a figurative sibling.

Note that the last sentence is from the game script.

I'm going to next trip this weekend, so hopefully I can stick to the Thursday update. Thanks for reading!