For You

Ok, I am sooo sorry for the really late update! It's just that school has been really demanding lately, what with Algebra eating me alive slowly, the frequent math quizzes every week and the math tests every two weeks, the big projects that I procrastinate on, me having to wake up too damned early after going to bed too late every morning and not being able to sleep in on weekends recently, my brother constantly bugging me, the endless studying, I've been thinking about the books I plan to write and drawing the characters, and finally the small break I was taking from typing cuz my brain shut off for awhile due to minor writer's block. I hope this kinda compensates for the late update, but just to cool down any bad blood between you all and myself, I'm trying to type up chapter 11 really quickly after this so I can give it too you soon. I'm just really sorry about this whole mess, but I'm an over-stressed and tired teenage girl that needs to fall asleep for a week or two…Anyway…

I'm glad to see most of you like chapter 9! It just, (sniffles and wipes away tears) It just warms me up inside to know tons of people are reading my story! I love you all so much! If it weren't for the wonderful reviews asking for me to go on, I probably wouldn't risk my life writing these stories. Anyhoo, not much to say in the Author's note… Maryham Khanoom, it tickles me pink that you noticed the change in my profile. But my tastes changed to put it simply. I'm just so glad you all still support this story like you do. FirstxKiss, I am very envious of you…And VERY IMPORTANT: I guess a few of you are thinking about where I stand on the whole cutting thing since three of my characters are apparently doing it. Well, jin of ice and all you other readers, it was just a faze I was going through, and I'll be focused on steering away from it now. Please rest assured I'm not entirely messed up in the head, heh. Sorry if I offended anyone with that or freaked them out or something, it was just something I was playing around with in my head. I, in no way—no matter what the circumstances—promote cutting. There's always a better way out of something than cutting. I just find it a very serious topic for discussion and it has a very tight clutch on many young, and old, minds.

Well, I just bored you all with an EXTREMELY long author's note, so let's get on with it.

Chapter 10 Silent Scream

Her heart couldn't stop pounding in fear, and her breaths came in fast, sharp gasps. She wanted to cry, but it wouldn't do any good. His hands roughly pulled the thin fabric of her clothes from her skin till milky white gleamed up at him in the moonlight. No matter what, she wouldn't open her eyes. She couldn't open her eyes. If she did, she'd see his eyes leering at her, her body that he was so carelessly going to break.

Hearing the sound of him taking off his own clothes was enough to make her retch. She may have been young, but she knew what was going to happen next, only it wasn't going to be that "special bond" two people make with each other when they love each other very much that her health teachers ranted on about in seventh grade.

Hands grabbed onto her upper arms and she made a bad mistake by accidentally opening her eyes. Her crystal blue eyes, filled with fear and terror locked onto the dark, lust filled eyes of the boy above her. The words she wanted to form wouldn't get past her throat, and all that came out was a scared whimper as she turned her head to look away. Feeling a hand lift from her bare arm and trace her jaw line to her chin. He tilted her face up towards his and he smirked down at her. She shuddered, 'Please…please…someone…help me…' she silently begged as tears pricked her eyes.

Seeing her tears, his smirk widened, "Now, now, don't cry." he said tauntingly, wanting to see the tears flow down her cheeks.

His words did their trick and when she closed her eyes to block out the things she didn't want to see, her tears began to quickly float down her cheeks. 'Please…' she begged herself.

"Crying will only ruin the fun," he whispered, leaning forward and darting out his tongue to trace the salty tracks of her tears down her cheeks.

Another strangled whimper sounded from her throat. 'Someone…'

"I can't promise this will be over soon, so you might as well lay back and enjoy it." he stated coldly as his fingers left her jaw and stroked her neck down to her collar bone.

She could feel him move above her, and then she felt a feeling of skin touching skin. 'Help me!' she screamed silently. Just as a sharp, agonizing pain ripped through her body, she felt her mind draw blank, and darkness swell around her. She heard herself scream, but it wasn't from her own throat.

Sitting up quickly, Lacus gripped the sides of her head in her palms tightly as her fingernails dug into her scalp. She was still screaming, but she couldn't stop. Only did she stop once she completely ran out of air and had to gasp sharply for breath. Her wide eyes were unfocused for a moment, and then darted around her as though looking for something, or someone. All she saw were her bed curtains, swaying slightly from the breeze coming through her open windows.

It took her a few moments to calm down, and once she had her bearings, she wiped away the hot tears from her cheeks. The girl took a few moments to catch her breath and tell herself it was a nightmare, over and over. Only, it ripped her heart and mind whenever she whispered, "It was just a nightmare," because she knew what she was saying wasn't true.

Her hands drifted to her arms and securely gripped the lacy sleeves of her nightgown. Feeling the fabric pressed against her body, though sticking to her back in a cold sweat, was enough to reassure her of her solitude. The girl brought her knees up to her chest, the white blankets falling from her legs. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin between her knees.

Her bangs fell over her eyes as she cried.

She cried for her memories, she cried for her mind, she cried for her shattered heart, she cried for her tormented body, she cried for her fucking reflection. But she didn't cry for herself. She wouldn't cry for her being. Sure, she would cry for the things that made her, but not her, twisted as that sounds. Logic didn't count there, logic never helped her before, and logic was what messed her up.

So she cried.

She cried for what she felt sorry for ruining. She cried for the things she'd destroyed.

"I'm a waste of time and skin…" she whispered to herself, her voice so small that she was surprised she even heard it.

The sounds of an argument woke Kira from his dreams. Sitting up in his bed quickly, his eyes darted towards the door that was closed. Through it, he could hear shouts and screams that sounded like Muruta and…

"Cagalli!" the boy whispered to himself as a girl's scream rang through his ears. He was already out of bed, opening his bedroom door before he ran down the hall towards the family room. Once he was there, his eyes widened in shock and he felt anger and hatred swell in his body. His lavender irises trembled before his pupils shrank.

Muruta stood over his sister as she lay sprawled on the ground, panting heavily and sobbing quietly. The blue eyed man turned to glance over at Kira, and the smirk on his lips widened sadistically. "Kira, I'm glad to see you. I'm sure your sister would also like to have a talk with you, which is if she can keep her voice from escaping her again." the man added before kneeling down and grabbing the girl by the hair before lifting her up towards him. He glared at her before pushing her down roughly to the floor.

"Cagalli!" the boy cried out with concern as he ran to his sister's side.

Kneeling beside her, he reached down to try and help her up, but she slapped his hands away, and slowly, painfully, sat herself up. The look in her eyes was one Kira never thought in a hundred years he'd ever receive from his sister. A look of betrayal, anger, and hate. "Don't touch me!" she seethed at him with tears still dripping from her eyes.

Kira felt extremely hurt, "Cagalli," he began but the girl glared and interrupted.

"You said you'd protect me! You said you'd never let me get hurt!" she cried at him, her eyes filling with her emotions from betrayal to confusion.

The brown haired boy didn't know what to say to his sister, he didn't even know how this could have happened. As he looked at the face of his sister, he thought he saw a flash of his mother kneeling beside Cagalli, her eyes locked on her son filled with disappointment.

"You didn't protect her Kira, you could have helped her, but you failed her Kira. You failed me," she stated quietly, her voice void of emotion.

"No—I—Mother," he mumbled to himself as Cagalli glared at him with those hurting amber eyes.

"I hate you," she hissed.

Kira felt his heart skip a beat. Those three words from his sister were the only words he hoped he'd never hear from her, directed at him. In that moment, everything stopped, and he looked up to see Muruta smirking as he pulled the syringe from his coat pocket. He could see his parents behind the man, his father's face filled with disappointment, and his mother's filled with nothing at all. He turned to look at Cagalli, who glared at him with hatred and anger. Muruta kneeled down next to him and looked him in the eyes.

"You see Kira, you're just a failure. Your sister hates you, you parents who only ever asked you to take care of her have been let down, and I'm the only one you have left."

Sitting up in bed, his breathing heavy and hollow, Kira felt his heart literally pounding in his chest. His body was covered in cold sweat, and his mind was ringing in his ears. "It was…a dream?" he asked himself half doubtingly.

To suppress his worried thoughts, Kira slipped out of his bed and quickly but quietly snuck out of his bedroom, and walked down the hallway to the family room. He looked in, and didn't find a trace of anyone having been in there. Then again, it was dark.

The brunette walked down the hallway again till he came to his sister's bedroom door. He cracked it open enough so he could slip in. Walking up to his sister's bed, Kira leaned down and gently brushed the hair away from his sister's cheek. "Cagalli," he whispered quietly.

"Mm…" she groaned softly in her sleep, cuddling closer to her pillow. Her lips were turned up in the corners in a relaxed smile.

Kira smiled and knew he had his answer. "Sweet dreams," he whispered again and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. He stood up straight and left the room silently before returning to his bedroom.

Blinking slowly, Lacus took another slow, deep breath. She lay sprawled on her bed, her mind gone and someplace else. It had been about half an hour since she'd woken up screaming. No one had come into her room to see if she was all right. The girl wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Her sister had always been with her when they were younger, but when her friends wanted Meer to hang out with them, she'd grow easily agitated around Lacus. Since their parents were nearly never around, Meer had to take Lacus everywhere, even when she went to her friends' homes. Lacus had always known Meer hated that fact, but had always kept to her word to their parents and took her little sister with her. Of course Lacus usually just sat in the living room or kitchen, sometimes the backyard of Meer's friends' houses. If she was lucky, the adults would talk with her or sometimes one of the mothers would ask Lacus to help her bake cookies or something.

Lacus never complained, since she'd had that sort of respect for her onee-sama, but she easily grew bored. Once she was nine, she began carrying a book or two with her to keep her occupied, but hearing Meer and her friends having fun in the next room or upstairs and knowing she couldn't join in had always been a little hard on her. Not that she wanted Meer's friends; at a young age she'd figured out none of them were very nice girls. They'd even go out of their way to say something mean about her if they were passing through the same room, and Meer would go right on along with them. But after awhile of bearing the insults and jeers, Lacus became used to it. Problems didn't arise again till Lacus was twelve and Meer turned fourteen.

Meer's friends gave up their childish ways and chose to wear the skimpy clothes the models in their teen magazines wore, and they began using make up as though it were a necessity. Taunts became more frequent when Meer dragged Lacus over to her friend's houses. The "big girls" would tease Lacus since she still didn't wear make up, and wouldn't wear a skirt shorter than just slightly above her knees at least. Her clothes also seemed too "childish" for them, and they would snicker seeing her in one of her old dresses. Lacus was never one to have cared what kinds of clothes she had, as long as they were sensible and comfortable.

It was also when Meer and her friends began getting close to boys. But not boys their own age, they thought they weren't good enough. So they decided the older boys in ninth grade were good enough for them. If it weren't for Meer and her friends, Lacus would never have met…

Turning over onto his other side, Kira groaned in his sleep. After returning to his bedroom, he'd crawled into bed under the warm, safe covers and fallen back to sleep with a warm feeling in his chest, knowing Cagalli was sleeping peacefully. But once his dreams began to form, he found he couldn't understand them.

In his dream, it was nearly completely dark around him, and a fog floated around his ankles. It didn't really feel like anything to him, the fog, so he knew he was dreaming. He didn't know why, but he was walking somewhere, but, he had no idea where that was, it was too dark.

After a few moments, he glanced forward and saw a small form sitting in the fog. He walked closer, and saw it was a young girl. He couldn't see her that well; she was nearly entirely masked by the fog and darkness. What he could see were her lips quivering and the crystalline tears running down her cheeks. She wore a white dress with a thin red ribbon around the waist, but she had her legs pulled up to her chest and her arms around her knees.

"Um, what's wrong?" Kira asked curiously, a confused look of concern crossing his face. He kneeled down next to her, and tried to reach his hand out to place it on her shoulder, but she shied away from his hand when it came close. Kira returned his hand to his side.

The girl sniffled and made as if to turn her head to look over at the young man. "It's lonely here, I'm empty," she mumbled in a small voice.

Kira thought the voice sounded faintly familiar. "Who are you?" he asked curiously, a bit curious about her answer. What did she mean by 'lonely here'? Where was here?

The girl shook her head in answer to his question. "She is supposed to stay with me, but I don't want to see her," she whispered. Kira was extremely confused now.

"What, hey wait!" he called out.

The girl had started to fade into the darkness, but Kira was still curious as to who she was. But to add to his curiosity and confusion, once the little girl faded away, another girl appeared. She too was nearly fully concealed by the darkness and fog around them, and all Kira could see of her face was the lower half. He had a feeling they were the same person, this he felt, and guessed since they were wearing the same dress. This girl he guessed to be ten or eleven, and she was standing in front of him.

"Um," Kira began, unsure of what to say. This was like no dream he'd had before, if he'd even dreamed.

"I hate her," the girl said in a monotone voice. It too sounded like a more mature voice of the little girl, and strangely familiar to Kira.

"Who do you hate?" Kira asked, his eyes focusing on where the girl's eyes were hidden in shadow.

She seemed to stiffen at his concentrated gaze, but replied with, "Her…" she stated, her voice still void of emotions, but this time a little sad.

"Why?"

"Because she hates me too, and so do they." she replied, her pale hands curling into fists.

"Who are they?"

"The people who call themselves her friends," the girl said, bowing her head.

Kira saw clear, glistening tears fall to the fog covered ground, and outstretched his hand as though to touch her shoulder. Unlike the little girl, she didn't mind his touch. The boy was surprised at how cold her skin was.

"You're cold," he mumbled in a soft, caring voice.

The girl shifted and her hands silently moved up to rub her upper arms for warmth. She was surprised at the boy's voice and the concern behind it.

"I guess…but it doesn't really matter. It's not like anyone cares…" she mumbled back, before reluctantly letting her hands fall back to her sides.

"That's not true," Kira stated a bit sadly, understanding of the girl's attitude. He knew what she felt, saying those words, and he wished she didn't feel those feelings that plagued him so many times from the sanctuary of his bed and midnight ponderings. "You may not know who, and they might not even know, but there's always at least once person that cares about you," he stated, placing his other hand on the girl's other shoulder. Though this was a dream, this dream girl needed to hear this, and so did he.

"What do you mean?" she asked with a slightly curious, slightly hopeful tone in her voice.

"What I mean, is that there's a person out there who does care about you. You may not know them, and they may not even know you, but they know how you're feeling, and can sometimes feel exactly what you're feeling." he explained with a soft, encouraging smile.

"You mean someone does care about me, somewhere?" she asked incredulously, uncertainty evident in her voice.

"Yes. And even if you don't believe me, your heart will still think it's true, and it is. There's someone out there that worries about someone they've never met, or maybe they have? It doesn't really matter there; the important thing is that there is someone out there that does care about you. Never tell yourself no one cares, or that you're not worth caring about. You can close your eyes to things that you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart or anyone else's to what you feel." Kira said these words with an unwavering amount of assurance. He needed to hear this, even if it was from himself.

His explanation seemed to make an impact on the girl; she brought her hands up and rubbed her arms again. She returned them to her sides after a few moments, and smiled at the boy kneeling before her.

"You know, you should listen to yourself. If all that you said is true, then there's someone out there who cares for you." she pointed out, a small, tiny smile cracking on her lips.

Kira gave her a slightly surprised look. He hadn't expected her to say something like that, and it seemed to make his chest constrict slightly. 'Is there someone out there, worrying, caring, thinking about me?' he wondered silently, hesitantly.

The girl then began to fade away into the darkness, and Kira's hands passed through her now translucent shoulders. "Hey, wait! Who are you?" he asked quickly, before she could disappear.

The small smile on her lips seemed to disappear, and a melancholic frown crossed her lips. She disappeared quickly afterward, and the air surrounding Kira became deathly quiet. He looked around, and saw that the fog had stopped drifting, and seemed frozen in place. Reaching a hand out, he ran it through the thick, white cloud, only for it to pass through as though the fog were merely air. Furrowing his brow as he concentrated on his dream, he wondered if he'd wake up anytime soon.

Lacus lay on her side in her bed, staring blankly at her hand. The long, delicate fingers that were as pale as sand were resting against the dark fabric of her pillow case. Her eyes stayed on them for a moment before she blinked. The girl's blue gaze then drifted down her hand to her wrist. Reaching forward with her other hand, she pulled the lace sleeve up away from her wrist to gaze at the scars.

Wincing as she looked over each one and traced over it with her soft fingertips, she tried to remember what each one had been for. She could remember every single one. The very first one was gone, faded away, because it had only been accidental. It had been only three years ago, she'd been peeling an apple and the knife slipped. It had barely cut into her flesh, but she still remembers how good the distraction the pain had brought on, how it just cleared her mind of everything but the burning sensation in her wrist.

She sighed, closing her eyes. She was tired; it was two thirty in the morning. The sounds of wind slipping through her windows was calming, in a hauntingly beautiful symphony that could only be better with the sounds of rain falling. It wasn't long before she lulled herself to sleep.

Hearing the girls laughing upstairs made her bow her head lower and gently swing her feet slowly. Her long hair was let down, and it fell over her face. She liked how her bangs fell onto her face, blocking her eyes from prying eyes. Her father liked to point out how pretty she'd look if she clipped her bangs back, but she was too stubborn. Then her father would laugh and ruffle her hair, secretly tucking her bangs behind her ear. She liked spending time with her father, but it was so rare now that he only liked to spend time with Noreen, Meer's mother. Lacus really didn't like her at all.

There was a crash upstairs, and the girl looked up with curiosity. A woman walked into the living room to glare up the stairs and shout up to the girls. The girls only laughed in shrill voices and said everything was fine. Shaking her head, the woman frowned, and glanced over at the pink haired girl sitting silently on the sofa.

"Now Lacus, don't you go turn out like those girls, you hear me?" the woman asked with a grin.

Lacus only nodded. Her blue eyes were innocently wide and respectful.

The woman walked back into the kitchen, and Lacus glanced down at the forgotten book in her lap. Her hands that lay clasped on top of it moved as though to pick it up, but she was much too bored of it to read it again for what would seem the third time that day. Sighing in boredom, she leaned back into the sofa cushions.

"I read too much," she whispered to herself.

She was about to pick up the book anyway, when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Looking over, she saw her sister standing at the stairwell with a smirk on her face. She was wearing an outfit different from what she was wearing when they came here earlier that morning, and Lacus knew she was wearing her friend's clothes. A bright pink tank top that was a size to small contrasted nicely-color wise only-with the tight, black athletic shorts she wore. Her long ashen hair was up in a high pony tail, and she was also wearing makeup she hadn't been wearing that morning.

"Hey onee-chan!" she greeted with what sounded like false friendliness.

Lacus could tell her sister wasn't really being nice, but she wanted to believe she was so…Meer was being nice.

"Do you need something Meer?" the blue eyed child asked curiously.

"Yea, I do. Do you think you could ask Ami's mother to make us some lemonade? And could you bring it up to us?" the older girl asked, absently twirling her hair around her finger.

Lacus frowned slightly, "But you're down here, why can't you do it?"

"But I asked you! Please? It can't be that hard! It's not like I ask you to do everything all the time! Do you not like us or something?" Meer asked as though Lacus had refused to let her breath air.

"No, of course not!" Lacus hurriedly said. "I was just wondering, I'll ask right away! I'm sorry if I upset you, big sister," she added with a hint of sorrow. "I'll do it right now, ok? I'll be up as soon as it's ready!" she stated, more for her own defiant self's sake.

Meer smirked and said a quick thanks before rushing up the stairs again. Lacus sighed as she stood from the couch, carefully placing her book in the spot where she'd been sitting, before she walked towards the kitchen doorway.

'Meer lied…' she thought to herself. 'She always does.' she added, referring to Meer's remark on asking her to do things for her.

Carefully balancing the tray, Lacus slowly made her way up the stairs. On the tray were five glasses of pink lemonade, all with three ice cubes and a small wedge of lemon. Ami's mother seemed to have a strange obsession with lemonade and iced tea alike—with the number of ice cubes and the mandatory lemon wedge. Lacus shrugged off her strange thought when she wavered slightly, nearly spilling the tray. That was the last thing she needed.

Walking down the hallway, she came to the overly decorated bedroom door and nudged it open gently with her shoulder. When she stepped in the doorway, the five girls in the room ignored the small newcomer. Lacus looked over at Meer and said in a soft, but loud enough voice,

"Meer, I brought it up, just like you asked," she said.

The girls giggled at how Lacus seemed to be too quiet for their tastes.

The girl's older sister glanced over at her as though it were a chore and rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, just put it on the desk and hurry along."

Lacus nodded and walked slowly, still trying to balance the tray that was quite heavy with five glasses sitting on it. One of the girls noticed this, and as Lacus was about to place the tray on the desk, the girl reached out with her leg and tripped the girl. Lacus fell forward and twisted a bit, making the tray drop three glasses on the floor beside her, and the other two landed on the floor, more or less on her.

The girls laughed, all except Ami who pretended to be upset the girl just spilled lemonade on her carpet and one of her shirts that had probably been lying there for a day or more anyway.

"Ugh! Look what you did, you clumsy little brat!" the girl shouted, pretending to be outraged much too well.

Lacus sat up quickly with fear and surprise on her face. She knew there had been nothing she could have tripped on! She'd seen the floor right in front of her, there was no way she slipped up—Lacus glanced to her side to see another of Meer's friends giggling and pulling her leg back slowly.

'So that was it…' Lacus thought to herself sadly.

Bowing her head and reaching for the spilled glasses, the pink haired child set them back on the tray quickly and quietly.

"I'm very sorry, Ami! Really, I didn't think I'd trip, I'm sorry I'm so clumsy!" Lacus said softly.

"I'm sorry Ami, this is my fault. I knew she was this clumsy, but she asked me so sweetly if she could help out, so I let her get the lemonade for us. I should have just told her it was ok, I'd get it. I'm sorry for the trouble." Meer put in, the smirk on her lips giving away the lie she was telling.

Everyone in the room knew Meer was lying, but the fun part was watching her little sister agree.

"Yes Ami, I am really clumsy. I'm sorry," Lacus said again, standing up with the tray and empty glasses in her hands. "I'll be right back to clean it up, would you like more lemonade too?" she asked.

"No, we weren't really that thirsty anyway," the girl who'd tripped her stated matter-of-factly.

As Lacus left the room, she could hear the giggling and cruel remarks from her sister and Meer's friends.

Walking into the kitchen, Ami's mother turned around when she heard the tray being placed on the counter. Her grin disappeared when she saw Lacus with the sad look in her eyes and the large, light pink stain on her white dress.

"Lacus, what happened?" she asked as though the obvious wasn't obvious enough.

"I," before she could say anything, Ami's mother grabbed a clean cloth from the sink and began rubbing it on the nonexistent lemonade marks on her cheeks and then moving to dab at the stain.

"Did one of those girls spill it on you? Or trip you? I swear I'm going to," Ami's mother stated with anger as the stain began to appear on the cloth.

"No, it wasn't their fault!" Lacus claimed. "I tripped and spilled the tray, I'm really sorry! I'm just too clumsy; I shouldn't have begged Meer to let me get the lemonade for them. I'm really sorry; I'll clean up the stain in the carpet too! I'm really sorry!" Lacus explained softly.

Ami's mother stared at her as though she'd grown a second head.

"You? Clumsy? I don't think so! You're the most graceful little girl I know!" she said with a smile.

"No, I'm clumsy, really. Just not so much around adults." the girl explained dejectedly.

The woman frowned in confusion as the little girl lifted her head and smiled brightly as though everything was perfect and right in the world.

"Now, I'll just try to get some of this stain out, and go upstairs to clean up the carpet, okay?" she more stated than asked.

The sound of the doorbell ringing made the woman glance up, and Lacus stepped aside so she could go answer the door. Lacus watched her for a moment before picking up the cloth and continuing in dabbing the stain. A few moments later, Ami's mother came back into the kitchen and sighed out of frustration.

"Lacus?" she asked, gaining the child's attention. "When you're older, don't turn out like my daughter,"

Lacus nodded respectively, and turned to walk out of the kitchen so she could go to the closet and get out the cleaning supplies. But after she'd gone through the kitchen doorway, she looked up from dabbing the stain to see a boy around her sister's age leaning against the sofa.

She froze in her tracks and felt her breath catch in her throat. Something, about the boy, wasn't right. He seemed…odd, out of place, terra incognita. When he turned and his eyes fell upon her, she felt a chill rake her spine. The corners of his lips turned up in a smirk, and Lacus felt she'd seen that smirk before.

"Hey." he greeted coolly, raising a hand in greeting.

Lacus only watched him warily, and surprised. She guessed her eyes were like a deer's caught in headlights and were giving her away. She looked down, and began dabbing at the stain again. He would laugh, maybe make a remark, and then go upstairs to be with the girls. That was why he was here, right? She heard footsteps walking towards her, and felt someone staring down at her. She looked up hesitantly, her eyes wide in curiosity and uncertain fear. Why wasn't he upstairs yet?

"Are you mute? Or deaf?" he asked, that smirk still on his lips.

She shook her head, too frightened to look away.

"Well then, why won't you at least dignify me with a response?"

"…Hi…?" she asked.

"That's better." he stated, crossing his arms and continuing to stare down at her.

When she didn't say anything, he rolled his eyes and glanced over at the sofa seat. He noticed the book and Lacus watched him walk over and pick it up. He looked at the cover, and flipped through a few pages. He glanced over at her and held it up.

"Aoi Samurai, huh? So, do you know who was reading this? I doubt it was any of the dumbsluts up there," he said, gesturing to the stairwell. "And Mrs. Mahou doesn't read anything unless it's a cooking magazine. It couldn't be Mr. Mahou, he doesn't like adventure-fantasies." the boy stated, as though talking to himself.

"…That's my book…" Lacus confessed, looking away. She didn't like his eyes, especially when they were looking at her.

"Really? This is a pretty mature novel, I didn't know they were letting seventh graders read it now." he confessed, still smirking at her.

"I'm only in sixth grade," Lacus replied quietly.

The boy's eyes widened slightly, "You mean, you're still in elementary school?" he asked incredulously.

"They are from first to sixth you know," she stated coldy, hoping he'd leave.

The boy set the book back down and stared at her for awhile.

"Hmm, you wouldn't happen to be Lacus, would you?" he inquired, placing a finger on his chin.

Lacus nodded slightly.

"Meer mentioned you, a few days ago. Said her ditz of a little sister ruined her favorite miniskirt so she had to wear one of her older ones instead."

Lacus kept her eyes on the floor; her hands kept twisting the cloth between her fingers.

"You didn't do anything to it, did you?" he asked. "I knew because I heard her complaining to her friends earlier how her step-dad wouldn't let her out of the house with a skirt that short. You seem to be a popular scapegoat, huh?" he asked.

Lacus kept quiet.

He walked over to her again, and leaned down a bit so he'd be at eye level if she'd look up at him. She only glanced up at him hesitantly to see how close he was, and she silently gasped. Their noses were almost touching, and his eyes were so close, she couldn't look away. At that moment, she was glad her bangs were covering her eyes slightly.

Pulling a hand up, he brushed her bangs away from her eyes, and smirked when she moved slightly away. He grinned, and stood up straight once again.

"You know, you have beautiful eyes. You shouldn't hide them like that; people will think you're hiding something terrible from them."

Before Lacus could try and gather herself to make a smart remark, footsteps from the stairs caught both their attention. The girls were standing by the door, slipping their shoes on and giggling with each other, again.

"Hey Ketsuke!" Meer greeted with a sly smirk. "I see you've met my sister. Don't mind her; she's just a loud mouthed nuisance."

"Come on, let's get going!" Ami stated before they began to hurry out the door.

Lacus saw two other boys waited outside and they both smirked when the girls walked over to them.

Meer waited for Ketsuke as he took his sweet time walking over to her. He was still wearing his shoes, so they didn't have to wait long before Meer was out the door, tugging on his arm. He glanced over his shoulder to smirk at Lacus before calling, "See you around."

Meer looked over at her and smirked before Ketsuke closed the front door. It was then that Lacus knew why Ketsuke's smirk had seemed all too familiar.

He and Meer both smirked at her in the same way.

Opening her eyes and sitting up panting for the second time that morning, Lacus felt another layer of cold sweat coating her. She hated this feeling, this overwhelming feeling that always seemed to capture her in a corner and not let her out of its grasp. It became hard to breathe, and her ears wouldn't stop ringing. She'd hear everything and nothing at the same time. She'd lose all feelings of reality, and feel out of place. Then she'd re-live every single one of her memories in seconds, before everything just became one fast moving blur.

She slowly rose herself from her bed, and began walking towards the bathroom door. She opened it quietly, not that there was anyone to hear her, and slipped in. She was a bit surprised to see the room fully illuminated with the pale blue light from the moon slipping through the windows. Glancing over to the medicine cabinet connected to the wall, she slowly made her way towards it, and opened it hesitantly. The small plastic cases, each holding its own razor blade, seemed to glow menacingly in the pale light. Reaching for one shakily, she grasped it and opened it.

The razor, when held up in the moonlight, looked beautiful yet deadly. The way the moonlight gleamed off the sharp edge made her fingers tingle with an itch to stop the pain in her head. That was why she was holding the damned object, wasn't it? To relieve herself of the pain crashing through her mind?

She lowered the blade carefully to a section of pale, illuminated skin on her arm. Feeling the pressure of the paper thin weapon pressing against her arm sent a ripple of ache through her nerves. But just before she could push harder and slash the skin, one memory surfaced in her mind long enough for her to see it.

"But only if you promise me something," His words were gentle and soft…

"What?"

"Don't hurt yourself like this. It's not healthy, do you understand me?" He sounded so protective, and like he even really cared…

"I don't want you to hurt yourself like this," He seemed so sad, like he really didn't like what I was doing…

"I do know what the feeling is," Does he really?

"I…believe you, Kira…"

And then he smiled, as though he knew everything could be okay…as though he really was hoping I would be okay…

"Kira!?" she whispered in surprise. Why was she thinking of him just now? Just because he'd given her a talk like that? People who are miserable strive to find something or someone more miserable than themselves…Was Kira like that? No, he wasn't. He would rather put himself in harm's way than to see someone get hurt, in any way. But he was so…lifeless…sometimes. Not telling teachers what happened to him in the hallways, just sitting there quietly and trying hard not to cause any attention to be drawn to him. He was so soft and gentle, from what she knew. He was nice to her, to Miriallia, and he was protective and caring of his sister. No one could be better than him; no one could hold higher standing in her eyes, other than him.

It was then she remembered what she would sometimes see in his eyes when no one was watching him. When he thought no one was looking his way. His eyes would grow tormented and full of something too familiar to Lacus. His eyes were full of them…Sometimes when he looked at her, she could see them crashing in his amethyst orbs. His eyes were full of silent screams, crying out for someone to notice them. She knew from mirrors her eyes often held them.

"Kira," she whispered, shrinking to the floor with her back against the wall. "Why are you screaming? What are you screaming about?"

It wasn't till she felt a slippery, sharp edge poking her finger that she realized in her left hand she held a bloody razor, and there was a thin line of red dripping down her arm. It wasn't much, only like a scrape would cause. But what surprised her was, that it wasn't the pain she created on her arm that had made her mental pain disappear, hell, she didn't even notice it till now; it was thinking of Kira and how he'd been worried and concerned for her that took the painful memories away.

"Kira…" she whispered, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around the silk covering her legs.

Okay, I have to say I'm not too proud of this chapter. I really screwed up in Kira's parts. See, the idea of this chapter was better two months ago when I only ran it through my head. But once I got it down, it didn't sound too good, so for half a month, I only spent time on revising the first half with Kira's dreams and stuff, which I think are messing with the flow of my story. I did like Lacus's parts though, and I think I just gave you all a good insight to her past. And I think I gave too much away for the event that happened in the beginning of the chapter…Hmmm…

Oh, and I wanted to thank all of my wonderful reviewers for still supporting me, even though school's started and I'm no longer updating once every one or two weeks. As a hint though, I only update after receiving a no excuses minimum of 15 reviews. Less than that? I sit around waiting till I get em, even if the next chapter is ready to go. Exactly that? Depending on how many hits have been counted, and how long I've waited, (Max of plain waiting for reviews: one week) I'll update reluctantly. More than 15? I dance around, thinking of my wonderful reviewers and what I should put in the next chapter to satisfy them. Okay, now that that's settled…

Thank you beautiful reviewers, Writer's Block is gone, juices and ideas are flowing, and this story is just getting good! Lots more surprises in store! Bye-Bye Buddies! I'm off to catch some late night anime and fall asleep in time to get at least nine hours of sleep to keep me going all week so I can survive on them till next Saturday night to do it all over again! (I'm running like some toy car, charged one night all night so I only have to be charged for a few minutes through out the week…oh joy, now I have relevance to toy cars)

Also, if any of you are reading this far down, thank you so much! I just wanted to say that I just created a one-shot (may become a story, depends on what the reviewers want) that my KiraxLacus fans would probably enjoy. I just wanted to put it out there to people who like KxL stories that aren't just Fluffy, Fluffily Fluff with a dash of Fluff on the side kind of stories. (Not that there's anything wrong with stories like that) It's just that I think my new creation, Need, seems to be satisfyingly bittersweet. Nothing too big, it could probably pass for a T rating, but M just to be safe. Just wanted to mention it to my oh so special readers who may not have me on their alert list and just this story. Well, sorry to take up so much time, I promise the Author's notes won't ever get this long again! Heheh, bye.

Sam