-I apologize if this chapter comes out late, I had an overnight at my writing camp and am currently running on 2 1/2 hours of sleep, but your guys' comments were just so amazing and wonderful that I had to try and get this out for you. Enjoy 3-

~Astrid~

"Astrid."

"Hrmph."

"Wake up."

"Hrmph."

"If you don't, I'll do it for you."

"...Hrmph."

"Very well."

The tangled nest of sheets that I'd managed to wrap around myself like a cocoon, reaching all the way up to my face, was suddenly and harshly jolted out from under me, sending me flying backwards and unrolling like a roll of carpet. I landed hard on the floor, writhing and rolling onto my back, throwing an arm over my face to block out the sudden light. The pain in the back of my head quickly faded as I seethed, jaw clenched and pride all but intact, restraining myself from the outburst of absolute fury I wanted to unleash upon him.

It was too early for homicidal tendencies.

"Oh, good. You're up. The boyscouts want us." Pitch deadpanned, and I frowned, arm flopping down next to me as I shot him a glare, seeing him leaning over me with a frown.

"I hate you more than words can explain." I said tiredly and warningly.

"I hate you too. Now stand up, it was either this or North was going to throw a bucket of eggnog on you." He explained calmly and commandingly as I groaned at the thought, pushing myself up and whining,

"I hate eggnog."

"Yes, we've covered the various things that you hate in the morning, now can we please get this over with so that I may go brood in some darkened corner?" Pitch asked irritatedly as I stood, adjusting my hoodie and running a hand through my hair as I yawned, walking past Pitch and to the door. By the time we'd make it to the overlook, all of the others were already there and buzzing, Tooth darting to and forth as the sound of yetis and elves echoed from all over, tinkering and shuffling below as I shoved my hands into my hoodie pocket, glancing over the railing for a moment.

"What's all of this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion as the Yeti ran around below, some moving the work benches and tables from the area below and others with giant boxes, shaking off elves who clung to their fur or tripping as they attempted to avoid stepping on them, shouting in some different language that sounded a mix of Russian and possibly Elvish.

"Es decorations for party! This year will best last year by ten-fold! Will be great fun!" North exclaimed, proud and overzealously excited. I frowned suddenly and deflated, a feeling of mild dread settling in my stomach as I recalled that part of the conversation from this early morning.

"Oh. Party. Right." I mused, and then turned to them, Tooth zipping around in a blur to her little mini-teeth, Jack watching and laughing while Sandy offered me a smile and Aster rolled his eyes at North, painting an egg. "Listen, about that," I began, scratching the back of my head and scuffing the floor with my foot. "I'm not exactly a 'New Years', 'Celebrate with others' kinda person, ya know? I think I might just chill in my room-"

"Oh but you can't!" Tooth exclaimed, very suddenly about three centimeters away from my face, my eyes going wide and reeling backwards a bit as she said quickly with both excited and pleading eyes, practically bouncing in the air, "You need to go! It's gonna be so much fun getting ready and I even have a dress that would go perfectly with your look! And don't worry about the other spirits if they're holding grudges, you're gonna be with us! And do you think any of us would let them do anything to you?"

I opened my mouth to talk, to tell her that A) okay, maybe they did know a lot more about me now than they used to and yeah, they were pretty cool people, but B) I had the social skills of a disabled goose. There was no way I could go to a party with people and be expected to act...well...not-terrified.

"Pleeeeeease!"Tooth begged, moving a bit closer as I took a step back, tensing and trying to find something to say, feeling awkward and uncomfortable, feeling Pitch watching with amusement. I should have strangled him when I wanted to. "I haven't had the chance to bond with another girl around here in such a long time, and I've got such good ideas for hair and makeup-"

"Hair and makeup?"

"And you'll look just beautiful! Pretty please with a cherry and sugar-free whip cream on top? You have no idea how just absolutely thrilled this would make me, finally having another girl after being the only one for so long!" Her eyes were getting that big, watery look in them that made me wince and fight down that word I wanted to say, fight down that feeling of sympathy and guilt that she seemed to evoke.

"No, no don't give me that look." I warned, which only made her turn it up ten-fold, pleading with eyebrows drawn and hands clasped beneath her chin. And the others were just standing there watching. Those bastards.

I cringed, fought back against it, told myself that it was going to be the most miserable mistake I'd ever made and that I could only last about ten minutes, tops... But that freaking face! I let out a breath and groaned, throwing my head back and wondering why all the Guardians seemed to be so damn good in making me do things that were strictly against my own moral set of codes. I looked back at her, seeing that damned face and finally, with a catch, relenting. I held up a finger and said warningly,

"Ten minutes, then I'm out-"

"Great!"Tooth exclaimed, and suddenly exploded in joy, shooting up into the air and shooting past me and Pitch, calling back over her shoulder, "It'll be just wonderful!"

"Wonderful. I just sealed my own fate. Please someone find a way to actually kill me before this thing happens."I groaned, turning to Pitch and glaring as he gazed at his nails as if they were so fascinating. I was about to rip him a new one, but North spoke up first, a laugh in his voice as he said,

"Ah, wonderful! Now we must get things clear first, though, before we all prepare for big hooplah, no? Yes. Ze subject of creature es not to be spoken of by anyone, to anyone. If others get wind of news, vill be big fuss over what might be nothing, and tonight es time for celebration! No bad news to be delivered, by anyone. Understand?"

"Yep, gotcha!" Jack exclaimed as he jumped and tried to balance on the crook of his staff with one foot, actually managing to wobbly succeed.

"Yep."Aster mused, sounding less-than-enthusiastic about the whole thing himself, me glancing at him but him just grumbling something about 'bunch of wankers' and 'bloody groundhog'. Sandy gave a big thumbs-up and nodded his head quickly, North turning to me with a smile and raised eyebrows. I looked over at him as the butterfly and nightmare trotted into the room, the butterfly twirrling around my head as the nightmare nuzzled his face into my hand.

"What? Oh, sorry, I lost you at 'hooplah'." I said, paying attention to the nightmare. North may have been about to say something as I fought with my inner dread about what was going to happen, but Pitch managed to speak up first in a serious tone, Jack floating over to me as he did.

"Speaking of that thing, have you found anything about its origins yet, or is it still a hampster in a ball?"Pitch asked in slight distaste, me and Jack honestly, though we were concerned about this 'threat' and figuring out what those things were, not interested what-so-ever.

"No, but I have found few interesting details, such as consistency of outer-coating."

"Hey, Astrid, I've got and idea!" Jack said excitedly, face lighting up as I raised an eyebrow at him. "You should meet some friends of mine, I think they'd really like you!"

"Frostie, in case I haven't made this explicitly clear, me and spirits don't mix." I insisted, and he waved me off, cooly twirrling his staff in one hand and explaining with a half-smile,

"Nah, no spirits. Kids! Jamie and Sophie, I think you'll like them!" I frowned and absentmindedly dug my hands a bit further into the front pocket of my hoodie, shaking my head and saying a bit awkwardly,

"Uh, Jack, again, not so good with kids either. I mean other than the can't-see-me thing, I'm not exactly a 'Santa' or 'Tooth Fairy'. I think I'll pass on this one, Snowflake." But Jack seemed to resort back into his negotiation phase, jumping a bit closer to me and giving me the same excited, wide-eyed smile that Tooth did, wondering if he got it from her or vice versa, cringing inwardly at it.

"Don't worry! Jamie was the first kid to ever see me, he's special. And Sophie likes anyone! Besides, it's getting boring being stuffed up in this old place all the time, no offense North!" Jack called back the last part, but North was too busy discussing something with Pitch to notice. I paused, looking past Jack and over to the other two, something unsettling inside of me as I saw the looks on their faces.

North seemed like he was busy explaining something, but his tone was now hushed and muttering, and for North to make his booming voice quiet took some purpose, eyebrows drawn in and a frown on his face. Pitch stood with narrowed eyes, but not of hostility...not quite. Just worry, maybe, or contemplating something he rather wouldn't. His lips were thin and hands a bit too tight behind him, standing straight as ever and listening to every word, muttering something once that I couldn't catch before looking over at me, blinking once in something a bit harder than worry.

I furrowed my brow at him, asking him a silent question, but either he had been listening to our conversation or he'd picked up on minor fears, because he brushed me off and mused,

"Why don't you go frolic with that little sprite? Heaven's knows you need to get out before you actually start to like it." Jack rolled his eyes and North frowned a bit, but I saw a bit deeper into it. An insistance in his eyes, as if he wanted me out of here for some reason, and I became all-too interested in what it was that him and North had been talking about, still finding it odd that those two were talking at all.

Something was going on, and I felt a bit irritated that I was being kept out of it, this being my idea in the first place...sort of. But before I could ask either of them what they were saying or explain why it may very well be the worst idea ever to grace the face of the Earth to allow me around children, Jack threw away the fact that Pitch was supposed to be his enemy and went full-heartedly with his idea.

"Great! Let's go!" He exclaimed, and grabbed my upper arm as I gave him a wide-eyed look, exclaiming,

"W-wait! I didn't even- HEY!" I shouted, just as I was yanked unceremoniously up into the air and an icy cold wind whipped around me, Jack carrying me by my arm with an ease given by the wind assisting him, forgetting that I could fly, too, as I struggled and shouted at him, words lost in the winds as we broke through the hole in the roof and out into the icy North Pole.

I did not want to do this, did not want to see kids or have them see me. To be honest, I hadn't even spoken to a kid directly since...well, ever really. Not when they could hear me, at least, and I was damn sure Jack was just getting his hopes up that he could make either of them see me. And Pitch knew this. He knew I'd hate this and that seeing kids wasn't even on my list of things I want to do...

I looked back as we soared through the sky, Jack laughing and going higher and lower depending on the wind and snowfall that he lightly created, me seeing Santoff Claussen and wondering what was going on inside of it, sensing something...off with Pitch. Something he was hiding, or trying to get me away from for now. 'For now' being the key word. I seemed to have a knack for finding things out that Pitch didn't want me to know, one way or the other.

It was a time like this that maybe my answer would have come if I'd just thought a bit deeper. No, not a bit. A lot. About everything. The things that had happened over the past two days. The people I began to like. The views that began to change. The feelings I couldn't comprehend. The creature in the black-grey-ice prison somewhere in the workshop. Yes, if I'd put any of these things together, maybe I'd have an idea for why Pitch wasn't telling me something, or why he'd actually insisted I go with Jack Frost, the one who turned him down.

But I'd built walls by not thinking about things too much, and while the others were doing it quite well, I wasn't about to break them down on my own. So I just worried about the dance later tonight, wondering what kind of loophole I could find to get out of it and what Tooth meant by 'make up and dress up', and meeting these kids today that I hoped Jack would entertain while I just kind of sat and waited it out, hoping I didn't do something wrong, something terrible. I couldn't use anymore inner turmoil today.

~Pitch Black~

"If what you say es right, then you and Astrid are bigger help than we first thought." Nicholas contemplated to himself, running a hand down an unkept beard and nodding. I looking out to where those beasts were setting up for that dance tonight, the one Astrid had gotten roped into, the one I knew she was too weak to not actually go to. Now that would be an amusing sight, seeing Tooth dress her up and force her to actually associate with others while not emotionally scarring them for life. Or skewering them with a candy cane. Honestly, either would suffice for tonight's entertainment.

But there was something else darkening my thoughts, an idea that I prayed was entirely incorrect, but few of my ideas often were. I'd thought of it when Astrid told me she could smell a sort of polluted tragedy within the creatures, and then again when I noticed how, for a split second, the creature moved closer to the shadows than it did to the ice as they swarmed on it's sides when it was being imprisoned, as if moving towards a comfort, or something familiar.

I wasn't exactly sure why I'd come to North with the idea, possibly because his work actually did manage to do something for me in terms of impressiveness, the entire caged idea both dangerous and idiotic and brilliant and well-worth it. It was something I never thought would work, and yet it sat in one of his study rooms completely harmless to anyone who went over to touch it. It might also have been because the topic had come up between us. It certainly wasn't because I trusted him, nor because I thought highly of him.

I wasn't like Astrid, where I could find the good in others and latch onto it, force myself out of my old ways in order to tie alliances and possibly make life a bit more bearable. That was something uniquely her, a trait I'd outwardly mocked and inwardly admired. It was what made her trust me, afterall. Sometimes even I didn't trust me.

But the idea, as I railed my thoughts back, was something that I knew only North could keep secret, valuing the protection of his beloved Guardians as much as I did for Astrid. The idea, if correct, proved my previous theory of this being something small and inconsequential and random out the damn window. If I was correct, then something slightly more sinister and much more irritating was going on just under the cover of us not knowing who or what was running these things, or if they were doing it on their own.

Something was so unsettling about not knowing every aspect and detail of something, knowing that there was more to it we just couldn't see it yet. If my idea was correct, that was exactly what was going on, and perhaps, though I would never admit it to myself or the others, it was better that we were here. It kept Astrid within reach, protected no matter who she was with, though far less if without me.

I just sent her out now because there were some things I wanted to do, some things that if she found out, which she had the horrible habit of doing with almost everything, it would only cause her more stress, and that was one thing she did not need at the moment.

"Anyvays! Party starts in few hours, es time to fit you for suit!" Nicholas boomed, and I snapped my head over to him, narrowing my eyes and giving him a disgusted and incredulous look.

"Excuse me old man? What did you just say?" I snapped, but he seemed oblivious and actually spun me around and wrapped a massive, meaty arm around my shoulders, me trying to fight out of his grasp and failing quite miserably. I was a King of Nightmares, not a damn grizzly bear, which I figured was the only thing that could escape this man's grasp.

"Hah! Calling me old! You are far more ancient than me old friend! Now I see your color es black, but may I suggest a hint of something red? Vill bring out broodiness of your face wonderfully!" He exclaimed, and I felt dread fall in my gut, starring in horror at the hall ahead of us. He did not seriously mean...but...Astrid was one thing, but I would never...they didn't use brute force with her!

I hung my head and grit my teeth as he continued to talk, my heels grinding into the ground but not slowing him in the least. I could not allow this to happen. I would not be subject to this humiliation!...Astrid would never let me hear the end of it!

~Astrid~

I sat on the roof of a house and watched as Jack led the kids through an opening of trees and into a wide-open clearing, different from the one I'd first spoken to him in, having taken my perch upon arrival. Yes, I would be here, but no, I would not associate with them. It wasn't that I didn't like the kids. Hell, the little girl couldn't be anymore precious, still wide-eyed and capable of dreaming, sandy yellow hair that she'd cut herself, much like I had. And her brother, a few years older, was almost as wide-eyed as her, laughing and running around with Jack like they were old friends, his brown hair mussed with snow as Jack ground some into their playfully.

It was just that I liked these kids too much to put them in that kind of danger. So I just kind of sat and watched them play absentmindedly, one arm slung across a knee and the other leg out straight, leaning back and smiling as the little girl nailed her brother in the back with a kick of snow, just as Jack glanced up at me. And I did not like the look in his eyes. It was a look of mischief. I raised an eyebrow at him as he knelt in front of Jamie, calling over Sophie and began to whisper to them.

I sat a bit straighter and looked at them suspiciously, resting my chin in the palm of my hand as a cold breeze blew by, heading towards Jack and almost knocking me off the roof.

"Watch it!"I Shouted after it, but it ignored me as it made it's way to Jack, rustling leaves on trees as he jumped up onto it, the kids with their hands over their eyes for some reason. Jack whispered one more thing while holding up a finger, and then turned and shot up towards me, staff slung across his shoulder and a jumpy, excited look in his eyes. I quirked my eyebrow suspiciously and asked as he got up to the roof,

"What's with the grin, Snowflake?"

"C'mon!" Was all he said, jumping in the air and holding his hand out for me. I rolled my eyes and stood up, taking a step back and saying, holding my hands out with smoke drifting from my palms for emphasis, wondering how many times I'd have to say this to get it through his head,

"Jackie, I'm not going anywhere near those kids. It's not like I can play with them. I can't touch them, and vice versa." But even as I spoke, Jack smirked, holding the staff out above him and twirrling it hard, snow falling above him as he held his hand out, one strong circle of it around him and no where else, quickly gathering a good-sized clump in his hand in a few moments. He ceased the twirrling and slung the staff onto his shoulder, using both hands to pack the snow together.

I watched with growing caution and unease, wondering what this kid was thinking and how it could possibly-

SPLAT.

...

"Jack, have I ever told you how close you come to death on a daily basis?" I asked, eye twitching as I drug my hand over my face, removing the icy snow from my skin and shaking it from my hair, trying not to reach out and knock the kid right out of the sky, just hearing his laughter as he reached out his hand and exclaimed, jumping and smirking as I glared at him, wondering if he knew who he'd just thrown a freaking SNOWBALL at,

"C'mon! That's what I mean! You don't have to touch them, just play in the snow! That way you're not touching them, right?" I paused, opening my mouth to contradict him, but coming up with nothing better than,

"...They can't see me!" It was the only argument I could make. Powers didn't transcend each other normally, Jack and Pitch's nightmare ice being an exception. But still...they were kids. Kids. I hadn't played with kids in this lifetime, not once, and not even that often in the last! I didn't know they worked, how they thought, how they had fun. All I knew was how fragile they were. How defenseless.

"I can make them." Jack's words brought me back, and I gave him an incredulous look, wondering if he knew what he was saying. But his face showed nothing other than promise, excitement, and a whispered promise full of nostalgia and pride. As if he actually believed in his own words. As if he thought he could make the children see me. As if he thought I could actually play with them.

"Jack..."I said warily, looking back at the kids who stood patiently with their hands over their eyes, the little girl crouching on the ground after awhile, little pink fairy wings on over a pink winter jacket. She was so small, her tragedies would seem so small to others, but to her...

"C'mon, I promise you'll have fun. It's my center, afterall." Jack bragged, holding his arms out in signal to himself as I looked back at him, conflicted. I bit my lips, hands shoved into the pockets of my jacket, looking from him to the kids. Thinking of all the things I could do, of all the time I hadn't played with children...

Snow. Just snow, though. And I had wondered what it would be like, if they were just children and didn't completely understand...and I wasn't feeling too out-of-control, so the odds...

Hell. I'd done crazier things.

"Prove it, Frostbite." I said to him challengingly, and the tone of my voice made him burst into a smile, jumping backwards as I jumped forwards on a thin layer of smoke, following him downwards over the tops of the trees and into the clearing, me ghosting over the ground as I looked at the kids close-up, seeing their tiny freckles and excited grins.

I dropped to the ground just as the worry began to settle in, the nervousness that made me want to puke or have a heart attack or something. Not exactly fear yet, but almost there, something Pitch would be able to feel if he tried. Oh no, please don't let him see me throwing snowballs if this worked. He'd never let me live it down.

Jack walked ahead of me and knelt in front of the kids, talking in a hushed and excited tone that made both of them perk up, jumping up and down excitedly as I writhed in nerves, thinking of all the worst things that could happen.

"Hey guys, remember that surprise I just promised you? Well...it's right in front of you. No, no, don't open your eyes yet! See, it's a new friend, okay? You can't touch her, she's nervous, but she's gonna play with us. Her name is 'Astrid', and she's a spirit just like me! She can fly and everything! So you guys gotta see her, alright? She's right in front of you...just believe." He whispered in a hushed tone that even captivated me, my heart pounding in my ears, palms sweating in my pockets.

"Can we open our eyes, Jack?" Jamie, the boy, asked excitedly, and for a moment I almost wondered if maybe, possibly...

"Open!" Both pairs of eyes flickered open, and I wanted to run. Wanted to hide. Wanted to do something other than be here with my heart pounding so hard that it hurt, never wanting this, never asking for this, wondering why I was even here. This wasn't a good idea. They wouldn't see me, who would? That was ridiculous. That was impossible.

"...Pretty!" The little girl jumped up and down in the air and shouted the word in a way that was slightly slurred and impedimented, the adorable way that young girls talk. And my heart just up and stopped, my eyes flew wide, and my mouth hung open. A prickling sensation seemed to run through my body in that instant, something not uncomfortable but foreign, light, almost...warm. They both looked at me. At me.

"Hi! I'm Jamie!" The boy exclaimed excitedly, waving a mitted hand as he smiled, two front teeth missing. The little girl hopped up and down still and exclaimed slightly shy, slightly excited, excited to see me, excited to play with me,

"Sophie! Sophie!" The boy laughed and pointed to his sister, saying,

"Oh yeah, this is my little sister Sophie. So you're gonna play with us?" I paused, the prickling becoming a full warmth, radiating from my stomach to my feet and hands, up my spine, into my chest and head. And a light. A bright light, but not blinding. One that made everything...almost not so dark and scary. Like a nightlight. Like something inside of me was finally flickered on after billions of years in the dark, and I was feeling light, a tightness in my chest that made me almost...almost smile. No, correction. I did make me smile. And laugh quietly. And I had no freaking idea why. I just knew it felt amazing, and wonderful, and spontaneous, and I found that for the first time, I didn't care.

Didn't care about why, or how, or if it were dangerous. No, this felt innocent. This felt safe. This felt wonderful. It felt like beginning. It felt like...fun.

"Yeah-"

SPLAT.

The kids laughter snorted out as I spun to Jack, who was throwing another snowball up in the air lazily, eyebrow quirked as if to say 'see?' in the cockiest way possible. And something inside of me responded. Something I remember having at one point, but not when or what it was. Something dormant in this lifetime and too old to remember, but coming back as if it had never left in the first place.

And I smiled lopsidedly, reaching down and scooping up a pack of snow, forming it like I'd seen Jack do.

"Oh Frostbite, you don't know who you're messin' with!" I exclaimed.

And then it began.

Jack ran as Jamie and Sophie screamed in delight, half-excitement and half-laughter, all of it mixing in the air and coating us with euphoria and nostalgia. I laughed almost harder than all of them, skidding to a stop to avoid getting hit with a snowball and then chucking my own, missing Jack but hitting Jamie, who laughed as he fell down and then proceeded to target me.

And it was almost as if I didn't need to learn how to play. As if it were a skill we all had and just kept inside of us, denying. It all came back like an old memory, and everything just kind of clicked, and there was no worrying or fear or creatures or stress or Aster or MiM. There were snowballs and fun and laughter and cold and falling and smiling until our faces hurt and then some.

"Heads up!" Jack shouted from behind me, just as he nailed me in the back of the head with a snowball. I spun around and looked down at Sophie, who was cradling a snowball of her own. I looked from her to Jack, and smiled as an idea formed in my head. I knelt down and got eye-level with her, asking quietly,

"Hey Sophie, wanna help me out?" She beamed and shook her head violently, and I grinned, nodding to Jack and whispering my plan to her as he focused on chasing Jamie, icing the ground beneath him and taking him on a trip in a circle, the young boys' laughter screaming out and making the air lighter, brightening the world around us. Once I was done, Sophie nodded quickly and I winked at her, nodding my head over as she turned and began to run.

I shot up into the sky and flew way over Jack's head as he focused on Sophie, play-running backwards in the air as I flipped and dropped down right behind him, scooping up some snow as he got closer and closer, grin almost a laugh that I had to keep down as, just as he got two yards away, I pulled my arm back and shouted,

"Heads up, Frostbite!" He spun around in shock and, with one solid throw, got nailed right in the face. He paused, as if shocked that I'd actually managed to do that, and then laughed in a way that only Jack Frost could, in a way that was light as snow and feral as a boy who slept in trees.

"I'll get you for that one! Jamie!" He shouted, and ducked, revealing the young boy behind him who, like Sophie and I, had worked out a plan. My eyes widened and I dropped to my feet on the ground, crouching just as the ball of snow flew over my head in a rather impressive throw, hitting something solidly behind me, the sound of breaking snow and gasps ringing out in front of me.

I looked forward and raised an eyebrow, seeing Jamie with wide eyes, Jack pressing his hand hard to his mouth to stop himself from laughing, Sophie gasping and jumping up and down, pointing behind her excitedly.

"Bunny! Hop, hop, hop!"

I turned around in surprise, only to copy Jack's exact stance, fist pressed to my mouth as I smiled and painfully held back a fit of laughter, other arm wrapping around my mid-section. Maybe it was something in the air, but nothing about this was menacing or painful. This was freaking hilarious.

Aster glared and growled as the snow fell off his face, pieces sticking to his wiskers and making them twitch, which made me snort in laughter as I tried to regain control of myself, taking in a deep breath and saying between snorts,

"Y-you l-l-look a little chilly A-Aster. Jack F-Frost b-b-bite you n-nose?" His eyes widened as Jack burst into laughter behind me, Jamie following soon after as Sophie ran right past me, jumping up and down and surprising Aster, her arms held up high with a bright sparkle of excitement in her eyes.

"Hop hop hop!" She exclaimed again in broken English, me watching her with a smile before looking up at Aster... And it took my breath away. Literally, and I didn't mind. Because I was caught somewhere between shock and elation, nostalgia and laughing and crying. It all mixed inside of me, all at once, and I couldn't guard the look on my face as he looked at her with that smile.

And it was his. No doubt, not a shadow of one, that was his. It belonged to Aster. It always had, but I'd thought, after everything, that maybe it was lost. That he, like me, had just changed too much. That it had died along with his memory. That I'd never get to see it again. But I was wrong. There it was.

His eyes sparkled, glinting against the diamond-reflection of the snow, squinting like they always used to, as if they were smiling too. His lips were different, but they curved up just like they used to, and I could almost envision what it used to look like beneath fur and whiskers, the gentle look of pure, unsheltered joy and love and adoration. It wasn't towards me, but it was there. That's all I ever wanted. To know it was still there.

He leaned down and lifted Sophie, holding her in his arms as she nuzzled into his chest, smiling happily as he laughed lightly. His laugh. Aster's, not the Easter Bunny's.

"Hey there, anklebita', what kinda trouble you gettin' yerself inta?" He asked jokingly, and she bounced as she pointed to me and exclaimed,

"Pretty, pretty!" Aster followed where she was pointing, and when his eyes fell one me they went wide, jaw falling open a bit. I scratched the back of my head and laughed nervously, that feeling still in the air as I smiled at Sophie and winked, then looked back up at Aster with an awkward smile, shrugging and nodding to Jack somewhere behind me.

And then he smiled.

I copied his look of surprise. Because there it was. At me. Me. He was smiling at me with that smile and those eyes and suddenly everything good finally came back, wrapping around me like a blanket of warmth and comfort because...because he was smiling like he was proud of me. That smile.

"Congrats, sheila. Got yerself yer own little fanclub, huh?" He asked smiling, and I couldn't do anything but laugh breathily and shrug again, saying a bit quietly, almost to myself because...wasn't that exactly what I had? Was that what had just happened?...

"Yeah. Yeah I guess so."

"Not gonna look so scary anymore, huh?" He asked in a challenging way, a way that changed everything. And I smiled back, winking at him and scooping up a snowball, saying right back,

"I'll show you scary, Aster!"

"C'mon then, ya gumbie!" He shouted with a smile, and hopped around me with Sophie, the child's screams of delight filling the forest as the Easter Bunny cradled her in her arms, having a snowball fight with her brother and Jack Frost and me...

And suddenly, everything seemed to click into place. As if this was how it was supposed to be. Should be. And I questioned nothing.

Jamie ran from Jack as I aimed at Aster, nailing him in the ear as he shouted 'Crikey!' and shook it out, setting down Sophie who laughed and ran around him, me turning just as Jamie got in a pretty good hit to my chest, grinning as I laughed and exclaimed,

"You'll pay for that one, kiddo!" I reached down and scooped up a handful of snow, morphing it into a snowball as Jack ran around, trailing his staff across the ground and creating almost twenty snowballs, ready for him and Jamie as I jumped back and laughed.

"No fair!" I shouted, pulling my arm back and throwing it, Jamie ducking and clipping my shoulder with his next one, the snow covering my hoodie and creeping down my neck.

"I make my own rules, wasn't that what you said before the race?" Jack asked slyly, and I pointed to him, opening my mouth to say something witty, when something else happened. Two arms wrapped around my calf and an innocent-sweet voice exclaimed,

"Pretty! Tag!"

And then everything shattered.

I gasped and jumped forward, landing hard on my arms as a pillar of smoke shot up angrily and shocked between me and Sophie, a shout and then a loud 'oof!' as, from behind the translucent screen, I saw Aster jump forward and snatch Sophie away just in time. I panicked, seeing the smoke, hearing Sophie and Jamie, and instantly throwing my arm out, all of the smoke instantly shooting into my hand and sleeve like a vaccume, dissipating in seconds and leaving me with a clear view of what had just happened.

It had been less than three seconds, but it had happened, and it had been terrible, and it broke whatever magic there had just been. It left the shattered remains and fear and shock and horrible, horrible guilt. I shook on the ground, not from the cold but from what had almost happened, propped up on my elbows as Aster cradled Sophie, who was looking around confused and worried. And I wanted to die right then and there.

Because I knew this was going to happen. I fucking knew it. Why the hell did I keep doing these things?! Now...now...

"Astrid-"

"Jack, take 'em home." Aster said seriously, cutting off Jamie as I continued to stare at the stop there the wall of smoke had shot up, knowing that if Aster hadn't been there in time, if he'd been too late... Jack quickly took Sophie, saying something comforting to her as she waved goodbye to me, me not even able to recognize it as I trembled in horror and disgust at what I almost did. I heard the crunching of feet, felt a chill wind, only when I knew they were gone did I dare to stand shakily and slowly, dazed and just...out of it. I couldn't believe...had I really just...I just didn't want her to...

"The bloody hell was that, huh?" His voice was harsh, rough. I'd ruined it. I looked down at my hands in horror as I slowly turned my body towards him, shaking my head numbly. Sophie, how innocent she was.

"I...I didn't mean to..."

"Whadda ya mean ya didn't mean to? Then explain how that happened! Ya know what could have happened to Sophie?!" He accused, me starring wide-eyes at my trembling palms. Yes, yes I knew what could have happened, and the pain and guilt and horror and disgust built up inside of me, pressing against my ribcage and about to shatter it, something darker and hotter twisting in my gut with every words he spoke.

"I was just trying to...she touched me, I didn't want her to-"

"Want her ta touch the bloody smoke? Seems like ya did a crook job of that!" He shouted, accusingly, full of anger and spite, and I took in a breath but it caught, and I tried to fight it but I couldn't, because I kept playing that scene over and over again, her confused face, Aster's smile being wiped out, Jack taking them back, her still waving at me, what I'd almost done, and now this. This. And I'd ruined it, ruined everything, and it had been so good, felt so good, and now...

Now he was shouting at me, and though I was hating myself, though I was disgusted at myself and my fear and everything, though it was all at me, I took it out on him. Because it had all built up inside of me and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I'd held it in for so long, and I thought I could, I thought I was strong enough, but I wasn't. I was too weak to keep it in any longer, and even wrapping my arms around myself wasn't going to help, but I did it anyway, even as I let it out through my mouth, even as I clenched my eyes shut and shouted, fighting back tears,

"I tried not to hurt her! I fucking tried, okay?! She touched me and I wasn't expecting it and so I jumped because I was trying to protect her! I didn't mean for that to happen! You think I can fucking control it?! You think I asked for this?! Do you?! I was having fun! I was happy! They saw me! I would never do that! Never!"

"Then why didja, huh?" Aster spat bitterly, and I flinched, arms tightening, holding it in, I didn't want to break, not like this, but I couldn't help it. He was just there and not there anymore and he had been and I'd taken him away and...and... "I knew takin' ya in was a crook idea. You've been nothin' but trouble since the day I eva' met ya! When have ya eva' done any good, huh?!"

The pain ripped through me, and I had to scream before it over flowed, before something cracked.

"Never! Never, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?"I snapped suddenly and harshly, voice cracking as I looked up at him, his glare back again, almost too much, almost, him reeling back a bit in surprise but I kept going, I had to. "Do you want me to list off to you all the terrible things I've done, huh?! Because they go on for a long fucking time, okay! I never asked for this! I never wanted any of this! I just wanted to be normal and have my family back! I just want my fucking family back!"

His eyes widened, the glare still there, but something else under it that I couldn't see, something darker, something that pulled down the corners of his brows and lips.

"...Family?" He whispered, and I let out a frustrated yell, taking a step towards him and shouting, voice cracking horribly as I let it all out, hurt and cracking and not thinking straight and not able to feel anything but guilt and pain and wanting to cry and about to cry and it all just hurt.

"You don't remember anything, DO YOU?!" I screamed, because I just had to know. Had to know if there really wasn't any part of me he even tried to hang onto. If walking through me was really him walking through me and leaving me behind, all of me, all of everything that had ever happened. I just had to know.

"If ya want me ta rememba' somethin' so bloody bad, then make me." He growled daringly, and in and instant I raised a fist, fast and tight and angry, reeling it almost to the side of my face, smoke twisting around it angrily, darker than the rest, fast and energized and damn-near buzzing, his eyes narrowed and I was about to do it and...

His eyes. The same color. That smile that was still there but wasn't there any more. Because of me. Because I did something horrible. Something I never would have done. And then this. Remembering wasn't the same as being told, or being shown the worst parts. And I laughed. It sounded hollow. It sounded broken and unfamiliar. I looked down, closed my eyes and shook my head, body still trembling, blood buzzing with the aftermath of anger and energy, and I could only manage a whisper, the smoke trailing back into my sleeve, arm dropping limply to my side.

"...After everything you've done..." I shook my head again and looked up at him with a self-depreciating, bitter smile that felt so wrong and painful, "...I couldn't do that to you."

I didn't give him time to say anything else, because I could feel it all reeling back. It was still there. It was still too much. It was still cracking and pushing and I couldn't hold it in anymore, but I couldn't be near him when it happened. I'd done enough.

With a frustrated shout, one that alleviated none of it, just made it worse, I snapped and shot sideways, smoke billowing out behind me and to my sides as I flew fast and with wind whipping past my face, into the treeline and under the darkness of the canopy. Everything was dark. Everything was hidden. But I couldn't keep it up for long. No, I was trembling, I was too weak, everything hurt too much and his words shouted in my head, Sophie's face ghosting into my conscience, Jamie's terrified voice, Aster's glare.

I couldn't pinpoint when I'd fallen off of the smoke, just knew that I was now running on foot, shoving myself away from trees as branches whipped across my face, the cuts healing almost immediately as I ran, tripping, eyes closed, blindly barrelling through until, finally, I opened them just enough to see as small little break in trees, not more than a few feet wide and long, but with a larger rock growing in a corner of it. I couldn't go any further, felt that I was far enough, and slammed my hand onto the side of the rock as I collapsed onto my knees, leaning against the cold surface and doubling over.

I hyperventilated, wheezing and coughing, the pain white-hot and blinding, a cry ripping from my throat as I clenched my ribs as tight as possible, trying to protect myself from erupting, from anything else that would try to hurt me, too. As if arms around my ribs could stop words. Could stop memories. Could erase images. Could remove guilt and pain.

I'd almost hurt Sophie. I wasn't like the others, who couldn't hurt the kids if they wanted to, because they were so kind and loving and innocent and trusting and loving and I just wasn't, I could never be, because I was this freak, this monster. A monster that almost hurt her. A monster that almost hurt Aster. A monster that..that...

I cried out as hands grabbed my shoulder, trying to throw myself back but the hands gripping me roughly and forcing me up until I was almost straight, fighting to curl back up, to hide within myself, everything in my head painful and blinding and my breathing didn't sound right, sounded hitched and pained and forced, as if my body didn't want to breathe anymore but couldn't stop, couldn't decide what it wanted.

The hands ripped at my arms and I cried out again, incoherently and accepting that I'd lost it, that I wasn't going to be collected or strong anymore, that for right now I needed to break down, to get it all out before it ripped out of me.

"Stop it, Astrid!" I heard Pitch's voice snap harshly, and I grit my teeth, throwing my head down as he took my arms away, trying to tell him no, if he did that then I'd break, if he did that it would all just crack past me and flow out. But he instantly yanked me forward until I had my body pressed to his, his legs around me as his arms instantly provided the support I needed. One wrapped so tightly around my ribs that it held everything in. The other laced through the hair on the back of my head and pressing me to him, as if he wanted me there, as if he knew, as if he were going to protect me.

But I didn't deserve it. Not after what I'd done. I let a sob out again and squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to cry but about to, so close to. A chin rested on top of my head, voice soft and familiar, sending a shiver down my spine as the comfort fell over me, and I greedily and brokenly fell into it,

"Shh...Astrid, it's okay...it's okay, it's just me...you don't have to be strong right now...let it out...it's okay." It was elegant and soft and nothing that anyone would ever expect from the Nightmare King, but it was there and I fell into it like it was a blanket, hands instantly finding place on his robe and balling my fists into it, holding on tightly and pressing my face into his chest, his warmth surrounding me and I stopped caring. I just. Stopped. Caring.

I felt the tears roll down my face, and when they started they couldn't stop. I sobbed, breath hitching inward and making broken noises on the way out, tears falling hard with every convulsion of my body, pressing my eyes closed through the tension as it all twisted inside of me, tight and overwhelming, but Pitch held it all in himself. He embraced me tighter, held me tighter with every tremble and shake until I felt like I was secure, like he really wasn't going to let go and I was anchored to him.

And I felt safe, I felt protected. Because he was there, and he was the only one who could hold it in and let it out at the same time like this, he was the only one I could press myself to like a support and not feel afraid, the only one who ever could. Who ever would. It was familiar. Black, the smell of musky books and darkness and caves and silt. And I wracked my body against his as it all ran through me harshly. Aster. Jamie. Jack. Smoke. MiM. Sophie. Monster. Disgust. Ruin. Broken. Guradians. Nightmares. Creatures. Conflicted. Memory. Forgetting. Not able to forget. Tragedy.

"Shh...shh...hush now, it's all going to be okay." He whispered, rocking me back and forth slowly and slightly, a repetitive movement that almost lulled me, almost, until I remembered his words about how I almost hurt her and I never did anything good and he was right and I cried because I never did anything good and-

"Astrid, I've got you...it's okay, hush now, I've got you...I'm right here, I'm not leaving, you're okay...shh, you've got to let it out. Don't think, just let it out. I've got you." Pitch said quietly, urgently and insisting, arm tighter around me and hand in my hair lacing downwards and pressing hard as he moved it down my neck and across my shoulders until I cried out again, that my only form of communication, and he instantly laced it through my hair again and pressed me to him. I just needed to be near him, anchored to him, because if I was alone I'd break and he was keeping me together.

Don't think. Just let it out. So I did.

I cried, make broken sobbing noises, tears running down my face until it was a wet, slick trail down my face, the snow on my hoodie melting between me and Pitch, making me shiver from cold and fear and shock, but at the same time his warmth invading and soothing it, soothing it all with him just being there, just his presence, the fact that it was Pitch and it was okay because, with him, it always had been. He made everything okay by just holding me. Just being there when I needed him, because he knew when I needed him.

I burrowed my face into the space just below his collarbone and he rocked me back and forth, whispering little things that made my spine shiver and me burrow closer until it was impossible, until my tears fell onto his robe, but he didn't seem to care. He was there. And, slowly, he was making it better. My chest and stomach convulsed, pushing out air but no sobs. I didn't have the energy left for that. It had all run out, and now I just felt empty and stretched out, loose and tired. Soon I wasn't burrowing myself towards him, but resting myself, the tears falling as an afterthought and soon not at all.

My muscles relaxed tiredly, and my breathing was normal, spare a few hiccups every now and again. Pitch's strong arm slowly, gradually, softened, until he could run his fingertips up and down my spine like he always did. It was familiar and comforting, and sent a calming shiver up and down my neck and back. Light fingertips creating a trail as the hand in my hair moved down, pressing to the back of my neck and cooling it a bit.

My hands in his robe relaxed, and I even had the mind to smooth out the wrinkles, running my hands tiredly up and down his chest until I just rested them there, closing my eyes and breathing normally, never wanting sleep more than right here, right now.

"Astrid, we need to go back." Pitch whispered, and I barely had the energy to shake my head, rubbing against his chest as he continued stroking my back like a child, but I didn't care. Didn't have the energy. "If you're not by by the time the party starts, Toothiana will have a fit... It will be fine. It doesn't start for a few hours. You will go back and take a nap, and I will be there with you. You will wake up, that woman-bird will torture you, and then you will spend ten minutes amusing me with your dazzling social skills, and then return to bed.

"You wont see him. They wont hate you. They, of all people, will understand. You don't even have to talk about it. But you must get back, if you stay out here you'll catch a cold, I don't care how immortal you are." His words held room for no argument, as if I could fight against them anyway. I literally felt like someone had wrung me out and now had no room for anything. I'd get feeling back, like a numb arm during sleep, but for right now I just didn't feel I had enough energy to fight against him.

Besides, a nap sounded nice.

I leaned back, his hands both shifting to hold my face, and he did something he'd never done before. Partially because I'd never let him see me cry, but also because he'd never been this...well, intimate. It was odd, if I could think anything at the moment, but something small. Something comforting. It felt right. He wiped my tears from my face with his thumbs until my face was relatively dry, eyes downcast.

"Look at me." He whispered, and I did, just from the sudden urgency of his voice. His eyes were insistent, serious, and I was surprised at how incredibly convincing they truly were. I'd never seen this look on his face. 100% urgent. He held my face harder in his palms, making sure I heard, making sure this got through to me.

"You are not a monster." His voice was surprisingly earnest, and left no room for argument. I didn't want to argue. It rustled that old, odd feeling in my chest. Something once foreign and terrifying. Now, feeling nothing but fatigue...it felt nice. It felt warm, and comforting, as if letting me know the world hadn't ended. Not yet. I was safe here.

"Do you understand?" He demanded, and I looked at him a bit curiously, wondering where this sudden seriousness was coming from, but slowly nodded all the same. He relaxed, as if the answer were something he was desperately hoping for, and then brought one hand out to his side, a wave of shadow, not nightmare sand, billowing out like a curtain and enveloping us.

The darkness was soothing, and I rested my head on his chest again. His arms wrapped around me in a loose but rooting hold, reassuring me that he was still there. Because I needed him there. Because he always was, and always would be. And I might regret this later, when I looked back and felt embarrassed, but he wouldn't. He understood. He didn't need me to be strong right now, and understood that I wasn't going to be. And that's all I needed. A Boogeyman to protect me when everything fell.

"I hate you." He whispered, but it wasn't harsh, wasn't angry. It was almost, impossibly, a term of affection. A nickname almost. Something between us. And I relaxed and sighed, nodding as I muttered, needing that nap now as he moved us through shadows, feeling him lacing them together to make a path,

"I hate you too, Boogeyman."