Chapter 10

Melancholy

A/N: IMPORTANT NOTICE:

To those readers who weren't able to get the conversation of Jellal with his other self, well I'll explain briefly. His other self said Erza would forget everything that has happened during her fever especially if it's concerning about Jellal and it's been that way since forever. But Jellal managed to escape from his other self, acknowledging Erza's feelings for him... and thus the other Jellal disappeared for a while.

Another... I wanted to play more so Jellal will be taking the narration this time. Now his thoughts shall be known even deeper... and so with these, on with the chapter!

I was awaken by the blinding light of the sun being reflected through the wide glass window, bathing me in its shining glory but no heat contact with my skin. It was gentle for once that my skin wasn't used to this kind of feeling. I slept through the whole night sitting on the floor with the blood on my hand dried from the long period of time being exposed to air.

My head ached for some reason and I don't know why, but I'm glad that my other self had disappeared for now. I'm back to my usual self if I may say so, though I'm not pretty sure what's my usual self. I don't know if the real me is the kind and clumsy Jellal or the sadist and dominant one, but whatever it is my mind can't grasp on it now since the ache in my head is killing me every time I think of something too much.

I sighed and tried to steady my legs as I lift up my weight and stood up. I stumbled a bit as I was walking to the bathroom, with my head being dizzy with all the pain going on. As soon I was able to get to my porcelain white sink, I supported myself with my left arm on the porcelain and my right palm steadying my head. This ache wasn't normal and I may have a hunch what is the cause, but I only hope I'm wrong.

With a cold shower and a brief nap on my bed, I was able to snap out of the pain and come back to my full senses. With the sun this high up I'm guessing it is noon and Himiko and Shiro must be back. Those twins must already have treated Erza and Shiro knows that me waking up this late means I don't want to be disturbed. Actually he never wakes me up; he just comes to my door and never enters. His entire job to me is reminding stuff I must do, knowing that I'm awake beforehand. I guess the other day when he sent Erza to my room to "wake me up", he was teasing me and her. That kid can be scary sometimes but he can entirely be sweet in a way to his dear friend Himiko.

Stretching out of bed, I yawned and headed my way downstairs. My footsteps were silent and no noise I made as I walked down the hallway, it's like I was a ghost. The whole house was silent actually, no noise or any other movements it made. It was still and lifeless just like back then. It was like a cage, a prison that kept people in it from seeing the rest of the world.

The dining hall smelled of roasted chicken and other foods that I couldn't seem to point out. It's been a while since I smelled something so good that I actually had an appetite for. As I walked in quietly, I saw the scarlet haired mage sipping from a cup her hot tea. She had a cool expression on her face and her whole body was relaxed. I tried to make some noise as I walked, hoping she would notice me. She set down the cup on a porcelain saucer making a tink sound before turning her head to my direction.

"Good noon, Jellal. You slept for an awfully long time." Her voice was back to the stern and cool tone. She was back to the knight figure she had.

"Yes, I was suffering from a headache but it's gone now." I pulled my chair back and sat down also having a calm face.

"Well, that's good to hear. And also sorry for any trouble I may have caused you during my fever. I don't actually remember anything from it other than me collapsing near a cliff." Again another sip she took from her porcelain cup.

I also reached for the teapot pouring tea to an empty cup in front of me. It was Jasmine tea, one of my favourites. It had this relaxing aroma that can clear my mind from something and the warmth of it spreads to the rest of my body making the feeling of going numb impossible.

"No, it's alright. You haven't caused any trouble to me or anyone." I smiled faintly to be sure that she can't see it through my cup.

With the silence of lunch finally passed I saw Erza sitting outside, staring into the forest so deeply. She was quiet and yet neither the rays of the sun nor the blows of the wind swayed her from her position. This made me want to tease her a bit.

I walked over to her, making myself a ghost not wanting to be sensed. Her armour is not on but I could sense an invisible wall around her. She was not as bare as the last time I remembered her. She changed through these years and I just noticed this now. Well I also changed and it's inconsiderably large.

With a feeling of loneliness spreading throughout my body, I unknowingly reached my arms towards her and embraced her small body wrapping it around mine. She was delicate and her skin was really so smooth. Her hair smelled nice and as it brushed on my skin, a sense of tingly could be felt.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was not too loud rather it was soft and cute. It had the sense of shock and embarrassment in it, just the way I knew Erza. I wanted to tear through her wall, her amour and embrace her naked and true feelings for myself.

"Let me be selfish once for my life. Just like this, I only want you to be with me and no one else. Just for now, only look at me and think of me." I whispered to her ear, my breath bouncing back to me as it hit her skin making her jump a bit.

"What do you mean?" She tried to turn her head back, making her glance at me but I stopped her, though I was able to see a cute and blushing face from my point of view.

"Don't turn your head back. Right now tell me what kind of Jellal do you know?" I hugged her tightly making my grip hold her in place so she couldn't see my worried expression.

"Well, the Jellal I know is a clumsy and a bad liar. He is not honest and has a very wacked out personality." Those words were like a rock weighing a hundred ton falling on my head. "But other than that he's helpful, shy, caring, and I would always see him trying his best most of the time regardless of any situation or problem. He's a very mysterious and peculiar man but I like him for that."

I could feel my heart racing and thumping as she let go of those words. To be honest I was scared that she might say she hates me but she was looking rather closely at me all the time. When we were young, I was always looking at her and only her. I tried every way for her to look at me in a different way but things went for the worst that one last time I got to see her smiling face.

I let in a large amount of air and hugged her tightly in the midst of silence. I summoned a lot of courage proving to my other self that I can overcome my fear. And I know that I can start changing if Erza was one of my aspirations. I turned her head to mine and pulled her closer. Locking my lips with hers, I kissed her in a rather sweet way and I asked for entrance in her mouth.

Slipping my tongue inside, I tasted her for the first time without getting any help from my other self. She was sweet and warm. She was so soft; my tongue pressing against hers was too much for me to take that any more I could taste her other than just her sweet mouth. I need to have control so one day I may not break her and awaken again my other self.

Pulling a cease to the delicious and pleasuring kiss, I pulled back and hugged her one last time. I tucked her silky soft scarlet hair behind her left ear and whispered with a husky voice, making my breath go all out into her ear.

"Then you better keep that image of me Erza. I'm not really sure if I'll change or not but I'm really glad you'll remember me that way. I hope it'll last until the day I may disappear from you but with the time we'll spend, I'll make sure that no regrets will be made until our last time."

I pulled back and kissed her forehead, stroking her hair with my fingers. I breathed in deeply and walked back inside with a tear sliding down my cheek. It hurts to know that all of these may disappear one day and she may forget me again. I'll just go back to being a ghost, that no one knows and I'll go back to being forgotten if it means she can be saved from me. But with this time ticking fast, I'll make sure I'll make no regrets until the last time. I love her and that's all it matters if it was another different case. But I realized to love her is also to let go, and one day I'll just set her free again, from this horrible past and from me.

I'm afraid what I may do to her and I don't want to hurt her to the point of breaking her. I love her and it hurts that one day I have to finally say goodbye, but I want to see her smiling face the last time we will have. Until then, I'll make no regrets.

This is a melancholy.

-End of Chapter-

A/N: You have just read a glimpse of the ending of the story. But hey, it was Jellal's view so who knows how it'll end.

Oh yeah, so do you guys want more of Jellal's narration?

Review please... :D

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