A/N: Here you are, the second last chapter. I'm very pleased with how this turned out and hope you all enjoy it. Hope the characters are still in character in this one. It was sorta hard to write.
Disclaimer: Not mine. you can have them back after this is done . :( The song is '18 days' by Saving Abel. Also the song name gave me the idea for the chapter title. I don't own this song, the title, or the next chapters song and title.!
"What are you doing here?" Kate asked him.
"I came to see you, thought we should talk...unless you're on your way out?" he told her.
"Not anymore. Come in," she said to him and moved aside so he could enter the apartment. Relief and fear flooded through her body. She was nervous again.
Gibbs walked through her front door and went to sit on her couch. He turned to look at her as she explained to him by saying, "I was about to drive over to talk to you. I think we need to sort some things out."
She wanted so bad to just go over and touch him, hug him and have him offer her reassurance. She didn't do that though, she didn't think she was ready to do that just yet. Not until she found out what was happening. He could very well be here to tell her that things really were over.
"Guess we both had the same idea then," Gibbs started. He hesitated before he continued and motioned for Kate to come sit next to him on her couch. When she was sitting by his side he continued.
"Look, I'm sorry. I was aggravated about today and I guess I took it out on you. But what I told you, it's just how I feel. I don't feel like I can protect you and...."
"Don't start that again," Kate interjected. "That got us where we are right now."
"Can you let me finish?"
"Depends. If you came here to tell me you can't protect me, then no. I don't have the energy to fight with you again, so you can just leave now if that's the case."
"Kate. I can't help how I feel ! You told me that when we went out for drinks that first night, remember that? You said even if you could change how you felt about me you probably still wouldn't. Well, it's how I feel and if I could change it, I don't know if I would. I want to protect you, but I'd probably just change how I'm such a bastard about it."
Kate didn't say anything so he continued.
"I've been thinking a lot tonight about you and me. I do love you, Kate, more than anything. I know that and don't doubt it so neither should you. But I have this...this fear that keeps nagging at me, telling me that I'm going to lose you. I'm afraid so much sometimes that it keeps me awake at night. I haven't been afraid in a long time about stuff like this, Katie. But I think about the happiness we've created and shared with each other, and I think about the happiness I had with Shannon and Kelly, and I just think 'What if I lose it all again?'. I couldn't bear to lose you. The pain would be too much."
"I love you too, Jethro, more than I ever loved anyone before and I don't think I could live without you anymore, not after this past year. Like you said, it would hurt too much, but I have this, I don't know what you'd call it.... feeling I suppose... that you don't trust me. I would never try to hurt you, ever in a million years, you should know that." Kate's voice was beginning to break and was heavy with tears that threatened to flow.
"I'm sorry if I made it seem like I don't trust you. I do trust you, I told you about my family and I told you I trusted you. It's everyone else I don't trust. When you left, I was too angry to react, but I realized how much it hurt and how much I need you."
"It hurt me too, probably me more than it hurt you. I never wanted to walk out on you like that. But I was so angry and upset about that day, and how we were acting and how you weren't fighting and shut down on me. This was really our first big fight. Sure, we'd disagreed before but we talked to each other and worked through it. You didn't want to talk and you didn't want to fight and that scared me and I....I...." Kate couldn't finish her sentence, she was crying too hard. Gibbs took her in his arms and held her.
As he held her, they both realized that her stereo was still on and a new song had started to play. They both listened carefully to the words.
'Its been 18 days since I'd look at myself
I don't wanna have to change, if I don't then no one will
Is it my state of mind or is it just everything else
I don't wanna have to be here, I don't understand it now
Cause its been 18 days ,since I first held you
But to me it feels just like it feels like a lifetime
I'm trying hard to re-arrange, some say it's the hardest thing to do
But that's another 18 days without you
Time after time I've been through this, you show me what it means to live
You give me hope when I was hopeless as my days fade to night
I remember that state of mind, I'm soaring straight into your heart
And I'll fly high
Cause it's been 18 days since I first held you
But to me it feels just like, it feels like a lifetime
I'm trying hard to re-arrange some say it's the hardest thing to do
But that's just too many days without you
And I know what they say about all good things
Will they come to an end, but I'll fight this time
So that we might have a chance at this
Cause it's been 18 days since I'd look at myself
I don't wanna have to change, if I don't then no one will
Cause its been too many days since I first held you
But to me it feels just like, it feel like a lifetime
I'm trying hard to re-arrange some say it's the hardest thing to do
But that's just too many days without you
And I know what they say about all good things
Will they come to an end, but I'll fight this time
So that we might have a chance at this'
"Nice song," Gibbs whispered. "Fits the moment, don't you think?"
"Yeah, it does."
Gibbs pulled away from Kate to look at her face. He took in her red rimmed eyes and wiped away her fresh tears.
"I'm sorry about all this, Katie. I never wanted to hurt you. I never thought I would hurt you like this. I want to fight for you, I want to fight for us. I always did, I never lied to you about that- you
have to believe me. I was just too much of a bastard before to try. Forgive me?"
"I'm very sorry too. I never wanted to leave you. I do believe you and I'm glad you still want to fight. I want to fight too, but you have to promise me something."
"What's that?"
"Trust me. Trust me to protect myself. You taught me well on how to be a good NCIS agent and how to do just that. You're here with me now, not off overseas somewhere, so you are there for me like you weren't before."
"I'll try my best, how's that?"
"That's all I can ask for. I love you. Always have, always will."
"I love you too, Katie. Forever and always." And he leaned towards her to kiss away all their pain.