So sorry it took so long to get this chapter out..there's like 3 or 4 different versions and I was never happy with any of them and I couldn't decide so I ended up closing my eyes and pointing in the end otherwise I don't think this chapter would have ever come out. So here you go my lovelies…Sorry. The next one will be better…

Unbated…all mistakes are my own

I don't own any of the characters..if I did things would be a whole lot different.

WARNINGS: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/ATTEMPT

I crack my eyes open after what feels like years of sleeping and look around trying to remember what happened. I'm lying in my bed with the curtains drawn but daylight is shining through, how long was I out for, I wonder to myself. I look around my room when I realize there is someone else in the room with me, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding when I realized it was my sister Maggie sitting in the corner of the room in momma's old rocking chair. I roll my eyes and try to sit up but that was a bad idea as my head starts swimming and I fall out of the bed with a loud thump. Maggie starts awake and rushes to my side, "What are you doing?" she asks me. "I have to use the bathroom," I croak out my mouth feeling like I have marbles in it. "Ok, let me help you." She tells me. When I get in the bathroom I brace myself on the sink and look at my reflection in the mirror, what the hell happened, I wonder and then it comes flashing back at me.

RICK'S ALIVE

I nearly collapse again and Maggie rushes in the room asking if I was ok. "Beth, what is going on with you?" she demands. My voice won't work and all I can do is shake my head as I start sobbing uncontrollably. She just holds me and rubs her hand up and down my back whispering in my ear that "everything will be ok, that I will be ok." She steers me back into my bedroom and helps me lay down in the bed again. She gets back up and goes over to the dresser where there is a pitcher of water and pours me a glass and then sits on the edge of my bed helping me sit up again so I can drink the water. She's rubbing my arm trying to get me to calm down and it helps after a while, I stop crying and she asks me again what is going on. "Rick, Rick is alive." I manage to say after a while, she looks at me in confusion," How do you know Rick?"

"He's, he's the officer that helped me after Travis attacked me last summer," I whisper hoping she doesn't connect the dots. She stares at me for a little while confused and then it dawns on her, "he's the guy you've been dating?" I know it's useless to deny it, I nod my head and start crying, "I thought he was dead, he was shot and in a coma." "And then the world ended and I couldn't get back to him, and then the news reports said that Atlanta was bombed." "That's the day you fainted in the kitchen?" Maggie says. "Yes, I was holding out hope he would be ok…" "Oh Beth, did you know he is married and has a boy?" I can't even look up at Maggie's face; all I can do is nod as I start hyperventilating. That's when Daddy burst through the door asking for Maggie's help with Carl, when he saw that I was upset he stopped in his tracks. "I'm fine, I'm fine, go on Maggie. Help Daddy, Carl needs our help." I tell her. She looks at me with a sad face and asked quietly if I was sure. All I can do nod, "Sure Maggie, go please."

I walk back into the bathroom, and just stand in front of the mirror staring at my reflection. I stand there for what seems like hours but I'm sure it's been just a couple of minutes. I feel so frustrated and scared of what my family will think of me when they find out about Rick and I, maybe we can keep it from them I think, what is Rick gonna think about me? Are you fucking joking Beth, the first time you see Rick you're gonna freak out and anyone who sees will know why, you're so transparent. I scream in frustration and pound my fist against the mirror a couple of times till it breaks. I stare down at the broken glass lying on the floor and in the sink; one quick swipe against my wrist and it will be all over. I'm starting to think that maybe that's the best thing that could happen for everyone that way I won't break up Rick and his family and I won't upset Daddy and Maggie. I take a piece of glass and swipe it across both my wrists and I slide down against the wall waiting till I pass out. I start blacking out and I vaguely hear Maggie screaming for Daddy to get some towels and bandages.

I wake up a while later in my bed with my wrists wrapped and a weight sitting beside me on my bed. I roll over and there is Rick, sitting there watching me sleep. "Hi," he says as he grabs my hand and smiles. "Hi," is all I can say back.