Everything Starts Somewhere

Chapter 10

She was all warm and cosy lying in the hospital bed. Finally she had arrived after the worst two days of her life. She'd been jostled from stretcher to bed, ambulance to plane, plane to bed again. But now she was here. Safe, warm and pain free. She was struggling to open her eyes. She hadn't yet and didn't intend to for a while…. she just let the comfort take over, the painkillers to work and drifted off to sleep again.

When she became semi conscious a while later she heard voices. Low quiet, concerned. She heard Charles' voice and wanted to wake up to talk to him, but was still so tired, it was comforting to know he was there. Later she promised herself she would talk to him, in a while after another little sleep, and she succumbed. As Molly drifted off she heard the doctors reassure Charles that she was ok, and she'd wake when she was ready, he was finding it difficult she could tell by the tone in his voice though. She wanted to comfort him, tell him she was alright, but she thought she had best listen to the doctor's advice. Yes Molly thought that was a good idea she'd wake up when she was ready.

The sensation of her hand being held and squeezed frequently brought Molly around the next time she was aware of her environment. The hand holding thing was a bit annoying, she wanted to sleep more. She cracked her eyes to see who the guilty person doing this to her was and her heart skipped a beat, she was greeted by a mop of brown curly untidy hair bowed down, bent over on her bed. It was Charles.

"Hey you." She tried to say. Her throat dry and the words came out choked. It was enough of a sound though to disturb Charles. To get him to look up at her.

"Molly. Hey you. Oh my love." His eyes danced in the dim lights of the room, they were full of tears. She could see that some had even made their way down his face. He looked tired, but he looked happy. A wide smile spreading across his weary face.

"Hey." She tried again. Her voice a bit stronger this time. She moved her hand up to touch his face, his stubble reassuringly scratching her palm. A lovely sensation, but it made her realise he must have been here for a while. "You ok?"

"Me?" His eyes shot up at her question. "Oh God only you Dawes could ask me that now. Bloody hell Molly forget me. How are you?"

"Happy to see you…" She smiled licking her lips. "And thirsty. Where am I?" She asked confused about the room she was in.

Charles gave her a drink and filled her in about her dramatic events of the past 48hours, pleased she was awake enough to be curious. As he explained she couldn't help but feel surreal about it all. Last thing she remembered was being sick in her quarters, and now here she was lying in a hospital bed, back in the UK, with Charles, the man she had missed so much, holding her hand. She hadn't seen him for nearly five months, and although sleep was still her driving need she was so happy to see him and forced herself to stay awake for a little longer.

He explained to her all the bits she had missed, or just couldn't remember, admitting that they all had been worried about her for a time, but the doctors now felt things had improved. She was going to be just fine, a smile broke out across his face when he said those words. Relief, now she was awake in knowing she was out of danger. All the time he talked to her, he held her hand and stroked her hair, not truly believing she was back. Not exactly home or the way he wanted her to come back from tour, but at least she was here with him.

"Are you mad at me?" She quietly asked moving her cheek to rest in his hand as he cupped her face.

"Mad? Why would I be mad Molly I'm just pleased you're home? You're safe."

"Cause I fucked up again." She said. "I went off on tour all independent like, and yet here I am, all broken."

"Molly my love. You're not broken. You had a burst appendix. You most certainly did not fuck this up."

"Really? You're not mad." She had been waiting, half expecting for Captain Stern Face making a reappearance as it used to on tour. But it hadn't.

"No I'm not mad. Pleased you're going to be ok. And even more pleased that I'm going to get you home sooner than we expected." He smiled at her and watch a tear tickle out of both her eyes. "Hey. You're safe. It's ok." He soothed and sat himself down on the bed facing her. He saw her wince as his weight shifted her in the bed. "Sorry." He offered, but did not move. Instead just sat there holding her face in both of his hands catching the odd stray tear that rolled down her face, and brushing them away with his thumbs.

He stayed with her for a while. Shifting back into his chair as he could see her eyes start to droop. Eventually she fell asleep and he used the time to call her parents again and update them as well as his. Elvis and Georgie, his friends, had left hours ago, only staying until they knew Charles had pulled himself together and that Molly was going to be ok. Then Charles had instead that they leave; he could only imagine how tired Elvis must have been, and how he'd want to be with his girl.

Once all his calls had been made he sat alone with his thoughts, watching over Molly as she slept. Guarding her almost, and that is how he stayed for the next few days. Loyal, forever staying at her side as much as he could.

"You ok?" She asked. They were both lying on their backs in his bedroom days later. Wide awake, silent. Staring at the ceiling.

"Yes why wouldn't I be?" He quietly answered. A standard automatic response.

She rolled over onto her side, grimacing slightly and she was still sore. "You know why. Today... I just thought?" She offered.

"Yeah I know Molly. I know. Just thinking that's all." And he rolled over to face her. Moving his hand to her face gently cupping it and slowly tracing his thumb over her check. She accepted he looked sad.

"I know...me too". She placed her hand over his and smiled, and big beautiful smile that mirrored his sadness. They both had the same memories to process.

"A year today." He whispered. "A whole year."

"Yeah…. can't stop thinking about it. Like it was yesterday. Still hear everything, still remember the smells, you lying there, the blood."

He shifted closer to her and pulled her into him so her head rested just below his shoulders. It was still the middle of the night. They both should be asleep. Molly was still recovering; he had work in the morning. But sleep evaded them. Too many memories of that day in their nuts.

"Thank you." He kissed her head, and she looked up in surprise. She was unsure as to what she was being thanked for. "A whole year ago." He continued not clarifying his words.

"What about you? Do you think about it much? The shooting?" She asked, almost a pointless question, she knew he did.

"Yeah. A lot. All the time whenever my side or leg hurts or I hear certain noises. It's ok most days…. it's fine. Others it just takes a lot of effort." He was being totally honest with her.

"You can always talk to me you know?"

"I know Molly. A year ago today you saved my life on that bridge and I'll never stop thanking you. I know I'm lucky. To be here and to have you. My life…well either way I wouldn't have one without you."

They lay there just holding one another, remembering. Each having different memories of that day. Each having different versions of the events that unfolded, that bonded them.

"You know what though Charles?" She smiled at him, and saw his face register a puzzled look. "It may be a year since you got shot... but it's also a year since you first kissed me! That's a good memory to celebrate. Isn't it?"

He chuckled, she was right. "It most certainly is Dawes. Just hope that wasn't the cause of the fuck up though. Still have my doubts." His face clouded over again in worry.

"Don't. It wasn't." Gently but forcefully she repeated the words she had said to him numerous times over the past year, her and plenty of others. "It was a crazy situation…. Smurf was unwell, we didn't know. Anything would have tipped him."

"I know. I know. We've said it all before… but…. I still have doubts…little ones some days…bigger ones other."

"Hope you don't have bleeding doubts about kissing me?" She teased nudging him playfully in the ribs.

"Never Molly best thing I ever did. In all that…right or wrong…I'll never regret it."

"To right." She smiled, then silence again. "It will be a year since Smurf died soon too."

"I know. You ok?" He pulled her in tighter and placed a kiss on her head.

"I will be. I guess I am. I'm here with you. Where I belong. I'm sad but that's ok 'cause at least I'm remembering him and all the good times. He was a good mate."

"He was. He was Molly."

"Think we should try to sleep?" She asked.

"Yes. I guess." But he knew he wouldn't not for a long while. His head still reliving the story of his shooting. The bridge, the sense of failure. The heat, the feelings of pain. The nothingness, the sense of loss. He knew he had to turn this off, these thoughts, he needed to bring his mind back to happier things.

His mind thankful drifted back to a few weeks ago when he had brought Molly home. She had only spent four days in the hospital, once her drains were out and she started to respond to oral antibiotics she was discharged. He drove her home to his, and she had slept the entire three hour journey. He laughed at the memory he had of that journey, he'd expected for them to catch up on news from her tour, but instead she had just slept.

As he held her now in bed he noticed her breathing had changed and he could tell she had fallen asleep again, this time in his arms, leaving him uncomfortable but reluctant to move positions in case he woke her. His leg ached as did his stomach, though he was unsure if it was true pain, or just through the memories that were starting to torment his mind again. At some stage he must have moved, reliving that day, he jerked her, because suddenly she woke startled.

"What's going on?" She sleepily asked, then noticing that there were tracks of dried tears that at some stage, since they last talked, had rolled down his face. "You ok? Had any sleep?" She looked at the bedroom clock it was still very early.

"No. Not really. Too early to get up, so thought I'd just lie here with you for a while. Sorry I woke you."

"Don't be. That's what I'm here for. You want to talk?"

"No….not about the shooting. Think I've done enough of that for a life time." He moved her out of his arms trying to regain some circulation, ease to his joints. He turned on the bedside lamp and sat himself up.

Molly watched him, appreciating her luck, admiring his toned body, desire suddenly starting to rise inside her. Since her return they hadn't been wholly intimate with one another. Her abdominal incision still tender and her energy levels zero by the end of the day. He had been understanding, caring, concerned, but frequently joked that he bloody hoped her mojo would come home from tour soon. Now looking at him Molly was starting to feel that maybe it was returning. Its leave of absence coming to an end.

He caught her watching him but was too caught up in his own thoughts; own agenda, to think that her look was anything except one of pure concern.

"It could have all been so different." He sighed. Head rolling backwards forcibly onto the head board, banging the wood against the wall. "I could have lost everything. Instead I gained." His eyes were tight shut to keep the tears in. "I got you. I've got Sam. I've still got the Army. I'm one of the lucky ones."

She sat up and moved herself to kneel to the front of him, getting eye contact from him as she changed her position. His eye were red and looked tired when he did open them.

"You know Smurf….. just before you came into the bunker…. told me that if he'd called me after... well you know... Indian take away night... then things might have been different with me and him. Him and me might have happened."

Charles raised his eyes at her mentioning her and Smurf's liaison. She continued though. "I told him then...I knew…that nothing would have been different. There would never have been a 'me and him'." She could she he wasn't understanding her so she continued. "It's not like that with you though Charles… never has been from day one. Whatever happened I always had this feeling, always knew, whatever happened it was always gonna be me and you."

"Really?" He asked. "Never any doubt? Even when I didn't tell you about Rebecca and Sam?"

"You hurt me…. you know you did. But even then I knew I'd forgive you…. once I'd calmed down and all that. Once we were away from war and its shit. I knew. Still know."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't. Stop it. That's not why I'm saying this." She forcefully spoke at him. "No more 'sorrys'. You've nothing to say sorry for. It was what it was…. but we're here now…. and… maybe we had to have all that shit happen so something good could come out at the end. Me and you."

He leaned forward and pulled her into his lap. Her legs curling either side of his waist.

"God Molly I love you so much. You're right if that's what we had to go through to get here, to have you in my life then I'd do it all again. You're still the last thing I want to see."

"Ditto"

And then she brought her head towards his and rested their two foreheads together. They stayed that way for minutes staring into each other eye, talking to each other souls.

Eventually Molly pulled away, seeing the questioning look on his face and said. "What?"

He went all serious, pulled himself up and drew in a breath, and she knew, she just knew. He was going to ask, right here, right now. She knew he had been building up to it for weeks. She was expecting it, and was surprised that he hadn't yet done it.

Before her tour she would not have known how to answer him, but now she did. No longer would her answer to his question upset him, but would make him happy, and a year on from their first ever kiss, she thought it was an appropriate time, the right time for him to ask her.

"Molly?" He pulled her hand into his, playing with her fingers. "I was wondering. We get on well don't' we?"

She giggled at this. "Get on well? Yeah I should think so Charles."

He looked bashful at her teasing, cleared his throat and continued.

"I've something to ask you Molly. It serious."

"Ok…go on...I'll be serious." She owed it to him to let him do this his way.

From the moment she walked through his front door he knew he never wanted her to leave again. Stubborn though she was and an awful patient, he loved having her in his home. He had asked before about her moving in permanently but she never seemed to take it seriously. Now he wanted to make it official, but he knew he had to broach the subject with caution and diplomacy, so not to insult Molly's independence.

"Shit. The thing is you know I love you. Missed you like crazy when you were away. I've love having you here...being the first thing I see each day."

"Me too."

"Molly will you please.…what do you think…it's about time….will you please move in with me…please?"

She squeaked with delight, balancing herself forward so she rested perfectly in his groin and in his arms. "Course I bleeding will. What took you so long to ask me?" Giggling at his surprised look.

"You will? Fuck that's great. I mean I hoped but I didn't dare…. think you'd say yes…not without a bit of a fight. You mean it?"

"Of course I do. I love you. Love being here. I don't need my own room, own space anymore. Being away from you these past five months has shown me what I need….I need you."

"Ok so when?" It couldn't come soon enough for him. To him this was their start of their everything together.

"Well I'm here now, don't have much stuff left in my room to be honest. I'm sorry Charles I don't have much to add. Probably one car load if that!"

"Lovely. So tomorrow after work we'll go to yours and you can watch me pack up your stuff. You can put the paperwork in too requesting to live off camp." He jumped up out of the bed, first gently lifting Molly off his lap. He was gloriously naked and the effects of her being so close to him very obvious.

Giggling at his excitement she pointed at her effect on a certain part of his anatomy. "Err Charles…what you doing over there when that obviously wants to be back over here?"

He looked down at his arousal and smirked, then catching the look in her eyes said.

"What? It's just you know if I stay in bed I won't be able to stop myself Molly."

"I know. I don't want you too...stop that is. I think my mojo has just come back from tour!" She giggled pulling back the covers inviting him in.

He jumped into the bed and lay alongside her. "Well thank God for that... it's been a bloody long tour Dawes!"

He stripped off her sleep wear quickly, needing to make sure she didn't change her mind. To be this close and to be stopped would be torture. It had been nearly six months since he'd had true intimacy with Molly and he ached. Obviously he'd had release when she was away, selfishly when he was alone, and since she come back they'd 'messed around', but they hadn't been 'together' together and that's what he ached for. To feel Molly wrapped around him, to feel all of her in his arms, captivated by the spell they had over one another. To have that physical release with her that made him feel complete, loved. Something he had only ever felt with her and with no one else.

Once she was naked he stared to kiss her from her lips downwards. Placing gentle, slow, wet kisses that chilled her skin once his lips had left their spot to move further down her body. Their absence making his sensual journey even more tantalising as she became aware of his destination.

At one stage he stopped, just below her waist and stared up at her adoringly. Gentle with his eyes asking permission to continue. To pleasure her with his kisses even further down her body.

"Charles." She moaned. "I don't know if I can wait out. I want to have you now, I've missed you."

"Molly." He spoke though his mouth never left her skin, the vibration of his words stimulating her sensitive area even more. She arched her body in reply, gaining more contact with his lips. He grinned though no one could see, his face buried within her. "Let's take this slow. I want to adore you...now... and... forever..."

He continued with his ministrations, lovingly and diligently and Molly moaned and begged for him not to stop, ever and thrashed her body around as she reached her climax. Her body responded ever so powerfully to him, emotions being released in her that had for so long been repressed.

When her world finally returned to a degree of normality. When her vision stop displaying thousands of million stars bursting through the night. When her breathing had return to a slow pant, only then did she trust herself to speak.

He'd waited patiently for her to return back to some degree of semblance. Loving the sight of his girl totally overcome, spent with the pleasure he'd given her. Resting next to her all the time, cooing words of love into her ear and gently stoking her hair, until she was ready. She turned to look at him.

"Charles. That was..." She couldn't finish, her smile breaking out across her face stopping her from forming the words.

"I take it that was ok?" He laughed at her face, beads of moisture on her brow, flushed and still slightly dazed.

"Bleeding ok? That was perfect." She turned her still gently quivering body to his, moulded herself to him and kissed him. Deeply and with purpose. Her hands trailing down his body and taking hold of his hardness. She knew her man and knew he needed to be rewarded for his attention to her.

Hearing him groan at her touch, almost feeling the ache he had for her, she rolled over to grab the condoms from the bedside cabinet, apologising for their use due to the antibiotics.

He made no comment watching her take control of him and rolling it down on to him. He threw his head back at once stage biting his lip, trying to hold on to the modicum of self-control he had left.

He then took hold of her hand and then went to lay her down underneath him. Holding her eyes in his but she resisted, and it surprised him.

"No Charles. Me on top. Just in case my scar... and that."

He understood she was still tender from her operation. He lifted her again and positioned her onto his lap. As she entered him all the bad thoughts images this day, this anniversary had brought him washed away.

As he felt her sink onto him, as he felt her contract around him he knew his Molly was home. He was her home and she was his. His released proved to him that the sadness they had endured would never permeate into their love or destroy it. The past they had would only strengthen it.

"You ok?" He asked a while later. Their love making had been physical, intense and beautiful. He needed to know though he hadn't hurt her in his quest to devour all she had to offer him.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She sighed holding on to his body as she lay stretched out on his chest. The bed sheet scrunched around them. Both lying there content, the spring dawn started to creep into the bedroom. "I'm bleeding great Charles. What a home coming. That was a great way to celebrate our first kiss anniversary too." She said.

He kissed her hair. "Yes it was. Thank you for coming back to me. Then and now"

"I always will. Don't worry. Just make sure you always do too. Never leave me." Her last words we also whispered, heartfelt. He understood neither of them could consider a future without the other. They were too connected, they were each other's everything.

Charles didn't hang round, something that amused Molly, the next night as promised he met her at her camp to clear out her room. As he stood there in her space, a space he had only been in a few times before, he appreciated that this might have been Molly's world but there were bits of him all around it. Photos of him, and of them both stuck around her mirror above her sink, the formal photo of them at the New Year's Eve ball, a body spray of his she loved the smell of, several of his t-shirts in her laundry basket. All evidence that Molly had him in her life wherever she was. He'd never stayed over in Molly's room, not because he didn't want to, it just there was never a need. They had more privacy at his, and besides as Molly joked the last thing her female corridor neighbours needed seeing on waking up for the loo in the middle of the night was a view of Captain gorgeous walking down the corridor in his boxers!

There was as Molly had said very little to pack up from her room and it took them no time before they were back at Charles'. As she unpacked the holdall and black plastic bags she felt embarrassed at how little she had to bring to their home. Apologising to Charles as she unpacked. He merely held her in his arms and told her she was all that mattered. This made her smile, but she still felt she needed to contribute something and so a few weeks later when her Mum and Bella came to stay, she made her first purchase for their home.

She bought them a new chest of drawers, big solid wood imposing ones that would fit into their bedroom, just, but would hold all her clothes, and maybe even a few of his! She loved this set of draws, it was the first piece of furniture she had ever bought, and they were expensive adding to the thrill, but that also to Molly it was a sign of her commitment. Charles laughed when he saw, and her pride in buying them, he praised them just the right amount to make Molly's happiness complete.

Their new domesticated life had been going well together. Molly was still off sick, a minor complications with her incision scar meant she wasn't Army fit for a few more weeks. This meant that she had a lot of time on her hands, and used it wisely. Unbeknown to Charles she booked herself on an intensive driving course, hoping to pass her test in a week. She didn't and had to admit to Charles one night when he came home to find her in a bad mood, one he had no idea the cause of. He didn't tease her about her fail, he knew better than that, but encouraged her to keep trying. If anything this man knew Molly was no quitter. He had seen that with her swimming lessons. She had been told to take up swimming as physio for her side; she didn't dare to admit that she couldn't swim to them. So Charles took her off to the local pool for lessons, while Charles used this exercise to help his abdominal injury. She had numerous lessons and seemed to enjoy it, but the day of her 25 metre swim test came, and in her words she was "Bricking it". However she did it, and secretly was very very proud of the sew on badge and certificate she was awarded. Sam had joke that she could almost swim as far as he could, which made Molly even the more determined and often saw her at the local baths with Sam, getting stronger and better in her swimming. So Charles had no doubt that her driving would be just the same.

The other thing she chose to so with her extended sick leave was to turn herself into a bit of a domestic goddess. She'd never had a kitchen to play in or experiment with, and she loved it. The freedom, the fun, and most importantly the finished products. Every night since she had moved in Charles had returned home to a Molly, and a cooked meal. Sometimes edible and sometimes not, but whatever she had on offer he revelled in it and the comfort he found on entering his front door being welcomed home by her. She had even tried some of her new kitchen skills out on company. Charles' parents the first guinea pigs, closely followed by Elvis and Georgie.

It was therefore as a surprise a few weeks later that Charles returned home to find the house in semi darkness and no sign of Molly in her usual place. He called out her name only to find her curled up on the settee, crying. He knelt down beside her, and seeing how upset she was he didn't need to ask why. He knew. The date had stayed in his mind too. Today it was a year since Smurf had died, a year ago that Molly had loss her best friend. He pulled her into a hug, rubbing his hands down her back, rocking her gently. They stayed like that for many minutes, until Molly was able to talk.

"I'm sorry. I'm a bit of a fuckmuppet today. It's just you know remembering and that." She said in shaky breaths.

"I know. I know, and never say sorry."

"I miss him. Annoying as he was, he was a good mate. I loved him for that. He didn't deserve it."

"You spoke to Candy?" He asked.

"Yeah. Just before you came in, that's what got me like this I guess. Been ok all day up until then." She stared up at him and bit her lip before her confession. "I haven't even made up you your supper."

He laughed gently into her hair. "Good. That make this easier to do then."

"What?" She asked noticing he looked nervous.

"I was planning. Had planned with a few of the old two section for us to meet up with them tonight. For few drinks. To honour Smurf, his memory on his anniversary. You ok with that?"

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? It's a lovely idea. Thank you Charles." She kissed him, then added. "You know I might make you right after all. I once said I don't do perfect. I think I do. Well at least I do with you. I love you."

"Ditto" was his reply, as he held her knowing her never wanted to let her go.