Chapter Ten

Meet the Joy of the New Year

How long can I continue,

without telling you my feelings.

How long before you

find out for yourself.

December 2019 – Abbotsbury, England – Christmas Holiday

The days after Christmas where spent with much joy and much preparations for New Years Eve. Especially Sophia wanted to make something big out of it. She voted against fireworks, and opted to go to the city park, where the government would organize a grand firework. It started at twelve o'clock, and went on till one-thirty, so they could decide themselves when they wanted to go.

She baked tons delicacies and cleaned the entire house. She had invited some of her and Kyo's friends over, long before Eriol opted the bring Tomoyo with him this holiday. And because they had no idea who these friends where, Tomoyo, Eriol, Syaoran and Sakura decided to be present at the fireworks a little bit before twelve. That way, they didn't have to kiss strangers a happy new year, as Eriol put it.

On old year's day, they made another long walk, joined by Sophia and Kyo and had lunch at a cozy cafe. The sun shone and the weather forecast predicted a clear night and they all walked back slowly, wanting to make most of the day and the walk.

At four o'clock in the evening, Sophia started preparing a luxurious meal, with the help of Sakura and Tomoyo and at five thirty the first guest arrived. They were welcomed by Kyo and accompanied by Eriol and Syaoran before dinner would start.

The evening went well and everyone had a good time, or at least pretended to have so. The friends of Sophie and Kyo had children, which they of course brought with them: the brothers Jack and Steve, and their younger neighbors Ron and Suzu. The first meeting made clear to the four friends that there was no connection at all between them. But while the adults talked in the living room, the youngsters decided to play some card games, in a gesture to not to exclude anyone and be nice towards each other.

'Can I come tonight?' Suzu asked shyly at Eriol in English, who had no idea what to say and sent a questioning look at Tomoyo. Blond curls adored the childish face of the six year old Suzu. She had large puppy dog eyes and used it at her advantage. They hadn't known that the friends of Sophie had kids, and planned on bringing them along. Only Eriol knew they existed but had groaned as soon as he realized that would stay till New Year.

Steve, a tall boy, seemingly at the same age as Syaoran and Eriol, lived next door to Suzu, but acted as her older brother. 'I don't know if that's such a good idea, Suus, I might get really late and you won't be able to stay awake.'

'Do to!' Suzu responded, at which the two started bickering.

Sakura gave op listening because their English was so fast that she lost the subject a long time ago. She couldn't help to notice though, that Steve had practically said he would come with them. Without asking. And couldn't he stop looking at her so much?

Eriol had no problem following the conversation, but cursed his luck that his parents choose friends which had such an idiotic son. He knew Steve from former visits and they never really became friends. Although... Steve might think they did. The problem with Steve was that he's quite egocentric. He always got what he wanted and could turn out... a great pain in the ass... if he didn't succeed. But at the same time, he seemed too naive, to realize what he did.

Although Syaoran spoke English fluently, he did not bother to listen to the conversation. As soon as Suzu had entered that evening, she made clear she wanted to marry Syaoran when she grew up. While her parents had responded with a absentminded 'Sure, dear', Sakura and Tomoyo had burst out in giggles and he himself rather not thought anything of it. It bothered him more that Suzu's handsome neighbor definitely had his eyes on Sakura.

And Tomoyo didn't even realize there was an argument going on. She had her eyes only on Sakura and her reaction of this Steve. She too had noticed that he stared abnormally much at her best friend and that it clearly bothered her. Sakura seemingly tried her best not to look at him, and pretended to be occupied with the current card game. Though this didn't require all that much attention, really.

As the game continued, Suzu and Steve stopped bickering. Ron, Suzu's three year old little brother, immediately got her attention and started to cry, as soon as Suzu pulled his hair "gently". Their mother didn't notice this – or choose not to – and kept her back towards them, in deep conversation with Sophia. At this moment, Jack sighed deeply, giving his first sign that he too was alive. He grabbed Ron and held him close as he went to Sophia's bedroom to let him sleep.

'Show off.' Steve mumbled. He did not really like his older brother, for they were exact opposites. Not all that strange, because Jack was six years older and more mature. Or maybe Steve was just very childish... 'It's not even his little brother.'

The others choose to ignore this and continued the game. Soon Eriol and Tomoyo excused themselves and went upstairs. While Steve made fun of their indecency, Sakura and Syaoran knew better: they just wanted to get away from Steve.

'Smart.' Sakura mouthed to Syaoran who nodded helplessly at her. Smart indeed, but now they were stuck, and they still had to wait three whole hours for New Year. In the next ten minutes, Steve and Suzu were so helplessly irritating, that Syaoran really, really wanted to get out of here.

He turned to Sakura. 'We still got three hours, how about some training?' His eyes begged her to say yes.

Sakura had to suppress the urge to giggle. They had already trained this morning for more than two hours. It only showed how much he wanted to get away. She smiled sweetly at him. 'Sounds good.'

Immediately, Suzu clung to Syaoran's arm, and Steve looked questioningly at Sakura. 'What are you talking about?'

'I don't understand!' Suzu added.

'We're going training.' Sakura responded, a bit reluctant. 'Syaoran is teaching me martial arts.'

For less than a second, Steve glared at his rival. 'Oh, I can teach you some. I know judo!'

'Eh...' She had no clue how to recline without making a fuss.

'Martial arts and judo are very different. I don't want to confuse her training that way.' The scowl on Syaoran's face had returned completely. This week, he had hardly shown it, but tonight, with Steve around, he showed it in full glory.

Steve tried to suppress a scowl, without much success. His green eyes showed the fury he felt. Suzu, clueless, pulled at Syaoran's arm. 'I wanna look!'

Taken aback, Sakura quickly answered for him. 'Sorry, Suzu, but I can't concentrate that way.' Suzu somehow accepted that, nodded and went to her mother for some needed attention. She was sleepy anyway.

Steve understood what that meant, and quickly came up with something. 'What about a match? The strongest can teach Sakura.'

Sakura, who already tried to leave the room, almost tripped. Spinning around, she retorted fiercely: 'Why try, you are no match for Syaoran.' She felt heat rise towards her face, for she hadn't meant to sound so harsh.

Syaoran failed miserably in hiding his snicker, resulting in Steve getting angry. 'Wanna bet? I can wipe the floor with you!'

Sakura sighed deeply, trying not to say anything. How did it turn out this way; this hostile? Normally, she reacted nice at everyone, and most seemed to like her. But here, at the other side of the world, all her nice words went up in smoke. She realized Steve was to blame for a large part. Sakura just didn't like the guy. She felt a small wave of disgust at the sight of him. Not because of his looks – he was quite handsome for a European – but of something she couldn't really put her finger on. And that's a first for her.

I'm not even disgusted with Tomiko, so why this guy?

Maybe it also had something to do with the fact that he pretty much ruined a wonderful night. She wanted to spend New Year with Syaoran, Tomoyo and Eriol – not with a stranger.

Syaoran took a short glance at Sakura and recognized most of what she felt at the moment. Although he opted training to get away from Steve, he would probably feel much better after a crushing defeat on that guy's side. And besides, he couldn't really let this come over him. This challenge couldn't be left alone. He nodded shortly at the guy. 'Okay, what dare you betting for?'

Steve looked at him smugly. 'How about a kiss from the lovely lady? Or is that price to high?' He sniggered and looked longingly at Sakura, who turned beet red.

Syaoran, gentlemen as he is, tried his best to get under this. 'That sounds way to cliché and old fashioned. Don't you think it's quite patronizing to fight for a kiss of a lady, when she doesn't want to give you any?' The scowl Syaoran got from Steve certainly didn't match his own, though the poor guy tried very hard.

'Okay, than we fight for the right to teach her.'

Sakara rolled her eyes and Syaoran answered. 'That's quite the same, and besides, I don't need to fight for that: I already have her permission.'

'Even better,' Sakura added, with a slightly cold voice towards Steve. 'I personally asked him to train me.'

Steve looked a bit taken back and decided to try something else. 'Right, then we must fight for money.' He could use some extras, and if he did loose, his parents could afford it, because his father had a well paying job. They weren't nearly as rich as the Hiiragizawa, but neither could he be. He could aim quite high, and maybe that fellow would back out. 'How about two hundred?'

'You serious?' Syaoran asked unbelievingly.

'Scared?'

'No, surprised. I've fought for money before, but never less than ten thousand.' Now Steve looked flabbergasted, and he paled visibly. Syaoran decided to scare him some more. 'Euros, not Yen. But if you want, we could change to Yen.'

'Fine, ten thousand Euros! As if you could win.' Steve knew his dad wouldn't be happy if he lost, but it would work out. He planned on winning, and with ten thousand extra, he could do lots of fun things. He didn't know if the value of Yen was more that Euro, so he thought it wise to stick with Euro and further not mention it. He turned to Sakura. 'And is the fair lady willing to give the winner a kiss on the cheek?'

Sakura looked at him and tried her very best to hide her loathing for the man. She didn't like where this went, but knew why Syaoran accepted the challenge. Out of pure irritation, she answered before thinking about it thoroughly. 'Okay, but only if you promise, not to bother us at the fireworks.' It didn't occur to her that if he lost, she had to give Syaoran a kiss.

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Sakura sat on one of the wooden benches at the sideline, like a lost price waiting to be won. She wore her trainings gear, making clear that she still planned to train with Syaoran after this. Syaoran too wore clothes in which he could move easy, making clear that he took this fight quite seriously, in spite of what he felt. After all, he did not really think Steve could match him. Steve, without his shirt, moved his muscles, but Sakura only looked at Syaoran with something acing to aw, as he stood there, fully balanced, and ready for the match.

Truth be told, it couldn't be called a worthy match. Steve launched at Syaoran, who blocked him easily and threw him with a twist of his hand on the ground. Steve tried again, and again, and it became clear that all he knew was some basic judo, and street fighting. Strong as he seemed, he didn't overpass Syaoran. Nor with speed. Syaoran had been fighting all his life, not only physically, but mentally as well. He was a borne fighter and didn't need to sweat to win over such an amateur.

Steve stumbled up and glared angry at his opponent. 'You fight dirty! Follow the rules, man! Are you a man or not?'

Syaoran gave him a cold smirk. 'The rules? These are the rules. I know the rules better than you. It's not because of the rules that you can't fight.' His smirk grew colder, and his scowl deeper. 'You should have thought it out more thoroughly. If you can't fight, then you should not challenge someone like me.'

'What? Someone like you?' Steve tried to sound secure, but didn't succeed. His voice quavered and slowly it began to dawn on him, that this Syaoran wasn't just an average fighter. It's not that I can't fight; I'm the best at school!

'Steve.' Sakura's kind voice had finally returned to her. Steve had been utterly defeated, and she kind of felt sorry for him. 'Syaoran is one of the best in Japan, there are not many who can defeat him.' She smiled sadly at him. 'I'm sure you are strong, but choose your opponents with more care next time.'

Steve now trembled visibly. His handsome face grew pale and his eyes darted between Syaoran and Sakura.

'Now you're exaggerating, Sakura. I'm not that good.' Syaoran told her in Japanese, wondering how she got that information.

'Who are you fooling? I looked everything up, for my report on Martial Arts. I even found an article that said that if you only aimed for it and practiced more, you could reach the absolute top of your age group.' Sakura pointed out firmly, which made Syaoran sweat drop visibly. She had looked everything up on Martial Arts, but because her sports report needed to be three hundred pages and had to little information, she searched for some special people in the sport and found a lot of information about Syaoran.

Then it just dawned on Steve that they had fought for ten thousand Euro, and that his dad probably wouldn't give it to him if he found out what happened. Syaoran seemed to read his mind, because he said boldly: 'You can keep your money; I've no need for it.'

'Nah, you're filthy rich anyway...' Sakura muttered, earning a mock glance from Syaoran.

Steve finally decided enough is enough and stood proudly up. 'I see...' he said. 'I think I better go home now.' Turning to Sakura he softened his tone. 'If Syaoran wasn't around, I'm sure you would have fallen for me, Sakura.' Then he turned towards Syaoran again. 'I've lost fairly, so I congratulate you with the fair lady.' And with that he turned around and left the dojo.

Syaoran stared at his retreating form, before sighing deeply. 'I haven't enjoyed it as much as I thought I would. Actually, I didn't enjoy it at all.' He turned around with a sad smile adorning his lips and found Sakura standing up, her little face frowning from a mix between anger and irritation. 'What's wrong?' He asked, afraid she would turn that look towards him.

'So arrogant! Does he really think I could fall for the likes of him? He is one of the first people that I nearly loath!' She burst out, before sighing deeply and regaining her composure. 'Let's train for a while to forget all this, okay?'

Syaoran thought it a good idea, wanting to let some of his steam out. Also, he knew fairly well that Sakura also needed to calm down a little bit more, before they would go to the fireworks. He smiled approvingly with a nod, feeling relieved that his scowl disappeared again. Sakura smiled eagerly back. She had too much energy at the moment and needed to train it all away.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

At eleven-thirty, the four of them left the Hiiragizawa residence and went to the city park. Steve had gone home, faking illness, and Suzu's mother didn't allow her to go to the city park without her or her father there. Jack had started a conversation with Kyo and wanted to go to the citypark after twelve o'clock. So the four friends could go alone to the citypark, just like they wanted.

The walk took about fifteen minutes and when they arrived there, they looked for a good place to watch the fireworks. Not many had arrived yet, so they still had a say in where to sit. They choose the top of a small hill, under a leafless oak-tree, and laid there blankets under it. Sophia had given them a basket full of delicious looking things and drinks, with the order to letave something in there for when the adults would arrive.

They sat closely together and saw others arrive in little groups. Sakura found it fascinating that Europeans looked so different then Japanese's. Together with Tomoyo they observed them and gave comments.

'Look at her!' Tomoyo whispered. 'That skirt is so tight, her belly falls over it.'

Sakura whispered back. 'And the shirt so short that it is visibly seen that she's too fat. Though I do like her shoes.'

Syaoran and Eriol shrugged. 'You don't have to whisper, you know,' Eriol explained. 'I hardly doubt any of them speak Japanese.' He got a long look from both the girls, where after they continued whispering.

After a while, the crowd had grown larger and the huge countdown clock got projected in the night sky. Most stood, in small groups or couples and it grew silent. Tomoyo stood close to Eriol, a few meters apart from Sakura and Syaoran, to have some privacy. Sakura stood nervously next to Syaoran, and had just realized what exactly she had promised the winner of the small competition earlier between Syaoran and Steve.

When the countdown began, the crowd counted as well, with full force.

'Three!'

Couples stood closer together, looking expectantly at the large clock.

'Two!'

A few glasses of champagne rose up, ready for toast.

'One!'

Anticipation grew larger.

'HAPPY NEW YEAR!!' The crowd roared, as people clank their drinks, hugged and kissed each other and the first fireworks exploded in the air.

At the corner of her eyes, Sakura witnessed a passionate kiss between Tomoyo and Eriol. A large smile appeared on her lips and she turned around to hug Syaoran. 'Happy New Year, Syaoran!' She said. She stood at the tip of her toes and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek, which surprised Syaoran greatly. They both blushed as Syaoran give her a small kiss back on her cheek wishing her a happy New Year as well. They let go of each other and turned to look at the fireworks, both holding a smile on their lips, but not daring to look at each other for at least the next few minutes.

After about one minute, Tomoyo and Eriol came towards them, and they kissed each other's cheeks, and Syaoran and Eriol shook hands and clapped each other's shoulders. They poured champagne in glasses – all thought of by Sophia – and heaved them towards the New Year. As the fireworks continued, they all looked in awe and chatted away happily, the sudden embarrassment between Syaoran and Sakura long forgotten.

Tomoyo came to stand next to Sakura for a moment and whispered in her ear. 'I saw that, sneaky girl. I'm so happy I brought my camcorder with me.' As Tomoyo walked towards Eriol quickly, Sakura turned beet red and watched her friend walk away with astonishment.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

January 2020 – Abbotsbury, England – Christmas Holiday

'It's a holiday, you know.' Eriol sighed and turned his back towards Syaoran.

'What must Sakura do then, you big cheat?' Tomoyo tried to look hurt and sniffed loudly, but unconvincing.

Syaoran shrugged at the two, who were being very childish. They were supposed to go to Sophia's parents, Eriol's grandparents, and although the old folks wouldn't mind Syaoran en Sakura tagging along, they decided to rather not invade the family reunion. And since their days here were short, he decided to visit LiCo in London for a checkup, now he was still in this country. This left Sakura home alone. 'She's old enough to take care of herself.' He said gruffly.

At that moment, Sakura opened the door to the kitchen, finding her friends there, arguing about her, again. Syaoran stood at the door, his bag in hand. 'Are you still at it?' A brow rose on her pretty face, marveling at their idea of letting a subject rest. 'I thought I told you to stop it. I can have a good day on my own, you know.'

Tomoyo whined while shaking her head. 'Sakura-chan, how can you say that? It's a holiday, you're supposed to have fun, see beautiful things, go sightseeing. Or snag as many man as you can!'

'Oi!' Eriol protested, giving his girlfriend a glare. But before he could say anything, Sakura already retorted.

'That's right, I should enjoy myself. And that goes much better if I snag as little man as possible. So stop telling me how to enjoy myself, I'm perfectly capable to decide on my own!'

Three pair of eyes stared at her after her little outburst. Tomoyo and Eriol knew very well that these outbursts happened a lot more frequent than before. In the past, Sakura never even retorted, let alone leach out at someone. She was that obedient girl who always agreed. No, that's not right, Tomoyo thought, she always stood up for her own idea's, but she used to give in quickly when confronted with different options.

Sakura herself looked a bit taken aback. Now where had that come from? She didn't often act like that. When her cheeks turned a bit red, her friends let out a laugh, as if everybody had already forgotten that it happened.

'Eh...' Sakura tried, but couldn't think of anything else. What did she want to do? Staying here alone? Not quite. Tagging along with Eriol and Tomoyo? Not at all! Going with Syaoran to London? Hm... She had never seen London, it sounded like a nice experience.

'Yes?' Her three friends asked all at the same time.

'Eh... Can you give me a ride to London, Syaoran? I don't think I will be bored, when shopping there.' Window shopping that is, she thought, but decided not to say that out loud. She probably couldn't buy anything in London with the little bit of money she had with her.

'Sure.' Syaoran said, wondering if this would be wise. 'I don't know when I'm ready to go back though.'

'That's okay. Just give me a call when you want to go. London is very big, so even when you're busy till late in the night, I'll still enjoy myself.' While she said that, Sakura wondered if it would be true. She didn't know anyone or anything there, and there were so many people, about anything could happen there.

Tomoyo apparently knew what she thought and worried over her as always. 'Call Syaoran as soon as you don't feel save, okay Sakura? Don't trust anyone, don't talk to anyone and don't make eye contact. As soon as someone approaches, you have to scream for help!'

'You're exaggerating.' Syaoran said, as Eriol hit his girlfriend softly on the head. Both man shook their head and gave Sakura a reassuring smile. 'It'll be okay, London is not that scary and I won't be that far away.'

Sakura smiled back at her two friends, ignoring Tomoyo who stood behind the boys, pouting like crazy. Syaoran would indeed not be far away and that assured her that it all would be okay.

A car honked outside and Syaoran looked out the hall window. 'You better hurry, Sakura, the taxi is waiting. I give you five minutes.' As Sakura shrieked, Syaoran showed her a wicked smile and Tomoyo said she would never make it in time. But they got result, because four minutes later, Sakura stood ready – breathing heavily – sticking her tongue out at Tomoyo, after giving her a hug, and stormed out the door towards the taxi, arriving two paces in front of Syaoran. They got in and the car rushed away.

After a long while, the taxi stopped in front of LiCo London. They both got out and Sakura was surprised to see that the building stood in the middle of the shopping district. Syaoran noticed her surprise and explained. 'Most clients do not come to LiCo for fun, but pure for business. Talking business in a plain room works for some of them, but others like to talk while drinking coffee or eating at expensive restaurants. By placing the company here, we encourage them to do so, making them feel at ease, while we are still close to the main building with all the information and papers within reach. My sisters thought of it and it works out quite well.'

Sakura nodded understanding the logic of it. Her eyes took everything in. The large buildings, the crowd, the street signs, the traffic. It seemed a smaller than Tokyo, but a lot more chaotic. She couldn't suppress a shiver.

'I must go inside now; I've got an appointment in a few minutes. I will call you when I'm done here. Are you going to be alright?' Syaoran asked, a concerned look in his eyes.

She turned towards him and beamed a smile at him. 'Sure, don't worry!' As to prove her point, she turned towards a crowded shopping street. 'I'll see you later!' And with that, she disappeared among all the other people.

'Don't worry, she says...' Syaoran sighed and turned around, entering one of his companies. How could he not worry? He had seen her shivering, and knew it was not from excitement or the cold winter air. Her smile seemed fake, to make it worse. He decided to make this quick and then go back to her.

Quick turned out not to be the right word. He had to do quite a lot. The head of this department arranged a special meeting for him, and asked him to take a look at some of their current problems. In the end, he had to solve a lot of problems, contacting some of the important clients and had some stern words with a few lacking employees. It took him about four hours before he could escape. Nevertheless, he had done the right thing, coming here. LiCo London had always been the most chaotic one of all.

His watch showed him it was already two o'clock. For a visit here, four hours were a record, but he didn't like it that Sakura walked somewhere around here, all alone. He decided to walk a bit further in the main street before calling her. While walking he saw a cozy lunch cafe, which he had visited several times. The cafe, The White Flower, was small and cheap, but the food good, the waiters nice and the decorating warming. He would like to bring Sakura here.

He took his mobile in hand to call her, when he suddenly saw Sakura. She stood at the other side of the street, gazing in the window of a flower shop. His happy feelings fell at the sight of her expression, because her smile stood sad and her eyes a bit empty. He cursed mentally, he should have never let her be here alone for so long.

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Wandering in such a chaotic city, without entering shops due to lack of money, for four hours, turned out to be no fun at all. There were a lot of things she would have liked, if only someone had accompanied her. The crowd around her made her uneasy, and a lot of people glared unfriendly at her. The longer she walked, the more she saw, and the more she felt depressed.

When, after a long time, Sakura found a nice flower shop not too far away from LiCo, she felt more depressed than ever before. All her misery came back to her, all the negative things that had ever happened to her. And just as she drenched herself in her misery, she thought of Syaoran, and that she would never, could never tell him how much she liked him. That he would never think of her like that anyway, and that it was all useless to begin with.

When she thought her misery couldn't get any worse, she realized that she would have liked to give those nice flowers in front of her, a pretty bouquet of yellow, white and orange flowers, to Sophia, as a thank-you-gift for her days in England. That would have been nice, but she couldn't afford it.

And that was the last drop. She turned her back towards the flowers, not daring to look at them any longer. All she wanted now was someone to hold her while she cried endlessly. She tried to hold her tears back, and feverishly thought of running in the LiCo building to find Syaoran. He had told her, weeks before that she had to tell him when there was something wrong.

At that moment she looked up, and within a few seconds, she saw him. He walked fast towards her, not finding a hindrance from all the chaotic people around him, and looked her straight in the eyes. His eyes stood sorrowful, and a bit angry, but most of all worried. Worry for her. Her eyes filled with tears as he tried his best to get near her, as fast as possible. When he finally reached her, she threw herself in his arms and cried uncontrollably.

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Syaoran's heart ached when he enclosed her in his arms. She cried, her head on his chest, her hands grabbing the back of his shirt and she trembled all over. He didn't say anything, he wanted her to cry her heart out, and simply held her firmly, yet gently. After a few moments, he noticed some passengers getting irritated for them standing in the middle of the side walk. But one glare turned out to be enough to keep them from saying anything. And when they noticed the despair Sakura was in, they even went as far as giving them some space.

Sakura continued crying, and he buried his face in her hair, cancelling all the disturbance from the crowded main street. They stood there for about ten minutes, when Sakura finally loosened her grip on him, though she didn't let go. 'I'm tired...' she mumbled. Her hands where folded loosely on his back, her forehead touched his chest just lightly. He held her with one arm, and tilted her face with the other hand. 'How about we go to the park? It's quieter there, and you can sleep. Or talk. It's a five minutes' walk from here.' She looked up at him, and he stroke a tear away with his thumb. 'Thank you...' she said softly, more tears streaming from her eyes. She held him close for a second before letting him go.

'That way.' Syaoran pointed behind her, and she turned around. Sakura wavered for a moment and she still trembled visibly. He went to walk beside her and put his arm around her shoulder for comfort. She surprised him by smiling watery and walking a bit closer to him.

True to his word, they reached the park within five minutes. Syaoran led her towards a bench, hidden by a few trees and sat down. It was cold here, but dry, without snow, which made it okay to sit here. Sakura sat down beside him. The trembling hadn't stopped and she crawled close to him for warmth, or maybe some reassurance. She didn't say anything, only cried silently, until she fell asleep. He shifted them both a bit, so that she wouldn't get cramp, and could sleep naturally. His fingers absentmindedly stroked her hair, as he stared at nothing in particular, somewhere in the distance.

His thought flew in all directions though. He felt guilty for leaving her alone, for working while he knew she didn't look forward to wandering around town all alone. Guilty for not seeing sooner she didn't feel right at all. Just guilty for not being there when she needed him. That resulted in the question if she needed him. Would she have thrown herself in Tomoyo's arms as well? Eriol's? Did she need a friend right now, or did he take a different place in her life?

He hoped the latter.

Although happiness filled him at the thought of having a friend like Sakura, and he didn't want to lose that friend, he wondered if he could become more someday. And coming to that point, he had to admit, he really loved her.

Even knowing about all that happened to her, didn't scare him, instead it made him want to hold her, comfort her and look out for her. He wanted to make sure, with his own actions, that no one could hurt her ever again. That she could be happy forever, could live without worrying over simple things as having too little money.

But he couldn't just tell her so, could he? Risking that he would scare her, and that she would run away? He couldn't possibly do that. If he ever wanted to be even closer to Sakura, she had to be the one to take the step towards him. But could she do that? Could she overcome her fear of man? Of relations?

What was he thinking... really. How could he want her taking the step towards him, when he didn't even know how she thought about him? What if she only saw him as a friend, and nothing more? What if she never even thought about something as outrageous being his girlfriend?

That hurts...

He sighed deeply and looked at the sleeping form at his side. Her head rested in his lap, and although she was deep asleep, every now and then, tears still streamed from her eyes. But besides that, she looked somehow... serene. As if she felt a lot better sleeping here, instead of alone in her room.

He sighed again, and decided to let his thoughts rest for a while. Maybe later, when she felt better, he could think about how to let her know what he felt. All he wanted to do now was being right at her side, whenever she needed him.

Although he didn't sit very comfortable, he fell asleep soon after he forced himself to stop thinking about her.

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Sakura awoke slowly, letting her senses take over one by one. First she realized that she had fallen asleep, and soon after that, where her head rested. Her eyes flew open and a pink blush appeared on her cheeks. She ignored the blush, for she could blame the cold winter air, and slowly turned her head, only to see Syaoran's sleeping head.

She cursed mentally. She hadn't expected to be in this position again. His hand even rested on her waist, just as that time when they all rode together towards the amusement park in Tokyo. But this time, she didn't really feel uncomfortable. Actually, she felt quite secured, and decided to lie down like this for a little longer.

As she stared at his sleeping face, she calmed down completely. The despair from a while ago was nowhere in sight. She knew quite well why the feeling had gone away. Syaoran always made her feel better.

She suddenly realized that Syaoran probably was the only man, who she trusted completely. Besides family and Eriol, that is. He was also the first man who she loved, more deeply than she thought she was able to.

Lying there on his lap, not feeling afraid at all, also made clear that he could probably become the only man who could touch her, without her running away.

Though that would still be very far away. Walking close to him, sleeping on his lap, hugging him tightly to let herself cry... just a few months ago, she would have never thought she could do these things again. With no one at all. But now, it felt okay if it was Syaoran who stood beside her and comforted her. It could very well be that Syaoran would turn out to be to only option for her to be close to a man. After all, other man were quite scary, if you tried to see them in a romantic way.

Maybe, sometime, she would allow herself to be held by his arms, to be caressed, just how she dreamed about when she was younger.

That is, if he wants to...

At that moment, Syaoran stirred and slowly opened his eyes. He yawned widely, releasing his hand from her waist, before looking down and noticing Sakura stared up at him. She smiled up at him, a happy, yet embarrassed smile. 'Good morning.' he said, smiling a bit embarrassed as well.

Sakura let out a small giggle, remembering their argument from the time she was ill. 'You know, if it is still morning, you have very little time to do everything you wanted to do today.'

'Hm, really?' Syaoran rested his arm on the back of the bench and his head on his fist. 'That's okay though; there is nothing I need to do. But maybe there is something you want to do, Sakura?'

She frowned a little at him, wondering for his intentions. 'Are you inquiring about something specific?'

'Maybe.'

He has that grin again, Sakura thought a bit angrily, the grin which means he's mocking me. But she knew very well what he meant. She knew she had to talk. Not that she had any idea as where to start talking. The longer she thought about it, the harder she found it to just start talking. 'Fine, you ask, I answer.'

'You want me to play the shrink?' He mocked her again!

'Yes, please do, Mr. Shrimp.'

He glared at her, yet a bit playfully. 'Now who's mocking who? I'll play the shrink, not the shrimp, understood?'

Sakura tried her very best to look serious, although she failed miserably. 'Yes, sir, understood!'

Syaoran let out a laugh and playfully ruffled her hair. 'Alright. I don't have a notebook, so I'll just remember everything you say. First question: – and I don't take yes or no for an answer – why are you tired? Do you mean physically or mentally?'

She closed her eyes for a moment. This was not the time to lie; she had to tell him the truth, about everything he might ask. Maybe she would feel better afterwards: they say you feel better if you talk about your misery, right? Though she already felt much better after crying in his arms. She decided to start talking with her eyes closed. 'Mentally.' she said. 'Physically I feel fine, more or less. I'm just tired of everything that happened, and that might still happen in the future.'

'Like?'

'Like... you know; the rape, the elevator, the assault, Kuromori Tomiko and her friends. Even the smaller things, as my brother being overprotective, although he has the right... my father almost never at home, mother who I can hardly remember, worrying my friends over every little thing, always relying on others, because of lack of money, or because I can't take care of myself. Things like that. And who knows what still might happen in the future. Maybe Tomiko already plans on a new scheme or something like that. It tires me. I wish I had a normal life, that I didn't have to be scared all the time. That others don't have to look after me every minute they can.'

'You know, even if we don't have to look after you, we will still do so. Just as I'm looking after Eriol and Meilin, and as Eriol looks after Tomoyo. That's what friends are for, even if it's not necessary, we always keep an eye on each other.'

As Syaoran said that, his eyes clouded for a second, remembering his own past. And although it was just a fleeting moment, Sakura had opened her own eyes and witnessed the moment. 'I'm curious about your past. Something happened to you as well, didn't it?'

He didn't look her in the eyes, but instead stared away in the distance. 'Something did happen, and it hurt me a lot. But the longer I know you, the more I realize it wasn't that big of a deal at all. I should have known better, even back then.'

That doesn't make any sense! Sakura wailed silently, but kept her face serious. 'Is that why you grew so cold towards others and give everyone a glare?' She cursed mentally when she realized how accusing she sounded.

Syaoran's glare returned and the smile disappeared. He neither spoke nor looked at her. Was that how she saw him? As a cold person? Sure, he had treated many people with severe coldness, but he didn't treat her like that, did he? Hadn't he always treated his family with respect and care? Had he not been a good friend towards Meilin, Eriol and even Tomoyo? Sure, he had a rough start with Sakura, but didn't he treat her as a friend now? He wouldn't be here, if he didn't care for her that much.

Ah, my thoughts are running wild again.

Sakura touched his cheek shortly to get his attention and give comfort. 'I'm sorry, Syaoran, I didn't mean it like that. I meant towards strangers. You're not cold towards me...'

Syaoran bent his head and closed his eyes temporarily. He noticed the quiver in her voice, scared as she was to anger him. He didn't want her to be scared of him. 'I know. My imagination just took a walk with me.' He opened his eyes again and gave her a smile. 'But more important than that! You're changing the subject again. I'm not going to tell what happened to me, until you have answered all of my questions.'

'Ah!' Sakura faked a groan. I've done it again! I'm trying my best, subconsciously, to avoid the questions. I must focus now, or else... he will never tell me what happened. 'Sorry! Please continue, Mr. shrim–nk.'

'Hmpf... So why were you so down, just a while ago?'

'Well... I don't like to go shopping alone. If I don't have money to spend, it is very frustrating to see so much things that I want to buy, but can't. Normally, when I'm with Tomoyo or Chiharu, it's not so bad, because they keep my attention away. But they're not here now. I felt really lonely, hour after hour, and then everything just came back to me. When I think of everything bad that happened, all at once, it's just too much to take. And then I saw such a pretty bouquet of flowers, which would suit Sophia's living room very nicely, and I can't afford it. And that was the last straw. I was just planning to get you out of that stupid building, when I noticed you were already here.'

Syaoran thought it over for awhile. He didn't really know what to say to her. She seemed to be fine now. 'And why is it that you're okay now? Or are you trying to be though again?'

Sakura giggled and stuck her tongue out at him. 'No, I'm not faking, if that's what you mean. When I woke up, I just felt really comfortable, and I was not lingering on the past anymore.' Her explanation didn't really convince him, for he raised his eyebrows at her. 'I'm just not scared if you're here.' The moment she said that, was the exact moment she realized what she said, and a blush crept up her cheeks. But the look Syaoran gave her, told her he was affected. Affected! He looked sincerely, touched and warmly in her eyes. His smile was a happy one, and she had the feeling her cheeks couldn't color any redder than her current tint.

'Is that so? Then next time, don't wait for four hours to come and get me.' He had a glint in his eyes, one she hadn't seen that often.

Sakura pulled herself up and went to sit next to him. She turned to face him. 'Will there be a next time?'

Syaoran leaned a bit forward and took her in a friendly embrace. Sakura let her head rest on his shoulder. 'I hope not, but we never know what might happen. But no matter where I am, or what I am doing, if you need me, just let me know, and I'll come. Promise?'

'Yeah, I promise.' After that, they let go and stood up. 'How late is it?' She asked him, changing the subject.

He checked his watch. 'A quarter till three. We've got plenty of time, if you still want to do something. And for today, you don't have to worry about money.' He gave her a look meaning he didn't take no for an answer.

Sakura smiled up at him. 'Alright, just for today then.'

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Syaoran and Sakura sat at a small table in a quiet, little restaurant called "The White Flower". On Sakura's left, against the wall, stood the result of four hours shopping. She bought clothes, souvenirs for Touya and Yukito and a few for herself, and the bouquet of flowers for Sophia and Kyo. Even Syaoran had bought some clothing, because when Sakura got the hang of it, she dragged him everywhere to try on outfits. Surprisingly, Syaoran didn't dislike it at all and enjoyed every moment of it. It was a day filled with joy and laughter. Well, only after tree o'clock, that is. Before that, the day seemed miserable.

They had already ordered their food and waited for it to arrive. The tables around them were still empty, but it wouldn't be long for other guests to arrive. Sakura thought this a good moment to ask him something personal. 'Syaoran, you don't have any more questions, have you?'

He raised his eyebrow, while folding his hands beneath his chin. 'Why, is there something you still want to tell me?'

'No, but I have some questions for you.' The curve of her mouth turned upwards, but her eyes stood serious.

'Alright, I suppose that's fair enough.' At that moment, the waitress came with their drinks, put them on the table and quietly left them alone. They both drank some, before Sakura started. She shifted a bit in the soft chair, trying to find a comfortable position.

'What happened to you in the past? Even Eriol said you've had a rotten past, but if I wanted to know, I had to ask you.'

A sigh escaped from Syaoran's lips. He had avoided this subject for much too long. Maybe he would feel better if he talked about it. But then again, he had realized in the past months that it hadn't been so bad after all. And that's what he told her too. 'It's not as rotten as you make it sound, although I did think so back then. When I was young, I had a lot of friends, besides Eriol and Meilin. They all came to play at my house after school and we all had fun. It felt good to be appreciated by others. But my mother disliked it, though I didn't understand back then. She told us not to play in and around the house anymore, but maybe at home of one of my friends, or in the woods, or something. But my friends refused, telling her bluntly that it wouldn't be fun to play with me, if they couldn't use my expensive toys.

They all left, just as my mother had expected. She tried to make clear to me, that these friends only cared for our money, and not for the person, and that I was better off without them. I was not happy of course, but I had more friends than that. When I realized that my mother had been right about them, I decided to see how all my other friends thought about me. It turned out in the end, no one cared for me. They told me quite harshly, once the word was out that my mother didn't allow them to use my money anymore, that they had nothing to do with me.

I was six years old, at that time, and the idea that no one wanted to be my friend, really shook my world. My father had died just two years before, my mother still mourned over him, and didn't notice how sad I was, even though she did notice my money attractive friends. I stopped going to school and got a home teacher, which meant I didn't see much others from my age. It took me a year to realize that Eriol and Meilin still stood at my side. Not for money, since they were filthy rich themselves, but just for me.

Every time I went outside though, and passed some of my former classmates, I got bullied. It wasn't much, because they were also just six and seven years old, but I grew wary of everyone and in the end just ignored them. I went cold on them, but since I did that every day, it kind of stayed a part of me. I thought, if I don't have any friends, they can't use or betray me.

Meilin sympathized with me for a long time, and eventually decided to pick out my friends for me. I didn't really care, so I let her. Eriol on the other hand had always said that I shouldn't exaggerate so much and that there were enough nice people in the world. Kids treat you differently than teenagers, so to say. I didn't really care for that either, so I let him talk.

It was only after I met you, with everything you went through, and how you still treated others with respect, I came to realize I had been exaggerating for too many years.'

When he finished, they both stayed silent for a minute, so Sakura could let it sink in. As if she had planned her timing, the waitress came to bring their food, asked if everything pleased them, and got back towards the other guests. Syaoran started to eat a few bites, before Sakura finally said something.

'It's completely different then I thought it would be.'

'What, the food?' Syaoran said, trying to be funny to change the strange mood that had fallen here.

Sakura gave him a small glare. 'Your past.' She said. 'I can imagine why you went cold on everyone, though. Six years is an age where you need friends of some kind. And at that, Meilin didn't really help to improve your situation. But I wonder... did your mother never realize at all?'

Syaoran snorted. 'Sure she did. Well, not directly after it happened, because she became very busy with work. She only noticed after two years or something. I had hardly seen her till that time. When she did notice, namely because my four sisters started complaining, she tried her best to make everything to the way it was before. But I have my father's stubbornness and refused to believe her.' He paused for a moment. 'She did change after that, though. Now I think of it, she stopped mourning over my father and concentrated more on her family. She cares about her children more than anything in the world.' He fell silent again.

'So... it was namely your way of interpreting it, that you choose not to have friends?' Sakura was a bit confused now. She found it hard to understand to not have friends, mostly because she had always had friends. She had no idea what to do without her friends, how would she manage?

'Makes it seem pretty dull, right?'

Sakura nodded slowly. 'Actually, yes, it does. I do not understand how you managed.' She started to eat slowly, not wanting to let her food get cold.

'Well, I still had Eriol and Meilin. They were always there for me, when I needed them. It's thanks to them that I didn't turn out worse than this. Come to think of it, I should have listened to Eriol. He has never been wrong about me, although I do wish he is sometimes.'

Sakura let out a laugh at that. 'That would put both his feet on the ground for once!' Still laughing, she continued to eat, and they were silent for a while to enjoy their food. She was glad that Syaoran's past wasn't as bad as she thought it would have been. Glad that he seemed to be over it, for a large part anyway. But most of all, she was glad that he told her, that he cared for her enough to tell.

The dinner tasted terrifically, and they agreed to take a dessert afterwards. This made them leave the little restaurant only after eight o'clock. Syaoran ordered a taxi, and they waited for it to arrive in front of LiCo. Most lights of the company were turned off, except behind a few windows, where some of the employees probably still had work left to do.

It was already dark and bitter cold. Sakura raised her shoulders, trying to keep the cold winter air out of her neck. A shiver ran down her spine, while she tried to warm her hands deep inside her pockets. Her belongings stood on the ground. Syaoran, next to her, stood in the same manner. A glance at his face taught her that his lips were blue-ish, and he shivered visibly.

'I-it was a lot warmer before we went to eat.' He stated simply.

'It's freezing! I hope the taxi hurries and comes before my nose freezes off.' Sakura started to move her feet, in order to not let them get any colder. The simple shoes she wore were not suitable for this cold, obviously. Maybe her toes would fall off, before her nose could have the chance.

Syaoran thought for a short moment about holding her, just to keep her warm, before throwing the idea away. Maybe it would be awkward. But then again, he had already held her today, and that hadn't been so strange. On the other hand, he didn't know if he could resist the urge to do more than just holding her.

Her face, hidden by her scarf, looked up at him for a while. He could only see her eyes, but it was enough to make him smile, and a warm feeling surged trough him. It didn't seem that cold anymore, for a short moment. 'I think it fell off already, I can't even see it.'

Her eyes told him she smiled at his words, and a hand reached up, in order to check if her nose was still there. She pulled the scarf down a few centimeters and touched her nose. 'No, it's still here. But it won't be long!'

Syaoran laughed and at that moment, a taxi stopped in front of them. 'Mr. Li?' The chauffeur asked. Syaoran nodded and opened the door of the backseat for Sakura and himself to get in. He gave the address of the Hiiragizawa residence to the chauffeur and the car rushed away. The heating of the car made Syaoran and Sakura drowsy, after warming them up. Not long after, they both fell asleep, each on their own side of the car, their shopping bags between them.

When they arrived at their destination and Syaoran had already paid, Sakura still slept soundly, and didn't wake up after a nudge of Syaoran. When Sophia walked up to them, to help if needed, she packed the bags, so Syaoran could lift Sakura's sleeping form out of the car, and bring her to her room. Tomoyo came along, to take of Sakura's jacket, while Syaoran took of her shoes and they lay her in bed, covered her with the bed sheets and silently left the room.

Before the door closed, Sakura mumbled 'Syaoran...' while staying asleep. A blush crept up his cheeks, hoping Tomoyo hadn't heard that. But Tomoyo's eyes pierced into his when he looked at her, definitely saying she heard the words very well.

Tomoyo motioned Syaoran to follow her, towards the room she shared with Eriol. When he entered, he noticed Eriol sitting at a large desk, reading a book and taking notes. Eriol looked up and gave him a nod, before bowing over his book again.

'Eriol, listen up. I think Syaoran needs to tell us something.' Tomoyo said, towering over her boyfriend. Eriol forgot his book within a second, though Syaoran couldn't say for certain if his friend was curious, or just didn't dare to ignore Tomoyo. Tomoyo turned towards Syaoran now. 'I'm very sure something has happened today.' she said firmly. 'I had this feeling the entire day, so I want to know.'

Eriol nodded, meaning he had to listen to Tomoyo all day, who wondered what happened in London, while complaining about not being able to videotape it.

Syaoran sighed and wondered what he should tell them. He had to tell something knowing that they wouldn't leave him alone before he did so. The happenings of this day were somewhat personal, something between Sakura and him. Then again, they needed to know what happened, as to make sure they kept an eye on her, at all times. So he told them most of it. Not the details about physical contact and whatsoever, nor the conversation during dinner. When he spoke, they listened intently, saving questions for later.

'So she finally broke down again.' Eriol nodded sadly. He still sat on his chair, his elbows on his knees and his chin on his entangled fingers. 'Though I suppose it's good that she has talked to you about it.'

'It's good to hear she cheered up after that.' Tomoyo added. Syaoran hadn't told them the specific bit about Sakura telling him she felt secured with him, but Tomoyo already expected it. She knew very well what her friends feelings were for Syaoran. Sakura herself just needed to come out with it.

'You really care for her.' Eriol said. It was a statement, not a question, but it didn't get the expected reaction from Syaoran. Instead of a glare, Eriol got a smile.

'You're right, as usual.'

Tomoyo and Eriol stared at him dumbfounded, wondering what they missed. Sure something else must have happened in London. 'Since when do you agree with that?' Eriol asked skeptically.

'Since I realized I really do care.' Syaoran said, grinning at Eriol. This reaction was as good as Eriol being wrong for once about him.

Tomoyo walked towards him, and looked him right in the eyes, up close. 'Tell me, do you also love her? Or simply care?' She was curious, but sounded vengeful.

Syaoran didn't look away, nor blushed and said straight forward: 'I love her.'

That got a smile from Tomoyo and she relaxed visibly. 'Good, then I don't have to hurt you. But I do wonder, since when did you realize?'

'And since when do you admit it towards others?' Eriol added.

Syaoran shrugged. 'I've realized a while ago. And I don't want to lie about it. You know the stories when the girl in question listens behind the door. I don't want to tell her how I feel, but neither do I want her to think the opposite.'

At this, Eriol nodded while Tomoyo quickly looked behind the doors, but Sakura was nowhere to be seen. 'You won't tell her?' Tomoyo sounded sad, but at the same time mischievous.

A firm look from Syaoran was all she got. 'Not yet anyway, and neither do you, Tomoyo. Eriol too. Got that?' His friends both nodded, although not all that happy. Tomoyo even went as far as glaring at him, but she stood behind Eriol, feeling more save from the famous glare Syaoran shot back at her.

'Then promise me you won't hurt her. Although I really think you should just tell her.'

To her surprise Eriol shook his head and disagreed. 'No, I think it's best not to tell her yet. The chance of her running away from you is still too big. For now, I think all you can do is just be there for her, without any romantic interest. But... as soon as she might respond positively, you must tell her, or she'll never respond.'

Syaoran nodded, knowing this very well. It was a relieve Eriol agreed with him.

Suddenly Tomoyo ran out of the room, leaving the boys staring at an open door. A minute later she returned, carrying the shopping bags from London. Putting Sakura's bags aside for later, she turned to Syaoran. 'You've been shopping, right? Then go on, put your new clothes on so I can see!' Her eyes sparkled, Eriol sniggered and Syaoran sweat dropped.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She opened her eyes and saw behind the yellow bed sheets, the orange curtains. It had become a familiar sight in the last week. The sun shone through the curtains, illuminating the room in orange light. She moved to sit up, discovering she still had her clothes on. Just a moment later she recalled what happened and wondered how she ended up in her bed. He probably carried me, she thought, thinking of Syaoran. She got out of bed, washed up and changed clothes, before going downstairs.

Tomorrow morning, they would all leave for Tomoeda again, which meant she had to start packing today, to make sure she wouldn't forget anything. She didn't look forward to go back again; who knows what might happen there? Would Kuromori Tomiko still hate her?

And what would the others think? Since she met Kuromori, she hadn't "saved" anyone anymore. Maybe because she became the victim, others were left alone? She rather hoped it would be like that. Since she became a victim herself years ago, she had always stood up for others. She contained a balance between the bullies and victims. Not being able to do that anymore, made her feel helpless and guilty at the same time. She couldn't control it anymore, and she didn't even know what happened at school: if the bullying became worse or less. Who was the latest victim? Did the students wonder why she left them alone?

Maybe Tomiko only concentrated on her, and would Hiji be too scared of her to continue his playful bullying. Playful, compared to Tomiko, that is.

The rest of the day, sort like thoughts filled her mind. She packed her belongings, with help of Tomoyo – which wasn't really necessary. But Tomoyo seemed to have the same train of thoughts as Sakura, and tried to comfort her by staying at her side. In the afternoon, she trained with Syaoran in Kyo's dojo for the last time. In the evening, they all sat together, savoring the last moments with Sophia and Kyo. The flowers Syaoran had bought for Sakura to give to Eriols parents, stood in the middle of the table, and every time Sophia looked at the bouquet, she smiled happily.

The next morning, they said their goodbyes, promised to come and visit somewhere in the future and Sophia hugged them all several times. Another taxi brought them to the airport, and when they all sat on their appointed chairs – Sakura and Syaoran sat alone, Tomoyo and Eriol together – the journey home began at last. The home where no one knew what would happen.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo