Chapter 10: Answers
The ride home was relatively quick, for which Brennan was grateful. This was the first time she had been in a vehicle (at least while conscious) and she found the motion somewhat distressing. Rationally, she knew there was no reason to fear a car ride, but all the same she felt a great sense of relief once Angela pulled up in front of her building.
Then came the elevator ride. She was tempted to ask to take the stairs, but just the short walk into the lobby was already extremely fatiguing, so she steeled herself for the less physically exhausting route. Booth, well aware that the elevator might be a problem, kept an arm around her as they walked through the lobby, allowing her to lean on him. As they entered the elevator car, he stayed close by her. Almost immediately, he felt her grip his arm, the grip tightening as the doors closed. Brennan concentrated on breathing, calling to mind some of the meditation practices that she had studied in various cultures. She could dimly hear Angela's voice as she filled the silence with talk about the latest baby shopping expedition and the oh so cute crib set she had found.
Finally the elevator doors opened and, with just a short walk down the hall, she was home. Brennan was exhausted, physically and emotionally, by the time Angela and Booth helped her through her door. Angela helped her into her bedroom while Booth stayed behind to verify security procedures with the agents.
After helping her change into some comfortable clothes and get into bed, Angela said, "Okay, sweetie, I'm going to let you get some rest now. One or both of us will be out there when you wake up. Just call and we'll come help you."
Brennan nodded sleepily, overwhelmed at how exhausting just the little bit of activity she had done today had been. She was hopeful that being in her own bed might help to keep the nightmares that had been plaguing her this week at bay.
Angela slipped out, closing the bedroom door quietly behind her. She found Booth pacing in the living room. He looked up when she entered. "Everything okay?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yeah, I think she's going to take a nap though. What about you, how are you doing?"
He shrugged, tension rolling off him. Ever since they had left the relatively controlled environment of the hospital, he had felt the stress building. He was constantly on alert, looking for danger at every turn. He wouldn't be able to relax until they got that last guy behind bars, only no one was talking.
"Dammit," he cursed softly, but vehemently.
Angela looked at him with concern. She sat on the couch. "Come sit down and tell me what's bothering you."
He continued to pace, too wound up to sit. "I've seen him, Angela."
"Who? The guy, the one we've been looking for?" At Booth's despondent nod, her eyes widened. "You know him?"
"No, I don't know him, but I've seen him before... somewhere. I just can't remember where." His pacing was picking up tempo, his fists balled by his side, and Angela was starting to worry he might just implode. She sighed.
"Booth, why don't you take some time this afternoon for yourself?" she suggested. The glare he gave her was intense, but she would not be dissuaded. "You have spent almost an entire week at the hospital and when you're not there, you're scrounging around for info on the case. You haven't had a decent night's sleep and you are constantly worried. You need to do something to vent some of that energy."
"I don't want to leave her alone, Ange."
"I know, but she won't be alone. I'll be here for moral support and those two behemoths in the hall will be here to keep us safe. Maybe you can go spend some time with Parker, take a walk, I don't know. Just relax and reboot. Maybe not thinking about it for a while will help."
Booth silently acknowledged the validity of her proposal.
"Besides, I need you to come back here and take the night shift," she added, winking.
He rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'm going. If only so that I don't have to hear any more of your clever innuendos! But I want one of the agents in here with you two at all times when I'm not here." Angela twitched a bit at spending the afternoon with some stranger watching her, but agreed. It was probably in the best interests of Brennan's safety. And if it was the only way to get Booth to go relax, she would put up with it.
After checking all the windows twice and conferring with the other agents, Booth finally left. A quick call to Rebecca confirmed that Parker was free that afternoon and Booth found himself looking forward to spending some carefree time with his son.
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Angela puttered around for the next hour, trying to pretend like there wasn't someone else in the room just watching. She had tried to talk to him, but he had quietly informed her that it wasn't protocol for agents to be overly friendly with their protectees. She finally wandered into the kitchen to prepare some lunch for when Brennan woke up. She put together a simple, albeit somewhat bland in deference to her friend's medically recommended diet, tofu stir fry with some rice noodles. She had just turned the heat to low to keep it warm, when she heard a noise from the bedroom.
Hovering outside the door, she heard Brennan thrashing around and hurried in to try to quiet her before she hurt herself. Perching on the edge of the bed, she looked at her best friend's face, drawn tight with fear and pain. She reached out to gently shake her shoulder, but before she could touch her, Brennan's eyes flew open and her legs kicked out, one knee catching Angela in the side, knocking her from the bed with a grunt.
"Bren!" Angela yelled. Her friend shook herself as she took stock of where she was. She looked around seeing her own room, her familiar things, and incongruently, her best friend sprawled on the floor.
"Angela, what happened?" she asked.
Angela used the bed to help get herself back to a standing position and she took her seat next to Brennan once again. Rubbing her side, she answered, "We had a little collision sweetie. Are you okay?" She looked at Brennan, whose breathing was still a little quicker and her eyes still wider than normal.
Brennan shook her head and reverted to her standard answer. "I'm fine. What collision?"
"You were having a dream and when I came to check on you, you kind of kneed me."
Brennan's eyes focused on where Angela was rubbing the side of her belly. "Angela, the baby!" she exclaimed. "We need to get you to a doctor."
Angela waved her hand. "We're fine. I mean, look at how much padding the baby has."
Brennan struggled to a sitting position. "Angela, I insist." Her voice raised in pitch. "You can't take any chances."
Angela chuckled. "And I thought it was the pregnant woman that was supposed to be hysterical." She took her friend's hand and placed it on her belly. "Feel that? Junior is kicking me from inside way harder than you got me outside!" She looked at Brennan's worried face and relented. "Okay, I assure that nothing is wrong, but if it will set your mind at ease, I will go see the doctor after Booth gets back."
Brennan's face fell. Although she should have realized when he didn't come storming into the room at all the commotion, she was disappointed to learn that he wasn't there. Angela smiled. "I'm sure he'll be back soon. I had to pretty much kick him out. I sent him to go relax for a while. He was kind of hitting the top of the stress meter."
Brennan took a deep breath, trying to get a hold of her jumbled emotions. Booth had every right to go take a break; he had put in more time than expected taking care of her and keeping her company this week. She couldn't expect him to continue to put his life on hold for her.
Angela added, "If you're hungry, I have some lunch waiting." Pushing aside her dejected feelings, Brennan nodded and gingerly stood up. Together, they headed to the kitchen.
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Booth returned around dinnertime, worn out by his afternoon activities with Parker, but relaxed. A look of relief crossed the two women's faces as soon as he walked through the door, nodding to the other agent that he could take up a post back in the hall.
Brennan exclaimed, "Booth, you're back!" She was very glad that he had returned because no matter what Angela said, she wasn't going to feel comfortable until Angela's baby was pronounced fine by an obstetrician. There was also a part of her that had just plain missed him. She couldn't deny how happy she was to see him.
Angela was just happy to get away from the silent, gun-toting agent that had kept them 'company' all afternoon. She was reminded again of what a unique agent Booth was, at least partly due to the influence of the Jeffersonian gang.
Booth was concerned at the urgency of his greeting. "Did something happen? Are you two okay?" The agent in the hallway hadn't reported anything unusual.
"I'm fine," Brennan answered. "But Angela needs to go the hospital and she refused to go until you returned."
"The hospital?"
Angela rolled her eyes. "She bumped my belly when I was waking her up and now she is insisting that I get checked out."
As Angela had expected, his overprotective instincts kicked in. "Angela, why didn't you call me? Let's get you out of here."
She held her hands up and spoke very clearly, looking him straight in the eye. "I am okay. I'm going to go to the doctor just to set Bren's mind at ease. You need to stay here. Jack is already on his way over to pick me up."
Booth nodded his assent, despite Brennan's protestations. "Bones, she seems fine. If it's not an emergency, there's no sense in dragging you out of here. It's not good for your health or your security."
She grudgingly agreed. She wouldn't admit it but just sitting up for the afternoon had been quite draining. They sat together in the living room until Hodgins arrived.
Angela smiled as she grabbed her bag to leave. "Take care you two. I'll let you know when the doctor says everything is fine. Have a good night." She slipped out the door leaving them alone.
They looked at each other, feeling suddenly unsure. Booth hadn't been to her apartment for over a year, not since before Maluku and Afghanistan, before Hannah. She sought for something to say, uncertain why it was suddenly so difficult.
"How was your day? Did you achieve a satisfactory level of relaxation?"
Booth smiled uneasily, feeling no more comfortable than she was. "Yeah, uh, you know. I spent some time with Parker, we tossed a ball around, it was good." He nodded. "Actually, would you mind if I grabbed a shower?"
Trying to ignore the slight quickening of her heartbeat, she responded, "Of course not. You know where it is."
"You sure you'll be okay?"
"Booth, I think I can manage for 20 minutes all by myself."
"Yeah, sure, of course you can." He winced inwardly as he thought of what she could get up to in 20 minutes. But she looked pretty settled on the couch. "Can I get you anything? Something to drink, something to read?"
"No, thank you. I think I'm going to just rest for a bit." He nodded and headed for the bathroom as she leaned her head against the back of the couch.
He was toweling off after a quick shower when he heard a crash from the kitchen. Grabbing a pair of sweats from his overnight bag, he slid into them as he headed to the source of the sound, picking up his gun from the bureau as he passed. He met up with one of the protective agents also on the way to investigate. Hurrying in to the kitchen, they found her sitting on the floor, trying to pull herself up onto a chair that had been dragged over to the cabinets.
Though her face betrayed some discomfort, she smiled ruefully at them. "I thought I'd get some dinner ready for you, Booth."
The other agent lowered his weapon. "I'll be back outside," he said brusquely and left.
"Why didn't you call me?" he asked, exasperation evident in his voice. "I would have helped." He leaned over to help her up to sit on the chair. She was uncomfortably aware of his state of semi-dress and disengaged from him as soon as she was sure she was stable on the chair.
"Booth, I have to be able to do these things for myself."
"Not immediately, Bones. You're still recovering."
She looked uncomfortable. "I don't want to depend on you," she said softly.
"Why not?"
"Because you won't always be here. Eventually you will find another girlfriend or something else that will become more important than I am." Though she hid it well, Booth heard the heartbreak in her voice.
He shook his head. "I don't want that."
"Well, that's the order of things. You've moved on, you no longer have those feelings for me that you once did. You said as much in the car that night." She held her voice very steady. She had to impress upon him that this was an acceptable state of affairs.
"No, Bones. God, no." He maneuvered so that he could look her straight in the eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes were wide and glassy as she held back tears. "I never said that I didn't love you. And if that's what you heard, I am so sorry. I had to make a decision that night. I made the wrong one. I thought you were being over-emotional due to the case and I was afraid that you would wake up the next morning and think you had made a mistake."
He took her hands in his. "So many people have walked away from you in the past, but I won't. Not again. If you still want to try this, try us, I'm in. If not, we just keep going as we are." He smiled, though his heart was hammering in his chest. He had not anticipated having this discussion tonight. "I'll take you any way I can get you."
She looked at him quizzically. "Are you saying...? What are you saying?"
His heart was in his throat. "I didn't want to say anything until we had all of this behind us. The case, your recovery. Crises can make people behave strangely and I want you to have full confidence in what I am about to say to you." She nodded, trust warring with fear in her eyes.
He knelt in front of her. "I love you, Temperance Brennan. I love you and I will take whatever you feel that you can give me. I am praying that you still want to give us a chance, but..."
She interrupted. "Booth." He stilled, waiting for what felt like the most important announcement of his life. She smiled. "I do." She leaned forward a bit, ignoring the slight pain in her torso, and pressed her lips to his, lightly at first, then as he responded, more and more fervently. After a minute, she could no longer ignore the pain in her belly and pulled back, flushed and panting.
Instantly, Booth was on his feet, helping her up. "Let's get you to bed."
She chuckled lightly. "While tempting, I don't think that is the most prudent course of action at this point."
He laughed, as he tucked her against his side and led her toward the bedroom. "That's not what I meant. I meant that you need to rest, so I'm going to tuck you in, get you your meds, and let you get your sleep."
She couldn't deny the feeling of disappointment that surged through her, but she allowed him to do as he proposed. After she took her pills, he sat carefully on the bed next to her. "So," he said, not exactly sure where to go from here. "I'll just let you get some sleep then."
He got up and headed for the hallway when her voice stopped him. He turned back to see her looking very unsure of herself.
"Booth, would you stay with me tonight?" She found it hard to force the words out. Years of habit making it difficult to ask anyone for anything.
"Stay with you?" he asked, unsure what exactly she was requesting.
She indicated the other side of her queen-size bed. "I just feel that I don't want to be alone right now." She berated herself for only revealing half the truth. She had not been truly alone for almost a week and was indeed loath to be by herself, but she also knew that it was Booth that she wanted to stay with her, more than anyone else.
If she hadn't been injured, he would have taken a flying leap onto the bed. Given the circumstances, he merely contented himself with walking back to the bed as quickly as possible. As he approached, he confirmed, "You sure?"
She smiled and reached a hand out to him. "Yes, I am."
Booth felt like he was walking on air as he slid gently under the sheets, trying not to jostle her. She smiled and wiggled over a bit so that her shoulder was touching his. Given this implicit permission, he turned on his side and softly placed his hand on her shoulder. She didn't say anything, just rubbed her cheek against his hand and closed her eyes. This was possibly the safest she had felt since the shooting, his presence warming her almost as if he physically held her.
He watched her as she fell asleep. He thought she looked more peaceful than she had at any point in the hospital and oh so beautiful. He gently brushed his fingers across her cheek, his heart warming as she smiled in her sleep. Closing his eyes, he fell into a peaceful slumber alongside her.
His dream started shortly thereafter, a muddled memory of last year's September 11 memorial event at the Pentagon. He had attended with other stateside members of his old unit; many other groups also shared a mixture of active duty and former soldiers. In his dream, he wandered through the crowd, urgently looking for something or someone. Then he saw him, the face that had been haunting him for days. He was in uniform, Booth saw, but not military. He struggled to see through the haziness of the dream.
A muffled voice and a dull thud cut through his dream state, pulling him to alertness. As he sat up, reaching for his gun from where he had placed it on the night table. Sitting silently, he heard the rattling of the doorknob as someone struggled with the lock.
"Bones," he whispered, putting one hand gently on her back where she had halfway turned on her side. "Bones, wake up."
She moved a bit, then tried to snuggle back into the covers. Booth cursed the medication as he shook her, gently but firmly.
"Booth?" came her voice finally, very irritated.
"Shh, there's someone trying to get in." Panicked, she tried to sit up, only to sag back as she felt the strain across her abdomen. "You stay here, I'm going out there. Call 911," he ordered as he slipped out of bed.
Suddenly, his dream came back to him and in a flash, he realized who it was that Brennan had described. He turned back and quickly amended his statement, "Don't call the cops. Call Hacker and have him send agents here ASAP, but no cops. Make sure he understands that."
"Booth, what's going on?" she asked, even as she reached for the phone.
He realized that it had been silent for a while now. "No time. I'm locking the door behind me. Don't open it for anyone except me or Hacker."
She wanted to protest but he was out the door before she could. Dialing with shaking fingers, she relayed his message and hung up, ignoring the questions coming from the other end of the line. She stared at the blank door, straining to hear anything from the other side.
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Booth moved silently down the hallway. He listened intently, but heard nothing. Stepping out into the living room, he saw the door still closed, everything looked in order. He started across the room to see if the lock had been tampered with. His heart sank after one step as he felt the muzzle of a gun against his back.