Before long, they arrived at a building. Hao pulled up the car and parked it. Much to Ren's relief, the annoying music stopped and Hao's bling-age disappeared.

"Huh?" Ren asked. "Where are we?"

He peeked out the car's grimy window and stared at the wooden sign nailed to the front of the building.

"EH!? Why are we at the post office, kisama!?"

Hao shrugged. "I'm too lazy to go all the way to China...so I'm going to mail you back to your family and ask them to send the money to me later!"

Ren twitched as Hao busily began scribbling on a ratty piece of paper. Looking over his shoulder, Ren read the letter Hao had written. Apparently, someone had not passed kindergarten.

Dere Mr. and Mrs. Tao,

My name iz Asakura Hao and I hav ur son with me. I sended him to you via expres maile in a big cardbored box. U will probablee get dis lettur befure u get da deliverie, but it shuld arive soon. In exchanje fur my favur, I expekt dat u sent me da money rewurd. I am onlee asking fur $1,000,000,000,000. U can send it in cash, or u can make a check to me. Eithur way iz ok. I hope u are happee when ur belovud son returnes home and I wish u all da best in life.

Regaurds, Asakura Hao

Ren frowned. "It's illegal to ship humans, you dolt."

Hao ignored him. "They won't notice."

Confused, Ren watched as Hao smugly sealed the envelope and stuck on some tacky stamps.

He then grabbed Ren and shoved him into a giant box he had in his car trunk.

Ren screeched in muffled protest as Hao cheerfuly duct-taped the box shut and placed some stamps on it as well. With a grunt, he picked up the box and his letter and marched into the post office.

"Good day, sir," said a man in a postal uniform as Hao placed the articles on the counter. "What can we do for you today?"

Hao smiled and said, "I'd like you to send this package and letter to the provided address."

From inside the box, Ren screamed, "LET ME OUT!!!"

The employee twitched. "Why is your delivery talking?"

"Oh," Hao said casually. "It's a Tickle-Me-Elmo that I'm sending to my friend in China. I guess when I put the box down, the toy got bumped, therefore setting of the Tickle-Me-Elmo sensors and making it talk."

The postman looked at him real strange before saying, "Alright, sir. Your delivery will arrive at its destination in about a week."

"Thank you," Hao said cheerfully, skipping away with dollar bill signs hovering in his eyeballs.

All of a sudden, Ren felt the box being lifted and carried someways before it was tossed carelessly into a mail slot.

"Ow!" Ren screeched as he bumped his head during the fall.

And now, it's time to play the waiting game.

After about an hour of screeching and flailing, Ren felt the mail container being emptied into a truck. Without warning, the truck then took off. It was a terribly bumpy ride, and Ren found himself being bumped all over the place.

He was hungry, thirsty, cramped, and mad as hell. Slowly, Ren began to formulate his plan of escape.