Locke and Key: A Nuzlocke Story
A/N: Whoo. Long chapter. (: Thanks for the reviews, and also - thanks to the Alerts and Favorites! It made my day to see all of that!
"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live forever is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever."
-The Crow, 1994
The next few days were hard.
I couldn't bring myself to think about it too much, but when I finally did, I didn't like what I saw in my head. I didn't like that I was risking lives. I didn't like that I was taking Pokemon from the wild only to ruin their lives, then fucking taking them.
I didn't like myself, and for that I'm sorry even now, but it's only the truth, and that's what I've sworn to tell here.
After Yenra's burial, my team and I traveled south. I hadn't beaten Misty – I hadn't even ventured into her gym yet – but my Pokemon team was diminished twice now since I'd come to Cerulean.
Looking back, that city took a lot of lives from my team, but I left stronger for it. I know that now.
There was a small, homey-looking building amid patches of tall grass. A sign outside the building read "Day-Care Man: I'll Level Up Your Pokemon For Free".
I disregarded him; I was worried about the tall grass, instead.
Looking tentatively at Tobias, who stood by my side, nose and whiskers quivering as he smelled the air, we walked into the grass and were ambushed by a Pidgey.
"Huh. Well, it's a decent level," I thought, then smiled and threw a Poke Ball. The bird broke free and fluttered up into the air, hovering above ground to snicker at me, it seemed.
"Shit. Tobias, Quick Attack, but be gentle," I told my Raticate.
'Gentle' wasn't in his vocabulary, but luckily the Pidgey was a tough one. Clinging to one gristle of HP, it went without struggling into my next Poke Ball.
"Aero," I said, and although Kashen wasn't out, I could feel approval – call me crazy; sometimes I even think it myself.
Aero proved to be a good choice. Level 15 at capture, he was a perfect filler for Yenra the Abra, and within a few battles, he'd stopped walking around, proudly preening his white and brown feathers, and he began glowing white.
"Pidgeoooo," cried my new bird as he lifted itself into the air on much stronger, prettier, more impressive wings. I cheered inside – a Pidgeotto, probably lots better than Green's! Aero flapped his wings once, sending a Gust attack at the Bug Catcher's Caterpie; the thing went flying, and we went on to our next victory.
The road we were on had a lot of trainers on it, but they all seemed to be interested in other things beside battling, I noticed as we walked on.
A boy and a girl stood next to one another, lips puffy, glistening and red. I wonder what they were doing.
"Hey," I called, rushing up to them, Aero on my shoulder, "We need to battle. We're almost ready to fight Misty—"
"Well, you're off track," the boy said, pulling away. Even his hair was mussed. Jeez, they're really going at it, I thought smugly. "This path will take you to Vermillion City, where Lt. Surge is the gym leader."
"Oh. I'll have to remember that for after I beat Misty. So, battle me?" I asked, smiling.
He sighed heavily.
"...Fine."
He reluctantly pulled away from his girlfriend, revealing a single Poke Ball on his belt. His girlfriend looked less than pleased to be interrupted, but who gave a shit about her?
"Go, Squirtle!" He called. I blinked, realizing something as I gazed at little blue turtle. Besides Green, this guy was the only person I'd met with a starter Pokemon, which seemed slightly ironic to me.
"Aero, go."
"Pidgeoo," he cooed, sweeping into the air majestically and landing dramatically, sending sand flying into the Squirtle's eyes.
"Squirtle squirt," it bubbled, raising a trembling paw to wipe grit from its gaze, as Aero flapped his wings to send a spiraling gust into its shell-protected belly.
"No! Squirtle, Water Gun, quick!" The camper cried, adjusting his hat to hide his bedroom look as we battled.
"Aero, take the hit. We're not going to be fancy here; you're going to win no matter what." My arrogance should have bitten me in the ass right there, but nope. It waited. Karma waits like a preying tiger in the shadows of a rain forest, does it not?
"Okay, Aero, finish it off with a Gust!"
Aero's strong wings sent another small tornado into the Squirtle. He went down, and, happily, I raised my fist.
"Great! Another win! We haven't lost yet, Aero!"
He looked my way, black-masked eyes smiling when his beak couldn't. "Pidgeooootto," he agreed.
My Pidgeotto lifted his wings to fly into the sky again, circling the other trainers - and basically just showing off. I should have named him Green, truthfully; he was so vain.
The guy who lost scooped up his Squirtle to return it, glaring at me. His girl touched his shoulder, looking determined.
"You interrupted us for that? That battle was pathetic." Her grin was cold. I smirked right back at the dumb bitch, wearing a stupid camping outfit. Maybe her boyfriend wasn't into nurses or Catwoman or police officers.
"Pathetic, huh? Tell your boyfriend to either get a pair of balls or some better Pokemon, then," I snapped right back at her.
"You bitch. Go, Rattata!" She cried, sending it down in a flash of white. It seemed to hiss in its own rat-like way as it glared, purple and proud, at me.
Uh, no.
"Aero, come on, Sand Attack!" I cried, pointing my finger at the rodent. At my command, my glorious Flying-type swooped down, its turbulence sweeping up sand and dust from the ground to sweep lavishingly into the Rattata's eyes. However, just as a wingful of dirt was aimed for its face, the trainer called,
"Quick Attack!"
Moving like lightning, the Rattata moved underneath Aero and then came up under his pale, low-flying belly, sending him up into the air with a painful squawk. The dust in his wings fell to the ground, useless and unspent.
"Ugh! Aero! Use—"
"Rattata, Hyper Fang!"
"Not so fast!" I thought quick. "Aero, keep yourself in the air! Don't let that thing's teeth near you!"
Shaken, Aero flew as high as he could – which, without the HM move Fly, was not very high. It was just out of the Rattata's reach, really. Bird Pokemon could fly the highest of all Flying types, but without the move Fly, no Pokemon could truly soar – especially in a battle. Outside of battle, they could go to higher altitudes, as long as no human clung to them.
I could tell, Aero was tired of waiting for a command, and truthfully, I was too. His black-patched eyes glared down predatorily at the Rattata.
"Okay, Aero, swoop down with your own Quick Attack!"
Aero looked tentative, but he did tuck his wings into his side and cannon down into the girl's Rattata. It was hit, but as it flinched in pain, it quickly latched its glowing teeth into Aero's wing. The Pidgeotto squawked again in more sudden pain, but out of panic, he attempted to fly upwards, tearing the teeth further into his flesh and feathers.
"Aero, no! Quick, use Gust! Get it off!" I cried, getting frantic. Angrily, Aero used his remaining wing to weakly beat at the gnawing rat. The beating caused a small Gust attack to blow it away, spiraling back to its trainers feet.
"Oh, thank God, Aero. Good job." I spritzed his wing with a Potion I had in my bag, noticing that it didn't get healed all the way, but at least he wasn't on the brink of death anymore.
"Pidgeoo," he cooed, satisfied.
"Fine. Go, Pikachu!" The camper slut called, sending out a small yellow mouse-thing. It was far cuter than Rattata, and from the charged red sacs on its cheeks, I knew it was also more powerful.
"Aero…" I knew I should have switched. But I was a fool, as usual. "Aero, we can do this. You're so close to level twenty!"
"Pidgeoo," he agreed savagely. At least he was with me to the end.
"Pikachu, Thunder Wave!"
"Piiikaa!" It cried - a battlecry, I guess - cutely.
The sacs began to spark, then the rat's whole body was sparking. A weak thunderbolt flew at Aero, but it clipped his wings effectively, paralyzing him.
"No! Ughh. Aero, Quick Attack, come on!"
"Pikachu, use Quick Attack, too!"
Despite his paralysis, Aero grudgingly flexed sparking, numb wings, attempting to fly over quickly as possible. His gait was slow, however, and the Pikachu was fast – faster than any Quick Attack I'd ever seen. At the time, it was unbeknownst to me that Electric types could move almost at the speed of light.
Needless to say, the Quick Attacks collided. Aero's wasn't so quick, but he recovered rapidly.
"Aero, Gust!" I called, forgetting that it wasn't very effective.
However, when he raised his wings for combat, they froze up. Fully paralyzed. Shit.
"Okay, Pikachu, use Thundershock!"
No, no... "No!"
"Piiikaaachuuu!" It cried, leaping into the air and spewing electricity. It stunned my frozen Pidgeotto, and, exhausted and used, Aero stumbled briefly on shaking talons. His feathers were charred in places, and his body was scratched; he glanced towards me, murmuring "Pidgeoo," before he collapsed in a heap of burning feathers.
My mind went blank as I stood there, almost not comprehending the sight before me. My Pidgeotto. Dead. I had just caught him a few hours earlier - a young fowl, little spry Pidgey, and now he was dead. Again, my team's fourth member had fallen. At my expense.
I stepped forward, touched him hesitantly; he was already cold.
"Aero. You did so well, buddy. You deserve a rest." I lowered my eyes, ashamed to meet the eyes of my challenger or her murdering Pikachu. Aero's Poke Ball sucked his dead body up, then grew cold to the touch as I tucked it away in my backpack.
"Kashen, go!"
The rage didn't rip through me until my Charmeleon was released; flames were already spewing in his mouth, violence untamed, a forest fire waiting to wreck. Could he sense my distress? Was he just raring for blood? An eye for an eye?
"Ember!"
He scorched the trembling little mouse, and the camper girl cried into her boyfriend's wimpy shoulder. I watched them, wondering if she held any remorse for killing my Pidgeotto – but I saw none. I hadn't seen any remorse yet, but I had felt it myself.
Kashen turned to me, eyes damp.
"Charr," he said softly, but I returned him.
I didn't need his comfort.
And... I wasn't willing to face my Pokemon this time.
Aero's grave was near the Day-Care Man's house, in a patch of grass where Pidgeys crooned, Bellsprouts photosynthesized, and cat-like shadows moved around me, unblinking and unseen.
"Bye, Aero. I was hoping you'd stick around to the end, but I was wrong…" As usual.
"Marlen. You're my last hope."
I had released my Pokemon, as the night was young and Misty's door was still wide open. They had trained a little, but we were mostly ready for her and her gym trainers. Kashen stood, arms crossed and face blank; he looked out over the river, where the sunset made the water bleed red. I had a feeling he was deep in thought, though I wasn't sure what about. The deaths of Tradden, Yenra and Aero? All my fault?
Tobias sat away from the rest of the group, looking over us as though he wanted to join us, but knew it was best not too. His solitary nature was still an admirable, if annoying, trait of his.
Xander flitted crazily in the air, attacking children and stop signs. I tried my best to ignore his random screeching.
Marlen sat in my lap, allowing my hands to stroke his fur – pale cream, the color of foam on a cappuccino. He stared up at me, eyes diamond-shaped; they seemed to steal the shine from the golden slab on his forehead. His tail curled behind him, tinted darker brown than his fur, while he groomed his front claws – his weapons of choice.
Marlen was my new Meowth. After burying Aero, I'd gone back to where he'd died – the trail of trainers who had told me I was on the way to Vermillion City. The grass was tall, and the first thing I'd come across was a male Meowth, level twelve. Now Marlen was level seventeen, but I didn't have any more time to train him before the gym closed.
It was now or never.
"Let's go, everyone. Time to get my second gym badge."
Hopefully.
I walked into the building, a little surprised. I expected a replica of Brock's official, bare-looking gym, décor consisting of a boulder here or there to keep with the theme of "here there be Rock types", but I was wrong. The gym had a walkway that offered a route around the gym trainer, and then surreptitiously forced you into a battle with a tough-looking girl in a corner.
Misty sat near a referee, wearing a string bikini and looking bored. Her red hair was down and dripping wet, and she looked undeniably bored. She had two Poke Balls on the belt at her waist – not part of the bikini, I'm guessing – and I knew the Pokemon in them to be Staryu and Starmie.
All around the layout of the floor was a twelve-foot deep pool of heavily chlorinated water. The gym smelled like a fucking water park.
"How do your Pokemon train in that disgusting water?" I said loudly, my voice echoing in the bad acoustics of the room.
Misty laughed, and Diana – her bikini was skimpier than Misty's – smirked. "We train our Pokemon in the lake water outside. This gym's pool is for us." With that, she pulled her long hair back and leapt gracefully into the water, barely making a splash.
The only guy in the gym – some nerd wearing goggles and a Speedo – picked up a Poke Ball.
"Are you going to go around me like everyone else, or can I actually battle today?" He said, rolling his eyes.
"I'll battle you." I nodded to the cat at my side. "Marlen, go!"
"Go, Horsea!"
…Jeez. Were there any manly Water types?
Marlen looked a little afraid to be battling on an arena with so much water around, but I knew there was little chance he'd get knocked in by a Horsea. The cute blue seahorse floated nimbly above ground, then squirted water into my Pokemon's face.
"Meeowth!" He hissed, unsheathing his claws.
"Marlen, Dig!"
Magically clawing his way under the floor of the gym, the cat vanished, and the Horsea stood alone on the battlefield. Looking confused, he backed back up to his trainer – only to be hit from underneath by Marlen. It squealed, then shot a stream of bubbles from its nose.
"Marlen, evade them! Use Bite!"
Teeth gleaming, Marlen leapt for the Horsea, digging his teeth into the Horsea's wet turquoise flesh. It squealed in pain again, and then fluttered down to its trainer's feet, fainted.
"Okay…" the trainer fumbled for his other Poke Ball. "Go, Shellder!"
"Deerrr," a little purple clam said. It had an empty black area for its face, two big derpy eyes, and a drooling tongue. It looked like a winner.
"Marlen, Scratch!"
"Meeowth!" He ran up to the Shellder, dragging his claws over the thing's purple shell. It made a horrendous nails-on-a-chalkboard-noise and left some gridlines, but it hadn't appeared to do any damage.
"Shellder, Icicle Spear!" Called the trainer in a Speedo. It made me slightly uncomfortable to look at him, so I kept my eyes on Marlen and Shellder at all times.
"Shellllder!" It said, shooting a series of long blades of ice at Marlen, who managed to dodge two of them but was hit three times in the sides.
"Meow!" He cried, falling. Blood oozed from the gashes in his flanks. I blinked, realizing that, unless I wanted another casualty on my hands today, I should call him back soon. He was still on fairly good health right now, but…
"Marlen, Dig on Shellder!"
He nodded, holding his paws to his sides, and burrowed underground once more. The Shellder spit water into the hole, but there was no noise from beneath. Suddenly, Marlen came up from underneath the Shellder and sent it skyrocketing.
Still not much damage. Jeez, how much defense did this fucker have?
"Shellder, Icicle Spear!"
"Marlen, evade them! Come on!"
Panting, Marlen looked up, hit by one on his back. He was still doing okay. Another hit – staggering, he still managed to stand. An icicle fell on the side of his head, clipping one soft black kitty ear. He yowled, staggered backwards. Another crashed on his head. He fell flat on his stomach, meowing weakly.
I reached for his Poke Ball, but Icicle Spear hit five times that day.
The last one shattered in his face, and blood dripped from long white whiskers as Marlen gave his last meow.
I sat outside on the sidewalk, smoking my last cigarette. No emotions rolled inside; I was apathetic, worn thin by tragedies one after the other, beaten senseless by guilt and blame.
I hadn't buried Marlen. I didn't have time to go back to the path I'd caught him at, and I still had a driving desire to beat Misty – so Marlen's capture, training, and death wouldn't be for nothing.
I looked at the three Poke Balls in my hands, then at the one stationery in my bag.
Tears clipped the corners of my eyes.
"I'm going to have three fucking Pokemon forever," I mumbled, my voice hoarse.
I'd lost so many since I'd come to Cerulean City. I'd drained every possible route here looking for partners. Tradden, my Sandshrew, killed on Nugget Bridge; Yenra, my Abra, destroyed by a Rocket grunt; Aero, my Pidgeotto, gunned down by a Camper's Pikachu, and Marlen, my Meowth, killed by a gym trainer's Shellder.
It was always my fault. I always took risks, and it was that realization that made me take a long drag on my cigarette, then drop it, snuffing it with one skid of my shoes.
It was time to go back inside, and it was time to make all those deaths worth something.
Diana smirked when I walked back in, but Misty looked surprised.
"Guess you haven't had enough, huh?" The swimmer said smugly.
I smiled right back.
"I guess I never have enough. Care to battle, hooker?"
Diana's eyes nearly popped out of her head, her waterproof mascara making them look all the larger.
"You'll not get away with calling me that, challenger. I'll get rid of all your Pokemon so Misty won't have to bother," she laughed.
Misty said nothing, only looked interested.
"Bring it, bitch."
Diana gripped a Poke Ball – the only one she carried with her, it seemed – to release a high-leveled Goldeen.
Useless. The little red and white, water-tailed goldfish wasn't going to be any match for my Pokemon, even if it did have a horn.
"Go, Tobias."
My Raticate leapt onto the battlefield, and he looked like a berserker.
"Goldeen, Supersonic!"
"Tobias, Quick Attack, then Hyper Fang!"
Rays of confusion rippled into the air, but they missed Tobias completely. Shooting off like a jackrabbit with feet of lightning, he tumbled into the Goldeen at breakneck speed, knocking it over as it wailed in a deep, elegant voice: "Goldeendeen!"
After taking it down, Tobias opened his mouth wide to chomp down on the fish's soft, exposed belly. It flinched and hopped around a lot, but in the end, Tobias won.
"Guess a gym trainer should invest in better Pokemon," I sneered, stepping up to Misty's plate.
She didn't give me the usual speech, only looked down at me with some curiosity.
"You came in here even after your Meowth died?" She asked, but she didn't sound appalled or condescending. She sounded… almost admiring. I didn't like it and I didn't agree.
"Yeah. I know. I'm scum. But…" I looked at Tobias, who quivered angrily at my feet. "…If I don't win this, my Meowth – and all of the other Pokemon who have died for my quest – their deaths will be meaningless."
Misty pondered this, then smiled slightly.
"Challenger, choose your first Pokemon."
I nodded. "Go, Xander!"
Tobias looked crestfallen, but he backed away, giving my wild Golbat enough room.
"Staryu."
Spinning prettily, the genderless, personalityless Staryu appeared, a kind of dull gold starfish with a glowing pink-red gym in its center.
"Xander, use Bite!"
"Staryu, Water Pulse!"
Whoa. Intense attack. At least, more intense than Water Gun.
Xander flew for Staryu, but it blasted him backwards with a pulse of strong water. He dizzily got back to his feet, but I could see he was confused. And I didn't want to battle with a Pokemon liable to hurt himself in his confusion and end up dead.
No more risks, Leaf, you hoe, I thought, then recalled Xander – for now. I glanced at Tobias, who seemed excited to get the chance to battle again. His energy – restless energy, probably; I hadn't used him much recently – could be put to savage good use.
"Tobias, Hyper Fang!"
He lunged for Staryu, who spun in place, trying to knock him away. The fangs on my Raticate lusted blood – or whatever Staryu had in its veins – and clamped on anyways.
The Water type spun around, angry and in pain, I'm guessing, though it made no discernible sounds. Tobias held on, his teeth buried deep in Staryu's cold flesh, until it finally passed out from the pain.
Shaking himself, Tobias jumped back, quivering with what seemed like joy. I thought him slightly maniac, but I sort of liked it at the same time. "Good job, Tobias," I said, scratching him between his ears.
Misty sighed, then called Staryu back.
"Go, Starmie!"
The evolved form of Staryu was unleashed in a flash of brilliant white light; similar to Staryu, Starmie was larger, prettier in purple, and had more… fins? Legs? To Starmie's five. The gem was larger and glowed a deeper red than Staryu's had.
"Tobias. I'm sorry, buddy, but I need Xander for this one," I told the Raticate. He looked a little disappointed, but nodded in surprising agreement.
"Caate."
I sent out Xander after recalling him. In a flash, my big fangbanger opened his large, tenebrous wings, impressively hovering before Starmie.
"Bite, Xander!"
"Starmie, Water Pulse!"
I thought quickly, remembering what had happened to him with Staryu. "Okay, Xander, get hit with Water Pulse; I know it'll hurt, but you'll get to Starmie quicker that way."
Instead of questioning me, Xander recklessly threw himself into the Water Pulse, not getting confused this time, but getting slightly damaged. After throwing droplets off of him by shaking, Xander used dark-powered fangs to cling to Starmie, who made a surreal computerized noise of agony.
Those genderless Pokemon creep me the fuck out, I'm not gonna lie.
Starmie didn't get a chance to use Water Pulse again; thankfully, the large, half Psychic-half Water type had flinched at the pain from Xander's teeth.
"Bite it again, Xander!"
At this slash of the fangs, Starmie's agonized… noise… was echoed throughout the small chlorine-scented gym, and it collapsed, leaving me with my second gym badge – and a victory for the Pokemon I'd lost in Cerulean.
I walked out with Misty's respect, the Cascadebadge, a TM, some more money, and peace of mind – at least, for now.
We camped outside again. I don't care what you hear about the Pokemon Centers – they are not safe places to sleep in. Last time I tried, people tried to molest my Pokemon and tried to sell me drugs I'd never even heard of. Do you know how odd that is? For me to not have heard of a drug?
Kashen looked at the stars with me, Tobias on my lap instead of in the corner alone, and Xander lie calmly by my side – something was off about my Pokemon, but for once, it was in a good way.
Nothing's off, you pessimist, I dared to think, and the next thought brought a real smile to my lips – lips that had been bitten in anger and shame too often, and lips that had trembled but not screamed in grief. They're starting to need you as much as you need them. Hell… they might even be starting to love you, although don't stretch it.
Yeah? Well, maybe I'm starting to love them, too, I thought, stroking Tobias's fur absentmindedly. Yeah. Maybe I am.