A/N: Super thankful for all the super sweet reviews! Thanks a lot, you guys. Don't be afraid to offer constructive criticism. I appreciate that as well. XD Well, on to chapter ten!
Warnings: None for this chapter
The following morning I was roused from my rather comfortless slumber by an overly peppy nurse, just the opposite of the nurse I had encountered last night in the ICU. Very suddenly, it occurred to me that I would not be getting a comfortable nights sleep for quite some time after this.
"Mr. Michaelis?" the red haired nurse shouted curiously in my ear, with a horribly exaggerated cockney accent, "Mr. Michaelis, we're almost rea'y to prep your nephew for surgery. We just need you to sign some forms for us, we do!" I groaned languidly, rubbing the sleep from my exhausted eyes and drowsily taking the forms from her hand.
"What are these?" I asked, stupidly. I planned on reading them anyway, so asking was really just a waste of time, but I was too tired to care.
"Oh, well they're just informed consent agreements. They basically just outline the procedure and ensure that you understand the details and risks involved. You are the boy's legal guardian at the moment, correct?" She grinned, her eyes gleaming with anticipation behind enormous circular glasses. I really dislike people this perky, particularly at work. Nobody truly enjoys life that much. It's not worth the effort it takes to act so happy, if you ask me. Especially if you happen to clean bedpans for a living. . . I just smiled back at her, politely.
"Yes, I am." She giggled. (what on earth was funny in the slightest about that answer, I haven't a clue)
"Great! Well, then you just look those over and sign in the designat'ed spots and return it to the receptionist!" Ugh, what a wonderful individual to be woken up by. Sleeping on that damn chair had given me a horrid pain in my neck and back. Not to mention, I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. My patience for this woman was thin, at best.
"How is he?" I asked her, knowing that instigating conversation with her would only be an additional annoyance on my part. But, obviously, none of that mattered.
"E's conscious. 'Is vit'als are in proper working order and 'e seems to be doing much bet'er. Of course, 'e's still in a great deal of pain. 'Opefully, after the surgery, 'e'll make a quick recovery!" I had to admit, her optimism made me feel a bit more at ease.
"How long will the surgery take?" I asked, feeling really anxious. I just wanted to see him again. I wanted to hear his voice again.
"It's a fairly simple procedure. Unless complications arise, it shouldn't take any more than two hours," she said. Complications? I thought he was doing better?
"What kind of complications?" I asked, inwardly terrified.
"Well, there are always risks of complications during surgery, even the most simple ones. You shouldn't worry though, Dr. Greene is one of the best surgeons in London! He knows what he's doing! He wouldn't operate if he didn't think your nephew was in the proper condition!" Her reassurances did little to lessen my fears. However, worrying wasn't going to help Ciel. This surgery is the only hope he has at making a full recovery. So, I nodded to the nurse and thanked her for her trouble. She bounced off happily.
I then signed the consent forms and gave them, apprehensively, to the receptionist. I grit my teeth and clenched my fists, hoping to whatever God there is that I hadn't just signed Ciel's life away. Surely I was just being paranoid. . . He would be just fine. After all, it is just a broken fibula. He couldn't die from that, could he? Of course he couldn't.
I was content to sit in that uncomfortable orange lobby chair and answer my own questions like a madman, but my empty stomach had other plans for me. It made an atrocious gurgling sound, that bordered on sounding somewhat demonic.
I decided to cater to it, with the hope that getting some food in my body would help to assuage the incessant nausea I felt whenever I thought of Ciel. The food in the cafeteria was all very tempting, though I'm sure I would have settled for just about anything at the moment. I decided on something fast; a bagel and some orange juice. It wasn't much, but it would have to do.
By the time I had finished, I found that I was a bit full. It wasn't too surprising. My stomach has a habit of shrinking significantly after only a day or so of not eating. It has been that way as long as I can remember. (which was a blessing in college)
I left the cafeteria, in search of the nearest restroom. When I found one, it wasn't exactly the sterile environment you might expect from a hospital. It wasn't coated in filth, but it was far from clean. How disgusting. . . I absolutely hate public restrooms. Oh well, c'est la vie, I suppose.
After relieving myself, I tried my best to clean myself up. It was difficult, given what I had to work with, but I managed to make myself look somewhat presentable. I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to tame it a bit.
Then I returned to the critical care lobby to await the news of Ciel's surgery. My little attempt to distract myself had only taken about twenty minutes. Which meant, at most, I had another hour and forty minutes to wait, assuming there are no complications. Although, it didn't seem all that safe to take the obnoxious nurse's estimate to heart. It would only make me worry that much more if I didn't hear anything within that time frame. I would just begin to make up scenarios, which would progressively get worse as time passed, until it eventually evolved into a morbid illusion that would seem so real it would make me retch.
That is just how I am. It is how I have always been. It isn't normal, I know. But who wants to be normal anyway? I certainly don't. 'Normal' doesn't even exist. It's simply a state of mind that differs from person to person. Even if society fabricates a general idea of 'normalcy', it's just that. . . general. Generalizations are not my style.
However, being 'normal' would be a reprieve at the moment. All this distress was sure to be the death of me. What had I gotten myself into? To think, had it not been raining that day, none of this would have happened. Had I just left Ciel there, like I had intended to, I would be at home making breakfast and thumbing through my magazines right about now. I never anticipated the possibility of becoming so enamored with the boy.
The critical care lobby was abound with frenzied emergency personnel wheeling gurneys back and forth. Some of the patients were clearly in worse condition than others. I couldn't help but wonder how many of them would die here tonight. How many tomorrow? Suddenly, I had no further control over my thoughts.
I began to wonder, reluctantly, if Ciel would be among the dead. I had no reason to panic, but I couldn't stop myself. My mind conjured up an image of the downstairs morgue. In it's frigid chamber, lay a steel autopsy table, on top of which rested a dainty corpse covered with a white sheet. Peeking out from the top of that sheet was the beautiful, innocent face of my Ciel, his eyes closed lazily, as though he was simply asleep. His pale skin shimmering, almost translucent, under the bright lamp beaming upon the table.
All this because he couldn't just stay put. He couldn't swallow his pride and just accept that he was still just a child and that he needed someone to care for him. He deserved this fate. . .
What in the hell was I on about? I didn't mean that. Goodness, it was starting already. I was already concocting terrifyingly vivid images of the worst possible outcome. I really needed to relax. He'll be fine. No need to worry.
I rested my head on the back of the chair and closed my eyes, hoping I could just nod off until the nurse returned. No such luck. Instead, I just laid there, hopelessly, and tried not to think about Ciel. Unfortunately, that too proved to be too much to ask. As I expected, each passing minute brought with it one disturbing image after another.
This lasted for about an hour. Until that bubbly nurse came back in the lobby holding a clipboard. She approached me wearing a big toothy grin. That, paired with the fact that it had only been about an hour and a half since I last saw her, made me feel much more at ease.
"Mr. Michaelis! You'll be pleased to know that the surgery was a success, it was!" she screeched, making an effort to do it quietly so as not to disturb the other visitors. "In fact, we are so confident about 'is condition, we've moved 'im from the ICU. I believe 'e's still unconscious, but you can go and see 'im if you'd like! 'E's been moved to room 214, on the second floor!" I let go of another sigh of relief, one that I had been holding in since I arrived at the hospital yesterday. Finally, the validation I had been waiting for; Ciel is okay.
"Thank you," I practically whispered, my grateful smile reflected back at me through the woman's large round glasses. She blushed madly and turned her head away briefly, I suppose to gush. I assume she thought I was grateful toward her. . . What an awkward misunderstanding?
"Well, it was Dr. Greene that did the hard work, sir. But you're welcome!" she screamed, still flushed, "Oh! Also, We prefer that children under the age of 16 have a parent or legal guard'ian staying here with 'em. Most parents take shifts. So, if you could, it would be nice if you could stay with 'im as much as possible!" Well, I was technically on vacation. Some vacation it was turning out to be.
"Of course. I'll be staying in his room then?" I asked, a bit more eagerly than I probably should have.
"Sure! You'll need to obtain special clearance from secur'ity first. After that, you can stay with 'im. There are a few nice comfy chairs in the rooms, so you should be nice and cozy. Also, we would prefer that you use the visitor lavatories, rather than the patient's. But I'm sure you knew that." Of course I knew that. It would be horribly unsanitary. Though, I'm sure the hospital is more concerned about the patient's weakened immune systems. Either way, it didn't need to be said.
"Yes, I figured that much. Thank you nurse." I said, with a curt bow.
"Please, call me Maylene!" she shrieked.
"Thank you kindly, Maylene," I revised. She blushed again and smiled.
"You're welcome, sir! 'Ave a good day then, Mr. Michaelis!" she said, turning on her heel and running off, nearly crashing into another visitor in the process. "I'm so sorry sir! I wasn't watchin' where I was goin' and. . ." I heard her screech as I went to find the stairs. He was only on the second floor, there wasn't much of a reason to take the elevator.
Once I reached the second floor, I began searching for room 214. The room directly to my right was labeled '203', the room beside it was '205'. They were all odd numbers. Which meant, Ciel's room was likely on the left and straight ahead a few yards. Sure enough, about thirty seconds later, I found it.
It wasn't Ciel that was lying in the bed closest to the door. It was an older woman, who seemed so doped up on medication she didn't even know where she was or that anyone else was in the room with her. I passed the curtain separating her bed from the other patient's. On the other side of it, I saw Ciel, looking so angelic he almost appeared to glow in the vague stripes of sunlight peeking in through the half open blinds on the window to my right. He was no longer hooked up to the nebulizer, which made me breathe a little bit easier as well.
I pulled up one of those "comfy" chairs and sat down right beside the boy. His chest was rising and falling slowly. I watched it blissfully for a great number of minutes, just savoring his life. Now that I had him back, I never wanted to lose him again. This wasn't a game anymore. I knew, I had to get serious about this if I wanted to keep him. Somehow, this had all extended far beyond just a means for me to amuse myself. Now, it was about holding on to someone I truly cared about. I don't really think I know what it feels like to truly care about someone this way, but I must care. After all, I don't recall ever going through as much emotional anguish as I have this past week. Ciel leaving hurt me far more than I thought it would.
Staring at him now, his face fixed in an innocent slumber, all the contempt and anger I had been feeling toward him seemed to just flutter away, leaving behind compassion and desire. I felt bombarded with guilt for the hatred I had felt for Ciel while he was gone. He had his reasons for leaving, I understood that. I didn't understand what they were but I respected them nonetheless.
I sat there, watching him sleep, regretting my past animosity, for about fifteen minutes. He remained completely still the entire time, except for his light breathing. I honestly could've watched him all day if he'd let me.
Abruptly, his massive eyes snapped open and he let out a small gasp. When I saw that beautiful azure glistening in the sunlight, I felt butterflies start to soar within my chest.
A/N: Thanks for reading guys! Yeah, I used the common anglicized version of Mey-Rin's name. It seemed to make a bit more sense. I love her, she's just too cute! Sebastian is so hot and cold. It's kind of amusing. XD Anyhow, this chapter is quite short isn't it? Sorry. . . The next chapter is in Ciel's point of view again, hopefully that kind of makes up for it. XD Review if you can find the time, please!
Title: Doves are often seen as a symbol of love, peace, and gentleness.