Every Overwatch player has a point in their gaming career when they realize that an opposing player's success is entirely based on underhanded tactics and shitty mechanics. There are a handful of Overwatch characters that require nearly zilch input but maintain a ridiculous kill potential including Junkrat and Torbjörn. However, one character in particular rises above the rest in terms of completely bogus capabilities.

Hanzo is a character who can shoot down a narrow hallway without consideration for the location of his enemies and get headshots. Hanzo is a character who can one-shot a tank (or at least turn it into a shish kabob). Hanzo is a character who gets "play of the game" by shooting a wall.

Now, this narrator has a lot of respect for Hanzo players. They have stuck to a character who is hated universally. Even Bastion finds room in the hearts and minds of the Overwatch community, but Hanzo is still stuck in his reserved part of the garbage dump. That said, unless you literally cannot play any other character, there is no excuse for using Hanzo. Every other character in Overwatch has better synergies, potential, and versatility. This is why when one needs a few healers, one should force Brad to play Lucio and maybe invite Oasis to the party. One should not invite Shenpai and Neptune to the party; that's a bad idea. Nevertheless, that's what Elliott did.

Perhaps, by some predisposition, the reader does not agree with me. Consider this: the time in Sydney, Australia is ten hours ahead of the time in Germany, where Shenpai lives. Neptune lives in Canada. The horrifying amalgamation of time zones alone should be enough warrant off an Overwatch player from forming this team. As Sean would say, Elliott is a fucking idiot.

"Ughnn…" the perturbed German lady moaned, "Why are you guys inviting me at like… five in the morning?"

Brad spoke up. "Because neither time nor space shall separate you and I, my dear." He said it with as much poise as he could muster.

Sean chuckled. "Shut up, Brad."

Brad brought his mouth closer to his mic and spoke in a whisper. "I have to keep the juices flowing so that when she gets over here, we can sex it up," he said, "I mean, whaaaat…"

"Oh, Brad," Sean replied, "Please no…"

Shenpai reacted. "Wait, wha…"

"Nice, Brad," Elliott said in a condescending tone, "Nice."

"That… that doesn't even make sense!" Shenpai cried.

"Mmmm, sure it does!" Brad insisted, "You just have to think... harder… about it."

"Guuhh…" Sean moaned.

"Mmmmm, n-noo… no," Shen replied, giggling nervously.

Then Neptune joined the party. "Whazzup bitches!"

"Oh, thank God!" Shen exclaimed, "You have to save me Dayne."

"Were the boys being mean to you, Shenpai?" Neptune asked diligently.

"Of course not!" Brad promptly said, "That's ridiculous!"

"Y-yes…" Shen whimpered.

All excitement abandoned Brad's voice. "Shenpai…" He was uncharacteristically dejected.

"Aww, it's okay now," Dayne continued, "Don't you cry. Mama's here now."

Shenpai loosed her crocodile tears into Neptune's shunning trap. "Thanks, mooom."

Brad was half laughing, half crying. "How could you betray me like this?"

"Okay, the fuck is happening right now?" Sean interjected.

"Sean," Baz said, "You should probably just let this take its course."

"Never!" Sean grunted, "We're men! We have to take life by the balls and give it what for!"

Confused, Baz asked, "Are you sure you're not confusing being a man with being a sadist?"

"What!? No!" Sean exclaimed.

Then Neptune chimed in. "Don't listen to him Sean. Everybody knows Baz doesn't have any balls."

"Pfft, wh-haha-at?" Sean bellowed.

"I… I-I take great offense from that statement," Bazza replied in a dignified manner.

"Good!" Neptune shouted, "I meant for you to take offense!"

"Yeah," Shen cheered, "You tell 'em, mom!" Both of the girls were laughing without restraint.

"Well, good!" Baz retorted, "It's not like I wanted you to be nice to me or anything! I'll just pretend like you don't exist anymore!"

"Good!" Neptune said in her bitter tone, "It's not like I wanted you to pay more attention to me or anything! Stupid!"

"Idiot!" Baz said with a huff.

"Jesus Christ!" Elliott shouted, "Would you two shut up!?"