Ok so it wasn't the same day but I have a legitimate excuse. I was watching Star Trek. But anyway once again they are reading THE BOOK (haha that amuses me). In previous chapters I sometimes have focused too much on one specific characters comments or mostly the OC's or mostly the students. I'm trying to get better at that though. And so the students of Hogwarts and AudienceofDeath's OC's bravely return to reading the infamous Harry Potter bad fic for your amusment.

Tye sat on the bonnet of the car and waited with the expression of a mildly annoyed pre-school teacher as he waited for everyone wanting to listen to take and seat and shut up.

"Chapter 9." Tye announced.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

"Some how I really doubt that Snape actually has a religious view" Harry mused "and I am not a satanist."

"I was wondering if he'd get to that" Ron smirked.

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

"Well I don't know about you guys but I really needed to know that" Jess remarked with more than a little sarcasm. There were a few joking nods of agreement.

"Shut up" Malfoy snapped.

"You could always leave" muttered Kenna. Malfoy pretended not to have heard hoping the no one would notice and comment about the fact that he seemed slightly interested in the plotless story.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!

"I think we picked up that it was Voldemort" Ron interrupted "but I have to ask...what movie?"

His answer came in the form of confused shrugs by everyone gathered.

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"She got it wrong" Hermione started but was silenced by Ron when he informed her that no one cared and could all tell for themselves that she had gotten it wrong.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream.

Tye frowned at the page and everyone else blinked in confusion. After a least a minute the silence was broken by Ron with a rather loud snort of laughter. He was soon joined in his hysterics by everyone who had ever had the bad luck to spend more than thirty seconds with Hermione's cat. Hermione glanced around at the giggling crowd with an affronted look which soon turned into a pout.

I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

For some odd reason this seemed to amuse Jess and Joe to no end and they resumed rolling around on the ground laughing.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"

"Why is he speaking old english" Hermione frowned.

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden.

"I think I just threw up in my mouth a little" Harry gagged.

I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

"You don't say" over half the crowd muttered.

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun.

"Why would she need a gun she's meant to be a witch isn't she" Lucia asked.

"No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

Malfoy found himself turning a light shade of pink at being reminded his role in the story.

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

"Oh you've got to be kidding it's like all she talks about" Hermione pointed out.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.

"I get that" Jess nodded "I've had that look on my face since chapter one."

Most of the gathered students agreed.

"I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly.

"I think she means telepathy" Hermione commented (I have no idea whether it's worth noting or not but when writing that line I imagined Cas (Castiel from Supernatural) saying it the same way he says "technically it's an overcoat" in the Ghostfacers meet Castiel video.)

"And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

"I honestly don't know what to make of that" remarked a Ravenclaw fifth year.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

Malfoy found the light pink returning.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"A little casual don't you think" Fred commented.

"And too many exclamation points" Gorge replied.

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

The light pink tinge was darkening at steady pace till it became tomato red.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

The tomato red became beetroot red. Unfortunately for Malfoy this did not escape the notice of the students around him who started laughing.

"I wonder if it's actually possible to walk while making out with someone" Tye mused. He received several weird looks and was forbidden from reading the next chapter by Ron ho wanted another go.

Actually in hindsight it wasn't that legitimate an excuse. I doubt it would make it any better if I said it was Next Generation. Hmmm lets find out. Comment to say whether or not watching Star Trek: Next Generation is a good excuse for not finishing and posting this chapter on the same day.