So, I honestly feel like you are all going to be let down by the whole "big fight thing" But remember, Emma is Emma and she pushes people away. Also, at this time, she is dealing with what we thing is depression. And Killian can only handle so much while dealing with his new life. The stress sometimes is just to much.

Also, I am sure many of you are wondering: Now what? I wanted to pull an Adam and Eddy and get to the "big moment" in the middle of the story, like how they had the curse break at the end of season 1 instead of the end of the series. A large part of this fic is going to be them dealing with their demons and figuring out how to move on. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10: Da Capo

By September, senior year was in full swing. Students were drowning in papers and projects and Emma and the rest of the gang were just trying to enjoy what was left of their college experience. After this year things would change and they would all go in their separate directions.

It was a Monday night and Emma was supposed to go meet Ruby and Mary-Margaret for dinner. She was running late from a study group and needed to swing by the dorm to grab her student id so she could actually get into the cafeteria. After three years of college, she still could not remember to carry the plastic card around with her, resulting in many extra trips to her dorm.

Emma shucked off her bag in a hurry and rummaged through her nightstand drawer until she found her ID. Right when she was about to grab her jacket and leave, a voice caught her attention. She looked up to see Killian leaning in the doorway.

Surprised, she asked slowly, "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd surprise you. I had to drop something off for Robin and decided that since I was here I would stop in and say hello."

Emma moved her backpack to her desk and, while unzipping it, looked up at him. "How long have you been waiting here?"

"Only a few minutes. I texted Ruby to make sure you were in tonight and she told me just to wait for you in her room. I didn't want to startle you."

Emma looked back down at her bag with a small smile. It was not foreign that he would show up in her room unannounced, but that was when he was a student here. She had not seen much of him since his graduation and he must have assumed that it would be weird to just randomly wait for her in her room.

"Swan, are you avoiding me?"He said after a few moments of silence.

"What? Of course not." She stepped away from her desk. "Look, I'm talking to you right now."

He stayed planted in his spot, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. "You know what I mean, love."

"Milah busy tonight?" Emma changed the subject.

"Meeting."

Emma hummed and went ahead and started putting some of her books away. "That why you came by tonight?" The words came out of her mouth before she could convince herself to be nice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He unfolded his arms and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Nothing." Emma said causally. "Just that you spend most of your time with her, is all."

"What, are you jealous, Swan?" There was a bit to much annoyance in his tone.

"In your dreams," Was her quick retort. The stood in silence for a few moments before she said to him, "Did you need something or did you just stop by?" She knew it was a bit of a smirky remark, but she could not help herself.

"I already told you that I was stopping by, Swan."

"Right, sorry."

There was a tension in the air and Emma knew they were both too stubborn to let anything go. They had not spoken consistently in weeks and when they did talk it was arguing about the fact that their schedules never matched.

Emma did not know when things changed. Their friendship took a complete one eighty within a matter of seconds and she did not know what set him off. Since the very beginning, she knew how hard it would be when he graduated and they did not see each other everyday, but she did not consider the fact that they would ever stop talking like they were. Their own individual busyness and stresses were starting to add up and affect their friendship.

"Ruby and Mary-Margaret are waiting for me at the dining hall." She finally said.

"Of course they are." He muttered under his breath with a huff.

"What's that supposed to mean, Killian?" Instinctively she moved her hands to her hips.

"You're busy. Again. Shocker." His voice was bitter and she could tell it was months of resentment starting to boil over.

"I've got to eat. You're the one who came at dinner time."

He took a step into the room and ran a hand through his hair. "That's not what I bloody mean. Every time I try to see you, you're busy. But for some strange reason, you are never too busy for everyone else." Emma knew there was truth to his claim, but she was not the type of person to go down without a fight.

"Oh yeah?" How often are you out with Milah?"

"She's my girlfriend, Emma." He used her first name. Not love, not lass, not even Swan. He meant business." "Of course I spend time with her. And don't try to turn this around on me."

She gritted her teeth. "Isn't this about you? You're the one who withdrew not me."

"Withdrew from what?"

"I don't even get why you came over here tonight." She said to herself.

He answered her thoughts. "You're my friend. I wanted to see you, remember?"

She lost it, more out of her own frustration at not being able to win the conversation rather than anger at him. "Than where have you been the past few months! Good friends don't just forget their friends when they get a job and a girlfriend."

"Communication works both ways, Emma." He bit at her.

"Yeah, but a person knows when they aren't wanted." Emma knew it was a weak response, but it was all she could come up with.

"Don't play the orphan card, Emma."

Emma took a step forward, grinding her teeth. She did not even know what they were arguing about. They could not see each other as much as they liked? Really that was worth a huge argument.

"I didn't."

"Emma, when are you going to admit what this is really about?"

She took a step back out of confusion, folding her arms against her chest. "Yeah, what is this about?" Her voice was calmer.

"You're jealous of my relationship with Milah. You feel replaced. Emma, I get that during your childhood-

"No!" She raised her voice. "You don't get to use my childhood against me." She quieted, in fear that someone might hear them. "I am not jealous. You came in here angry, not me."

""Well, to quote you Swan, you are the one withdrawing. Eventually, Emma, you have to stop running."

"Maybe running has kept me safe from people that will hurt me. People I thought I could trust." She smirked.

"I never gave you a reason to not trust me."

"How about dropping out of my life the minute you got a better deal? What, was I only a distraction during your college years until you could get something better?" It was a low blow, an unnecessary one, but it did the job.

It got him riled up. "Now, you know that's not true! I can't believe you would think so low of me."

"No lower than you think of me! Blaming everything on my childhood like I'm some broken toy. Accusing me of being jealous of you and Milah when I'm more like repulsed."

"Emma-"

"Get out."

"What?" For the first time, his voice was not anger, but confusion.

"You heard me. Get out. You do not get to just come in here and jump down my throat. You do not get to be mad that I am busy and do not spend every free second with you. You don't get to accuse me of being jealous because you know I am not. And more certainly, you do not get to attack my childhood. So what, I was foster kid. News flash, Killian, I know I am broken, I don't need you reiterating that fact to me."

"Emma, I-"

"Killian, I don't have the energy to keep fighting with you, okay. We've moved on. We are different people than last year. You have a new life and I am still here in college. Maybe we were always meant to fizzle out the minute you graduated. It's hard being friends when you go from seeing each other every day to seeing each other every few weeks. Maybe we should just accept it and move on. Clearly this isn't working, so why push it?"

"Emma, that's not what I want!" He fought, but she shook her head.

"You've made it pretty clear what you want. I have a scholarship to keep up Killian, I can't keep this up with you."

"So, what you are putting school before me?"

"I'm putting me first. And maybe you should too. We are too different now, Killian. We were great friends while we lasted, but people grow up and move on and never talk to their college friends again, okay? We were never meant to be more than college friends." She moved to the door, waiting for him to leave.

"Emma, you're running, you're-"

"I'm done. And after all the yelling you've done tonight, I know you are too."

He gritted his teeth. "I never said I was done-"

"You didn't have to."

He sighed. "If this is what you want-"

"We both know it's best."

He moved towards the door. "Have a nice life, Emma." He bit out to her and left.

She stood still. He was angry-he had a right to be. They had the equivalent of a friend break up. But why? Why was either of them so mad? Why did he come in, guns raised and why did she push him to fire? Why did she fire back?

Did they really just throw away their entire friendship because of scheduling conflicts?

Apparently.

But there was so much resentment. He clearly resented the fact that she always held him at arm's length, that she could never fully let him in. She hated the fact that he left her when he knew that no one in her life ever stayed. She hated that he got close to her and just left. But most of all, she hated the fact that she let him.

Maybe, since Killian's graduation and his beginning a relationship with Milah, her lost girl problems kicked in full throttle. She was terrified of being replaced and did what she always did. But he was the one who left. He had his life with Milah and his college degree and his job and made it quite clear that he no longer needed her.

It took several minutes for Emma to fully realize that she just let her best friend walk out of her life.

It took her several seconds after that to realize that she had pushed him away. There was something in her that made people leave. The problem was her.

Like it always was.

Emma nervously knocked at the door of Killian and Will's apartment, where Robin told her to meet him. Thoughts and memories flooded her head, along with every possible outcome that could play out in front of her during the next few moments. She had no idea what was going to happen next or how he would react.

Robin opened the door. "Emma, thanks for coming. I thought you might like to talk with him."

Emma gave a small nod of thanks to Robin and walked into the apartment, shutting the door behind her. She spotted Killian sitting at the kitchen table.

"I was going to grab dinner." Robin announced. "Give you guys a few minutes to talk." She knew what Robin meant, but she was thankful that he was at least willing to give them some privacy.

"That would be great, mate." Killian said. "I'm starved."

"Chinese sound good to you guys?" They both nodded and Robin grabbed his wallet and keys before leaving the apartment.

"Thank you." Killian said when the door shut. "You didn't have to help me. You could have easily gotten them to lie and say I was imagining some Emma girl or that you moved. But you helped me nonetheless."

Emma shuffled her feet, still standing close to the door. "You would have done the same."

"Aye, but that doesn't change the fact that you did it. It means a lot to me, Emma, that you did. And I want to thank you for that."

"You're welcome."

After a few moments of silence, Killian got to the elephant in the room. "I was a real jerk the last time we spoke. I mean, before the accident."

Emma moved to sit in one of the chairs across from Killian. "I'm not going to argue with you there."

He gave a small chuckle. "What were we even fighting about?"

"If I knew, I would tell you."

He sighed. "Emma, why did we stop talking?" He got right to the point.

"Honestly, I don't know." She told him. "We started fighting about how we were both so busy and then next thing I know I am kicking you out of my room and we stop talking."

"I'm sorry for everything I said." Emma could tell that his apology was genuine. "I was frustrated that you were never around anymore and I took it out on you."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for everything I said too. It was out of line."

"You weren't too out of line with Milah?" He laughed sadly.

"I always did have a way of reading people. I'm sorry about her though." Emma said, running a hand through her hair. "You didn't deserve that."

"I guess I always knew that things with Milah were not ideal. But I let myself believe that they could get better. That we could have a real future. That was all I wanted. I should have never accused you of being jealous, though."

Emma rested her elbow on the table, leaning closer to him. "I never was jealous. I don't think that was the word. If I'm honest, though, I felt replaced. My entire childhood people abandoned me when they found something better. I assumed you were doing the same. I guess you were right with bringing up all my issues."

He sat up straight in his chair. "Emma, I should never have used your past against you. You're not broken, love. Don't believe for a second that you are, even if I was a bloke and made you believe that."

"You were right, though," Emma continued. "I withdrew. It's what I do. I got scared I was going to lose you so I withdrew. Somehow in my mind that makes sense.

Before Killian could say anything else, she said, "I'm sick. Mentally, I mean. The doctor thinks it's depression. And I don't even know why I am telling you this because it's honestly not your business and I really don't like talking about it and I'm still not a public person, but I want you to know where I am coming from. Sometimes my head tells me to withdraw, that it's safer. And sometimes I just can't control it. I was so afraid that I was going to lose you or that I was going to get hurt that my head rationalized pushing you away and withdrawing was my safest route."

"But I didn't help you, Emma." He pushed. "I knew you had a fear of being abandoned and I started spending all of my time with Milah. I knew you didn't love my relationship with her and I didn't want you to be disappointed in me, so I thought if I just poured all of my energy into her, I would be happy."

"Were you?"

"No." He answered. "Emma, allow me to be honest for a moment. I had feelings for you for the majority of college, but seeing as they were unrequited, I had to do what was best for me. And I thought that was Milah. I thought I should stop pursuing something that would never happen and move forward with my life."

"I used to think you liked me." She gave a small laugh, remembering her emotions that came up when he announced he was with Milah. How she finally realized that he was more than a friend. "But I think that scared me. I was scared that I would lose you even quicker if it were true."

"So, you pushed me away?"

Emma sighed. "It's what I do." They sat in silence, her with an elbow on the table and him leaning back in his chair, hand on his neck and stump in his lap.

Finally, she said, "I think it was months, maybe years of issues that neither of us dealt with. And Milah was the catalyst. We both used the scheduling as an excuse to not see each other, but I don't think any of our issues were with each other. I know all of my problems were my own, not with you."

"Aye, lass. I agree."

"So, what do we do?" She asked the inevitable question. How did they move past this? They were very different people than they were, both stronger and more mature. Throughout everything, she knew she never was really mad at him. She was mad at herself that she pushed everyone away. That she withdrew and could not have real relationships because of her fear of getting hurt. But never once since their disagreement did she ever hate him.

The jingling of keys made both of their heads turn towards the door. Surely Robin was back with dinner. Will would be home from work within the hour and that was not the time to come up with some type of resolution to their issues.

"Later." He whispered.

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