Disclaimer: For the tenth time in this story, I don't own The Vampire Diaries

Chapter Ten- Hoping for the Best

As I ran out of Lexi's house, I had the distinct feeling that I wouldn't see that place again for some time. Newborn vampires could be a handful, and since Katherine was away, I had to take up the roll of babysitting them. I thought of the moment I fed Damon my blood, an act I did without much thinking, an instinct I chose to follow, which ended up being a decision I made for him. I never meant for anything like that to happen. I knew what it was like to have no choice in such an important matter, and so the few times I did think about turning those I fell in love with, I always gave them them the chance to choose, to have at least some control over their lives. I wished it had been like that with Damon. I was worried about Stefan as well, but his turning wasn't as much my fault as it was Katherine's. I knew I should have tried harder to keep her from messing with him, but I had enough guilt weighting on my mind as it was. I didn't need to take up someone else's.

When we started to approach Mystic Falls, I instructed Lexi to stay hidden. It wasn't safe to risk walking out in the open so soon after the conflict I had been in. Chances were that they weren't done surveying the town for any vampires they hadn't killed, and if that was the case, we would be easily identified.

The protected house laid just a few miles away from the city, on the opposite direction from the Veritas Estate. The smell of freshly cut grass and wet vegetation was the first indication we had that we were close to the Katherine's lair. She had always been careful to take care of any property she owned, and in that case I knew that it was Emily. She had been indebted to the vampire since Katherine had saved her life, and thus she tagged along to anywhere she went. The witch had been the one to spell that house so that it was safe from anyone who meant harm to its inhabitants.

As we crossed the magical barrier and entered the realm of safety, I realized just how much I would have to deal with in the days to come. I knew what it felt like when the world changed around you, when the way you perceived the world changed. I could still remember when all of that happened to me. It was exhilarating, but scary and confusing at the same time. Some people were drawn to it and saw it as a gift, while others wanted no part in it. I was in for a rough ride, and the two transitioning vampires were in for a even rougher one. If all went according to plan, they'd make it through.

I spotted the two brothers enjoying the sunny afternoon, a sullen look in their faces. I sighed, immediately knowing that they wouldn't want to turn. It wasn't my place to tell them what to choose, but I really wanted them to become vampires. Like with anything, being a creature of the night had its ups and downs, but I wanted to be with Damon for longer than I had the chance. If they didn't drink human blood by the following afternoon, they would die.

As I heard them talking, I hid in the house's roof, curious to know what they were chatting about.

- I don't want it, Stefan. - Damon told his brother - Not after what happened to Katherine and Julia. I would have accepted it if they were alive, but I don't want to live forever alone. I want someone to spend it with.

- I'd be there with you! - Stefan exclaimed - Don't you feel like the world is suddenly so much more beautiful, full of mystery?`

- No, Stefan! It seems cold and lonely. We don't belong here, brother. We're dead. They're dead.- Damon's voice changed from angry to sad and irritated as he finished the sentence.

- We don't know that. They may have escaped.

- No, Stefan. They are dead, I know it. - Damon assured, his voice grim and filled with sorrow.

Stefan nodded, lowering his head. I could only wonder what was going through their heads. I was all for having the choice, but choosing could be a cruel process. I wished there was something I could do to make it easier, but I knew that the only way I could help was to be there, to answer any questions they might have and just simply offer moral support.

- That's your choice, Damon? To die? - Stefan asked, his voice no more than a whisper.

- Yes. - His brother answered.

- Then I shall die with you.

With a sigh, I jumped out of the roof. I wished they would rethink their decision, though I was happy for them. Being a vampire wasn't easy, and if they didn't want to be one, I had no objections. But within a day's time, if they didn't feed, they would slowly and painfully die. I didn't know if I could just sit by and watch their lives fade away, but I knew I couldn't leave. I cared too much.

I walked over to the two brothers and sat beside Damon, wondering what their reaction would be. It took them a second to realize that someone else was there.

- Julia! - Damon exclaimed, his eyes widening in wonder. - You... you're dead!

- Yes and no. I died some centuries ago, yes, but not recently. - I replied, chuckling at them.

Damon didn't say another word. He was staring at me like that was going to be the last time he would have an opportunity. Stefan was quiet, but I could see that he wasn't as stunned as his brother. He was silently plotting something, and I had an idea of what.

- Stefan... I don't know what happened to Katherine. I'm sorry. - I told him.

I could see the hope that had sparkled in his eyes when he saw me wither away. I knew how important Katherine had been to him. She had a way of making everyone fall for her. Through the years I spent with her, I saw her seduce many men just by looking at them. It was a gift I had never been able to figure out. She used and abused of it, but not in one instance had I seen her use it with as much passion as she did with Stefan. I believed Katherine genuinely liked him.

As Damon came out of his trance, he offered me his hand and led me inside. I was trying to enjoy every moment of his company, but I couldn't. My thoughts kept drifting to the fact that, if I couldn't convince him to turn, he would be dead within a day. I hadn't been ready for that, for losing him and gaining him back just to watch him die one more time. I told myself that I would make it through, just like I had done other times, but I wasn't sure. People like Damon only came once in a lifetime, and for a vampire, that was a long, long time.

He brought me closer and our lips crashed. I couldn't believe what was happening, the wonder of the moment. It was like time stopped just for us, just so we could enjoy each other's company. As the kiss deepened, I allowed myself to forget all what had happened on the previous day. Lexi, Damon and Stefan's deaths, Katherine's capture, it all faded for a second, giving me the opportunity to throughly enjoy the kiss, our first kiss and possibly our last.

- I missed you. - He whispered in my ear as we broke apart.

- Me too. - I answered.

He took a step back and I knew what he was readying himself to say. I didn't know if I wanted to hear it, but I knew I had to. My being alive could change a lot, and there was a slim chance that he had reconsidered, that he wasn't so sure about letting himself die. Though I didn't want to get my hopes up, I could feel a part of me lighting up with the thought that maybe, just maybe, he might live to see another night.

- I'm... I'm not sure I can turn. - Damon said, the confusion and doubt he was going through clear in his voice. He grabbed my hands and continued - I know you want me to, but I'm just not sure I can go through with it.

I nodded, swallowing the tears that threatened to run down my face. That decision was his make, and I refused to let my personal feelings interfere. If he was to turn, I wanted his change of heart to come from his own emotions and facts. I had already changed too much. Both Stefan and Damon could have lived normal, human lives, had kids, jobs and eventually die. But they would have to either die that day or live indefinitely, never being able to settle down with a family. I liked being a vampire, but I couldn't deny that it had its downsides.

- I can't let Stefan die alone. - He complemented. - I'd go for it, Julia, but I can't let my little brother die by himself.

I was stunned by his sudden revelation. I had never thought about that. Cursing myself mentally for being so self-centered, I allowed my gaze to drift from Damon to Stefan. Even from that distance, I could see how lost he was. He looked like someone who had loved and lost. I supposed the only way he would ever agree to change was if Katherine was alive. Though I was almost sure she hadn't died, I knew of no way to find her. When she didn't want to be found, it was almost impossible to find her.

Damon unlinked his hands from mine and made his way to his brother. During my short stay in the Veritas Estate, I had only seen Damon and Stefan together once, so I hadn't paid much attention to their relationship. I hadn't expected them to be so close, but I could see that they would trust each other with their lives. I stood there, watching as Damon comforted his brother and told him he was not alone, that he would die with him. I was so entranced by the scene that I didn't even listen as someone entered the room.

- He won't do it, will he? - I heard Lexi asking me.

- No. He wants to die with his brother.

I turned around and made my way to a set of chairs that had a direct view to the outside. Lexi joined me as I stared at the outside world, no longer paying attention to the Salvatore's conversation. I wanted to get my mind off all what had happened like I had when I kissed Damon, I wanted to rewind time so that I never even met them. Losing Damon was too much for me.

- I tried to warn you. - Lexi said, as if she could read my thoughts - The deer.

- That was you? What were doing in Mystic Falls? - I asked her.

- News travel fast. I heard that you were back in America, staying in Mystic Falls, and I decided to pay you a visit. Then I overheard Giuseppe talking about killing vampires, so I tried to warn you. - She explained.

- Why didn't you talk to me? I was freaking out with the whole mysterious deer thing! - I scolded her, almost laughing.

- I suppose I just didn't want to talk to you. I was still a bit angry. - Concluded Lexi.

I sighed and turned my attention back to the boys talking outside. They were still enjoying the last few rays of the afternoon sun and chatting. I wished I could join them, but I knew I would be an intruder. Taking one last glance at the brothers, a glance I knew might be the last, I exited the kitchen and made my way to my room, trying to clear my head of all thoughts related to Damon. It had been a long day and, even though I had taken a nap, I was feeling really tired. I knew, though, that it would take me some time to fall asleep. But as I put on my nightgown, my eyelids started to feel heavy. Glad that I wouldn't have to toss and turn as I tried to sleep, I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. My last thought before entering the realm of dreams was that I didn't think I was going to be able to get up the next morning, not knowing whether Stefan and Damon were still alive.