Chapter 10

Rhythmically Hawke tapped with her fingers on Fenris's table. She had somewhat recovered from the shock of Varric's news. Or better, she had forced herself to have another try at drinking coffee in an ultimate attempt to keep her wits together. After her first impulse, she had changed her mind; drinking coffee and rearranging her thoughts would surely be better than storming out of the door at a whim. She needed to think. Remorsefully she had apologized to Fenris about burning his hand and making a mess by dropping the mug he so thoughtfully had brought her, but he had brushed it aside. He had gone downstairs to make her a new cup since the first one was mostly spilled over him and on the floor.

'How did you know I was here?' Hawke asked in the meantime, after she and Varric had sat down at the table.

'You weren't at the Hanged Man or at your uncle's excuse for a house, and it wouldn't have been the first time you crashed in here,' Varric smirked.

'We got attacked last night,' she more or less explained.

'What? They kidnapped your brother and attacked you? That Seeker fellow doesn't like half work.'

Hawke grinned half-heartedly. 'No, this was an average every day attack as in They Never Learn. Only there were quite a lot of them, so I was forced to use magic.'

Varric whistled lowly. 'I bet the elf didn't take that very well.'

Hawke shrugged. 'It might have been worse. But shortly after that, we almost stumbled into a Templar patrol. And when we got away with a narrow escape, Fenris deemed it safer I'd spend the night at his place. And before you get funny ideas, no, nothing happened.' Alas.

'The thought never crossed my mind,' Varric lied. He stared at her for a short while and then said: 'You know Hawke, life with you around is never dull.'

Marian laughed. 'We did have a lot of excitement of late, didn't we? A little less would be welcome, to be honest.'

Fenris re-entered with fresh coffee and a bottle of wine for Varric, since he had a cellar full of wine but not a drop of ale in his whole mansion. He had reasoned, though, that at this moment the dwarf would even have settled with the pirate wench's foul rum.

'Lest I forget,' Varric now said, 'before being taken by the Seekers, Carver managed to talk your mother into taking refuge in the Hanged Man. She went kicking and screaming but at least she's there now.'

'My mother!' Hawke shrieked in terror. 'Does she know –'

'No no no!'Vehemently the dwarf fluttered his hands to reassure her. 'She doesn't know anything about little Hawke-cock's predicament yet, no need to panic.' Hawke breathed relieved. The dwarf continued, rather sourly, 'Till now she has mostly busied herself with harassing Corff about the state of her room, and scolding the barmaids for barter away their virtue by working in such a abominable place.'

Fenris just managed to suppress a grin about Varric's term for Hawke's brother. He thought it very striking.

'Yes, that's my Mum,' Hawke sighed.

She took a sip from her coffee. She stared maliciously at the note that lay before her on the table, as if it had bitten her, reread the blasted thing and started to spin it around on the wooden surface with a finger. All sorts of thoughts went through her mind. Varric knew that expression all too well.

'I'm not sure if trying to find and free your brother is such a good idea,' he said, carefully. 'You may run out of time.'

Hawke flashed him a short smile. 'I'm well aware of that. Besides that, the thought of Carver causing all sorts of trouble is very attractive. He too is a Hawke after all, or perhaps "an Amell" is more appropriate. He will no doubt give his abductors a damn hard time. And he is, of course, our ticket to the Seeker. I want answers. Nevertheless it won't hurt to do a little investigation. Knowing his whereabouts will give us an advantage. We don't have to free him immediately, just post some men at the place. Out of sight of course.'

O Andraste's burning bosom, don't go there Hawke, Varric thought, but instead he said, 'Don't you think they will keep him close at hand? Like in the same place where you are supposed to meet the Seeker? Seems logical to me.'

But she didn't hear him; another thought had bubbled up. 'And the note warned us not to involve the City Guard but it said nothing about the Red Iron; we can always threaten with their power. Or not to ignore influence' She frowned pensively. 'We can put them into action anyhow, let them search out all the good hide-out places, keep them at hand as a makeshift army.'

'And you think they will listen to you,' Varric said, sceptically.

Marian smiled smugly. 'I don't see why not. Their boss is dead, there is a vacuum of power. They will obey the first one who barks orders at them and I can be very good at barking orders if I put my back into it.'

Varric almost choked on the wine he had accepted as a surrogate for his morning ale. He hadn't had the opportunity for even one sip, before the message was stuffed into his hands and he had rushed off to tell Hawke the bad news, but this was better than nothing. 'You're not really thinking about becoming Meeran's successor?' he coughed alarmed.

'It could be very profitable,' Hawke put forward with her most neutral face. She started to laugh when she saw the dwarf's startled expression. 'Of course not! Although it would be worth it, just to see Aveline's reaction. And wipe off your chin, the wine is dripping into your precious chest hair.'

'The scary thing is that I'm not convinced you wouldn't do it,' Varric grumbled, industriously cleaning his chest.

'Frankly, I hardly see the difference between being the head of the Red Iron and the head of the Merchants Guild.'

'The big difference is that you don't get arrested for being the head of the Merchants Guild,' Varric contradicted.

'As far as I know, Meeran has never been arrested. But we digress.' She sighed. 'On second thought, perhaps it isn't a good idea to involve the Red Iron; they're apt to make a complete mess of it. After all they're just a bunch of brainless mercenaries; they would only cause a lot of trouble. But we could do some asking around ourselves. Starting with the last place Carver has been. I take it he didn't show up at the Hanged Man?'

'Haven't seen him all night.'

'The Blooming Rose,' Fenris suggested.

'Ah, yes. Why didn't I think of that myself, the most obvious place,' Hawke grinned. 'Let's head there now.' She pushed back her chair.

'Hawke,' Fenris said tentatively, 'I don't want to put any pressure on you, but don't you think it is unwise to let that Seeker wait for too long? For some reason he doesn't strike me as the patient type. He might do some unpleasant things to your brother if he gets the impression you thwart him.'

'I'm touched by your concern,' Hawke said, while she rose. 'But I'm pretty sure Carver is safe. I said he is our ticket to the Seeker but it is also the other way around. He would be very stupid to let any harm come to my brother if he wants to meet me.' She shoved the chair under the table and added, 'I'm positive this situation is more dangerous for me than for him.' She leaned her hands on the back of the chair and looked almost challenging at the elf and the dwarf. 'Not that the man scares me that much. He doesn't even know how to avoid a protective marbari or to set a proper trap.'

'Don't make the mistake of underestimating that Seeker, Hawke,' Fenris warned her. 'He had Meeran killed just to cover his tracks, he now has kidnapped your brother –'

'That's not a big feat,' Hawke huffed. 'Even Merrill would have succeeded in knocking him flat out while he staggered out of the Rose, drunk as a sailor who tried to make up for a two months lack of rum.'

'Listen to me Hawke,' Fenris insisted, a little irritably. 'You must acknowledge he is dangerous. I'm not letting you face him alone,' he ended determined. Flashes of what could happen to her returned and disturbed him even more. She might be tough and might have made it hot for Meeran in such a way that the mercenary had turned into a puddle of outright fear, cold sweat and warm piss (if he could at least believe Varric's colourful version of what occurred); threatening the boss of the Red Iron was something far different from facing a Seeker. But when Hawke looked at him he saw suddenly a shard of sorrow and concern in her eyes that her little smile couldn't cover. He realized she didn't feel half as cheerful and confident as she wanted to make believe him and Varric she did. He also stood up.

'Hawke, you don't have to act as if you aren't worried at all. I understand, and I'm certain Varric does too.' He stretched out his hand to her and after some hesitation she took it. He squeezed hers reassuringly and quickly let go again. In the back of his head a voice mockingly remarked that by now the boundary of no touch had been trespassed so many times, mostly by himself, that it could be considered as nonexistent. If he weren't careful, he would soon start to fondle her and end up ... 'I know you are strong, you don't have to prove that,' he stated gritty, trying to drown the irksome voice. 'Don't pretend this doesn't affect you greatly.'

Hawke looked down at her hands. 'I hate it not being able to do something, that I'm forced to sit idle, that I have to dance to the tune of that, that –' She let out a frustrated growl and clenched her fists. She swallowed hard. 'I made a pledge to myself to keep them all save,' she said in a small voice. 'And now I failed twice.' Images of a crushed Bethany entered her mind. Again. The thought something should happen to her brother was unbearable.

'You didn't fail at all; how were you supposed to protect Junior when he is never around?' Varric countered. 'Don't forget he is a big boy and you don't have to babysit him any longer, as if he would be grateful for that anyway. Besides, you still can rush in and safe the day. I do, however, recommend we drum up all of our companions just to be on the safe side. That one red-cloaked person could turn out to be another trap. And by the way, Hawke, I agree with the elf. You don't have to keep up an appearance. Showing some anxiety would make you more human and – approachable.'

Hawke smiled mirthlessly. 'It would indeed be so much better if I burst out in tears and whined about my misfortune. Woe is me! My poor brother has been taken by bad, bad men –'

'Stop that Hawke,' Fenris sternly interrupted her. 'It doesn't suit you.'

She sagged. 'Oh bloody hell,' she grunted, 'you are right, I am tense.'

'Like I said, I won't let you face him alone.'

'I doubt if you'll be given that chance.'

'Watch me,' Fenris said grimly.

Hawke opened her mouth to shout something about being stupidly stubborn but closed it at the same time in a flash of self contemplation. Instead she turned to Varric. 'And yes, I agree this could be another trap, I don't trust anything coming from that son of a bitch anymore.' She cocked her head when a thought hit her. 'What if he hasn't abducted Carver at all? What if it's just a new trick to lure me in?'

Varric groaned inwardly. 'Don't go off, Hawke, I think it's best to assume Junior is in his claws and act like it.'

Fenris started to move his hand in her direction again but changed his mind if only to stop that damned droning voice in his head. 'Hawke,' he said softly, 'you can stomp your feet, scream you voice hoarse, come up with the most idiotic plans and outrageous theories, but it's best to accept the circumstances as they are. There is nothing you can do but to meet that Seeker.'

She clenched her jaw but then looked at him, the faintest of smiles on her lips. When she met his understanding silvery green eyes it was all she could do not to flee into his arms.

'It's – difficult not to have the situation in your own hands,' she whispered.

He held her gaze. 'I know.'

She started, angry with herself.

Of course he knows, you bloody dim-witted ass, he hasn't been able to hold his situation in his own hands for almost all his life.

Finally she calmed down and regained her composure. 'Let's proceed with Varric's plan then.'

The dwarf had let his eyes wander from Hawke to the elf and back, wondering once again what had happened before he had woke up Hawke, finding her lying in Fenris's bed and the elf standing next to her, holding a mug of coffee. Had they really ... he abandoned his thoughts. Other things were more important now, but he decided to keep a close eye on them. His epic love-story needed fodder after all.

'I will go and collect Rivaini and Daisy,' he said, 'and Blondie.' He remembered Fenris's dislike of the healer, to put it mildly. The elf wouldn't be pleased to go to the clinic for any kind of reason. 'You two run to the Keep to fetch Aveline. We will meet each other at the entrance of the Docks.'

'Let's go do that,' Hawke said with a determined look on her face. 'Let's seek out a Seeker.'

'Ouch,' Varric whimpered, 'please try not to joke while you're in this state of mind.'

She shot him a deadly look while she marched out of the room.

Hawke, Fenris and Aveline stood at the steps leading down to the Docks, waiting for the others to arrive. Fenris lounged against a wall with an air of complete serenity. Hawke recognised that as the posture of a warrior just before going into battle, recoiling into himself, concentrating, mediating even. Apparently he took his self imposed task to protect her very seriously. He looked more handsome than ever, with the morning sun caressing his moonlike hair, two heavenly bodies meeting one another. An exquisite elven one in this case. The exposed toned arm muscles seemed to glisten in the sunrays and Hawke suddenly remembered Isabela's question if Fenris's former master used to oil him up. She had wanted to strangle the pirate queen back then and this moment she would definitely do it as yet if she'd repeat the remark. She took in a sharp breath. Why? Why would she be jealous? She had pledged not to fall in love, so why be bothered by a flirtatious banter between Fenris and Isabela? Yes, she had been highly agitated by feeling his body so close to hers when he was trying – successfully – to ward off the Templars. And yes, she felt his almost magnetic attraction. When he had stated he would not let her face the Seeker alone, she had felt a warm feeling flowing through her body. But besides all that she ... Bloody hell. She had fallen in love with him. Damn it. What a moment to find out.

She got distracted by Aveline shoving her shoulder.

'There they are.' Aveline pointed at the group approaching them. Hawke had to admit the Guard Captain had immediately backed her when she had told her what had transpired. She had let everything fall out of her hands to follow her, even had gone as far as donning her old armour to avoid looking like a guardswoman.

The first one to approach her was Anders. He embraced her hard and whispered into her ear, 'I'm so sorry Hawke. This is again an attack on mages. A very cowardly one. But know that I'm with you.'

She wanted to slap him. Her brother was at the mercy of a Seeker because of her weird use of magic and Anders managed to turn it into his cherished plight of mages he couldn't stop rambling about. She tried to move away from him and over his shoulder she caught the hateful glance of Fenris. Was that because of Anders himself or the fact he was holding her? She wriggled out of Anders's hug and reluctantly he let her go.

'This is a personal matter, Anders,' she said crossly. 'It has nothing to do with your hobby.'

The mage looked hurt, but before he could react, Isabela, who had been scouting the entrance of the docks, returned. 'There stands indeed a figure wrapped in a red cloak opposite the Qunari compound. As far as I could see he is alone, no big bad guys lingering in the shadows. Shall we?'

'What if we take him captive and –' Hawke began but was immediately cut short by Varric.

'We go down there, madam, and you address the red cloak. Properly. Now move it.'

With a deep sigh Marian started to descend the stairs.

The moment she approached the mysterious cloaked figure, he pushed back his hood. Hawke stood agape for a few precious moment.

'Alright, now I'm really tired of all the lies and deceptions. I was supposed to meet a man and you turn out to be a woman. What's next? Exploding bombs? An army pouncing upon us? The Divine herself to drag me away to Val Royeaux?' She was overreacting, she knew it, but this new twist was playing on her already raging nerves.

The elderly woman in front of her heaved her hand to silence her. She looked severe but had friendly eyes.

'I was already told you're somewhat of a spitfire, Serah Hawke,' she said with a soft warm voice.

Marian bristled. 'Well excuse me, but I've been having a rather stressful time. Where is my brother?'

'All in good time, Serah Hawke. You were indeed supposed to meet a man, but after all that has occurred already, I thought it wiser to collect you myself.'

'I know you,' Anders suddenly piped up, with a high pitched voice as if he couldn't believe his eyes or trust his own words. 'I met you in Amaranthine in the company of the Hero of Ferelden. You, you are Wynne.'

The woman let her eyes rest on him for a moment. 'Anders, isn't it? Yes, I remember you.'

'But you are a mage! How can you cooperate with the Seekers?!' His voice caught with agitation.

Fenris frowned. They were on their way to meet a Seeker and yet stumbled upon another mage. He didn't seem being able to avoid them.

'Like I said, all in good time. Now, if you will be so good as to follow me ..?'

Wynne headed for the eastern part of the docks. She set a fast tempo and they had to hurry to keep up with her.

'If she is a mage, than everything is alright, isn't it?' Hawke heard Merrill chime somewhere behind her back. 'I mean she won't let the Seekers do any harm to Hawke or Carver, won't she? She looks nice.' She sounded nervous but then again, she always did.

'Daisy, don't worry. Whatever the case, Hawke will find a way out,' Varric's baritone retorted slightly panting. Hawke considered that the dwarf had to run twice as fast as the rest of them. Or scurry as Isabela had put it. If they would make it out alive of this tricky situation, he would without doubt add a glorious chapter to her already exaggerated story. She grimaced.

Wynne halted at a warehouse with the Orlesian merchant's guild emblem above the door. She looked around her before she opened it and ushered them in. Inside, in a compact room stuffed with crates, about a dozen soldiers stood guard and one of them blocked their way to the next door.

'Only the mage and Hawke are allowed,' he said.

Fenris took a step forward so he was level with Marian.

'I am Hawke's bodyguard and I'm not leaving her side,' he announced in a gravely and menacing voice and he let his markings flare for a few moments. Wide-eyed the guard shrank back.

'Show-off,' Anders murmured.

With some difficulties Hawke managed to keep a straight face. Her bodyguard? Hmm, that term was open for all sorts of interpretations. Before her thoughts could carry her to dangerous waters, Wynne's voice broke in.

'It's alright, captain,' the strange mage said, 'let him pass.'

The guard seemed not very pleased but nevertheless opened the door for them. 'The others stay here,' he growled.

Wynne led them through a wide space and over a staircase to a room that was sparsely furnished. It held only a desk and some simple wooden stools. Hawke noticed that the only window had a lovely view on the Gallows. How appropriate. The room also held four burly sentries and a tall man clad in a dark cloak. His age was hard to guess, probably somewhere between forty and fifty. His almost black coloured eyes were cold and unfathomable. He stared intensely at Hawke as if he wanted to pull the thoughts out of her head but she refused to be intimidated.

'Take a seat,' he said, waving at the stools. His voice was as dark as his eyes, vibrating with authority.

'No thank you, I prefer to stand,' Hawke coldly replied. The man was already much taller than she was, no need to worsen that disadvantage.

'Very well. If you don't mind I skip the pleasantries and come right to the point.' And here we'll have it. 'What do you know about your father?'

Hawke had steeled herself against a harsh interrogation about her unique way of wielding magic, worked up all her mental strength to withstand any kind of method that would be used against her and now this? She deflated.

'My father ...?'

'Yes, are you deaf? I want information about him.'

And now anger began to make her blood boil.

'You started a bloody massacre and abducted my brother to obtain information about my father? You never considered the option to, oh I don't know, simply knock at my door or pay a visit at the Hanged Man? We could have discussed the topic in all peace and quiet over a cup of tea or a pint of ale.'

'It's not that simple.'

'I truly hope so,' Hawke sneered viciously. 'I'm dying for an explanation and you seem to be extremely good at letting people die.'

'I thought you were the one with that talent,' Fenris murmured behind her; he simply couldn't help himself. The only one who heard him was Hawke and she pretended she hadn't.

'We couldn't just approach you openly. Everything about your father is highly classified; we needed stealth.'

Hawke burst out laughing. 'Stealth indeed.' Her voice dripped with sarcasm. 'I would call a mansion full of corpses a classic example of stealth. You had the whole City Guard in an uproar!'

'I must admit that went not exactly as planned.'

'You don't say! And what about leaving the murdered head of a criminal organisation at the doorstep of the best known brothel in Kirkwall? Brilliant, that one. Got the Guard even more alert. Stealth!' she snorted.

The Seeker momentarily seemed at a loss for words. He was visibly confused by her ferocious reaction. Wynne moved over to him and lightly put a hand on his arm.

'Perhaps it's best that I take it from here,' she said calmly. He just nodded.

Fenris mused that the man in his career as a Seeker undoubtedly never had stumbled upon a grilling victim that shouted back in the way Hawke did. It was a bit like a feeble looking kitten that suddenly decided to disembowel the dog that chased it.

'Let's start over,' Wynne said, amiably. 'I agree pleasantries aren't necessary but an introduction would be appropriate. As you know by now my name is Wynne. I'm the First Enchanter of the Circle in Ferelden and an adviser of the Royal Counsel in Denerim. This gentleman is named Berran, a Seeker as you have probably already guessed, and Head of the Special Assignment section in Val Royeaux. We are here to gather all information possible about Malcolm Hawke.'

'Alright, bite me,' Marian said, totally worked up. 'What is so damn important about my father that you had to leave a trail of dead people through the whole of Kirkwall?'

Berran, as the Seeker's name apparently was, grunted something under his breath. 'You were a lot harder to catch than we had thought beforehand,' he continued louder.

'Catch me? Is that what you call the attempted assaults on my life?' Hawke scorned heatedly, 'Not to mention the danger you put my friends into!'

'They weren't assaults on your life,' the Seeker growled darkly. 'We were trying to take you captive in a peaceful way.'

That kindled her fury even more. 'And you thought that luring me into an empty mansion and sending a few dozen thugs or mercenaries, or whatever they were, on me would convince me of your diplomatic purposes?! And what about that woman that tried to break into my house and was only stopped by the alert reaction of my marbari? She committed suicide, fuck you. Was I to understand she just had the intention to ask me friendly to come with her to answer some questions about my father? By the way, did you know you used the house of a necromancer? Not very fitting for a Seeker I would say. You have messed up big time. I suggest you hand over my brother right now. We will walk out of here without being hindered by your guards, and you can send me a humble invitation to meet each other elsewhere. And if you insist on stealth, I recommend a nice secluded spot at the Wounded Coast or on Sundermount. I will even provide for the picnic basket.' Her eyes spat fire at this moment.

The kitten has turned into a lioness, Fenris thought. He had to admit he admired her greatly at this moment. She had been wound up, consumed by feelings of guilt, he assumed. He had sensed, at the moment she had hesitated to tell how her father had met his death, that she was hiding something. Something that had made her force to promise herself to protect the rest of her family members. And during their flight out of Ferelden she had lost her sister. He considered that must have been quite a blow; she had mentioned it almost airily but he had seen the hurt, almost desperate expression in her eyes. And now her brother was in danger. He realized that her anger was mostly aimed at that fact, or better at the failure to keep him out of that very danger. She would risk everything to save him, even her own life. He now more than ever regretted he knew nothing about the family he must have had. Would he have done the same? He couldn't tell. She didn't even know about that fact. He snorted inwardly and tried to pull himself together. He only succeeded partly. Perhaps it was time he'd tell her about his loss of memory.

He ripped himself out of his contemplations and forced himself to focus on what was going on. Immediately he felt annoyed. Some kind of bodyguard he was, to let slip away his attention. He looked at her back, desperately wanting to give her some kind of support, to let her know he was standing behind her in every sense possible. Why, why was he so badly trying to get on her good side, even pretending to be her bodyguard, to stay with her and save her from harm? And while he was at it, why had he gone back to the kitchen previous this morning to make her another cup of coffee, like some kind of servant – slave? Venhedis!

I'm not falling in love with her, I won't allow it. I don't even know how. I don't want to. Don't mess up the mess. Keep your distance, keep her at bay. He suppressed the rising panic and forced himself to concentrate on the task he had imposed on himself. Hold on to that. He returned his mind to the angry dialogue between Hawke and Berran. That seemed more safe.

'The woman trying to get into your house was a new recruit, very dedicated. She knew what was at stake, if things would go wrong she'd take the pill with poison.' Berran's voice boomed through the room.

'Antivan Crow's venom,' Hawke hissed, 'deadly at an instance. Why did she take it? She could just have fled.'

'She couldn't, she failed, and that's the Seekers way. You wouldn't understand.'

'Try me,' Hawke said defiantly.

'Enough of this,' Wynne sternly intervened. 'That's not why we are here.' She hadn't raised her voice but nevertheless the two brawlers fell silent. And then she dropped the bomb. 'Serah Hawke, are you aware your father was a mage from Tevinter?'

Despite his own shock Fenris reacted in a split-second and caught her halfway her staggered fall.