Terms to Know

The Origin: The souls home planet. They started there, and expanded out. Most souls try to stay on the Origin; it is uncommon to meet a soul who has lived on the Origin, making them almost a celebrity.

Heart and Soul — IX

It didn't take Ichigo long to figure out that Nanao was not made for running. She stumbled and tripped a lot, and her breathing became labored within the first few miles of their long run.

"If you're tired now…you're going to…drop dead by the time we make it to my car." He informed her, skidding to a halt. He slipped the bag of supplies off his back, looping it around his arm. "Climb on."

Nanao blinked, staring at him in a bewildered way. "…Sorry?"

Ichigo sighed and jerked his thumb at his back. "If it gets us to the car faster, I'll carry you. You don't look like you weigh much, I'm sure I could do it."

"Won't that slow you down more?" Nanao asked. In the dim moonlight, Ichigo saw her pale cheeks redden slightly.

"Look, if we keep going at your pace, they'll catch us. You said it yourself, Kyoraku's a light sleeper. Who knows when they'll notice we're gone? The farther away we are when that happens, the better. Now. Climb on."

Nanao bit her lip before hesitantly walking over to him. He crouched down slightly and held his hands behind him, cupping them to give her a step up. "Are you…sure about this?"

"Yeah, 'course. I carry Rukia all the time. You can't be much heavier than her, you're bone thin."

Nanao sighed faintly, then climbed gingerly onto Ichigo's back. He barely noticed the difference, wondering vaguely if it was bad that a grown woman was the same weight as a teenager. "You're not going to break me you know. Just put your arms around my neck — loosely, if you'd be so kind. It'll be fine, don't worry about it."

Ichigo waited until Nanao was securely in place before taking off again. He ran silently, his breathing falling into an easy rhythm. He more or less forgot Nanao was on his back until she spoke again, much, much later.

"How much further?"

Ichigo looked around. The trees were starting to look familiar. "Not too far now. In fact I think I see my cabin up ahead…yup, that's it. The car's a few miles west from there."

It was relief to find that the car had gone undiscovered. He pulled the blanket of moss off of it, grinning. Nanao slid off his back, looking up at the sky. During their run it had become a slightly lighter shade of blue.

"We'd better be on the road before the sun completely rises."

"Right. Let's get moving."

"What were they thinking?!" Renji shouted, his voice echoing off the cave walls. Isane tried in vain to shut him up. "If they get caught we're all screwed!"

Hinamori had a hand on Hitsugaya's shoulder; the boy looked ready to kill somebody. "I'm sure it's too late to go after them." Hinamori spoke quietly. "They probably left after we were all asleep. They've too large of a head-start on us."

Shunsui was angry enough that words were actually failing him. He knew better than to think that running off had been Ichigo's idea — not if Nanao was with him. If he'd taken off, he wouldn't have taken anyone else along for the ride.

"Nanao's heart is in the right place." Matsumoto said quietly. "Even if she's going about it all wrong, she just wants to help."

"Yeah, it's going to be a huge help when they're caught and we're found." Sentarou said sarcastically. "I'm sure those worms would just love to cure Rukia-san — then stick one of their own in her head!"

"What's going on?" A new, softer voice demanded. Renji whirled around; Rukia was standing in the entrance of their small kitchen (currently their meeting room), leaning slightly against the rock frame. The fire in her eyes contradicted her pale skin. "Where's Ichigo?" She added as soon as she saw that he wasn't there.

"What are you doing?" Renji asked, walking over to her, trying to side-step her questions. "You should be in bed—"

She jerked away from him as he reached out to her. He grabbed her elbow as she stumbled backwards, holding her steady. Isane jumped up and ran over, protesting. "Rukia-san you should be resting—"

"I'm fine." She insisted as Isane and Renji led her to a chair and pushed her down. "Now where's Ichigo?"

Everyone exchanged looks, obviously not wanting to answer. Rukia scowled, not liking that. "Well?"

"We're…not sure." Ukitake admitted finally. "We have a very good guess…chances are he went to look for medicine…he wanted to yesterday, but Shunsui and I stopped him… we figure he left some time last night."

Rukia didn't bother disguising the despair that filled her. "He…left?" She managed to choke out, her voice hoarse. Renji rested a hand on her shoulder.

"He didn't like the idea of just sitting around. Unfortunately it looks like he's the kind of guy that takes action the minute he thinks of it."

Rukia already knew that. It didn't make her feel any better though. He was out there risking his life…for what?

Renji sighed, watching Rukia's face go paler still. He hadn't known that was even possible. "C'mon Rukia-san." Isane said quietly, reaching a hand out for the younger girl. "Let's get you back to bed, you really need to rest…"

Renji watched Isane lead Rukia away. He wondered vaguely if she realized just how dependent she was on Ichigo. He had a feeling the answer was no.

"Do you want me to—"

"No."

Nanao sighed and went back to staring out the window. They were traveling down the mostly empty highway, going just below the speed limit — apparently souls didn't speed. That fact highly annoyed Ichigo. But then, everything annoyed Ichigo then, sleep deprived as he was. Nanao had fallen asleep before they'd cleared town. She'd offered to take over driving when she'd woken up, but Ichigo had refused. It was nearly mid-day now.

"How much further do you think we should go?" He asked, his voice mechanical. Nanao thought for a moment.

"It depends I guess. How far are you willing to push it and how soon do you want to get back?"

"By tomorrow morning the latest."

They passed an information sign. The next town was five miles away. "Fair enough. We can look there first. We'd better be prepared though — it looks like a smaller town, they might not have a hospital or a clinic."

"Well we'll see, won't we?"

Nanao eyed Ichigo, worried. "Maybe you should let me drive back…you really need to sleep."

"I'm fine Nanao. Stop bothering me."

Nanao winced and turned away from him. "Sorry." She murmured, tilting her head to stare at the car-door handle. Ichigo instantly felt bad.

"No…I'm sorry. Really. I know Shunsui's going to give you seriously hell for this when we get back—" Nanao grimaced, "I should be grateful that you're taking this risk. I am grateful. I owe you big time."

"No you don't." She whispered, still staring determinedly at the door. "This is…my fault anyway. Might as well do something to make up for it."

Maybe it was the fact that his brain was foggy, but Ichigo couldn't quite follow her logic. "Sorry…exactly how is this your fault?"

"My fault…our fault." She shrugged. "We souls had no right to take your planet. If it wasn't for us being here, none of this would be happening right now. I'm sorry I can't make us disappear. But I'll do what I can to help."

Ichigo squinted through the windshield. "I don't know…I'm actually kind of glad you came here." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nanao turn to look at him, her expression clearly questioning his sanity. "Seriously. If it wasn't for you guys coming…I never would have met Rukia, you know? And meeting her was the best thing that ever happened to me. So…I guess I'm almost grateful for your being here."

Nanao smiled faintly before turning to look out the window again. "Do you realize just how in love you are?"

Ichigo groaned. Of course she would jump to that conclusion. "Whatever you say Nanao. It's not worth arguing about."

They pulled off the highway, into the town. Ichigo drove slowly, his eyes scanning the streets for a sign or something that would point him to a hospital or clinic…or something.

"There!" Nanao said suddenly. They'd passed a sign he couldn't read, because it was on her side. "Take the next right."

Ichigo did as he was told, suddenly nervous. "Maybe…" He started to say, then stopped, not wanting to sound like a coward.

"We should wait for dark before we do anything." Nanao picked up on his train of thought. They passed the small hospital slowly. As luck would have it, there were woods right behind the building.

"Perfect." Ichigo hissed as they drove past the hospital. They went a little further, only to find that it was a dead-end street. Ichigo put the car in park and thought quickly.

"Okay. Nanao, take the car back down the street and find a place to park it. I'll hide out down here. As soon as the car's taken care of head back here. We'll go down towards the hospital on foot."

As he spoke, he reached into the back, emptying the bag of all it's contents and shoving them under the seat so nobody would notice. Not that it mattered, considering the windows were tinted. He wasn't taking that chance though.

"All right." Ichigo climbed out of the car, throwing the empty pack over his shoulder. Nanao slid into the driver's seat, throwing the car back into drive.

"Be careful." He warned her before shutting the door and loping off towards the woods. It felt wrong, being out during the day like this. Even if he was alone. He was happier once he was crouched behind the trees, his eyes on the road. He expected Nanao to come back that way. So it was a surprise when a hand rested itself on his shoulder. He jumped, his mind flying through the different things around him that he could use as a weapon…

It was Nanao. She touched her finger lightly to her lips, warning him to be quiet, then beckoned for him to follow her.

"Where'd you come from?" He asked after they'd walked in silence for a few minutes.

"I cut back behind the hospital — don't worry, nobody saw me. The entire back had no windows, it was easy."

"All right." Ichigo sighed. "Hey…Nanao?"

"Yes?"

"Seriously…thanks for this. I'm going to owe you for the rest of eternity."

He could tell she was smiling when she answered. "It's really no big deal Kurosaki-kun. I'm just doing what I'm meant to do."

It didn't take them long to reach the hospital. They had a clear-view of the small docking bay. It was wide open, but there were people around it; a delivery. Ichigo looked up at the sky. They had a long day ahead of them.

"So will you tell me?" He asked after a minute of silence. Nanao looked over at Ichigo, obviously confused. No wonder.

"Tell you…what?"

"Tell me what you plan to do if you ever…find Nanao." Her face crumpled. She looked away from him, obviously pained.

"I…really shouldn't. Shunsui made me promise we'd keep it between us…it would make the others unhappy."

Ichigo sighed. "Look, I know it's none of my business. I'm really just curious. But if you don't want to tell…"

The silence dragged on. Ichigo had almost forgotten his question when Nanao finally spoke again.

"I destroyed two lives the day I took this body. As if one wasn't bad enough. I erased Nanao's mind and I killed Shunsui's soul. Not even a minute old in this world, and I was already a murderer." Ichigo opened his mouth to protest, but Nanao went on. "Shunsui never even asked — the thought of getting his Nanao back had never crossed his mind. When I told him I was looking for her, he was confused. He didn't understand why I would feel the need to look for her. And if I ever found her, what would I do anyway? I couldn't make myself disappear.

"Except that I could. I can. I know how to…how to…" She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, biting her lip. Her words came out in a rush now. "I know how to take a soul out of it's host body. I told Shunsui if I ever found Nanao, I'd tell him how to…how to take me out."

It took Ichigo a moment to process this information. "No." He said finally, his voice cold. Nanao chuckled humorlessly.

"Yes, that's what Shunsui said too. He didn't like the idea very much."

Something didn't click in Ichigo's mind. "Wait…just say you do find Nanao someday… Kyoraku takes you out of her body…what happens to you? Don't need one of those tank things to survive outside of a host?"

"A cryo-tank." Nanao nodded. "That's right."

"So if Kyoraku took you out…what would happen?"

"I would die." She said calmly, as if she were speaking about the weather. "It's really not a bad thing!" She added when she saw the dangerous flash in Ichigo's eyes. "It's…it's what I want, actually. Shunsui argued endlessly with me about it. But…staying here has made me realize what we do when we take hosts…we…we murder them. How do we justify that? There's no way to." She was talking more to herself now. "We claim to be pacifists, but in that same breath we murder thousands upon thousands of innocent people. The hypocrisy of it is enough to choke a person. We have no right to this world. To any world. We would have been better off staying on the Origin where we belonged. Instead we stole lives, many more lives than one can possibly count. Dying is the least I can do to atone for that."

Ichigo grabbed Nanao's shoulder, forcing her to turn and face him. "You can't help what you are." He said firmly. "How can we punish you for living?"

"Nobody's punishing me." She smiled a sad smile. There were tears in her eyes. "I'm punishing myself."

Ichigo realized then that there was no point in trying to have this conversation. Nanao was obviously a classic martyr. Why bother trying to talk her out of something she was already firmly decided on? He let them fall back into silence. He wasn't going to give this one up quite yet.

It was dark before they spoke again. "Looks safe." Ichigo said quietly, pushing himself up. His cramped legs protested, not liking the shift in movement. Nanao stood as well, stretching her arms. Ichigo let her take the lead.

"We're looking for something labeled Inside Clean. Got that?"

Ichigo was momentarily confused. Why was she telling him that? But before he could question her, she jumped up onto the docking bay and out of sight.

"Hey! What are you doing here?"

Author's Note: So yeah...review please? -- Sam