My nightmare haunts me all through the next day, and my pace even has Fawkes short of breath. He doesn't ask questions, occasionally muttering things reminiscent of the adage "time is of the essence."

I've been battling with my conscience all day. The Brotherhood needs to know that the Enclave is probably mere days away from activating the purifier. There's no telling what will happen if the Enclave has that kind of control.

My dream has faded slightly, so I know better than to think Amata's dead, but I'm still more than ready to see her. All the realizations I've had during this journey have made me realize how bratty I was acting and how much she deserves an apology.

It's obvious to me that I still have feelings for her, but everything I said was extremely hurtful; I'll be lucky if she even gives me the time of day. I would love to have her back, but I know better than that. I just have to apologize, just to let her know that I'm sorry.

The sun is just beginning to set when the water tower outside Megaton comes into view. The sight makes me hesitate. If I go to the Brotherhood now and tell them what I know, I should be free to go back to Megaton for as long as I want. Of course, I still don't know if Amata will refuse to talk to me, but I have to see her and make sure she's okay. I'll never forgive myself if I don't.

"One more stop, Fawkes," I announce, leading him toward the gated city.

"Don't shoot," I yell up to Stockholm, Megaton's sniper, as we approach the settlement a few minutes later. "He's with me!"

Fawkes follows my gaze curiously, looking interested to see the man perched high on the city walls. He opens his mouth to ask me about it, but I hold up a hand to silence him.

"Not now," I plead. "Just stay here; I need to go talk to someone, and everyone in the city will shoot you on sight if you try to go in there."

The Super Mutant considers my words for a moment, then nods his acquiescence. "Very well, I shall remain here. Don't tarry for long; the Enclave will want to get their hands on the code as quickly as possible."

"I know, I know," I grouse as I hurry away from him toward the city. "But this is important, too."

Stockholm opens the gate for me and I all but sprint inside. Since it's still light out, I assume Amata's still at work, so I race down into the crater of the city. I nearly trip a few times, and it's lucky that I don't tumble into the pool over water by the bomb, thanks to my velocity.

Jenny Stahl is watching me with obvious amusement as I turn and jog over to her restaurant. "You must really be hungry if you're tearing over here that fast," she teases.

Part of me wants to laugh, but I've noticed that Amata's not in sight and my stomach clenches. "I need to talk to Amata," I tell her breathlessly, ignoring the banter.

Jenny seems to realize that it's important, because the grin disappears from her face. "She's off today, probably back up at your house. What's wrong?"

"It's personal," I answer, tossing a "thank you" over my shoulder as I turn and sprint up the hill toward my house. My lungs are burning as I climb the uneven steps and the ramp, and I pause outside the door for a few moments to catch my breath.

I find myself trembling and I realize that I'm terrified of seeing Amata. All the doubts I've had come back and hit me full force. I stagger over to the wall and rest a hand against it to steady myself, trying to calm down and force all the unpleasant thoughts out of my mind.

It takes me a few moments to compose myself, but I walk over to the door and hesitate again. It seems strange that I don't feel like I can enter my own house, but since Amata's been living there more than me, it's more of her house than mine. I also don't want to intrude on her space without asking, so I settle for knocking on the door.

After my knocking fades, seconds seems like an eternity. I'm almost convinced she's not home and my detour will have been for nothing when I finally hear the scrape of the lock. My heart jumps into my throat and then the door's open and she's staring at me, confusion and surprise written across her face.

"Hi," I manage after a few moments of silence. I can't begin to fathom the relief that's washing over me; she's okay.

Amata's eyes are tracing the fresh scar across my face, and her brow furrows slightly. She seems to be imagining ways that I could have obtained it, and she bites her lower lip worriedly before remembering I've said something. "Hi," she answers finally.

I can't remember the last time I've felt so awkward. "Is this a bad time?"

Amata raises an eyebrow. "Are you asking to be let into your own house?"

"It's practically your house," I say, my cheeks warm with embarrassment. "You actually live here."

Amata doesn't seem to know how to respond, but she steps aside and lets me in anyway.

I follow her into the house, glancing around. Not much has changed, but there's just enough of a difference from how I remember the shack to show that Amata's been living here. It looks more cozy, somehow.

"So, what do you want?" Amata asks at length, breaking the silence between us.

I cough awkwardly, turning to look at her as I shift my weight back and forth. I've imagined a million different ways for this conversation to go, but now that it's really happening, I can't find the words I want. "To apologize."

Surprise passed over Amata's face, but she remains silent, allowing me to continue.

"Look, I... I'm sorry. I don't even know how to start." I give her what I hope is an earnest look. "I was such a jerk to you. I don't have any excuse for that. I'm just so sorry. I know what happened in 101 was hard on both of us. I just had my head too far up my ass to accept that."

Amata nods once, her face remaining neutral.

"I know I don't deserve it, and I'll completely understand if you tell me to leave, but..." Words fail me, and I trail off and gaze at her pleadingly, wishing I could just show her what I'm feeling. Articulating my whirling emotions is nearly impossible. "A hell of a lot happened in the past few weeks, and I just... I know I was an ass, but I love you, Amata."

She stares at me for a few minutes, then turns around and begins straightening some books on a shelf.

I deflate a little, watching quietly as she continues her task silently. "... Amata?"

She ignores me.

Something in me crumples, and I just stand there, hoping for an explanation, or even a rejection. I could handle an answer, but not knowing is killing me.

Finally, she sighs. "I don't know what you want me to say." Amata stops what she's doing and crosses her arms over her chest, still facing away from me. "You were... God, you were such a jerk. Do you even realize that?"

I want to answer, but she doesn't give me a chance. I figure I deserve whatever she wants to throw at me, so I don't make much of an effort to interrupt.

"You didn't... I don't know. You seemed like you hated me. I mean, you practically said you wished I was dead." We both wince at the memory. "But you had to go and get drunk and sleep with Nova instead of just talking to me about why you were so upset so we could fix it."

I feel the blood drain from my face. "I... how?"

"Word gets around," she says dismissively.

"Sorry. I didn't... I mean..." I had almost forgotten about that night with Nova in the chaos of the last few weeks, but knowing Amata knows makes me sick. I've ruined any shot I have with Amata now, and I know it. "That was stupid of me. I can't apologize enough."

Amata finally turns around and gives me a bemused look. "Do you really think I can believe you, just like that? That you can just come in here and apologize? How do I know you're not just trying to sweet talk me to get into my pants before running off again?"

I shift uncomfortably, the tone of her voice making my betrayal sting all over again. "No, you... I don't know. You're worth way more than that. I wouldn't do that to you." The words so honest, they almost hurt. "I don't know what I was thinking. I don't deserve anything from you. I wouldn't even be surprised if you've found someone else." My stomach flips as the thought occurs to me.

Amata glances at me and shrugs. "Andy down at the store has been pretty friendly lately."

Part of me wants to collapse to the ground and cry. Andy Stahl can offer her a nice, stable life and I haven't even had the chance to try yet, what with all the work I've done for Project Purity. I'm positive he'll be a better match for her than I will. Somehow, I manage to stay on my feet and take a few seconds to compose myself. "Oh."

She lets me sweat for a few seconds before cracking a half-smile. "Yeah, but he's a complete jerk, so I told him to buzz off."

I gape at her for a minute, hardly able to make sense of what she's just said.

Amata lets out a little chuckle and shakes her head at me.

A little of the tension between us fades and I offer her a weak smile. "That was cruel."

"The look on your face was worth it," she retorts.

We share a grin, and for a few moments, it feels like I have my best friend back. Then her smile falters and everything comes crashing back to reality.

"I really am sorry," I offer in the silence.

She studies me for a while. "I don't know if I can believe you," she answers slowly, biting her lower lip uncertainly. "I want to, but I just... I don't know how to ask you to prove it."

I consider dropping to my knees and begging, but stick with putting a pleading look on my face. "I'll do whatever it takes."

Amata goes silent again, her gaze lingering on my face.

I'm three seconds away from groveling at her feet when she sighs and opens her mouth.

"I should hate you."

As much as the words hurt, I can sense a "but" coming, and I've never felt more hopeful in my life. "But...?"

She lets out a heavy sigh. "But I can't."

I don't have a chance to respond before she continues.

"I can't hate you. I've tried. But... God..." She refuses to look at me, biting her lip anxiously. "Even after everything, I just," she stammers, trailing off again. "I understood where you were coming from, why you were mad... I wanted to move past it and get over you, but I couldn't not remember you the way I know you are. I fell for the caring, sweet, protective you, and I knew you were still in there." A half-smile flicks across Amata's face.

I'm not sure how it's possible, but I feel even more guilty knowing that that's how she was thinking. "Amata, I..."

She cuts me off with a wave of her hand. "Let me finish? This is hard enough." She exhales slowly before continuing. "Yes, it hurt, and I was totally miserable for a while. But I couldn't un-love you." Amata finally looks up and meets my gaze, her eyes so full of sincerity it's overwhelming. "I know it's pathetic and cliche, but... I can't hate you because I still love you."

I choke a little and momentarily forget that breathing is somewhat necessary.

I don't remember moving closer to her, but we're practically in each other's arms, despite not actually touching each other. I reach out with a trembling hand to touch her and make sure all this is real and happening. I'm expecting her to flinch away, but she doesn't, instead almost turning her head to meet my touch.

My fingertips trace down her jaw and she lifts her chin slightly. We're already breathing heavier and I'm still inches away from her. She looks almost hopeful, and I can't help but feel pleased. It's better than blatant disgust at my presence.

"Can I kiss you?" I breathe, watching as her eyelids start to slide closed.

Her head has barely dipped in a nod before I lean forward and capture her lips. Suddenly, everything else melts away and all I'm aware of is her. All the tension and hostility fades and I'm filled with love for the girl in my arms.

It's a careful and innocent kiss as we test the waters between us. Even so, we're both breathless when we break apart. Amata doesn't move, standing there with her eyes still closed.

I can't keep a smile off my face. I'd forgotten just how wonderful kissing her made me feel. I start to say something, to tell her how much I really do love her. Before I can, she opens her eyes and reaches up, cradling my face in her hands and kissing me again.

We end up locked together in an embrace for a good five minutes, reacquainting ourselves with each other. I'm already antsy, ready to get the Enclave off my back so I can come back here and spend my life with her, loving her like she deserves to be loved.

After coming up for air again, we move to sit together on the stairs. Her fingers trail across the scar around my eye and her brow furrows again.

"What happened?" she asks quietly, worry evident in her voice.

I take her hands in mine, holding them gently and giving her a smile before launching into an extremely abridged story about the escape from Raven Rock. She cringes when I describe the injury, biting her lip sympathetically.

"Can you still see?" Her question is hesitant, as though she's not sure she wants to hear the answer.

I shrug. "Not really. Bright light and shadows is about all, if I'm lucky. I had to learn how to shoot all over again."

"Oh." She frowns at the scar, stretching up and pressing a kiss just beside it. "I'm sorry."

I offer her a smile, taking a few moments to absorb her. It's been so long since I've been able to really look at her, and it's like the first breath of fresh air after nearly drowning. Unlike most things in the wasteland, Amata's soft, sweet, and beautiful. After everything that's happened in these past few weeks, I'm having a hard time believing that she's real. Just thinking about what could have happened and knowing that I can hold her and kiss her makes all the affection I've ever had for her come rushing back. It overwhelms me and I grab her up in a crushing hug.

Amata seems surprised for a moment, but relaxes in my arms almost instantly, her arms going around my neck.

"I missed you," I murmur, screwing my eyes shut to fend off tears. "I'm so sorry."

"You've got the rest of your life to make it up to me," she teases lightly, resting her forehead against mine.

I let out a little laugh. "You're gonna keep me around for that long?"

She just smiles at me and nods slightly. "As long as you want me."

I hug her closer, never wanting to let go. At that thought, I'm reminded of my promise to hurry and get back to Fawkes. Nearly overwhelming dread fills me, and I'm not sure how I make myself form the words that come next. "You're going to kill me for this."

Amata sits back, her brow furrowing. "That worries me."

The worry on her face is almost painful, but I can't quit while I'm so close to the end. I do a few calculations in my head and realize that, if I hurry, I can go to the Citadel, tell them the news, and be back in Megaton by morning. That thought makes it easier to get up and step away.

Amata looks scared as I back away from her. "What's going on?" She gets to her feet and steps toward me, probably without even realizing it.

Words fail me for a few moments. "I... I'm not actually supposed to be here. Not yet, anyway. I just couldn't go any longer without seeing you." At her confused expression, I lift my hands in surrender. "It's a long story, and I swear I'll tell you everything. But, 'Mata, I just... Don't take this wrong, but I have to leave. There's so many people counting on me."

She drops her gaze to the floor, and I can sense just how much this hurts both of us. We've just gotten back to being together, and I'm splitting us up again.

"It's just for another day or two at the most," I offer, hating myself for putting her through this again. "I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you, I swear."

"So, you're leaving me again," she summarizes flatly.

I don't have any way to argue; she's hit the nail on the head. "I'm sorry."

Amata glances up and gives me a teary frown. I falter under her gaze, and am taken by surprise when she crosses the room and flings her arms around my neck. Not even half a second later, her lips crash against mine in a powerful kiss.

"Don't you dare be lying to me," she warns breathlessly when we break apart.

I shake my head. "I'll be back before you know it."

She studies me carefully for a few moments before releasing me with a trusting nod. "Be careful."

I give her a reassuring smile. "I will, I promise." I back up until I hit the wall and reach blindly for the doorknob, unwilling to take my gaze off her until I absolutely have to. Almost grudgingly, I pull the door open and hesitate in the doorway.

I'm overcome with emotion and I can sense how big the entire situation is once again. It almost feels like I'm about to be swallowed up.

"Amata?" I'm surprised by the sound of my own voice. "I love you." I hold onto the hope that she'll understand how much meaning is in those three words.

Apparently she does, because her eyes get glassy with tears and a shaky smile passes over her face. She echoes the words and I leave before I lose all motivation to.

The first few steps away from the house are hardest, especially as the parallel between this time and the last time I've walked away from the house strikes me. I'm inexplicably glad I'm leaving on a good note, and I can't wait to return and not have to leave again.

I slip out of the city relatively unnoticed, jogging back over to my Mutant companion. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's go."

"Lead the way," Fawkes says, and we take off for the Citadel.