Previously, in Professor Tales, last updated a year and a half ago- Nothing bad can come out of a man who wears nothing but orange in charge of a group of people wearing nothing but orange, working in a café decorated in nothing but scarlet.

Rowan was quite glad to peel himself out of the formal clothes Sycamore had encouraged him to get changed into to meet Lysandre. Even though it wasn't his hotel room, the room in Sycamore's house was alarmingly beautiful.
He wasn't sure why he was still surprised at this point. Augustine Sycamore would never have lived in anywhere that didn't match or exceed the beauty of Lumiose City.

Rowan had been put into the room directly next to Sycamore's, and next to Oak's also. It had a balcony, overlooking the bustling night life of Lumiose City, something he allowed himself to enjoy as he helped himself to the bowl of fruit left out for him. They'd barely been able to finish the meal with Lysandre, a fact he wasn't sure whether he was glad of or not.

He could spot a megalomaniac when he saw one. It wasn't just the telltale signs of a man in charge of an evil team- the uniform, the base plastered with logos of yourself, the ego- it was the way he had argued.
Rowan had rather enjoyed it. He'd never got much of a chance to talk to the man who'd attempted to destroy Sinnoh, a fact he secretly lamented as there would have been a perfect chance for some skilled and witty back and forth banter. Well, from his part anyway. From Cyrus- Rowan believed that had been his name- it would have just been demanding that the world worship him. There wasn't so much that could be said to an egomaniac.

Rowan didn't know where these megalomaniacs came from. They seemed to crawl out of the woodwork. Maybe there was an evil team factory, hidden somewhere under the dirt. Whoever ran it was probably even more evil, an evil master greater than anything that they could ever have imagined…

He mused over this possibility as he grudgingly admired how clean the attached bathroom to his room was as he brushed his teeth. It was small, with a sink, shower and toilet, but with an elegance that was so in your face Kalosian that the cherub chiselled on the u-bend of the toilet could possibly have spoken to him if he'd given it a chance.
Didn't have that kind of thing in Sinnoh. Sensible architecture, with the occasional cathedral. That was the limit.

With his mind on Sinnoh, Rowan began to feel a little home sick. What was still on the itinerary for their 'Magical Kalos Adventure'? It seemed they'd already spent weeks there, when in reality it was only a day or two. They'd seen Mega Evolution- maybe they were going to go that tower thing? Or meet the Champion, or the Elite Four? That seemed like something that should be important for a pseudo-official Pokemon Professor visit to another region.
When he'd visited Hoenn, Birch had had all of the gym leaders, the champion, and a small flotilla of news crews. And that was only so Rowan could have a look at their apparently brilliant Battle Zone, or whatever they called it.

He rinsed his mouth and left the bathroom, musing on this as he gratefully fell into bed, crushing the silk pyjamas Sycamore had left for him without even bothering to move them.
It had been an exhausting day, so much so that were he in a story of some kind, it may have spanned some four chapters, and an even longer amount of time. The structure of the visit seemed spaced out too, almost as if whatever higher power, an author if you would, had suddenly lost track.

The fact that such metaphysical topics were on his mind was but a confirmation of his sleep deprived state. Within a few moments, he'd fallen straight to sleep.

The rest of the house was almost silent. There was the sound of a very quiet international call happening from Elm's room as he charged Sycamore for a call to Johto to talk to his son, and when that was over, the house fell silent again.
Nobody woke up when the door slammed as Sycamore returned, having nipped out for a few hours in search of some hard-earned alcoholic beverages, footsteps staggering on the stairs as he trundled up to his room with an obvious urgency.

The moon slid across the sky above Lumiose city as dawn arrived, the sun poking just over the horizon when Rowan jerked awake. Stirring in his crumpled clothes, he pulled himself from bed, staggering over to the balcony doors and opening them up. The white sheer curtains draped themselves over him almost automatically, smothering him in their softness as he pushed himself out into the fresh morning air.

Yes, Lumiose was beautiful. Rowan let his gaze wander, eyes trailing over the beautiful city, until something caught his eye from the corner.
Sycamore's balcony. There was someone on Sycamore's balcony, completely naked but for a very loose and not very helpful silk dressing gown. A woman, purple hair-

Oh lord, it was Fantina. She turned as his mouth dropped open, sending him a radiant smile.

"Professor Rowan! How lovely to see you! What a coincidence that we should be staying next to each other!" she called, waving a hand. Rowan struggled to avert his eyes, more awake than he'd felt in his life and horridly aware of everything.

"Yes! Marvellous coincidence, absolutely…Astounding! I wasn't aware you, uh, were staying!" he replied, desperately trying to look everywhere except at Fantina, her usually well-kept hair trailing luxuriously down her back.

"Oh, ah, it was… Rather last minute." She faltered, the confidence Rowan had come to expect from a Kalosian, Sycamore having been his only other example for several years, faltering as she flushed and fanned her face. "I suppose we shall be having breakfast together later? It's only just past dawn- you should get some rest."

"Well, I'm sure I could tr-"

The sound of Sycamore's voice issuing from the room next door cut him off, the sugared tones sounding more like a death knell to Rowan than a charming call.

"Oh mademoiselleeeee... Oú est tuuuuuuuu?"

Fantina flashed Rowan an apologetic smile as a groping hand came from the sheer curtain, gripping the gym leader and pulling her gently back into the room. Rowan stood there for a moment, before shaking his head and moving back into his own room. Grabbing a few pieces of fruit from the fruit bowl, he considered his options.
Anything was better than risking hearing…that. His opinions on Sycamore were already ruined enough, thank you very much.

And Fantina…! His thoughts on her were unsure. Of course, she was a grown adult, he decided as he changed out of yesterday's clothes and tried to ignore what he perceived as possible sounds from next door. It was easier said than done, and at a particularly loud thump from next door he got up, abruptly leaving the bedroom and heading downstairs.

It was sat at the kitchen table that the other professors found him hours on, all of them looking irritatingly well rested. The Sinnoh professor on the othet hand had been staring intently at the refrigerator, as if looking through it was the key to the answers of life, the Universe, and everything, for several hours. The remains of several pieces of fruit and what looked like a misguided attempt to open some kind of fancy Kalosian tin were scattered around him.

"Professor Rowan? Is everything okay?" Juniper asked, laying a hesitant hand on his shoulder. "Did you not sleep very well?"

Rowan was silent.

"Are you ill? I know a good remedy for stomach pains." Elm suggested. "Chesto berry paste, smeared on the back of the throat. Or maybe that's for constipation. Either way, if we find some berries, we can find out. It's science, as long as you write it down, after all."

Rowan was silent.

"Have you lost something? Apart from your luggage I mean?" Birch inquired, rummaging through Sycamore's cupboards in an attempt to find something to eat. He pulled out a tin, the same kind that lay abandoned next to Rowan, fiddling with the lid in an attempt to get whatever was inside out. The writing was in Kalosian, and the picture was a Pidgey. Birch wasn't entirely sure what was in there, but it looked appetising.

Rowan stayed silent, only looking up when Oak laid a hand on his other shoulder.

"Cheer up old boy. I suppose you're missing home. Not sure what I can say, other than you best get ready for today. I believe Sycamore is taking us up the Prism tower today."

The Prism Tower- it may as well have been called the Prison tower, for how much it filled Rowan with dread. He slowly sunk his face to the table, nose pressing against the wood as in the background, Birch began to smash the tin on the countertop to try and open it. The rhythmic beating of the tin sounded like a drum of war, although they summoned something far more deadly.

"Birch, mon amie, why are you hitting that tin of Glameow food on the counter? If you want to call Quatre, then you must whistle four times."

Sycamore swept into the room, followed moments later by Fantina, Rowan blocking out the friendly exclamations of surprise from his other professors. They didn't know. They weren't there. They had no idea what he'd witnessed. God, he'd have those noises burning in his ears for weeks after this.

"Why are you here? Did you stay over? We didn't see you go to bed!" Juniper was cooing. Behind them all, Sycamore was patiently serving a purring Glameow food from the tin, taking the time to tickle it behind the ear as he made eye contact with Fantina.

"Ah, well, I guess it is just that Augustine here is very kind! So generous! We saw each other out, and he offered me a place to stay." She replied. Rowan lifted his head just in time to see her blush at Sycamore's coy wink to her, running his hands through his hair as the younger professor clapped his hands together. Rowan dipped his head back into his hands once more.

"I thought today, my friends, we might see the most famous sight in all of Kalos! You can see all of Kalos from the tower. Truly a romantic venue. You could decide where you wish to go next, perhaps. Anywhere in Kalos! You are the guests, after all." He was announcing. "So, help yourself to breakfast- there is croissants, cereal, I am preparing crepes for my dear Fantina and anyone else who should want any… And then, to the Tower!"

"That sounds wonderful, Augustine." Fantina spoke, breaking the cavernous, awkward silence that had followed. It wasn't difficult to follow the slow piecing together of the situation that the phase 'dear Fantina' revealed to everyone, and nobody seemed willing to follow it up with anything that wasn't vile gagging or the sweet release of death.

"Yes. Definitely sounds like a plan." Birch ventured, a lone warrior in the conquering of the villainous silence. All eyes turned to him, the Hoenn professor looking awkward under the many pairs of eyes. "So, uh… Those crépes?"

Prism Tower was splendid. Even the fact that it was being run by a boy didn't put a downer on Juniper's mood as she looked out from the brilliant lookout point at the top, elbows on the table either side of her coffee as she gazed out. The others were equally enthralled, even Rowan, who'd been sulking the entire morning, not having said a word, seemed at least a little bit surprised that such a marvel of engineering could have come from a region where the national sport seemed to be walking down a catwalk.

Well, everyone was enthralled except for Sycamore, who seemed far more preoccupied with charming Fantina than observing the beautiful view. Juniper supposed he'd seen it before, especially if he took every woman he was courting up here, and that number seemed more than likely well into the regions of between fifty and a hundred, although if his boasting was to be believed, more than that.
That would explain why the guard had nodded slyly at him, a knowing look that past between the two Kalosian's and was completely missed by everyone else. It was as if a million words had passed between them, and every single one contributed to the tireless idea that Sycamore was Good, if not The Best with ladies.

Juniper wondered if there were contests for this sort of thing. Surely that would provide a way to quantify, and find out who was best; there was a man, a biker in Unova who liked to boast about being a heartbreaker. Idly, Juniper wondered how he and Sycamore would get along.

"Is it really wise for the windows to open like this?" Elm was asking. He turned his head to Sycamore, who was leaning on one tables making soft chatter to Fantina, who giggled. Juniper watched as the Johto professor frowned, before going right back to doing what seemed to be a thorough examination of the window latch.
"Maybe it's broken…" he mumbled, as Birch moved over to help him examine it.

Everything happened very fast. Suddenly there was a young child under Birch's feet, tripping him up and running away shrieking, and suddenly Birch was catapulted into Elm, and suddenly Elm's glasses had flown off his face.
And promptly dropped out of the window and into the great expanse of air outside the Prism Tower. Elm shrieked in hysteria, scrabbling at the window in what was obviously a misguided attempt to retrieve his glasses from the rapidly increasing gap between them, only for the catch on the watch on his wrist to suddenly snap, breaking away as if it had felt compelled to suddenly give up its job as a watch clasp and instead wishing to be something else, like a helicopter for example.

Juniper watched, open mouthed, as the watch, propelled by the mad scrambling of the professor, was flung into the air. It arched high, before promptly hitting a flock of Pidgey and sending a couple flying into the side of a nearby building, where they stuck to the bricks and stayed there. A young woman watering plants on the balcony nearby to the Pidgey catastrophe looked at them, mouth wide open in what could only be described as a momentary lapse in the ability to function.
The room was silent for a little while, before there was an awkward sounding sigh from Sycamore.

"Ahhh, Monsieur Elm… Those items, they weren't insured, were they?"

He wandered over, patting Elm on the back with a little more force than was necessary. From his chest pocket, Elm's wallet slipped out and fell into the air to join his glasses. Sycamore blinked, and very gingerly removed his hand.

"Ah. Pardon. That was entirely my fault."

My lord this update took long. What was it, 18 months for an update? I've been in university, so I haven't had much time to work, and this was finished at 4am two days before an exam. What has my life come to?

Anyway, I hope this is enjoyed and amuses people as much as it amused me whilst writing. Hopefully, fingers crossed, we get more soon. Hopefully.