Again, I'd like to take a moment to be a heartless monster and ask for reviews again. Please, over a thousand people have been enjoying my fanfic on this site, but only three of them have been posting reviews (Thanks, guys). The praise and constructive criticism is always welcomed, so please review if you have the time~

Thank you!

EDIT: Yay! The freaky internet problem resolved itself and my precious chapters can now be arranged properly~

– TOUHOU –

Byakuren and Darius opened the sliding door behind the Hakurei Shrine in the morning to see a rather… interesting sight.

"Y-Y-Yukarin~! Stop that~"

"But you like it so much, don't you~"

"Noooo~"

Darius glanced away, his face slowly reddening, a small nosebleed forming as he watched Yukari continue actively molesting the little miko while trying to remove her half-wrapped sarashi. The gap youkai had somehow pushed the shrine maiden to the ground as was currently crawling all over her, the white dress she usually wore now scuffed and dirty from rolling around on the floor, loosened by the fight and now only hanging loosely off her shoulder. Reimu herself was… in a state of undress, to say the least, though there was thankfully (mostly) secure covering on her more personal areas. If Yukari weren't intentionally trying to remove it, at least.

"Yukari-san, kindly stop trying to defile Reimu-san," Byakuren sighed.

The Phantasm of Gensokyo looked up, only noticing the duo for the first time. "Oh! Dari-chan, how nice to see you! You can swap places with me now; go on, don't be shy!"

Unfortunately, her hands were still roving every inch of Reimu's body, and were at the moment in a very… affectionate grip with the miko. Ignoring her pants and pleas, Yukari raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

That was when both Darius and Byakuren grabbed her by the arm and unceremoniously tossed her down the mountain.

– TOUHOU –

A vein was pulsing in Reimu's forehead as she drank a cup of tea, glaring over it at the youkai who was innocently looking around and whistling. "You…"

"Oh, stop being such a tsundere." Yukari pouted. "You can't honestly say you didn't like it, you know~"

Reimu blushed and hid her face behind her cup, gulping down a bit too much tea. Coughing, she choked out, "W-w-who said anything about liking what you did to me? I-idiot!"

"Reimu-san, you are not helping your own case right now." Darius leaned on the table easily. "But really, Yukari; do you honestly show up out of nowhere while she's undressing and try raping her on a daily basis?"

"Ufufufu~ It's not rape if she likes it~" Darius slammed his head against the table in frustration, Byakuren opted for a facepalm, and Reimu gagged. Yukari looked at them all innocently. "What?"

Her eyes sharpening, she quickly spoke before anyone could say a word. "Now, I believe we were her to discuss Rinnosuke's current state of being in Former Hell?"

"This isn't over," Reimu seethed. "But yes, I got the letter. I'm assuming you two did, too." She nodded at Byakuren and Darius, who nodded back in response.

"Oh, it most certainly isn't over~" Yukari fixed the miko with a lecherous stare as she continued. "Nonetheless, I've tried spying on Rinnosuke, but he seems to be capable of blocking my gaps somehow, so we'll have to duel him right out of the underground."

"Enough of your sex life." Darius still had his face planted firmly against the table. "Can we just get going and seal that abomination against nature already?"

"Not quite yet." Yukari turned to face him, twirling her parasol idly. "You see, our letter contained a note saying a third team will be joining us."

"Another team?" Byakuren raised an eyebrow. "That wasn't on our letter."

"Dari-chan~!"

Whump!

Darius found himself bowled over as Karin slammed into him for a flying tackle hug. Forcing the girl off of him, he got up and saw the second member of the gravity manipulator's team. "Hey, Cirno-san."

"Hello." Cirno stepped into the room, the temperature dropping several degrees from her mere presence. "I happened to receive a letter explaining what had happened with Rinnosuke-san. Care to explain why it stated you as the perpetrator, Darius-kun?"

"Um…" Darius began to back away as five murderous glares began to bear down on him. "The voices in my head made me do it?"

As they drew in even closer, he flailed about a little before breaking down. "Alright, alright! I was trying to steal some of Eirin-san's shady new drugs and use it to prank Byakuren, but the salad I put it into turned into a tentacle monster and ran away and Rinnosuke ate it! Gaaaaaah!"

"YOU WHAT!?"

From around the table, similar explosions of indignation followed Karin's outburst.

"Are you kidding me!?" Reimu jumped onto the table, gohei already in her hand.

"You're almost as crazy as I am!" Yukari slipped off her gap and fell to the ground with a crash.

"You tried to feed me shady drugs that would've turned me into what Rinnosuke is now!?" Byakuren raised a spell card into the air. "Superhuman Sign – Byakuren Hijiri!"

Darius' eye was twitching as he looked at the smirking Cirno leaning against the doorway. "Yeah, screw you too, Miss Seraph…"

Then he was immolated by four exceptionally angry girls.

– TOUHOU –

"Ow…" Darius rubbed his arm gingerly as he limped along next to the others. "Okay, you four I can understand, but why'd you join in too, Cirno!?"

"I felt like it," the ice fairy shrugged.

"For all your posturing, you're still a nineball, aren't you…?"

"Oh, be quiet."

"What are we all doing in this giant flower field anyways?"

"Satori-san felt the need to recruit one last solo member for our little extraction team." Cirno glanced over her shoulder and grinned evilly. "I do trust you two will be fast friends. You should offer her one of those sunflowers, you know."

"Darius, no!" The gunslinger's hands were stopped less than an inch away from the nearest sunflower. Byakuren glared at the ice fairy. "Cirno, you crazed little fairy!"

The Seraph of Ice smiled genuinely. "I'm sorry; I can't help but indulge myself a little from time to time."

"What's going on here?" Darius was completely lost.

Byakuren shook her head and explained. "This is Yuuka Kazami's Garden of the Sun. Plucking any flower in these fields means signing your own death warrant for her."

"It's a sunflower. What's the big deal?"

"… She's a flower youkai, Darius."

"Oh…"

"Some people call her the Ultimate Sadistic Creature, and with good reason." Reimu looked at the sunflower Darius had tried to grab. "Good, you didn't harm the flower. We're safe for now."

"Wait, we're not allowed to touch flowers?" Karin looked up innocently, her hands full with a bouquet of sunflowers.

"Oh, crap." Yukari visibly paled. Grabbing Reimu, she jumped into a gap that appeared directly in front of her. "RUUUUUU~UUUUN!"

"This is going to end horribly," Cirno muttered. Generating an icicle sword, she raised it in a defensive stance. "Darius-kun! Byakuren-san! Draw your weapons and stay alert."

She tried to look deeper into the dense maze of sunflowers. "Yuuka's on the prowl."

"What?" Karin was confused.

"Keep your voice down!" Three voices hissed at her, but it was too late. A palpable aura of killing intent radiated from in front of them as a snapping, crackling sound echoed through the Garden of the Sun. A boot slammed into the ground, leaving behind a crater as its owner revealed herself.

"Oh, dear." Yuuka rubbed her eyes with one hand, her parasol clutched in her other. Her nightcap bobbed on her head as she walked; apparently, she'd just been woken up.

Flower Master of Four Seasons

YUUKA KAZAMI

"I'm simply enjoying my daily noontime nap and what happens? Someone goes around, killing my innocent little children." She glared directly at Karin through her sleepy haze. "It was you, wasn't it~?"

Karin stowed the bouquet behind her back. "Um, no…?"

"Nice try." Yuuka closed her parasol and pointed it at them. A ball of light began to form on its tip. "Now, you have ten seconds to pray to your deity of choice and decide which organ you want removed first, little girl."

"Wait! Yuuka-san!" Byakuren slid in front of Karin, vajra in hand. "Didn't you receive your letter as well? From Satori-san!"

"Hmm…" Yuuka yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. "No, I can't say I did, Hijiri. Elly must've forgotten again. Oh, well." Her parasol began to glow brighter, along with the sunflowers around her. "Now please move, Hijiri. I'll just take the girl and you lot can be on your way~"

"We either all walk away or none of us do," Darius said calmly as he readied Alexa. The revolver had been unusually quiet since his first dream encounter, only ever speaking in his dream world, and even then only just enough to tell him how to hone his manipulation skills.

"It doesn't matter if you all attack me at once; I can still easily rip you all to shreds. In my Garden of the Sun, my sunflowers provide me with unlimited magical power, after all." The youkai moe giggled a little.

"We'll see about that." Darius dug into his pocket for a spell card, but before he could, Yuuka simply dispersed the energy around her parasol and slammed it into his side with extreme force, sending him flying through the sunflower field. Completely ignoring Cirno's attempts to distract her with danmaku, the Ultimate Sadistic Creature walked at a leisurely pace after Darius, frowning at the way his passage had ripped up quite a few sunflowers.

"No, no," she muttered to herself. "This won't do at all."

Darius gently pressed a hand to his side to try and stop the bleeding. Seriously, how was it even possible to swing a parasol like that and not instantly shatter it? Looking up, he found that Yuuka had come face-to-face with him, a cruel smile flickering on her lips. "Look at what you've done, boy. You've torn up all my precious little flowers! I hope you realize I have to punish you now."

"Darkness Sign – Endless Absence of Light!"

The beam of darkness erupted from the barrel of his gun, a laser on par with Marisa's infamous Master Spark. However, it was merely an annoyance to Yuuka, who did nothing but open her parasol slowly and prop it up in front of her. To the gunslinger's complete surprise, the beam struck the parasol and was deflected, several smaller lasers shooting past the flower youkai and instead burning down more of her precious flowers.

"You…!" Yuuka snapped her parasol shut and took one, two, three decisive steps forward at the recovering Darius, her parasol hand drawn back for a crushing blow. "Die!"

The parasol slammed into Darius' stomach and saw him flying into the air, trailed by countless bullets of flower danmaku as Yuuka pointed the parasol at the gunslinger as he fell. Her voice was cold with fury and hate as she declared her spell card.

"Sun Sign – Solar Spark."

Three times larger than Marisa's own Master Spark, Yuuka's most iconic spell card sent a colossal wave of energy blasting away at Darius. Finally, Darius heard Alexa speak up. Well, we're screwed.

"Of all the last words you could've chosen…" Darius watched the laser approach.

Just kidding, of course. While you weren't looking, I slapped together a new spell card for you. Fire at will, Darius-sama.

"Gotcha." Darius holstered the revolver and held his hands out in front of him, staring down the vast beam. In each hand, a monotone ball of energy began to form; crackling black and white as they throw off sparks in the air.

Alexa muttered, Yakumo Arcana…

"Phantasmal Triple Barrier," Darius finished.

Sweeping his hands out in a wide arc, two black-white lines formed an X shape for a split-second and expanded, swirling around each other and Darius in a perfect representation of yin-yang, the Solar Spark slammed into it at full force. Yuuka narrowed her eyes as she watched her Solar Spark grate across the surface of Darius' bootlegged border spell, the extreme force of her laser assault keeping him suspended in the air. For a stolen spell, it certainly was quite strong. Rather like a certain other black-white kleptomaniac magician…

Yuuka's Solar Spark canceled out, dispersing into several slow-moving orbs of danmaku. Without a support, Darius fell to the ground, easily turning his fall into a roll. Recovering at extremely rapid speeds, he flung himself headlong at Yuuka, the border spell around him coalescing into a single extremely dense amalgamation of magic in his hand.

The flower youkai gritted her teeth as the gunslinger neared, fist drawn back for a punishing blow. Swinging back her parasol, Yuuka brought it around for a decapitating strike –

Darius slid under the metallic death, barely saving his face from a brutal rearrangement as his momentum brought him that last crucial meter closer. With one last burst of strength, he shot forward like a bullet…

Yuuka brought up her parasol, recovering far quicker than Darius anticipated. For several seconds, both parties stood in a stalemate with each other. The Ultimate Sadistic Creature smiled terribly. "Nice try, boy."

Holding up her hand, Darius finally saw the hidden orb of magic concealed in her hand. "Flower Sign – Giga Spark."

Just as the massive blitzkrieg of death emanated from Yuuka's palm, Darius drew his fist back and twisted, bringing Alexa to bear on his opponent.

"Absent World without Yin nor Yang – Great Wuji Storm of Oblivion."

– TOUHOU –

"Owowowowow! Byakuren, that hurts more than taking a point-blank Giga Spark!"

"That's your punishment for running off and challenging Yuuka of all people!"

"Stop that! I get it, already!" Darius finally pulled himself free of Byakuren's vice-like grip, nursing his many bruises. After having beaten down Yuuka and nearly killing himself to do it, they had (as per usual Gensokyan customs) been graciously invited into the youkai's mansion for tea and biscuits. Thankfully, the youkai moe had indeed listened to Cirno's explanation of what had happened to Rinnosuke, and after pulling the letter off of her stubborn guard (who had been locked in the 'dungeon' for future 'punishment'), agreed to assist them.

Yukari and Reimu also showed back up after a while, with the gap youkai looking suspiciously cheerful, and the miko looking distinctly beaten-up, her shrine maiden getup having been torn up, albeit not in any revealing locations. Nonetheless, it made Darius idly wonder about what kind of depraved sex life Yukari had, and probably Yuuka, too…

Until the Phantasm of Gensokyo promptly tried running him over with a train for daring to copy her Charming Quadruple Barrier.

The youkai moe stretched her arms over her head, yawning and smacking her lips. "Certainly, I'll be joining you in solving this little incident. However, I need to take my midday nap, which you rather rudely interrupted. Good night, everyone." Nodding curtly to Darius, she left the room, but poked it back in for the briefest moment. "Oh, and please leave within the next ten minutes; I have a nasty habit of sleepwalking~"

With those last words, she closed the door behind her and sauntered off to her bedroom. Cirno sighed as she swapped out the ice pack she'd earlier plopped on Darius' head with a fresh one. Tossing away the melted ice, the ice seraph looked to the others. "So, I believe that's everyone who will be joining us on our next incident?"

Reimu and Yukari nodded their consent. Darius said, "I believe so", and Byakuren was too busy playing with a Yukkuri she'd snuck out of Yuuka's torture chambers to notice.

"Good. Now, with that out of the way, I'll be waiting for you all at Youkai Mountain. Come along, Karin-san."

"Okay, Cirno-nee!"

"If you please, arrive before sundown, as I'd rather not see you all incapacitated by feral youkai before even reaching your destination," Cirno concluded and flew off, followed closely by Karin.

"What should we do about Yuuka?" Darius looked to Byakuren.

The monk shook her head. "She'll show up when we need her; trust me. As for us… you could probably use these few hours to recuperate."

Darius nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Byakuren."

Her face reddened a little. "N-no problem, Darius…"

"Aw, look at the two little lovebirds~ aren't they cute, Reimu-chan?" The moment was instantly shattered by one remorseless Yukari as she poked her head between them.

"Dammit, Yukari." Reimu slumped against the wall and sighed. Darius and Byakuren reacted in a slightly more pronounced way.

"I will see you burnt to a crisp in Makai, Yukariiiiiiii!" Darius sprang up and chased after the gap youkai, who shrieked and ran, closely followed by Byakuren, who almost tripped over her own feet as she got up. "Y-Yukari, we're not l-l-lovers, darn it all!"

"Your denial only makes me try harder~" Yukari cackled as she burst through the doors of Yuuka's mansion and flew off.

"Light and Darkness – Solar Eclipse!"

"Great Magic – Devil's Recitation!"

"Shikigami – Cheeeeeeeen~!" Plucking the unfortunate nekomata out of a gap, she hurled the little shikigami at Darius, bowling him over. Turning to Byakuren, she drew another shikigami spell card. "Shikigami – Exhibitio – er, I mean – Ran!" From another gap, she seized her loyal and rather miffed kitsune shikigami and flung her at Byakuren, batting her out of the air. "SorryIgotthingstodowishIcouldstayaroundlongerohwe llBYE~!"

And with that, Yukari disappeared into a third gap, sealing off her shikigamis' escape route. Apologizing, Ran hauled Byakuren and Darius back to their feet, just as a massive gap opened up behind her and Yukari's voice echoed out. "Obsolete Line – Trip to the Abandoned Station!"

Right on cue, another train came blasting out of the tunnel, running over all four of the unlucky targets. The gap closed once more, this time for good as everyone shakily got back to their feet. Readjusting her hat, Ran called out, "Is everyone okay? Byakuren-san? Darius-san? Cheeeeeeeeen~!"

"Ran-shamaaaaaa~!" The two flew into each other's arms, Ran spouting yet another nosebleed as she hugged the little nekomata tight. Byakuren sighed and shook her head, whereas Darius groaned and smacked his head against the mansion wall. "Dammit, Yukari…!"

– TOUHOU –

I also happen to realize I've been leaning on the border between T-rating and M-rating. Don't worry, I won't post anything explicit...

Yet.

Mwahahaha!

(srsly tho no smut sry)