"Of knowing my enemy"
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
Summary: Ichigo makes a rash decision which leads to the unfortunate situation of him being stuck with Grimmjow. Learning someone to be human is tougher than it seems, especially when that someone is supposed to be your enemy.
Post-war. Friendship fanfiction.
Hello, all. This is the first time I'm writing Ichigo and Grimmjow, and the first time I'm making an attempt at First Person POV. No beta. Feel free to be critical in reviews.
Feedback is highly appreciated!
I am sorry for the long wait. Unfortunately my exams have started so I have little time to write due to studying. This chapter was also very difficult to write for an unknown reason.
"I'm glad you're getting along."
Urahara can say whatever he wants but I don't feel like Grimmjow and I are getting along at this particular moment. I think that if we were getting along, I wouldn't be out in this damned weather looking for him, since he's run away. As I'm pacing towards the place where we first fought I try to recollect why we got into this mess. Oh yeah... Grimmjow was bored. I got sick of him interrupting my work and somehow we ended up yelling at each other, to the point where Grimmjow tried to jump out of my window. I panicked and... I guess I screamed my soul out in his face. Then he took off.
I feel stupid. Like a parent looking for a lost child or a man trying to find his lost wife. It feels like I'm responsible; like it's my fault.
Suddenly my school work comes to mind again and I wince. Hopefully, I'll track down Grimmjow soon enough so I can have some sleep tonight.
"Grimmjow!"
This is insane.
"Grimmjow!"
I'm almost there.
No scars are left on the streets. No more testimonies that once, we fought here as enemies. I remember this was one of my first encounters with Espada. I was scared shitless. When Grimmjow impaled Rukia... I don't even want to think about it anymore. Then Shinji butted in and kicked Grimmjow's ass by firing a cero in his face. I remember seeing Ulquiorra's face for the first time when he stopped the Sexta from becoming Pantera.
So many memories – horrible memories – and yet, here I am, running through the rain trying to find the former Espada. I keep telling myself that I don't give a damn about him but merely about my responsibility given by Soul Society. I wouldn't blame anyone for telling me I'm going insane.
I gaze around and scan the abandoned streets for any signs of Grimmjow. He's not here. I sigh and rub a hand over my face. A feeling in my gut sends me towards one of the high buildings around. I take the flight of stairs towards the roof. The heavy metal door that leads to the outside discourages me from going out once more but I fight my urge to stay inside – where it's dry and warm. I open the door and the rain hits my skin again.
Somehow I made the right decision because there he is.
Any person would've thought he were relaxing in the sun – if it hadn't been for the pouring rain and dark skies - lying flat on his back with his arms under his head. Eyes closed, face lifted towards the downpour. His hair is a blue mess, strands sticking down his face.
I wonder what the hell is wrong with him. For a moment I ask myself if maybe he's unconscious, but then I realize that no person falls on the ground in this position. Being there, spread out in the rain on a wet roof as if he's enjoying himself; anything but fitting with his catlike nature.
"Grimmjow!" I yell, pacing towards him. He doesn't react, doesn't even look at me. "Hey, Grimmjow!"
Hesitating, I crouch on the ground next to him. My hand touches the wet concrete of the roof we're on. Everything smells like wet stone. Everything is wet stone. "Grimmjow?"
A silent pause.
"Leave me alone, Kurosaki."
His voice is barely audible. He's not yelling, not scowling. Instead, I can't make anything from the tone of his voice. He sounds tired, like it wouldn't even matter if he raised his voice at me.
"What are you doing?" I ask. It's hard to keep myself from kicking his ass and dragging him home. Imagine how hard I'm trying not to raise my own voice. I can't hear it due to the rain, but I see his chest going down as he sighs.
"Just go," he says.
Without thinking any further, I promptly bend over and lie down next to him, arms behind my head. I can instantly feel the rain water finding its way underneath my coat and shirt. I wince slightly against the cold. From the corner of my eye, I see that Grimmjow turns his head towards me.
"Kurosaki. What are you doing?" he asks, a scowling tone having entered his voice again.
"Nothing." I shrug.
He scoffs. "You're crazy in the head..." he mumbles.
Now my shirt, sweater, coat, scarf, pants, shoes and socks are officially soaked. However, a certain calmness washes over me. Fuck tomorrow's test. This is more urgent. This is my responsibility. I make something clear to myself, though; Grimmjow is not a friend of mine. Our 'partnership' does not compare in the least to what I have with Rukia, Renji, Orihime, Chad or Uryu. With Grimmjow, things are difficult and weird and troublesome. I'm on my back in the godforsaken rain, on a godforsaken rooftop. No friend of mine would do this to me.
Nonetheless, I realize once more that Grimmjow was appointed to my care by Soul Society. I am responsible for him. It is my duty to teach him the ways in the Human World so he can survive on his own someday, to live a humble life in spite of his spiritual essence - like my friends and I do as well. We manage, and it's my duty to make him manage too.
"Grimmjow?" I ask quietly. The wind blows hard and if he'd been any further, my voice would've faded in the wind, but we're close.
"Hm?"
I turn to face him. His blue eyes are squinting to protect them from the splattering rain.
"I'm sorry for getting mad," I say, "I panicked and... I didn't mean to... make you leave, okay?"
For a moment neither of us moves nor speaks. Then he shrugs.
"It's not like I wanted to kill myself or something..."
I think I get it. If I'm right, it was just a mistake.
"Confused this world and the next, didn't you?" I ask.
He closes his eyes and faces the dark skies once more. The corners of his mouth sourly go down a bit. I take that as a yes.
"It's not all that weird, you know..." I say, "You've been a Hollow your whole life. I wouldn't find it easy adjusting to a gigai either, Grimmjow."
"Yeah, well, sorry for fucking up! I'd like to see how you'd do with suddenly being put in a worthless body like this one! I can't even jump out of a fucking window without getting hurt. Did you ever see me taking the fucking stairs in Hueco Mundo? Do you think any of us ever climbed those buildings? No! Because they were all high as fuck and we all jumped or flew. And you know what? I don't see why the fuck you should even care! Remember that it was you who-"
"I'm responsible."
My interruption renders him quite speechless.
"I was responsible since the moment I decided to get you out of there. I feel like I've been responsible ever since. Soul Society sees me responsible too. I hope you can understand that I'd feel like a shitty caretaker if I'd let you jump out of my window."
The soggy rustling of Grimmjow's clothing catches my attention. I turn my head towards him and - squinting through the rain - I can see he's getting up. Once he stands, I can see he's soaked to the bone just like I am. Lazily he puts his hands in the pockets of his pants and he starts to walk away from me. A few meters before the edge of the building he stops. He's made quite clear to me that his intentions of jumping out of my window were never suicidal in any way, but my heart still makes a small leap when I see him that close to the edge. He's not exactly the careful type of person.
I get up myself. "Let's go home, Grimmjow."
With a feral, loud roar and his teeth bared, Grimmjow suddenly spurts at me in an amazing speed. In less than a second, he lunges at me and tackles me to the ground. Everything happens so fast I can hardly process, but I think we landed on my hip as the pain quickly rises there. I wince. "What the hell are y-"
"THIS..." he pants, "IS NOT MY HOME SHINIGAMI!" His hand is clenched around my collar.
I flinch. This is the Sexta Espada all over again.
Instinctively, I try to get him off me but his grip is tight. Without thinking I ball my fist, retract my arm only to send it flying forward, punching him square in the jaw. I expect him to wince but shrug it off like he always did in the past. However, his reaction is true to his human form. Probably for the first time in his life, he loses his balance and ends up on the ground next to me, one hand supporting his body and the other pressed to his jaw. The curses that silently escape from his mouth are colorful to say the least. I can tell he's in pain.
"Motherf..." he moans.
Using this opportunity to avoid an escalating fight, I manage to get up and take a few steps backwards. I rub my still hurting hipbone.
"I don't care what you have to say about it, Grimmjow. From now on, it is your goddamn home so deal with it," I say firmly. "Now get up and come with me."
"Fuck you!" he grunts, still holding the side of his face. "You think you can subdue me with a punch in the face? Ha!"
I sigh deeply. "Grimmjow, what the hell is wrong with you?" I ask, the tone in my voice serious. A remark about 'this time of the month?' seems funny for a moment, but not appropriate in the least since I don't feel like getting killed tonight.
With a loud groan, he manages to get up. Standing hunched over with one hand supporting on his knees and the other against his face, he spits a clot of blood on the ground. The rain turns it into bloody streak against the grey concrete. "Nothing's wrong with me, Shinigami.." he groans.
"You've been acting different. Volatile. If you don't wanna come home you might at least tell me what the hell's going on," I say. I'm doing my best not to get angry but seriously, he's not making any sense.
"Are you stupid, Shinigami?" he asks, frowning even deeper.
"What?" I can't make sense out of him anymore. He's really pushing it.
"Well, what do you think? I think it's pretty damn obvious that I hate this place!"
Wait. What? Is this why he's been so unreasonable today?
"I thought you ran off because I got angry?"
Slowly, he lets out a deep sigh and takes a few steps towards me. His blue hair is sticking to his head and face because he's drenched to the bone, just like me. "You know what?" he asks, his tone tired again, like things don't even matter anymore.
Hesitating, I stand my ground as he approaches.
"What?" I ask. The silence unnerves me.
"You know damn well I can never fit in this place, Shinigami," he states. His voice in honest. He's not making this up. This is something that's been brooding inside for quite some time if you ask me.
I sigh and run a wet hand through my equally wet hair. "Oh come on... Don't give up on this, Grimmjow," I say, relieved that apparently, he doesn't plan to punch or tackle me any time soon. "Where the hell does this come from?"
I am perplexed.
Grimmjow Jaegerjaques is capable of feeling. And out of all feelings, he's being insecure. Insecure. Doubtful. Thinking about quitting. From all things, I have never associated these with the Sexta Espada.
He just stands there – an angry scowl on his face - gazing at the ground.
"Just come home already..." I press. Almost, I'm tempted to hold out my hand but I figure he would find that immensely gay. "Let's talk on the way back, alright?"
Just come along. Come along. Come along. Please.
"Yeah... I guess," he murmurs, roughly putting his hands in his pockets.
"Alright, let's get out of this damn rain."
While we go towards the metal door that closes us off from the inside of the building, I ponder. Grimmjow and I seriously need to find better ways to communicate. If something's bothering him, he might as well tell me instead of bothering me the whole freaking day, just to have me lash out at him. But I guess the same goes for me. I probably shouldn't have told him to fuck off because he was interrupting my studies. Just should've asked him nicely to cut me some slack, I guess.
When we leave the building the wind – sending raindrops in my face – and cold hit me again and god I'll be happy to get home.
"So..." I start, attempting a civil conversation with Grimmjow about how he's feeling. This is more than just weird. It is alien. "Why do you think you won't fit in this world, huh?"
He shrugs, face not moving a muscle. His gaze is pointed towards the ground to avoid rain getting in his eyes. "Don't know."
"Did something happen... or something?" I ask.
"Fuck no," he starts "but that doesn't mean I like all this shit. Everything's so complicated here."
I let out a small sigh. There's no denying that. "I know, sometimes I miss Soul Society as well..."
"Huh? I don't miss your damn Soul Society! Hueco Mundo, smartass," he yells, looking at me like I'm retarded.
Dense bastard.
"I just don't fucking belong here!" he continues, "and I was never given a damn choice either!"
He gives me a fixed glare. Touché.
"Then what was I supposed to do? Leave you out there to die?" I ask, gesturing wildly with my hands. "You should've seen yourself. It was not a pretty sight, Grimmjow. And that's exactly what makes us different. I couldn't leave you out there out of pity. But I bet you would've cut my throat any time..."
"Hey, hey, hey!" he interrupts, "You don't know that, so shut up."
As if he wouldn't have.
"Just... give yourself some time to adjust here, alright? No one expects it to be easy."
"Renji sure likes it here..." he mutters under his breath.
"Renji? Look, don't compare yourself to Renji... he's free to go back to Soul Society whenever he fancies it – you don't have that option. You have to stick through all the shit as well."
"Hm." He shrugs.
"Just take your time, Grimmjow."
"You make it sound like I have all the fucking time in the world," he grunts. Obviously, he doesn't agree.
"... Don't you?" I ask doubtfully. Soul Society never told me about any deadlines and I can't imagine Grimmjow having an important date in the near future either.
"Fuck no!" he yells in my face. "You think I wanna spend the rest of eternity here? Living off your back like I fucking owe you something?"
Ah. There it is.
Realization hits me that - finally - I am hearing the true reason behind Grimmjow frustration and volatile behavior. "Don't worry, you don't owe me anything," I assure him.
"Damn right I don't! But I'm still living in your house, and eating your food, and wearing and using all your shit!"
We've stopped walking. Grimmjow's very close again, shouting in my face and making wild gestures with his arms and hands. I notice his jaw's beginning to bruise a little. Hopefully my dad won't notice or else he'll kick my ass.
"True. But just deal with it. I get pissed sometimes because you're an asshole but just deal with it," I say casually, "I was given responsibility over you by Soul Society and I don't plan to neglect my duties, so deal with it. End of story."
"Hmpf..." he grunts, shoving his hands into his pockets again. Like a sulking child, he continues to walk towards my place. I roll my eyes but follow quickly.
"Grimmjow."
He turns his head when I don't continue what I'm about to say. "What?" he asks annoyed.
"You're not working under Aizen anymore. We're not enemies anymore either, remember? So don't be so frustrated with yourself just because you're in my house and using my stuff. I understand that you don't like me but yeah... there's nothing we can do about that."
I continue my pace even when he slows down.
"Kurosaki..." he mutters quietly, "I don't know what happened tonight."
His confession is honest. I guess this must be an Espada's way to apologize. Grimmjow's way to apologize. I wave it away with a cold hand. "Don't worry about it. Let's go home."
"Yeah," Grimmjow murmurs.
I'm tempted to smile. "Home, right? I said home. Can you deal with that?" I tease.
"Yeah, yeah," he grunts. "Asshole."
Thank you so much for the positive feedback, the reviews and adds. Please feel free to be critical as the story goes on. If you have suggestions, ideas, things you'd really like to see written, etc. don't hesitate to include them in a review!
I'm sorry for taking longer to update but the academic year has started again and I've got a load of work and training ahead of me.
I don't really like this chapter.