England was surprised to say the least. He hadn't expected to see America at the bar. Really, he hadn't expected to see America at all, with Canada stealing his visibility and such. Yet here he was, trudging blindly to the counter and putting forth a great amount of effort to heave himself onto a stool. He looked absolutely exhausted.

"Bloody hell, America," England greeted him. "What happened to you?"

"Hey England," America mumbled. He signaled the bar tender for a drink, he didn't really care which one. They were all in Italian, and that was Greek to him.

"Answer my question," England insisted, sipping his own beverage.

"Lay off, old man," America told him weakly.

He may not have been the best father, especially near the end, but England knew about affairs of the heart. Well, for all the hearts that weren't his own. Or France's. That one was still confusing as hell.

"Are you in a lover's spat?" England asked, nudging America's arm.

"No!" America replied quickly. He was already embarrassed. "Well, we're not lovers... He probably hates me now."

England's eyes widened. "Pre-relationship drama? Who is it, pray tell?"

America fumbled with his glasses, feeling a little flustered. He had come here to get away from his troubles. "He's the one I told you about before," America admitted.

England blinked. "You've never mentioned anyone."

"At Mickey D's, don't you remember?" America smiled a little. "You really are going senile!"

"I am not!" England protested. "Though now that you say that, I remember I was trying to sell you a love charm of some kind. Never bought it, in the end. Give a bloke a hint?"

"He's ah, um," America tugged on his collar and coughed awkwardly. "A diamond in the ruff, I guess you could say."

"Aladdin's not real, America."

"Shut up! Neither is The Doctor!"

"Enough of that," England cut him off. He didn't want to get into a battle of the pop cultures. "Is he a nation?"

America nodded.

"Good," England approved. "Getting romantically involved with humans never ends well. Professionally is key."

America rolled his eyes, downing the rest of his drink and signaling for a refill.

"He's... kind of the complete opposite of me," America admitted. His lips turned up at the corners, thinking of his secret crush.

"It's Canada, isn't it."

"Holy hamburger patties!" America flinched so hard he almost fell to the floor. "How did you know?"

"America," England sighed, running a hand through his spiky blonde hair. "Don't patronize me. I know my colonies."

"Know your colonies my-"

"Oi!" England glared. "Don't make me take away your BBC America."

"Hrmf."

"So," England continued, all business-like. "What did you do to upset him?"

"I-" America looked up at the ceiling like it was a cheat sheet on a calculus test. "I told him."

"Told him what?" England was acting thick to make him say it.

"How I feel about him," America said grudgingly and finished his glass.

England whistled. "And how did he take it?"

America slumped down on the table.

"That bad, huh?" England assessed.

"Well," America said with half his face being squashed by the table top, "it's more like he didn't react at all. I kinda, um, I sort of..."

"Out with it, you git."

"I kissed him." America hid his face with his hands.

England slammed his both his hands down on the counter, knocking over his glass. "Idiot! You have no idea how to treat a lady- I mean- Canada!" He accused, pointing a finger.

"Dude, not so loud!" America sat up and made frantic motions with his hands to try to get the Briton to calm down.

"I will not!" England said defiantly. He tripped backwards over the bar stool. Was he really this tipsy already? Luckily America caught him.

"Unhand me, you wanker!" England flailed until he somehow managed to stand on his own. He stumbled toward the doors, turning back to give America a last piece of advice.

"Give Canada some space," he called back. "When he's ready to accept your feelings, he'll come to you."

America waved a hesitant goodbye. He also paid England's tab. That British dude forgot all sorts of important stuff when he was drunk.

Shout out to all you bbc fans. I'm so Johnlocked right now I can't even.

Special thanks to SugarMapleWings99, JulietGivesUp, jackcay101, amoka22, forever.s130, carlyleclangclang-cortes and Epic Hero Laugh. Your reviews are like pop tarts. And that's good. Cuz I like pop tarts.

Thanks for your continued support, everyone!