Oh yeah! Uh-huh! Chapter 10 coming your way!

So a little update on moi. I found a place and I'm moving in uber soon. Like this coming week. Ya no kidding so I'm busy getting everything ready and squeezing as much time as I can into writing. I've also started a few other KevEdd stories but no where near where I want to be with them so I wont be posting them any time soon. Maybe after the move. Anyways chapter 11 is completed and 12 is on its merry way to the editing pile. So how does a thank you to my awesome reviewers sound? Fantubular right?

My special thanks to: Fomalhaut, Evil Edd, canamochi, and GFMCTB !

Ok that's enogh of my rambling mouth. Here's chap 10. Enjoy!

The walk back to Kevin's flat was quiet but tense. Kevin carried the shopping bags in one arm while the other was draped across Eddward's shoulders. The sockhead was puffy eyed and red in the face from his earlier outburst. His face was saturated in wet and dry tear and he could hear him softly sniffle every few feet. Kevin made it a point to keep his body close to Edds, it seemed to be the only thing that stopped the water works. Kevin admittedly wasn't at all that great with comforting other people. Whatever he wanted to say usually fell short of its meaning so he was used to just being the ear to listen or the shoulder to cry on. Giving advice was not his forte but he would try his hardest for the sockhead.

He didn't understand how losing one's virginity could make someone as distraught as it made Edd. When he lost his at the ripe age of way-too-freakin'-young, it had been the best feeling ever. Sure he was nervous like most guys were but in the end it turned out to be the biggest confidence booster that he couldn't get enough of. Watching Edd's reaction however made Kevin realize just how little he knew of the boy. Maybe his virginity meant something to him. It didn't lessen the guilt on the red-head's mind. He wasn't the kind of guy who took things that were precious to others and had he known, things may have played out much differently.

The sex was just that, sex. The act is self was not performed by lovers, just two consenting adults looking for a little temporary fun. He didn't see it as a big deal but then again he wasn't Edd. Maybe he had this fantasy of losing his virginity to someone he loved. Did he have someone to love? He'd have to ask when they sat down to talk.

Kevin let Edd into the house first, giving the sockhead space to adjust to the surroundings. Eddward took small steps into the flat, head down to avoid any kind of eye contact with the red-head. His eyes wandered about the place like he had never stepped foot in it before but the expression on his face spoke volumes of the inner turmoil rampaging in his gut. He looked to the kitchen counter and then to the couch, the places they had been when they let their lustful appetites take over. He especially remembered the sliding glass door. He stepped towards it and pressed his hand to the cool glass. He could just barely make out the outline of finger prints placed directly on both his left and right side, exactly where Kevin had leaned in on him. He stood in the same spot when he looked out upon the beauty of the city night.

It feels so surreal to be here again. He sighed.

He wondered if being here was such a good idea anymore. He was more than certain that he would be haunted by the memory of their night together. The reason he wanted to forget was because he really didn't want to. He wanted to remember how special he felt wrapped up in those two strong arms. Every feather light kiss had burned a trail of need on his skin, evoking sudden and unfamiliar feelings from deep within. It was confusing. He had never before felt so desired nor did he ever crave something so physical in his life.

He sighed again, wondering if giving himself so freely was really such a bad thing. He knew of many others who performed coitus on a near daily basis and took pride in that sort of accomplishment. It wasn't ideal for himself; however, others in his life had glorified their actions as something to be respected. Eddward didn't understand this at all but supposed that 'to each their own'.

In this predicament he would have to decide whether or not what he had done had been worth the anguish he suffered in the aftermath. He broke a promise he had made to himself but was the result of said broken promise not enough to balance out the pros and cons? He thought to himself, eyes glazing over and staring wordlessly out onto the city. He had to carefully consider both sides of the spectrum.

Pro: He got to experience the physical and emotional act of coitus.

Con: It had been with a stranger, someone he knew nothing about.

Pro: It felt so incredibly amazing! Like fire and ice melding together and exploding into a smoky cloud of longing he never perceived before.

Con: They didn't use protection. Neither could be aware of any viruses or disease the other could pass on!

Pro: It was with Kevin

Con: It was with Kevin

His eyes fell closed as he fought back to urge to start sobbing. Why was this so difficult? Why couldn't he just move on like everyone else? He questioned why this had to matter so much. So he broke a promise to himself, big deal. Yet that wasn't the point. It scared him how easily coerced he had been by the red-head. Like a magic spell he had been lured into a sense of wonder and excitement, promised unworldly pleasure by Kevin's experienced hand.

In the past it was easy to say no but now the word rolled sourly on his tongue. It was impractical for Eddward to be acting like this. It was so completely out of his nature. What would his friends and family say about him back home? He was immediately filled with shame.

You're dirty, that wicked voice said. You're a disgusting whore who screwed the first pretty face you saw. Go on, feel sorry for yourself. You're good at that.

Edd forced his gaze from the sliding glass door.

Kevin set the shopping bags down and remained at the threshold of the kitchen. He wanted to give the sockhead some space to think before bringing the subject up. Above all he wanted to do was convince him that there was nothing wrong with what they did. Sex was supposed to be an enjoyable experience that left you wanting more, not hating yourself.

Quietly he made his way across the room to the couch and sat there for a good long while, staring at the blank face of the television. In the reflective glass he saw Edd turn his head to look at the red-head, one arm rubbing the other. Kevin's attention stuck on the boy as he very slowly stepped away from the glass and towards the back of the couch. His head was tilted forward with his chin pressed to his chest. For a moment Kevin worried that he would start crying again but sat in stunned silence when the sockhead instead walked around to sit beside him. There was a comfortable amount of distance between them as Edd perched himself at the very edge of the cushion. Kevin glanced at him through the peripheral of his vision.

"You ready to talk about this?"

Eddward nodded his head slowly.

Kevin rubbed the back of his head and released a heavy sigh. "Ok um, I'm not sure where to start. So just bear with me on this." Edd nodded once more and Kevin continued. "Alright, so I'm going to ask you a couple of questions and you can either answer yes or no. You don't have to go into any sort of detail if you don't want to. Got it?"

Edd nodded again.

The motorcycle enthusiast kicked up his feet on the coffee table, noting the silly little face Edd made as dirt fell onto the clean glass. Messy, messy, messy.

"You are… were a virgin, right?" He corrected himself.

Eddward spoke softly, the word almost catching in his throat. "Affirmative."

Kevin bit his lip as he considered his next question carefully. "Did keeping your virginity mean something special to you? Like, was there someone specific you had in mind?"

Edd became crestfallen and looked away.

"Hey come on. You gotta communicate with me here." Kevin scooted closer to him, lengthening his arm on the back of the couch. He made sure to speak clear and slow, afraid that any power in his voice might break him in his already fragile state. This all seemed rather unnecessary but for whatever insane reason Kevin just didn't feel right leaving things as they were. Not with this kid.

"You can take all the time you need to answer but you need to answer."

Eddward sniffled and rubbed away the tears that started to form in his eyes. "M-my apologies. This subject is a tender one for me. Please forgive me."

Kevin shook his head. "Like I said, take your time. We're in no rush."

Eddward dropped his hands to his lap and stared down at his open palms. Each finger curled until both hands were made into fists. The sight was hardly threatening but the point stood loud and clear; he was angry. Not at Kevin, but at himself.

"Kevin? Have you ever…" he exhaled a shaky breath. "Did you ever feel this way when you first, you know, after you first did it?"

The red-head rubbed his chin and answered honestly. "No. I wanted to lose it." He looked Edd in the eye. "And quite frankly I've never once met a person who didn't want to."

Edd snapped his head up, regretting it almost instantly as his eyes locked with those blasted mirror sunglasses. Instead of those lovely green eyes all Eddward could see was the reflection of his tear stained face. It disgusted him. He was a grown man for goodness sake and here he was on the verge of blubbering like a little girl. He could only imagine how lame he looked in Kevin's eyes. It was outright embarrassing.

"Oh." Edd looked away.

"That isn't to say that's a bad thing."

Edd's brows drew together in confusion and Kevin explained. "Losing your virginity doesn't necessarily mean that it's bad or that you are bad for it. It's meeting human physical needs. It's what our race is programmed to do." He shrugged. "I won't lie and say that I am sorry for what we did. It was amazing. The best sex I ever had." He watched the emotions that flittered across Edd's face and swallowed hard behind an apologetic grin. "But I will say I'm sorry for not having the forethought of asking you. But you gotta realize that when you didn't push me away I took that as a sign that this was what you wanted. Was it?"

"Was it what?" Edd asked softly.

"Was the sex what you wanted?"

Eddward's cheeked flared and he averted his gaze. "I uh… the se-… that is it felt… it was…" He stumbled over his words and mentally chastised himself for it. That three letter word felt taboo on his tongue and his cheeks turned a bright shade of red when he attempted to say it. He felt silly for reacting this way but shy about it none the less.

He pressed a palm into his face, sighing in frustration.

"Just yes or no will do." Kevin offered.

Eddward inhaled, feeling the palpitations of his heart against his ribcage. "Y-yes." He glanced across the room to stare at the blank TV. "But how do I know it was something I truly desired and not just a moment of weakness procured by a single night of passion?"

Kevin's smile fell and he pursed his lips. "That is going to have to be something you figure out on your own. It's up to you to decide whether or not it was worth losing or getting upset over."

Pressing his fingers to his lips the sockhead pondered on that statement. He wasn't sure enough time had passed for a proper conclusion to be made. "At this moment I am unsure." He said.

As a child he had been told never to let someone take advantage of him through means of the mind or the body. He was told to cherish his innocence. Purity is envied in this modern world of depravity, he was once told.

Kevin scratched the side of his head and peeked over at the time on his cable box. This conversation was going nowhere fast. He was going to have to take another approach to this.

"Here are a few questions for you to think about then."

He looked to Edd and met his gaze, tipping his glasses to the end of his nose so that their eyes could meet. Shiny chrome blue met with smoldering green and Edd felt his heart skip a beat at the very sight of them.

Curse his charm and curse myself for falling for it.

"Was your first experience worth losing to someone like me?" Before Edd could answer Kevin pressed his finger to his mouth, effectively silencing the boy. His lips… they feel so soft. "And do you truly and honestly regret your decision?"

Kevin's eyes searched Edd's, peering deeply into those lovely blue orbs for any sign of doubt but all he saw was fear and confusion. He was not at all ashamed of himself and he thought Edd shouldn't be either. His arm fell down around the boy's shoulders pulling the raven haired boy against his chest. He rested his chin on Edd's head, glancing in another direction when the sockhead didn't immediately move away. Well, at least he wasn't crying anymore.

"You really shouldn't be afraid of this." Kevin said looking down at him. "You want my opinion?"

Eddward shook his head no.

"Well I'm going to give it anyways." He said, and Edd resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "You should be proud. I mean, take pride in the knowledge that you got to do me of all people. Wouldn't you do me again? I'd do me again. I'd do me again and again and again."

Eddward's lip started to tremble, the corners of his mouth tilting upwards. How pig headed of him.

"No response? Oh, I see how it is." Kevin lifted his arm from Edd and grinned like an idiot at the silly expression on the kid's face. "Guess I just wasn't good enough."

Edd snapped his head up, grabbing the front of Kevin's jacket. "Oh no! No, I didn't mean it like that. You were fantastic. Amazing! I never felt so good before. I just…" His cheeks flushed crimson, his confession stumbling over itself. Why was it so hard to say such things when looking into those eyes?

Kevin dropped his arm back down around the sockhead and pressed their foreheads together. A smile was on his face while the beginnings of one started on Edd's. "You see, I don't think you really hated it. You just think too much."

Edd wanted to look away but he couldn't. Those eyes… He was falling fast into their emerald depths. Inexplicably he wanted to be closer. "N-no I don't." His voice hardly carried any authority in it.

His eyes fell to the red-head's lips. He remembered how pliable they were to his own. What if he… NO! Edddard Vincent you steer clear of those thoughts this instant. Its actions like these that have gotten you into this position in the first place. Oh right, this position; right in front of Kevin… chest to chest and inches from those soft kissable lips. Oh my. This experience has turned me into a lust driven fool hasn't it?

"Yes. You do." Kevin smirked. "I can see it on your cute little face." Wrapping his arm securely around Eddward's shoulders the red-head adjusted himself before falling flat on the couch cushions, pulling Edd down with him.

The sock head gasped, his face turning beet red. "K-Kevin!"

"Just relax." He said, tucking Edd under his arm. "Close your eyes and breath." Kevin did just that, inhaling the familiar aroma of home into his lungs. With it came Edd's sweet honey scent. It was a rather interesting mix of smells, the likes of which he didn't mind it at all. Actually he could get used to this.

Edd shook his head. "No I couldn't possibly do this so close to you. Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant to say was the proximity of ourselves in such a position while deep in discussion over-"

"You're doing it again." Kevin cracked opened one eye. "Close 'em shut." He waited until Eddward did as he said but the sockhead crossed his arms and huffed defiantly. So damn cute.

"I shall do no such thing."

Kevin smirked. "Close your eyes."

"No."

Kevin raised a taunting brow. "Could it be that you just don't know how?" The look on the sockhead's face was priceless.

Edd's jaw fell opened into a perfect 'o'. The impertinence!

Eddward huffed but relented. Kevin's smirk grew into a full blown grin. "Good. Now breath." Edd took a quick breath.

"Smartass." He swatted Edd's head with a snort. "Slowly inhale, count to three, and then exhale."

Eddward stuck his tongue out childishly and he pouted. "I fail to see the productive nature in this."

"Well you never will if you don't just give it a chance."

Ok folks so there was chap. 10 Let me know what you guys think. (Reviews are like crack and momma needs her fix!) Ciao :)