So this is what it's like to say goodbye.
Disclaimer: I only own any character you aren't familiar with, as well as the plot. End of discussion.
Layla spots the most unlikeliest person at the cemetery, and is resolute to find out why. When she does, she wasn't expected to be warped into this whole mess. This whole story. Why is the deceased Crystal Skye determined to make Layla know?
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-Past-
"…Right when I kissed her, too, fireworks were just like burff!" His hands flew wildly into the air with his vocal explosion, and I couldn't help but giggle. "Goin' off everywhere - total cliché -" His voice softened. "But I loved it. Felt right."
"And it was right." I whispered, seeing such a happy face become so dark and guarded once more.
He nodded. "Yeah. It was."
I took a moment to stare at him again. I realized something that he hasn't said. Well, he couldn't - it wouldn't have been able to reach his mind. It was the fact that Lash didn't have two-sides to him. It developed as he came to know Crystal. When he first saw her.
He fell in love - hard.
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I guess after saving someone, and revealing half of your life to them as they did to you - it's a bit hard to ignore them in the halls like they're just another person. Another bully, with a second opinion on life, love, and sacrifices.
Before he turned into a classroom after lunch, I gave him a little wave, a smile. Lash merely nodded his head, tossing his hand into the air in an awkward way, looking towards Will. I guessed that maybe he was waiting for my boyfriend to look away to notice my presence. And as I looked to him, I saw him in a deep conversation with Warren over a Mad Science exam coming soon. It's a bit safe for the lanky one to respond. When I finally turned my eyes back to Lash, he gave me a sincere smile, tapping the doorframe to step inside the room at last.
Even after so many times I've seen that smile, it still didn't look so natural. Lash wasn't the social type of person to smile. Not unless he was with friends. Did that mean I could be? Was I a friend of Lash Livingston? I shook my head. No, not really. I mean if I was, he wouldn't wait for Will to look away.
And I guess I benefit from that. 'Cause I'm not exactly sure I'd want Lash to be one to be close to. I still haven't warmed up to him so well. And would I ever? Would I want to?
--
We sat next to each other, our legs crossed, but we weren't talking. The only things we could hear were the rustling of trees, bird calls, and our breathing.
"She never…" Lash whispered, tossing his hands to his knees and rubbing softly. His silent moves were comforting, so I edged myself closer to him, and decided to stare intently at the stone. "She never made it seem like life was hard."
I smiled.
"She would just -" He looked towards me, and flipped his hand over slowly. "She would take my hand -" He reached over with his left to hold my right. Fingers warm, I tried to listen. "And tell me that nothing was ever truly over, even when you would say it was. She had told me that nobody's perfect - but I always told her that she was. She was perfect."
This time I rolled my eyes - but I noticed my smile hadn't left. I began to stroke his slender fingers, shaking my head at the ground. "Crystal wasn't perfect, Lash. No one is. She was right."
He disagreed, and pulled my hand closer to him, now playing with my tips. "No, not exactly. She may have been right, but I stuck to my words when I told her she was. There's always that one perfect person for another. Just for them. Sure, to anyone else, they could see their imperfections, but to that one person, and in this case, me, I never saw them. I only saw her."
My head rested against his shoulder as I stared the picture of Crystal down. The girl was so wise. And she had let me see the real Lash. His thinking went deep. And he thought nothing of my head on his body, considering the fact that he rested his own lightly upon mine.
But what now?
For what seemed like the next half hour, we sat, just like that, silent. I finally realized why the surrounding trees had lived in silence all their lives. It was like we didn't need words anymore.
Lash's shoulder twitched, and I lifted my face to give him a questionable look. He looked like he was debating on something, but that only started to float through my mind once his head lowered. And stopped. Lowered closer to me, but then backed up. And then he lowered once more. Stopped.
His movements were so unsure, I felt bad for a split .2 seconds, for he pressed his lips against mine - and all I could think of was Will. This was unintentional cheating right? Oh, God. What was happening?
Quickly leaning back, I watched Lash almost have a faceplant into my lap - but he caught himself just before. He stood up, and looked to the stone, to me, and then closed his eyes. "I gotta get home."
And he was off.
That's it? Not even an 'I'm sorry'? Not an 'oops my lips fell on yours' type of thing? Ugh, just when I thought I had him figured out, he pulls this crap. Ehhh, this is definitely not my day.
I could almost see Crystal give me a sympathetic smile as I fell over, a pout on my mouth. Almost as if she were saying sorry for Lash.
I'll get over this. I know I will. Crystal did too.
--
Lash didn't go to school for a whole week. Now, the first day, I just thought he might have been trying to recover over his move at the graveyard. But when Thursday came and he hadn't shown up, Speed started to look weary. Like he didn't have an idea, either. When I noticed this, I cornered him. I had to find out.
"Why the hell would a hippie want to know what Lash is up to?" His face lit up with an idea - and I knew it was going the wrong way. "You're cheatin' on Stronghold with Lash, aren't you?"
"No." I muttered darkly. "That's ridiculous. Now tell me." Slowly, with a tight mouth, Speed pulled out his cellphone, going to his messages. He looked to me, and then placed the phone in my hands, giving me a glare that told me that if I ran, I was dead.
I held my breath as I looked through his inbox messages.
Don't come looking.
Stop asking where I am.
No - don't bother coming over - I'm not there.
Cemetery - tell redhead. She understands.
Speed, I'm gone. Leave it alone.
I'm not coming back.
Gasping, I nearly dropped the cellphone to the floor as I gripped my things to run off. Lash wasn't coming back - to Sky High? Maxville? Oh great. This is going to kill me if I don't find out. I just know it.
--
Coming here is like going home nowadays. I just keep showing up every other day.
I gave a weak wave to the family of stones, and sighed, turning into Crystal's general area. Blinking, I paused my steps, seeing what was there. No, it wasn't Lash.
Even though I hoped it would be.
Two large bouquets. One to the left of her grave, her favorite flowers in their reasonable-sized vase. I smiled - Lash had been here. Very recently.
But to the right, was nothing ever found on her resting place of all this time I've spent here. And from what I learned, one of Crystal's least favorite flowers. I could only laugh - for they were my own.
Roses.
"Oh, Lash. How you would remember such an insignificant detail is beyond me." I whispered, cracking my knees as I crouched down, reaching out to touch the soft red petals of one. And that's when I noticed a pale blue envelope, wedged into half of the soil in the rose's pot.
My eyebrows furrowed as I grasped a corner, slowly pulling it out and tilting my head at what was written on the front. Not a name, but a letter.
L.
Setting my things down, I brushed a hand through my hair, gulping to myself. This was to me.
Biting my lip, I held my breath as I ripped it open.
It's hard enough to think about what to write when life's so much more complicating than it used to be. I became a coward, and far too quickly than I expected. The day I kissed you, Layla, I was debating on leaving Maxville. And when I did kiss you, I knew I wasn't sorry. I still am not. I had to decide on staying or going, and I realized you were the key. I couldn't stay, because then I'd fall for you just as hard as I did for Crystal - you have that…thing about you that I let in. I couldn't stay, because you're with Stronghold and you're completely content with that. And I can't stay because I know that I'll still be attached to her.
So I left.
I'm not coming back - and I know you'll want to come looking for me. Don't. Resist the urge, Hippie. I don't want to see you become lost.
Call me a coward. A hypocrite, if that goes better to describe me. I don't know. Because I know I'll never let her go - and I know that just disappointing you will make me sick to my stomach, but I think it'd be better if I just got away from all that, and marvel in silence.
Now - here's where I know you'll take it the wrong way. Layla I'm going to try and forget everyone. You, Crystal, my boy Speed. Got to forget and start over. I won't try to kill myself again, though. We're okay there.
Goddamn. I feel like a psychopathic idiot, doing this - thinking these things. But I needed to leave Maxville for good, before I was on the verge of trying to ruin something really great.
Crystal's gone - and I blame myself. You're still here, and you best stay here. Make Stronghold change the fuses during a storm. Maybe - forget it. Just stay safe.
I know I've made a grave mistake by leaving, by choosing to never come back - but I'll live through it.
I'll miss you, Layla. Maybe one day we'll see each other and try to start over.
Lash.
Closing my eyes, my fist formed over the letter. And I cried. He's made the biggest mistake of his life and he's accepted it.
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Fin.
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