Chapter Ten: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
When the Pit started to grow quiet, we finally dispersed. All of us had early mornings and we all needed the sleep, though in my case, I was simply eager to be joined by Eric. Since we weren't having sex, we were actually starting to talk about things. It was nice and had, by far, become my favorite part of my day. Opening the door, my apartment was empty. Taking a long shower, I had hoped to waste enough time till he arrived but the room was still quiet. Sighing, I took out my sketchbook, starting to doodle random things. When he still wasn't there, I decided that I needed to sleep, lying down, I had just started to drift off when the door opened. Turning toward it, I watched Eric undress, pulling the covers back before he laid next to me.
"I was worried you wouldn't come." I told him putting my hand against his chest. He rolled over, meeting my eyes, a frown on his face. "What is it?" I asked him, running my hand up to his face. He leaned in, kissing me deeply. "Baby?" I frowned. He remained silent. "Okay, Eric, come on, say something to me."
"I used to love my role here in Dauntless." He frowned.
"What changed?" I frowned back at him. "You seemed perfectly in character earlier."
"That's just it, Pen. It's a character. I'm a pawn."
Softening my expression, I kissed him. "And this is the real you?"
"I want it to be." He said putting his hand against my face.
"But?"
He just looked at me before his expression softened. "Nothing. I'm just thinking."
"You can tell me, you know." I told him, kissing him sweetly.
"I know." He nodded. "But not yet. We've got a lot on our plates already."
"If you need to lighten your load, my plates got room." I told him.
He smiled, kissing me, "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Alright, tell me what you think of the new bunch." He said, pulling me against his chest.
Smiling, I told him what I thought, lulling him to sleep as I spoke, trailing my nails up and down his back. As soon as he was sleeping, I couldn't help the frown that crossed my face. I knew that his actions were preapproved by Jeanine and Max, and that he didn't have a choice. I should be careful with what I say and what I asked him. If I started to learn too much than I'd be putting a target on my back. One that he would probably have to put a bullet through. I didn't think he would ever hurt me, not if he didn't have to. But I might be giving him far more credit than he deserves.
Come morning, Eric was still sleeping soundly. It was still early but I couldn't sleep anymore. I hardly slept as it was and if I fell asleep now I would probably oversleep and then Four would be pissed. Making my way through Dauntless, I came out at street level, starting a slow jog around the building. We'd be spending most of our time outside as is but I needed to have time to calm my thoughts. I hated seeing him torn. But I also knew that when I saw him today his switch would be flipped and I'd have to deal with the ruthless, unfeeling Eric that Dauntless knew and hated. I just wished he could always be the Eric I had grown to care about. The one that knew every one of my ticklish spots and the spots that if he put just enough pressure would send a shiver through me. He had memorized my body, just as I had memorized his. I just wished we knew each other's minds just as well.
"Morning." I told Four as I entered the training room.
"Morning." He replied. "You ready?"
I grinned at him, "Oh, yeah." Before long the initiates arrived, grouping together outside the door. "Follow us." I told them, leading them up to the roof where the gun training would take place. "Line it up."
Four paced in front of them for a few long minutes, gauging them. When he spoke it was with all the authority he had, which was far more impressive than one might think. "The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." Four pressed a gun into each of their palms. "Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that."
It was fun to see their expressions as they realized that there would be no coddling here. There would be no hand holding and no classroom to explain what being Dauntless meant. There was only action and learning from experience. This was going to be interesting. Having been where they were, it was weird seeing it from this side.
"Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time. We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear." Four explained to them. "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."
"But what…" Peter yawned through his words. "What does firing a gun have to do with…bravery?"
Four's eyes briefly glanced to mine, before he flipped the gun in his hand, pressing the barrel to Peter's forehead, and clicks a bullet into place. I did the same, pressing my gun to the back of his head. Peter froze with his lips parted, the yawn dead in his mouth.
"Wake. Up." Four snapped. An evil smirk crossing my face. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it."
He lowered his gun, while I kept mine at the back of his head. "Show a little respect." I told him. "One wrong move and you are out of the running." Lowering my gun, I stepped back. He was clearly embarrassed, his cheeks red as he glared at Four, glancing over his shoulder at me. I just waved my fingers at him, grinning. I enjoyed it when those from Candor were put on their ass.
"And to answer your question…you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself." Four stopped walking at the end of the row and turned on his heel. "This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me and Pen."
It occurred to me that they had no idea who I was. Stepping through the initiates, slamming my shoulder into Peter's in the process. We faced the wall with the targets on it – one square of plywood with three red circles on it for each of us. We stand with our feet apart, just the way Four had taught me, holding the gun in both hands, and fired. The bang is loud and I can feel their eyes on us, all murmuring as they moved to see the target. There was a hole in the middle of both targets. They all just stood there and stared at us.
"What are you standing there for? Line it up!" I hollered at them. One girl jumped, the gun going off, pain in my arm as it grazed me. Disbelief crossed my face as I looked at her. She was petite with red hair and green eyes. She was slender and shaking like a leaf as I met her eyes. Stepping forward, my fist met her face, snatching the gun from her hands as she fell back. "Take note, if you're afraid to be here and are unable to handle the first hour of initiation, you might as well leave now." Stepping closer to her, I looked down, "What's your name?"
"Terra." She told me.
Nodding, I put my hand out to her. She took it and I hoisted her to her feet. "I suggest you put a little extra time getting rid of your nerves. If something like this happens again I'll kick you out myself. Understand?" She nodded vigorously. Handing her the gun back she was still shaking. Lowering my voice, I gently gripped the wrist of the hand she was holding the gun with. "Calm down. This is not the end of the world."
"Your arm." She stated, pointing to it.
Looking at it, blood was running down my arm. "And?" I frowned at her. "This isn't the first time I've been shot and it won't be the last. Just wait till we start with knives." I told her, smirking. She offered me the smallest of smiles before it disappeared from her face. "I will admit that it was close and being killed by an initiate is not the way I want to go down. Call that your free pass with me. Anything else happens and you'll see a whole different side of me, got it?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
"Now steady yourself." I told her again. Keeping her eyes, she nodded at me. I took a deep breath, gesturing for her to as well. She mirrored me, her shaking slowly stopping until she held the gun with a firm hand. "Good job." I told her. "Fear is the enemy. You need to learn to control it. Sooner rather than later." She nodded again; a determined looked entering her eyes. "Good girl." I smiled.
Stepping through them, I watched Four glare at her as he passed through them as well. "Take your stance!" He yelled at them. "Now fire!" They all pulled the trigger and bullets hit everything though most missed the actual target. "You okay?" He asked.
"It's just a graze wound. Not my first. I'll take care of it when we break for lunch." I replied.
"I can't say that's ever happened before."
"Not on your watch." I smirked at him. "And it was my fault. I probably should have waited till I was behind them before I started yelling at them."
"Probably." He smirked back at me.
"Lesson learned." I added and laughed.
He laughed lightly before the room grew too quiet. The firing had died down. "Reload! You are not leaving here without at least hitting the damn target."
They were lousy shots but there were a couple that showed promise. Edward, an Erudite, picked up on it as if he had been doing it his entire life. He wasn't hard on the eyes either. Peter wasn't horrible, disappointing me since I'd be perfectly happy if he had sucked at it. The others would learn, though I was worried for Myra and Terra. They were weak. I couldn't understand why they chose Dauntless to begin with.
When we broke for lunch, I momentarily left them, going to my apartment to clean myself up. The blood had made enough lines on my arm that it were as if my veins were on the outside of my body. They had dried and now looked rather grotesque. When I walked through the door, Eric was lying on the bed on his stomach. He was still, hugging my pillow underneath him. Smiling, I went to him, running my hand down his head before pressing a kiss against him.
"Baby." I whispered.
He stirred, rolling as he took a breath, letting it out slowly. "Hey." He whispered back. Running my hand up and down his chest, I bent down, kissing him slow and deep. "That's nice."
"Are you okay?" I asked him. "You don't usually nap during the day."
"I didn't sleep well. Especially when you decided to leave so early." He complained.
"I didn't sleep well either. I thought you were asleep when I left so I wasn't about to wake you." I told him.
"I don't expect you to." He said with a hard tone.
"I know." I replied gently, carefully treading since his tone had instantly turned dark. "I was just making un observation."
"I was just looking for a few minutes of sleep." He shot at me.
"Eric, what's going on?" I asked him, starting to feel annoyed. "What's with the attitude?"
"Attitude?" He frowned, sitting up. "I don't have an attitude."
"Then why are you talking to me like I did something wrong?" I frowned back as I stood. "I just walked in here. Into my home."
"Fine." He told me, moving toward the door. "I'll go."
"Fine." I shot back at him.
He was halfway to the door when he turned back, his expression dark. "I'm supposed to be a fucking leader of Dauntless. I'm supposed to show strength and power. Not weakness."
"When did you show weakness?" I frowned, trying to pinpoint where he was going with this.
"Every fucking day! To you!" He yelled, getting in my face.
Laughing, feeling anger boiling, I stood, "And we're back to blaming me. You can leave at any time, Eric. I'm not stopping you."
"You did though." He asked standing. "You did when you asked me to stay so I stayed."
"That was weeks ago!" I yelled at him. "You didn't have to keep staying! You can leave right now!"
"Now you're kicking me out?!" He yelled back.
"If you're going to act like a spoiled child, than yes! I didn't ask you to be here right now. I gave you the option and you seized it. You don't have to come here every night, you do that because you want to."
He laughed, "Because I want to."
"What the hell, Eric?!" I yelled at him. "What is the matter with you?"
"This is all your goddamn fault!"
"Get the fuck out and feel free to not come back. I'm not your girlfriend. You don't have to come back to me." I shot back at him. "I will not be blamed for whatever you've got going on today."
"Whatever." He said and left the room.
"What the hell?" I asked myself, going to the bathroom and forcefully washed the blood from my arm.
It had clotted but I had made some fresh blood start with my angry cleansing. Throwing the rag into the sink, I gripped the sides of it, frustrated with Eric. What the hell had happened today? Has he flipped his switch too much in the short time since the initiates arrived? Had Max said something else to him? Did Jeanine? Four? Jesus…Claude? Going to the Dining Hall, I found Claude and slammed into the seat next to her, ignoring the peas and grabbing several chicken legs, devouring them quickly. I didn't have a lot of time before training recommenced. I was overly eager now for them to start fighting. I needed the release now more than ever.
"What the hell happened to your arm?" Claude asked.
"One of the initiates shot me." I told her.
She burst with laughter, "Seriously?"
I couldn't help but laugh with her, "Seriously. And she's just a little thing. I made her jump and the next thing I knew I was hit."
"Which one?" She asked looking at the table of them.
Looking, they were all at the same table. "The redhead on the end."
"The one that looks like she's about to throw-up?"
Laughing again, I nodded, "That's the one."
"She's cute." Claude stated, now staring.
"Hey, slow down friend. You are not going to go after her." I stated.
"What? Why not?"
"Because she's small and weak. She's never going to make it."
"She will if I help her."
"Claude, its day one. Give her at least a week before you start to corrupt her. For me. Please."
She looked at me and frowned. "Fine. But if I'm not getting anything before then, I'm going after her."
"Be my guest." I smiled. "Shit, it's time already."
"Well, what took you so long?"
"Eric decided to have an attitude." I replied. She frowned up at me. "We fought. You should be happy." I frowned back. She just shrugged and nodded. "Bitch." I said shoving her before starting to move toward Four. "I'm so ready to teach them how to fight."
"Eric looked pissed." He commented.
"I'm pissed too." I replied. "Am I aloud to beat them up on their first day?"
"You already punched one." He smirked.
Frowning, I showed him my arm, "She shot me, remember?"
He laughed, "I do. Come on."
After they had all gathered, we led them to the training room. To them I'm sure it looked huge, with its wood floor that is cracked and creaky and has a large circle painted in the middle. The chalkboard is on the left wall, many were looking at it as if it were foreign to them. Dauntless weren't big on technology, training was always first. But they did stare at it when they realize that their names are on it, alphabetically. They take in the faded black punching bags hanging at three-foot intervals along one wall. They all lined up behind them while Four and I stood in the middle, where they can all see us.
"As I said this morning," Four started, "next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges—which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless. We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other." He told them, giving them a moment to let it sink in. "So I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt."
Four named off a few different punches, demonstrating each one first against the air and then against the punching bag. Eventually it will be against me as well, but they weren't ready for that yet. It was day one and they needed at least a slight chance to learn before they met flesh against flesh. Soon we incorporated kicks as well, though they were all only the basics. The longer we practiced, the more cringing I saw as the bag started to redden their skin. All but a few have little muscle. They would need to work harder in order to insure that they stayed.
All the while Four and I wandered through the crowd of initiates, watching as they repeated the movements over and over again. Stopping here and there to correct them. Edward was kind of amazing, making him the favorite already. He was nice to watch. Peter looked cocky but he still had a long way to go. I watched as Four stopped at Tris, his eyes following her body from head to feet. It wasn't in a lingering, wanting sort of way, but more of a judgement on her build and posture.
"You don't have much muscle." He told her. Which means you're better off using your knees and elbows. You can put more power behind them."
Not really knowing why it bothered me so, my eyes narrowed as he pressed his hand to her stomach. He whispered something to her but I couldn't hear it. When he stepped away from her, I quickly averted my gaze, once again pacing behind the initiates.
"Keep your hands up." I told Terra. "Use your hips as momentum. Twist them and you'll punch harder. You don't have a lot of muscle going for you so try using your elbows or knees." Four had just said the same thing to Tris. If I wanted Terra to stand a chance then she deserved the same advice. Especially since Claude had taken an instant liking to the girl.
When we're finally done for the day, I grabbed two plates of food and went to the parlor. Tori was just finishing up, offering me a warm smile. "Thank god. Last one for right now."
"Good. I can tell you about my first day with the initiates."
"Sounds good to me."
Settling down in the back, I delved into my day, though I was afraid that the most animated part of it was when I told her about Eric. I was still pissed about whatever stick got shoved up his ass. Though she found the part about me getting shot to be as humorous as Claude did.
"I'm sorry, but the best part is still you being shot by an initiate." She laughed.
"Shot?" A voice said making us both jump.
"What are you doing here?" I asked Eric. I didn't say it unkindly, but I was sure he could hear the annoyance in my voice.
"Still in a foul mood?" He asked with a raised brow.
Frowning, moving past annoyed and right to pissed, I stood, Tori gently gripping my wrist. "Me in a foul mood? I'm pretty sure you were the one who put me in a foul mood."
"And we're going to act like a child about it?" He shot at me.
"Again with the fact that I didn't ask you to be here. You came of your own accord."
"Pen." He said with an authoritative tone.
"No, Eric." I shot at him. "I'm not the one in need of an attitude adjustment. I haven't done anything to deserve it. If you're still going to act like the Eric everyone knows and hates, you should just go." He clenched his jaw but did as we was told, spinning and quickly leaving. "Seriously." I said turning back to Tori. She was smiling at me. "What?" I shot at her.
"Nothing." She smiled. "It's just that you've spent so much time defending him that it's nice to see you not giving in to him."
Raising a brow, I smiled down at her, "I'm not blinded by love, you know. And we fight more now that I'm not sleeping with him than we ever did before."
"That's called sexual frustration." She nodded at me.
Laughing, I shoved her. The new initiates were starting to filter in and out. Al, the big guy from Candor. He was too gentle to be here. He was the tallest and broadest of the initiates, with extremely dark brown eyes and bushy eyebrows. He looked older than sixteen but his kind face and clumsy ways made me worry for his place amongst us. Especially when I saw Bud tattooing a spider on his arm.
"You could have attempted to be original." I smirked at him.
"Pen." He said tensing at my presence.
"Relax." I frowned at him. "Training is done for the day. What do you think I'm going to do?"
"Do you work here?" Christina asked as she, Tris, and Will appeared.
"I do." I nodded. "I'm by far the best tattoo artist in this faction."
"You are from Amity." Tris stated.
Smiling, I attempted not to lose my temper with her. Her tone hadn't been in answering a question, it sounded almost like a judgment. For a moment I took in her new appearance. A knee-length black dress, eyeliner, and her hair was down in waves over her shoulder. It wasn't much, but it did the trick. If she wanted to fit in with us than I would treat her like one us. "And you're from Abnegation. I'm happy you left though." I told her. "I'll enjoy kicking your ass into submission. Remember, I have to report to others on how your training is going. Do you really want to piss me off on the first day?"
"I'm sorry." She said quickly.
Stepping closer to her, I crossed my arms. "I like that you have balls, Tris. They'll serve you well. I understand that you've never been able to be yourself until now. However, I will not tolerate any insubordination. You are not a member of Dauntless yet, which will save you for now. However, keep up this attitude with me and you will never make it to stage two. Am I clear?"
"I'm sorry." She repeated. "I really didn't mean anything by it."
"I hope not. I don't want to hate you, Tris." I told her with a smirk. "Especially not after the first day. My respect lost once is very hard to get back. You're the first jumper that earned you some points. It'd be wise of you not to ruin that so quickly."
"I understand." She told me.
I nodded, giving her the cue that she could walk away. She moved away from me, looking at the artwork that littered the walls, glancing at me every now and again. At least half of it or more was mine, making me hope she didn't pick one that was created by my own hand. Tori met my eyes, and I nodded at her with a clenched jaw. She nodded back, moving toward Tris.
"So, who else wants a tattoo?" I asked looking at Christina and Will.
It seemed like everyone was eager to brand their skin to make them more Dauntless. But it was fun talking to Christina and Will on a one on one basis. Christina was full of life, witty, and eager to please. She reminded me so much of Claude it was ridiculous. Then it occurred to me that they may actually know each other.
"Do you remember Claude Carpenter?" I asked her.
"Um, no, I don't think so. Was she Candor?"
"She was." I smiled. "Only now she is more Dauntless than the ones who are born into it."
"Best friend?" Will smiled.
"Beyond measure." I told him. "There's always a few you really bond with. If it's your competitiveness or your strengths or your weaknesses…there's always a few that you can never quite shake, that stick with you until the end."
"Hey." Henry said stepping up to me, pressing a kiss against my cheek, "Don't get too attached yet." He whispered in my ear.
"Guys, this is Henry. Dauntless-born and initiated the same year as me." I told them.
"Hello, Henry." Christina said eyeing him up and down.
He just grinned down at her, "Take a good look because it's never going to happen."
She immediately blushed while Will and I laughed at her. Henry winked at me. "What's up?" I asked him.
"Party time." He grinned. "And I was sure to get the good stuff."
I smiled up at him, "And this is why I love you."
"Yes, it has nothing to do with my amazing good looks and my charming personality." He said before leaving, being sure to annoy Tori on the way out.
Laughing, I shook my head before growing serious again, pointing my finger at them. "Never piss him off." I told them. "And I am completely serious. He is exactly what you just saw unless you piss him off and then you might as well run and hide and pray to god that he doesn't find you."
They both looked a little afraid. "Okay." They said in unison.
"Good." I smiled. "I'm kinda like that too but I'm more bark than bite. But if you ever do get physical with me, remember, I trained with Henry and he could kill." They were pretty quiet while I finished up their tattoos. They waited for Tris to be done and then they all took their leave. Stepping up to Tori, I crossed my arms. "Well?"
"She's Divergent." She replied softly. "And wants to talk."
"You said no right?" I frowned at her. "It's not safe for anyone. Plus you already have an obnoxious Divergent to keep you busy. Me."
She laughed, "So true. Now come on, I heard Henry say he got the good stuff."
After an evening of drinking and dancing, I was feeling pretty good when I made my way to my apartment. All in all it had been a decent day. For training at least. Nothing too horrible had happened and even though my arm stung whenever I made the wound on my arm crack, I was still excited about watching them grow and find themselves. Helping where I could, knowing that not all would make it to member status. But the whole experience was still fresh enough in my mind that I could help those who held promise. Or those that I felt deserved it. Since I'd already picked out the few I would do the absolute minimum for, that left plenty of others that would learn more by simply being a decent human being.
Opening the door to my home, I switched on a light to see Eric in my bed. He woke and turned to look at me. I grabbed clean clothes and went to the bathroom, taking a quick shower, spending extra time in front of the mirror, not feeling like going back out there just yet. Taking myself in, I was starting to look normal again, my most recent wounds fading. Sighing, unable to avoid him forever, I went out to see him sleeping, or at least appearing to be asleep. Shutting off the lights, I crawled into bed. Laying on my side, facing the edge of the bed, I didn't want to look at him, let alone touch him. Shutting my eyes, I was just starting to drift off when I felt his fingers against my back. Shrugging away from his touch, he sighed, rolling over so we were back to back. Feeling proud of myself for not forgiving him by him merely touching me, I fell asleep with a small smile on my lips.
When morning came, he was already gone. Running my hand along his side of the bed, it was still warm. I hadn't heard the door so it made me wonder if he was in the bathroom. Deciding that I didn't care, I laid there attempting to doze. When that failed, I finally got up and went to the bathroom. Sure enough, he was there, gripping the edge of the sink, his head bowed. Taking a few steps toward him, I saw the subtle shaking, his knuckles white. All my anger toward him melted away, leaving just a hint of annoyance waiting in the wings, just in case he wanted to go at it.
Stepping up to him, I gently put my hands against his back, running them across him as I wrapped my arms around him. For a moment he put his arm across mine, only then he turned and slammed me against the wall. He met my eyes with a look he'd never given me before. It wasn't anger or confusion or fear. It was almost as if he was completely empty. For the first time in a long time I actually felt a little afraid of him.
"Eric." I said raising my fingers to his face. "Where are you?" He released me, punching the wall before he left the room. Taking a steadying breath, I followed him, watching as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Eric, talk to me." I said gently. He sat looking at the blood from where his knuckles had broken open. Flinching, I looked at my arm, seeing red starting to move down my arm from the graze wound. Tentatively kneeling in front of him, I put my hands on his knees. "Baby, please just talk to me. It's like you're a completely different person since the initiates came and they just got here. You flipped your switch so fast and now I'm the one spinning. So tell me what's going on. Did someone say something to you? Did Max come down on you? What happened? Please, Eric." He wouldn't even meet my eyes. Taking his head in my hands, I made him. "Eric, tell me what's wrong. Tell me what happened. Please, baby."
"I have to go." He said swiftly putting his shirt on.
"No, Eric." I said gripping his arm, yanking on him so he would turn toward me. "You're being an asshole. Why?" He clenched his jaw, meeting my eyes. "Eric."
"I have to go." He repeated and left.
"Eric, don't –" I started but he was already gone.
Getting dressed, I went to get breakfast, sitting next to Claude and Henry, picking at my muffin without eating any of it. Soon it was just crumbs sitting in front of me. They had already picked up on my mood but were nice enough to not ask about it. Not that there was anything to tell. I had no idea what was going on. Without having eaten a bite, I stood and moved away from them, not having said as word to them since I sat down.
"You look like hell." Four told me when I walked in.
"I'm grumpy." I replied.
"Wanna talk about it?" He asked. I shot him a glare. "Okay, never mind." I just sighed and rolled my neck and shoulders. "You can spar with them today if you'd like. They'll be fighting each other but in between I'm sure they'd appreciate your help."
"I'll probably hurt them."
"What's the deal, Opie?" He asked. I just shrugged at him. "Opie."
"There is nothing to tell you because I myself don't even know." I replied with annoyance.
"Is this an Eric thing?" He asked with furrowed brows.
"Yeah." I told him bowing my head.
"Speak of the devil." He replied, watching as Eric walked toward us.
He had an evil smirk on his face. "I'll be watching the new initiates today."
"Glad to have you here." Four retorted with obvious sarcasm. "Pen." He said taking my hand and leading me away from our leader. Soon the initiates came and made an arch around us as we stood by the chalkboard. "Since there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today." Four told them, stepping away from the board in the training room. He gave Tris a look. The space next to her name is blank. "Get moving, Will and Al, you're up."
Will and Al moved to the arena, standing across from each other. They put their hands up by their faces to protect themselves, as Four had taught them, and shuffled in a circle around each other. Al stood half a foot taller than Will, and twice as broad. Everything about Al is big, making him look menacing but he's too afraid to use his natural assets to his advantage.
"Get a move on it." I called out to them. If this is what Eric was here for I wanted it done and him gone as soon as possible.
Watching as Al punched Will hard in the jaw, I see Eric smirk from across the room. He glanced at me and I quickly averted my eyes. Paying attention to what was happening in the arena, I watched as Will stumbled to the side, one hand pressed to his face, and blocked Al's next punch with his free hand. Judging by his grimace, he's just learned that blocking punches can be just as painful as a blow would have been. Al may be slow, but he's powerful. If only he took advantage of it.
They faced each other for a few more seconds, more hesitant than they were before. It took all of me not to encourage them in some way. They needed to get it over with. Will flicked his pale hair from his eyes. They glanced at Four like they're waiting for him to call the fight off, but he stood with his arms folded, giving no response. Then they look to me on the opposite side, hoping I would give something away. I raised a brow at them, Will seemed to understand but Al looked more confused than ever. And then I watch Eric check his watch.
After a few seconds of circling, Eric shouted at them, "Do you think this is a leisure activity? Should we break for nap-time? Fight each other!"
"But…" Al straightened, letting his hands down, and replied, "Is it scored or something? When does the fight end?"
"It ends when one of you is unable to continue." Eric told him with annoyance.
"According to Dauntless rules," Four added, "one of you could also concede."
Eric narrowed his eyes at Four. "According to the old rules. In the new rules, no one concedes."
"A brave man acknowledges the strength of others." Four replied.
"A brave man never surrenders."
They stare off for a few seconds, enough for my annoyance to spike. "Are we here for a pissing contest?" I shot across the arena at them. "Because I thought we were here to teach these initiates how to fight. I'm all for watching them beat the shit out each other, but they don't need to see you two squaring off. So either take it outside or shut the hell up." All eyes were now on me. I had just overstepped my bounds and I knew it. Both Four and Eric looked at me with anger. It was like good and evil were attempting to win and I just didn't want to deal with it. "Boys, get on with it." I told Will and Al. "You heard him. No conceding. If you want it to end, take a hit. Only that will also reflect on your scores. So decide and act. We don't have all day." Al wiped sweat from his forehead. He was starting to freak out. "Al." I said. "Reign it in and get on with it."
"This is ridiculous." Al said as he shook his head. "What's the point of beating him up? We're in the same faction!"
"Oh, you think it's going to be that easy?" Will asked with a grin. "Go on. Try to hit me, slowpoke."
"That's the spirit. Come on, Will." I said shifting, keeping my eyes on them so I wouldn't look at my best friend and at this point I was pretty sure my ex-lover.
Will put his hands up again and I can tell that now he wants it. He's finally showing determination. Al tries a punch, and Will ducked underneath it, the back of his neck shining with sweat. He dodged another punch, slipping around Al and kicking him hard in the back. Al lurched forward and turned. He charged at Will, grabbing his arm so he can't slip away, and punched him hard in the jaw. I had to flinch at the sound of it. Will's eyes dimmed, rolled back into his head and all the tension from his body fell away. He slipped from Al's grasp, dead weight, and crumpled to the floor. Al's eyes widened, and he crouches next to Will, tapping his cheek with one hand. The room fell silent as they waited for Will to respond. Moving to him, I knelt at his side, checking his vitals and such as I took his arm out from underneath him. For a few seconds, nothing happened, but then he blinked, looking at me with a dazed expression.
"Having fun yet?" I smiled at him.
"Get him up." Eric ordered. He had an odd expression on his face. Like a vulture circling its next meal. Four turned to the chalkboard and circled Al's name. Victory. "Next up—Molly and Christina!"
I frowned at him, helping Al get Will onto his feet, draping his arms across our shoulders as he removed him from the arena. Christina cracked her knuckles as she stepped into the arena. Molly had already earned the nickname "The Tank" and it fit. She was large and broad where Christina was narrow but tall. She could win if she set her mind to it. But these teenagers were new to this. They'd never fought anyone before and now they were forced to face off and bring each other down. It wasn't a fun feeling.
Four stepped up to me, taking Will round his waist. "Keep an eye on them. And don't let Eric do anything stupid." He told me softly.
I nodded at him, smiling, "I've got this."
"Don't let him get to you." He added before he was gone.
Turning my focus back to the arena, Christina tucked her hair behind her ears before cracking another knuckle. She was trying to act tough but the only thing I saw was nerves. After watching what happened to Will, I was sure she wasn't overly eager to take on someone larger and more powerful than she was.
Though Christina proved to be a fighter, making the first move as she kicked Molly in the side, causing her to gasp and grit her teeth as if a snarl was going to escape her. A strand of hair falls in her face and she doesn't even bother to brush it away. The beast in her was about to be released. Taking a step closer, I crossed my arms, ready to spring if I had to, to stop anything catastrophic from happening. Glancing at Eric, he was staring at me, a hard expression on his face. Trying to glare, I couldn't manage anything more than a pained expression.
Blinking repeatedly, I turned my attention back to the fight at hand where Molly was smirking at Christina, and without warning, dove, hands outstretched, at Christina's midsection. She hit her hard, knocking her down, and pinned her to the ground. Christina thrashed, but Molly is heavy and didn't budge.
She punched, and Christina moved her head out of the way, but Molly just punches again, and again, until her fist hits Christina's jaw, her nose, her mouth. Shifting, it was hard to watch. Christina was getting pummeled and there was nothing I could do unless I wanted to bring Eric's wrath down on top of me. Which at the moment wouldn't bother me, he needed to get out whatever was going on with him and out of everyone it might as well be me. Frowning further, I watched as blood ran down the side of Christina's face and splatters on the ground next to her cheek.
"Jesus." I said wanting to avert my eyes but I couldn't.
Christina screamed and dragged one of her arms free. She punched Molly in the ear, knocking her off-balance, and wriggled free. She moved to her knees, holding her face with one hand. The blood streaming from her nose is thick and dark and covers her fingers in seconds. She screamed again and crawled away from Molly.
"Just pass out already." I said under my breath.
Molly kicked Christina's side, sending her sprawling onto her back. "Stop!" Wailed Christina as Molly pulled her foot back to kick again. She holds out a hand. "Stop! I'm…" She coughed. "I'm done."
Molly smiled while I stood there and shook my head. Swiftly moving to Christina, I put my hands on her arms. "It's okay. You're okay. Let's get you out of here." I told her softly. Glancing up, Eric was slowly moving toward us, standing over us with his arms folded. "Back off." I told him.
He laughed lightly, speaking quietly, "I'm sorry, what did you say? You're done?"
"Back off, Eric." I told him again.
Christina was on her knees, she had already spilled so much blood that when she pinched her nose to stop the bleeding, a bloody handprint was left on the floor. She nodded to him, she was done.
"Get up." He told her. His voice quiet and his words precise.
"Eric, she's done." I retorted. "Eric." I said just below a shout as he grabbed Cristina's arm, yanking her to her feet and dragging her toward the door. "Eric, stop."
"Follow me." He said to the rest of us.
He led us to the Chasm. Gripping his wrist, he stopped and looked at me. "Stop this. Whatever you're thinking, just stop."
He pulled free from me, standing near the railing. Since it was midafternoon, the Pit was almost empty. Even if there were, I doubted anyone would do anything to stop whatever Eric was about to do.
He looked at me before shoving Christina against the railing. "Climb over it."
"What?" Christina asked like she expected him to relent, but her wide eyes and ashen face suggested otherwise. Eric wasn't one to back down.
"Eric." I said stepping closer to him. "This isn't necessary."
"Climb over the railing." He repeated to Christina, saying each word slowly. "If you can hang over the chasm for five minutes, I will forget your cowardice. If you can't, I will not allow you to continue initiation."
"Eric." I said through clenched teeth.
He didn't budge. Looking at Christina, she was taking in the narrow, metal railing. The spray from the river coated it, making it slippery and cold. Both would make holding on for five minutes difficult. She has two options, decide to become factionless, or risk her life.
"Fine." She said with a shaky voice.
She's tall enough to swing her leg over the railing. I held my breath as her foot shook. Putting her toe on the ledge as she lifted her other leg over. Facing us, she wiped her hands on her pants and held onto the railing so hard her knuckles turn white. Then she takes one foot off the ledge. Then the other. She looked determined, but I knew that it wouldn't last long.
"This isn't necessary." I said to Eric softly.
"If you continue to undermine me in this I'll put you right next to her." He replied harshly.
"It's so nice to see that the old Eric is back in full swing." I glared at him.
Squatting down by Christina, she was holding on. Her arms weren't shaking yet and she was firmly gripping the railing. Only then the river hit the wall and white water sprays against her back. Her face struck the barrier and she cried out. Her hands slipped so she was holding on by just her fingertips. She tried to get better grip, but now her hands are wet.
"You've got this." I told her. She met my eyes, nodding. "This is easy. You can handle this."
"Pen." Eric told me.
Glaring at him, I wasn't going to let him stop me, I wasn't touching her. "Just hold on." I said looking at Christina again.
She nodded but then her expression crumpled and she let out a sob that is louder than the river, making my heart start to race. I wasn't about to let her fall. Preparing myself to lunge for her if I had to, I watched as another wave hit the wall and the spray coated her body. Her hands slipped again, and this time, one of them fell from the railing, so she's hanging on by only four fingertips.
"Come on, Christina." Al called out to her. She looked at him. He claps. "Come on, grab it again. You can do it. Grab it."
"You can do it, this is easy." I told her.
She swung her arm, fumbling for the railing. No one else was cheering her on, but Al brought his big hands together and shouts, his eyes holding hers.
"One minute left." Tris called.
"Hear that? One more." I told her. Christina's other hand found the railing again. Her arms shake so hard it made me fear that she would fail in the last few moments of her test. "Less than a minute."
"Come on, Christina." Tris and Al said together, her voice growing in strength.
"Seconds, Christina. That's all you've got." I told her as another wave of water splashes against her back. But she was still hanging on. She grabbed the bars of the barrier.
"Five minutes are up." Al told Eric, practically spitting the words at him.
Eric checked his own watch. Taking his time, tilting his wrist, he finally spoke, "Fine. You can come up, Christina." Al walked toward the railing as I reached down for her. "No." Eric shot at us. "She has to do it on her own."
"No, she doesn't." Al growled. "She did what you said. She's not a coward. She did what you said."
Eric didn't respond. Al reached over the railing, using his size to her advantage as he gripped her wrist. She grabbed his forearm and allowed him to pull her up. I gripped her as soon as she was in reach; Tris as well as we hauled her over the barrier. She dropped to the ground, her face still blood-smeared from the fight, her back soaking wet, her body quivering.
"It's okay." I told her, swiftly checking her over. "You're gonna be okay."
"Everyone back to the training room." Eric told them. All did as they were told except for the four of us that were still on the ground. "Get moving." He told Al and Tris.
"I'm going to take her to the infirmary." I told him, standing over Christina protectively.
"She can suffer through it." He replied.
"No." I shot at him. "She's had enough for the day. She did what you demanded. I'm taking her to the infirmary. If I see Four I'll be sure to send him back to the training room to relieve you from babysitting them." He clenched his jaw before walking away. Bending down, I put her arm around my shoulders, hoisting her to her feet. "Come on. I'll make it all better."
It was slow going but she was holding her own. "Thank you." She finally told me, breaking the silence. "You're the only one I've see stand up to him."
"You haven't been here very long." I stated.
"No." She replied. "But I still don't think anyone else beneath him would dare talk to him the way you do."
"Well, believe it or not, he has his moments where he's actually a decent human being." I told her, not wanting them to hate him just yet. Even though I was having trouble with that myself right now.
"Something that I think he shows only to you." She replied.
I frowned at her. "You don't know anyone well enough to make such judgments."
"I know. But from what everyone says about him and about you, it makes sense."
"What do they say about me?" I smirked, curious.
"That you're tough as nails." She grinned. "And that you are stubborn and have a short temper. Something that if you trigger you might as well make a run for it otherwise you'll end up right where we're going."
Laughing, I nodded. "I'm kind of awesome then."
"They also say that you're one of the kindest that Dauntless has had. Something refreshing from the hard ways that they've been taught."
"Who the hell have you been talking to?" I frowned.
"I hear things." She smiled.
"Well stop. Make your own judgments about us all on your own."
"I am."
Frowning, I dug my finger into her side, making her flinch. "Then stop looking at me like to know me."
She frowned at me, gently touching where my finger had just been. "So far what they've said is true."
Laughing, I shook my head. "Fine. I'll attempt to behave."
"That's not very Dauntless of you." She smirked.
Finally making it to the infirmary, I spent the remainder of the day tending to Christina. Giving her IV fluids and something to relax her. She was going to be sore for a while. I did not envy her in the slightest. Sitting with her, it was nice to get to know her. My hard demeanor wasn't needed here and it appeared she appreciated a little laughter and attention.
When I felt like she had recovered enough, I escorted her back to the dormitory, lingering in the doorway as she reunited with Tris, Will, and Al. It made me think of my own trio. Claude, Henry, and myself. Christina turned and smiled at me, nodding, I turned to come face to face with Edward.
"Excuse me." I told him.
"Stay." He smirked.
"Get the fuck out of my way before I put you on the ground." I smiled. His face fell and he stepped aside.
"Listening to a girl now?" Peter grinned.
"He knows what's good for him." I said turning to look at Peter. "I look forward to teaching you that lesson as well."
"You can teach me anything." He replied with a wink.
Stepping up to him, I leaned down, bringing my face closer to his. Heat rose in his cheeks. For a moment I just took him in, then I head-butted him as hard as I could, knocking him off his bed. The rest burst with laughter.
"Remember to always clench your teeth and press your tongue against them. It makes it hurt less." I told the room before leaving.
Peter was a complete and total tool. He would do everything he had to do to become a member. That scared me. I'd have to keep an eye on him just to make sure the others remained safe. They were lucky he wasn't half bad; otherwise I'd have to warn them to watch their backs.
Silently thanking Christina for getting her ass beat, it was late and I was exhausted by the time I finally opened the door to my home. Stepping in, I sighed, turning on the light to see Eric standing in front of me. His face was expressionless and his hands were crossed in front of him.
"I'm tired, Eric." I told him. He just looked at me. Feeling a wave of emotion, I sighed, stepping up to him. "Are you going to talk to me yet?" Reaching my hand up, before I could place it against his face he hit me, sending me to my hands and knees. Staring at the floor, dazed, I side sat and looked up at him.
"Never speak to me that way again in front of the initiates. You are barely better than they are. Your job is to help train them. That is all. Are we clear?"
"Yes." I replied, glad that my voice was strong and not agonized like I felt inside.
He nodded and left, slamming the door on the way out. Moving against the wall, I brought my knees up, draping one arm over them while I gently touched my cheek with the other. Sighing, I stared ahead, wondering what the hell I did. Why was he acting this way? What was going on? But then I couldn't help but laugh. This was the Eric everyone warned me about. This was the Eric that everyone wanted me to see. The one I knew was inside of him. He had come back with a vengeance.