Title: Silverback Pride
Rating: T (Although it could get Dark)
Chapter: 10
Author: Jonathan
Category: Xander/Buffy Eventually
Spoilers: Season 1 AU. Stats from "The Pack"
Summery: Answer to a FanFic Challenge. Xander Harris took a different animal spirit that day.
Disclaimer: Buffy: the Vampire Slayer is owned by Fox, UPN, Whedon, and ME. Tarzan is owned by Edgar Rice Burroughs' family.
Special Thanks: William Gilmor, Cyclone, Nu_klear

He smirked, "Are you kidding?"

Willow looked down at the keyboard for a second. She put on a sad smile. "Yes, it was a joke I made up."

A joke? Right…. Xander sighed. "I think…" He started… "I think somebody's feeling like they could use a healthy dose of Xander." He grinned, dropped his bag on the table and took a chair. He walked over to his friend and sat down. "And I'm talking about me." He scooted up the seat. "So, what's the plan?"

She took book off the table behind her. "Just have to scan this and a couple others. It should only take a couple hours."

"A couple hours…okay…"

Willow sighed. She knew that tone. "Xan, it's ok. If you want, you can go."

He grinned, "I want to help." He took a book too. "See, this is me helping." He opened the book, "So where do we start? Table of contents, right?"

"Right." She said as she took the book from him.

"See, I want to help." Xander said with pride.

"I guess you do." Willow agreed. She went to the keyboard and went to open the scanning program. "I just have to let the scanner read this."

"That's it?" He asked.

"Yeah, among other steps." She went for another page. "Then we just save it to the hard drive."

Within the next hour, the two of them managed to scan two books into the hard drive.

"This isn't so hard." Xander said to his friend.

"I told you it wouldn't be, Xander." Willow replied. "Not everything educational in school is boring."

"I never said it was all boring." He said with a grin. "I look forward to fourth period every day."

"Xander, that's lunch."

He smirked, "And I look forward to it everyday. Anything that combines food and my favorite people in the world is worth looking forward to."

She looked at him with a knowing smile. "School isn't only for food and socializing, Xander."

"Yep, it's the perfect way to kill time between weekends."

It was at that moment when a sudden pop-up appeared on screen.

"What just happened?"

Willow looked at the screen. "Dave just sent me an IM."

Willow went to the keyboard and typed a reply.

"Looks like he's going to come in tomorrow to do some more scanning." Xander said after he read his reply.

"There's not that much left." Willow told Xander. She then typed the comment back to Dave explaining the same sentiment.

"So soon?" Xander asked, half shocked.

"If you want…we can do the other books Giles left in his office."

He looked at the clock. "I only got another hour. Wednesday night and all."

"Forgot about that." Willow told him. "Setting changed, but the routine didn't I take it."

"Nope."

"But I wouldn't worry about it." Xander told her. He got to his feet and went for the table to grab his bag. "Just something that I have to put up with."

"You shouldn't have to put up with it, Xander." Willow said to his retreating form.

"I really can't talk about this right now, Wills. I got to get going…"

She nodded slowly. "Alright…" Willow went to the scree and saw her chat session with Dave. Glancing back, she asked, "We could IM about it later."

He looked back at her. "I don't have an IM account."

"We can make one now. It won't take long." His friend reasoned.

"I dunno, Wills. Aren't those supposed to be dangerous?"

"They don't have to be." Willow told him. "We can talk online whenever you're dad has a fit." She went for the keyboard and typed in a web address. "I'll give you a disc. Just install this. Choose a screen name and we can talk."

He approached her. "Wouldn't the phone just be easier?"

She shrugged, "This way you'll be using the phone line. Your dad wouldn't be getting those business calls so often."

Xander sighed. "Alright…I'll give it a try." He watched as Willow put a disc into the computer and went through a few commands.

Willow ejected the disc a few minutes later. Taking a piece of a paper, she scribbled something down. She handed it to him. "Just install and we'll be able to talk online." The redhead watched as he looked at the scrap of paper. "My screen name."

"DoogieFan82?"

She blushed. "Not my best name. But I was in a Neil Patrick Harris mood."

"Uh huh…"

"It doesn't matter. I might change it. I dunno."

"Sure." He shoved the disc in his pocket. "I'll give it a look." Xander told her goodbye and headed out of the library.

She turned back to the computer. Willow was almost done. She went for the last book and continued to scan the pages. As she was nearing the final page, she failed to see the book's text disappear. Willow closed the book and headed for the doors.

The lights turned off moments later. The only thing flashing was a line of new text on the screen.

'Where am I?'

"Goodnight, Mom!"

Xander opened his door moments later. He let out a breath and then closed the door. "Too many times…" He whispered. Xander closed his eyes for a moment. He opened his eyes to see Buffy sitting on the bed.

"Hi, Buffy."

"How'd it go?" Buffy asked her friend as he joined her on the bed.

"The usual." He sat on the edge of the bed. He glanced at her for a second. His eyes turned back to the carpet. Xander shrugged, "The usual. Woe is me. Anthony loves me. I know he does. I can't leave him. He knows he has a problem and he'll fix it….yadda yadda yadda…" Xander returned his glance to his friend. He shrugged. "The usual…nothing more."

"So this is your Wednesday nights?" Buffy asked.

"Pretty much." Xander confirmed.

"How do you cope?" Buffy asked, concerned

"Cope?" Xander questioned, confused.

Buffy edged closer to him. "Yeah, cope. Y'know, deal. You got a father who beats you, a mother who…ignores you…"

Xander let out a breath he was holding in. "I just…don't let it bother me." He paused for a moment. "I don't stress. I ignore it, watch tv or read a comic book."

"You do know what happens if you let it bottle up, don't you?"

He let out a breath. "It's not like I have a choice here, Buff."

"Xander…" She took his hand in hers, trying to show him the concern that she had for him. "You could've talked to me. You could've talked to any of us." She made sure he looked at her, straight in the eyes. "Giles or Willow. Or…even my mom."

"I didn't want you to worry about me…" Xander replied. "You have so much on your plate. You…Wills…Giles…you have so many things to do."

"That's such a load of crap." Buffy told him. "And you know it."

He took his hand back. "What am I supposed to say, Buff?" He got to his feet. 'I'm a wounded puppy and now you want to fix me?"

Buffy looked as went to the closet. He turned around to face her. Xander crossed his arms. She got to her feet. "Go with that."

His eyes widened, "Go with it?"

"Yeah, go with it!" She told him. "Let it out!"

"There's nothing to let out!" He half-yelled.

"Xander…just let it out! Your dad's been hurting you! Your mom's been ignoring you!" She went over to him and took hold of his shoulders, forcing him to look at her.

"I don't have anything to let out!"

"If you think you're not hurting, then you're not human! And I gotta tell you something, you are the most human of anyone I know. So don't tell me nothing's wrong!

"Buffy..." Xander said for the first time lowering his tone.

"Xander, why can't you let anything out?"

"I can't! I just…can't!" He glanced at the carpet, avoiding her eyes.

"Why?" Buffy tried to catch his eyes with hers.

"I just…." Xander said quietly.

"Just what, Xander?" She took her hand and caressed Xander's cheek. Buffy guided his face to look at her.

Xander looked at her face, saw something in her eyes that he recently had been becoming aware of. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. Xander pulled away from her and went to the bed again.

Buffy turned around and walked over to him. She sat down. "What do you mean you can't? Why can't you let it out?"

He looked at the carpet, and then back at her.

"Because I'm not worth it!"

"What do you mean you're not worth it?" Buffy asked, her tone soft.

"Forget about it." Xander replied, not focusing on her. He just wished that this conversation to be over.

"It took you this long to admit it, Xander. This is something I'm not going to drop."

He groaned. Xander fell backwards, landing on the bed. He took his hands and wiped his hands down his face. "I don't want to talk about this, Buffy. Can we just drop it?"

He withdrew his hands from his face and pulled himself into a sitting position. "We're not dropping this, Xander. Why do you feel like you're worth it?"

"Because it's the truth." Xander clarified. "You said it yourself. My dad hits me. My mom ignores me. Outside of you, Giles, and Wills, I don't exist. I know it's only temporary. Just look what happens, Buffy. The people I care about leave me. When I move out of this house, when I'm living with my mom and dear old dad again, this will end. I'll go back to watching tv and reading comics. Nobody would want to go looking for me. There's a reason why I've been labeled the King of Cretins."

"That's not true, Xander. You're totally worth it."

"Right, because people won't give me the time of day."

"Xander, stop being so hard on yourself. You told me that I'm too hard on myself. You should follow your own advice."

He smirked, "That worked so well in the past."

"Hey, "She gathered him in her arm, rested her head on his shoulder, giving him the comfort that he felt he was lacking. "The fact that you smirked means that you're not hurting as much as you think. And our friendship isn't going to end, Xander. You'll be just as important to me when you and your mom move out. I'll be only a phone call away." She shrugged. "Maybe your interview is right…maybe when we kill the Master, he'll put your dad away."

"Because we can so trust him."

"It might happen." Buffy told him, "If it doesn't, we'll figure something out. I don't want you being under the same roof with him."

"Neither do I, but I don't know what I'm going to do." Xander told her. He reluctantly pulled away from her. Xander went to the dresser and turned around. He sat down upon the ledge.

Buffy got to her feet and made her way over to him. "We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it." She gave him a smile. "I also don't want you to keep being too hard on yourself. You're not worthless. You're not a casualty. You're not the King of Cretins…"

"Can I be the Prince of Cretins?" He joked.

"I dunno. I heard that was a long term reign. No room for advancement."

He grinned. "Then what am I?"

"You're Xander. That's all you need to be."

He shrugged, "I guess I am."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Buffy reminded him. "I like my Xander-shaped-friend."

Xander gave her a curious look, "Why am I your Xander-shaped-friend? Can't I be your sexual Xander-shaped friend?" He gestured back to the bed. "If anything else, I could be your bed sharing Xander-shaped-friend."

Buffy smirked, "I think that remains to be decided." She took his hand. "But I will tell you one thing. I don't want you to be alone tonight. I think we're mature enough to share the same bed tonight."

"Really?" Buffy nodded. "I don't want your mom to come in here and think I took advantage of you."

"You won't be taking advantage of me. If they ask, I'll just say we were studying together in your room, got too tired, and we crashed on the bed." She pulled away from him and went for the bed. Buffy sat down and pulled part of the covers down. "I'll sleep underneath the covers, and you'll be above. Simple as that."

He sighed, "I guess it can work."

"C'mon. Let's just go to bed."

Joyce Summers placed the folded the towels back into bathroom. She was putting the laundry that she put in the dryer last night. Joyce closed the bathroom closet and went over to her room next.

She had been putting the laundry away for the last few minutes. She successfully did the bathroom and now she was on her way into her bedroom. When she finished that, she went on to drop off what she did for Jessica.

Joyce went to Buffy's room to drop off her laundry, but when she went into the room, Buffy was nowhere to be found. It didn't even look like Buffy slept in her bed at all last night.

She thought for a second. Maybe Buffy was actually in the other bathroom. Buffy on the rare occasion does get up early. Even though normally she isn't a morning person. It does happen. It is also possible that Buffy even made her bed this morning too. There's probably nothing to worry about. Joyce then put her laundry away as well.

Following Buffy's room, Joyce went for the guest room. Or as it was becoming, Xander's room. She noticed the door was slightly ajar. She opened the door and what she saw surprised her. Xander was lying in the bed with Buffy resting her head upon Xander's chest. His arms wrapped around Buffy's back.

Joyce smiled at the image. After everything Xander and Buffy had been through the last couple weeks, finding the two in bed together wasn't something she found upsetting. The two were getting rather close and it wouldn't be surprising if the two started dating in the near future. Buffy could use someone stable in her life and Xander looked like he needed the same thing. Or at least something that he could count on. Buffy needed that too.

Smiling to herself, Joyce put the laundry stacked on the dresser quietly, enough to not disturb the two sleeping teenagers. Joyce left the room, deciding to let them sleep a little longer. The four of them would have something to talk about this morning during breakfast.

TBC

Sorry if this appears a little short, but I think I had some good moments in this chapter to move to the Buffy/Xander dynamic along. Thanks for reading and look out for chapter 11 hopefully next week.