I don't want to make a scene in front of everyone in the jewelry store, so I take my best friend by the wrist and literally drag him out of the place and into a mostly abandoned hallway with some drinking fountains and vending machines. I wait for a woman exiting the restroom to pass by before rounding on House.

"What in God's name were you thinking!" I demand, hands on my hips.

"What?" he asks, sounding like a child who cut himself an extra-large piece of cake daring his mother to reprimand him.

I just shake my head. "How can someone so smart be so idiotic? House, why in the world would you tell her that I'm the one who picked out her engagement ring?"

"Because it's the truth."

We spend a second just staring at each other.

"I know it's the truth," I say finally. "I know it and you know it. But she didn't have to. Don't you have any idea how happy it made her, thinking you had gone out and bought her the ring?"

"But I didn't," he points out. "Her happiness was based on a lie."

"But everyone lies," I turn House's famous line back around on him. "And you're the one who told me that the most successful marriages are based on lies. Don't you want this marriage to be successful? Based on your logic, you should have just agreed with her. Do you really think I wouldn't have gone along with it?"

He doesn't say anything, he just stares at the floor. I continue. "House, I gave you that ring so you could use it to make your fiancée happy. What was the point of taking it if you were just gonna tell her it came from me?"

"I'm not lying to her again," he says, looking me in the eye this time. "Last time she found out I lied to her she practically broke up with me over it. And she probably would have found out about the ring eventually. Besides, she's overreacting anyway. She wanted a ring and she got a ring. What difference does it make whether I bought it or not? It's not like I stole it or anything."

I spend a second staring at him. For once I don't get lost in his eyes or caught up in fantasies that will never come true. I'm looking at him, just trying to understand what's going through his head, trying to comprehend the fact that he really doesn't get exactly what made Cuddy so upset. "You seriously don't understand?" I ask, looking at him.

He rolls his eyes. "Of course I get that she wanted a ring from me, but she didn't need to get upset over it. People reuse engagement rings all the time. The one my dad got my mom was passed down from his great-grandmother."

"House, there's a difference between a ring being passed down through family and getting a ring that your friend couldn't use because his girlfriend said no. And besides, it wasn't the ring that made her happy. She couldn't care less about a stupid ring. She's got plenty of money—if a ring was all she wanted she could go and buy one herself. It's..." I think hard, trying to explain exactly. "It's not the ring itself, but what it's supposed to mean. It's supposed to symbolize your promise to marry her–"

"–It still does," he interrupts, eyes scanning mine. "Just because I got the ring from you doesn't mean I don't want to marry her."

"It's the effort," I say finally, hoping this will explain it. "She thought that it occurred to you that she might like an engagement ring and then you made the effort to go to a jewelry store and pick out a ring to give to her. Instead she finds out all you did was go to my office and get a ring that I only gave to you because Sam rejected it. And when someone passes a ring down to their children it's probably a ring from a long and happy marriage, not something that a potential bride turned down. I know Cuddy's not superstitious or anything but seriously, House, who wants a ring that someone else said no to?"

He's still watching me. I'm breathing faster from the effort of my argument and I stare right back at him, waiting.

"Then why did you even offer it to me?" he asks finally.

He said the words without breaking eye contact, but I look down at the ground.

I don't know.

I know I was sick of knowing it was sitting in the back of my desk, almost haunting me with the memory of Sam, but there were a thousand other ways I could have gotten rid of it. I could have sold it and donated the money to the American Cancer Society. Or a bazillion other things.

Why did I give it to House?

Because I love him? Because in some messed-up way his acceptance of my ring is a way of saying he loves me too? I offered him an engagement ring and he accepted it, but we didn't get engaged. I gave him the ring to use for his engagement. My giving him the ring didn't symbolize anything between me and him.

Or did it have nothing to do with him? Was it my need-to-be-needed, as House describes it? Something inside me begging to contribute in some way, hopefully some big important way? To help my best friend, the man I love, to help make this exhausting process go smoother for him?

"Have you suddenly gone deaf and dumb?" House asks. "Wilson, you're not answering me."

"I wanted to make you both happy," I say defiantly. "I thought getting a ring would make her happy and I figured if she was happy it would make you happy. I never thought you'd be moronic enough to tell her."

"Happy," he mutters, looking away. "I'm sure she's thrilled now."

I shake my head. "House, you'd better go after her. If you still want to marry her–"

For some reason he chooses that second to catch my eye again and I lose track of what I'm saying before remembering and repeating myself. "If you still want to marry her..." I pause for half a second to give him a chance to deny it, which he doesn't, "...you need to go find her now, apologize not only profusely, but sincerely, tell her you were an idiot and grovel. If you don't, House, I think this could be the end of your engagement."

And as I say it I can't help but find myself hoping desperately for it. I look away, ashamed of myself. What kind of best friend hopes that his best friend's fiancée will dump him? I'm a terrible person.

In my peripheral vision, I see House nod, and then he takes his cane and turns away. I pull out my phone and start to look up the bus schedule, then change my mind and find the number of a cab company.

—

I sniff and blow my nose again. The rock on my left-hand ring finger seems even bigger than usual and I can't look away from it. It's like it's haunting me, mocking me. Part of me wants desperately to throw it out of the car window to be lost forever in the depths of the parking garage, but I can't bring myself to do it. Tossing away the engagement ring signals the end of the engagement and as much as he screwed up, as much as he hurt me, I don't want it to be over.

I don't want it to be over. I have waited for him my whole life. I've wanted him to be the one since a time I was barely legal.

I just wish he would show me the same devotion that I show to him! A secondhand ring that the first potential bride said no to? What was he thinking? And Wilson! I thought Wilson was my friend, why would he be part of something that he knew would hurt me so?

Tears begin to flow afresh from my eyes and I don't bother stopping them. I just can't stop wondering why. Why is my fiancé so selfish? Why am I so in love with a man who doesn't even care enough to go out and buy me my own ring? And if he treats me this way then why can't I get over him? Why can't I just fall out of love with him and in love with someone who actually cares about my needs and my feelings?

I shake my head. It's just so frustrating.

I hear a tapping on the driver's-side window and look up to see House and his cane. I don't even know if I'm happy to see him or not. But either way, I reach across the center console and unlock the car door. He gets in. I don't look at him. I stare at the glove box in front of me, waiting for him to speak.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he mutters finally. "I wasn't thinking. It didn't even occur to me to get you a ring, and when Wilson offered I thought it would make you happy. I wanted you to be happy. And you were."

"Because I thought the ring was from you," I say, irritated that my voice is still wavering. I don't want him to see me cry.

"It was from me," he says. He takes my hand and slides his fingers through mine. I let him, but I still haven't looked at him. "It meant the same thing to me that it would have if I'd gone out and bought it myself. I should have realized that it wouldn't mean the same thing to you either way, but I didn't. I'm sorry."

I want to forgive him, I do. If I don't forgive him it means the end of us and I don't want that. But what if I forgive him and he just goes out and does the same kind of thing again and again? How do I know if he's really sorry? How do I know if he's sorry enough to change?

I don't say anything. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I want. We sit in silence for a few more minutes.

House sighs. "Look," he says finally, and I turn to him for the first time since he got in the car. At least my tears have dried.

He holds my gaze for just a second before looking down at his cane and tapping it on the floor. "All right, it was selfish," he continues. "Maybe it wasn't just you I was thinking of. Wilson..." He pauses for a moment and shakes his head. "...Wilson had been keeping that thing in his desk. It had been almost two months since Sam turned him down and he still hadn't hocked it or tossed it. I don't know why he kept it; that's Wilson for you, but he obviously wanted to get rid of it or he wouldn't have offered it to me. I figured by taking it I was doing him a favor as well as doing something for you. But I shouldn't have. It was wrong. The ring should have been all about you and nothing to do with Wilson. If you want I...I can go out and buy you a new one. Just for you."

He ends his speech, staring at his lap. I do want a new engagement ring but I don't want to tell him that. I want him to just know and to go get me one without me having to tell him, but I know he won't. I'd rather keep this one than have him buy me one just because I asked him to. It's the thought that counts, and whether it's this ring or another ring he buys me, the thought is what's missing.

As for his little story about helping Wilson out, I don't really believe it. His first apology didn't get a reaction so he just made up another big mistake so he could apologize for that too and maybe this time I would accept the apology.

But what choice do I have? Break off the engagement? After we already have so much planned? I don't want that. I want him to grow up, but I don't want to lose him.

I'm compromising. Settling. Something I told myself I'd never do. I don't understand how I'm settling when House is all I've ever wanted and all I'm in love with, but I feel that way.

I don't have a choice. I have to give in. I want to be with him, and for that to happen I need to accept the fact that he's never going to think of me enough to go out and buy me my own engagement ring. I hope he knows how lucky he is.

"All right," I say. "House, I forgive you for this...unthoughtfulness. I'm not going to ask you to buy me a new ring. Let's just...put all this behind us and go home."

He nods. I pull my seatbelt on. We drive home in silence.