.

.

"The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing

Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head and a
Trouble that can't be named
A tiger's waiting to be tamed, singing

You are
You are"

-Coldplay, "Clocks"

(:)(A)(:)

To the Flame

Chapter #10: C'era Una Volta

(Once Upon A Time)

(:)(A)(:)

"It's pizza."

Her nose wrinkles, frowning down at the round mass of melted cheese and meat. It does not look as unappealing as the Cheeto he had her try, but it still is not something she wishes to put in her mouth. "No, thank you."

Natsu is stunned, his shoulders sagging as he gapes at her. "But it's pizza. Everyone everywhere likes pizza."

She blinks up at him. "But I do not want it."

Natsu sets the box on the counter with a sigh, his other hand dragging down his face with a level of weariness she doesn't understand. "Then what do you want?"

"I do not want anything." She is not lying. She is content in his home; she does not require anything else but his company.

This seems to be the wrong answer, though, because he is shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. "You have to eat something, Luce."

She frowns. "But I don't want anything."

For a long moment there is silence, and he stares at her as if he is at a loss. "... You really don't want to eat? This isn't about me paying for it, or anything stupid like that?"

She nods. "I am comfortable."

For a long time he simply continues to stare at her, as if she holds the answer to a question he doesn't wish to say. Eventually he sighs, running a hand through his hair. "What if I make you a deal? If you eat just two slices then I'll show you one of my favorite movies of all time. What do you say?"

She hesitates, tempted. She looks at the open cardboard box in the tiled counter of his kitchen island and bites her lip when she is reminded by how unappealing his pizza looks. "One?" She counters, hopeful.

He shakes his head. "Not enough. Two slices, Luce."

She cringes. She wants to see the movie that he claims to be so wonderful. The curiosity is nagging at her, merciless, but she is almost sure that his food will taste like ash on her tongue.

After a long pause he gives another sigh. "Look, We can even watch the movie first – but you have to promise to eat them! The moment the credits start up, and you have to eat all of it. Crust, everything."

She is already settling herself on the couch, tucking her sweat pant clad legs under her chin. "I promise. Movie now, pizza after."

"Still can't believe you don't like pizza," he mutters, grabbing a slice from the box for himself and biting into it with relish. His next words are formed around half chewed crust as he searches his bookshelf. "Seriously. Pizza is, like, the best thing ever." Finally his fingers find something in the shape of a black plastic rectangle and he holds it up triumphantly. "Here we go. Good ole VHS!" He takes another large bite of his pizza as he evaluates the tape in his hand. "Looks like I even remembered to rewind it last time."

Lucy doesn't know what he is talking about, but she waits patiently as he inserts the piece of plastic into the slot of the box sitting next to the television and excitement bubbles in her chest when a picture appears. Natsu grabs the pizza box off the counter and sets it on the coffee table as the previews play. By the time the movie starts he has started on a third slice.

The story captivates her, made all the better by being to see every detail on the glass screen. There is a girl who lost her lover and is kidnapped by three outlaws when she becomes the king's intended bride. They sail her across waters filled with oversized eels and are followed closely by a ship and a man in a black mask. Now, after climbing an impossibly steep cliff, the masked man and the Spaniard prepare to duel.

"See, Inigo's a good guy," Natsu explains around another bite of pizza. "He let the other guy rest and everything."

"So the masked man is bad?" She asks, head tilted as she evaluates the men on the television screen. She wants to understand as much as possible about this movie that Natsu has insisted is a classic.

He shakes his head. "No, he-" An unexpected knock sounds on the door and interrupts his passionate explanation of the character's background. "Huh," he mumbles, already setting the half eaten slice down and standing, "Wonder who that is." As he walks to the door, Lucy is distracted by the sound of metal hissing along metal and finds herself immersed by the way the two character's trade witty banter between the clashing of their swords. She vaguely registers the sound of the apartment door opening with a groan, and is only partially paying attention to the words that leave Natsu's mouth moments later.

"Gray? What the hell are you –"

"I need to talk to you." The words are blunt, but Lucy detects the slightest hint of urgency in his voice, and it prompts her to look up from the television despite the very thrilling sword fight dancing across the screen. The serious set of the man's jaw is something she expects, but she is unprepared for the wary suspicion sharpening his gaze when their eyes meet. Her brows crease – she does not remember doing anything to earn such a look. When he focuses his attention back on their mutual friend, she notices that there is a old manila folder clutched tightly in his hand.

Natsu seems just as perplexed by his friends behavior, but he opens the door wider in invitation. "Uh, ok," he says carefully, "Come on in then."

"Alone. I need to talk to you alone."

Even though his back is mostly to her, Lucy can still make out Natsu's frown. "What the hell is wrong with you? Whatever it is, you can talk about it in front of Lucy. She wouldn't –"

"It's about her," Gray hisses, and suddenly any trace of irritation disappears from Natsu's expression.

He waits a moment, maybe two, before he turns to look at her. When he does she is ready. "About me?" she repeats, her words no more than a murmured question. She is confused ... she doesn't know what Gray could possibly know about her that she herself does not. The urge to know is overwhelming. It makes her chest ache with an empty sort of pain. She can tell by the look on Natsu's face that he will not insist on letting her hear.

"Luce, stay there. Alright?" he says gently. It is in the form of a request, but Lucy can tell that it is nonnegotiable. "I'll be right back." He steps out of the apartment, closing the door behind him, and she is surrounded by nothing but the sounds of battle coming from the weak television speakers. Her fingers fumble with the buttons, and it takes her three tries before she manages to turn the device off. Without the extra noise she is able to make out the hushed voices filtering from underneath the door. She is not able to decipher the words, but she can tell from the tones they are using that they are having some sort of hushed disagreement.

She wants to move closer, wants to hover right on the other side of the door so that she can understand their words, but Natsu told her to stay, so she will. After a moment their voices cease, and there is a tense silence that she can feel despite being on the outskirts of the conversation. Then, in response to something Natsu mumbles, Gray's voice escalates enough for her to hear clearly.

"Damn it, Natsu! This isn't a fucking joke! My old man worked this case over twenty years ago! Does she look over forty to you?! I don't know what the hell she is, but she isn't human!"

Natsu's response is quick, and equally heated. "I don't care! She's my friend! She's been my friend for almost a year! So just - go. Go home. I'll handle this." The door opens and the first thing Lucy notices is that Natsu's complexion is disturbingly pale, almost bloodless. In his hand, dangling listlessly in his weak grip, is the folder that she spotted Gray holding only moments ago. He glances at her, but it seems to be more of a confirmation of where she is than anything because his eyes skip over her quickly before he turns to face his friend in the hallway. "I'll call you in the morning."

"Natsu," he hisses, his eyes darting nervously to the blonde on the couch and back. "You don't even know what –

"Yeah," Natsu snaps, "I do. So just leave it alone. I got this."

Gray is staring at him like he is crazy, shaking his head of dark hair as if in disbelief. Natsu's determined expression doesn't falter. "You're sure about this? Like, one hundred percent positive?"

"Wouldn't be telling you to scram if I wasn't."

The man she only met earlier that day gives her one last look, his jaw tense and his gaze burning with a level of doubt that she doesn't understand. It pins her to the couch, makes her body freeze even though she knows that he can bring no harm to her. When his eyes leave hers it is a relief. "Fine." The word holds a bite to it that makes her flinch, but as the dark haired man turns away and stomps down the hall Natsu calmly shuts the door. She hears the deadbolt sink into place with a heavy thunk.

For a long moment he just stares at the door, and Lucy feels worry begin to pool in the pit of her stomach. She can't shake the feeling that something is not right. "Natsu?"

His words are soft, bearing no hint of accusation. "I'm kinda surprised you weren't listening on the other side of the door."

"You told me to stay," she murmurs. She wonders if he has forgotten.

His hand falls away from the door, and he turns to look at her. There is a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. It doesn't match his eyes. "Yeah, I did. Thanks for listening." His gaze meets hers, and it feels as if he is trying to untangle the very threads that she is made up of, to rearrange her letters so that he can read her like his book. She wishes that he could, but the way his eyes break away tells her that he cannot.

He rubs the back of his neck in what she recognizes as a nervous gesture before tossing the folder in his hand onto the kitchen island. It lands with a slap that seems to echo in the small apartment. Natsu releases a shaky breath, stepping into the into the living room with tentative steps. "Luce, I'm going to tell you a story, ok?"

She nods, curiosity piqued despite the nervous buzz humming under her skin. Natsu has told her many stories, but he has never looked at her the way he is now. There is an anxiety in his gaze, a restrained edge in his voice, that makes her nervous. Somehow she knows that this story will not end in 'happily ever after' like all the others. "It is not a good story, is it?"

Natsu hesitates. "It ... It isn't happy, no."

"Then why are you telling it?" She wants to know. She doesn't understand why he would tell her a story that makes him unhappy. Why he would force himself to speak the words when it is so painfully clear that he wishes to keep them in? Curiosity nags at her, nibbles away at the edges of her mind like a hungry field mouse, but she would rather it consume her than for Natsu to share words that he'd rather keep hidden.

He surprises her when, instead of sitting, he kneels in front of her, his hands grasping hers and encasing them in heat. "Because I have to. Because I can't ..." He pauses, searching for words. "I can't figure out the ending. I need your help. Can you do that for me?"

She frowns, uncomfortable with his request. "I only paint pasts," she murmurs regretfully. Really, she doesn't even do that anymore. She cannot remember the last time she used words to paint a picture. She cannot even remember the last story she told.

He squeezes her hand softly, reassuringly. "I know. This story already happened – that's why I need your help. Because I only do the futures, remember?"

Hesitantly, she nods, understanding his words even though she doubts her own abilities.

He swallows thickly; she can see the way his Adam's apple bobs under the pressure. "Once upon a time, there was this girl. She lived in this big mansion with her dad. She was very nice, and really popular with the other kids in high school, and–"

"What was her name?" She asks, interrupting him.

He hesitates, and she doesn't understand why. He never has before. "I – I'm not sure."

She frowns. Names are important. Without a name the girl in the mansion is just a thing and not a person. He seems to sense this because his thumbs stroke her wrists apologetically. "We'll find her a name when the story is over, ok?"

She nods. She is still uneasy about the girl being nameless, but this is an acceptable compromise. "What did she look like?"

He is watching her carefully, as if gauging her reaction. "Blonde hair. Big, brown eyes. Very pretty."

She nods, satisfied.

Natsu is still watching her avidly, his breath coming out in a shaky exhale before he continues. "She ... she loved to write stories. She kept them all in a notebook that she took with her everywhere."

She thinks of the many notebooks that line her shelves. "Like mine?" she asks.

"Yeah," he breaths. His voice sounds strange, as if he has to forcibly push the words from his throat. "A lot like yours."

"Is her name on the cover too?" She only wants to know because if she did then they could find her name the same way Lucy found her's, but the stricken look on Natsu's face makes her regret asking.

"I – I don't know. Maybe." Perhaps it is the way he winces, or maybe it is the way his voice sounds foreign to her, but Lucy thinks that he might be not be speaking the truth. She thinks that he does know but isn't ready to tell her. The temptation to keep asking is there, she feels it pacing in her breast like a living thing, but she restrains the urge. There is a level of pain in his gaze as he looks at her, a clamminess to his hands, that suffocates her curiosity with concern.

"One day she took her notebook and went to the park so she could work on her story. She sat on one of the park benches so she could watch the kids play," he says, voice rougher than she has ever heard it. He licks his dry lips, eyes never leaving hers despite the discomfort she sees reflecting in his gaze. "She got so distracted that she didn't notice when the sun went down ..."

Something prods the back of her memory – an ice cold prick of recognition. In his grasp her hands begin to tremble. "I don't think I like this story," she whispers, voice edged with terror. Something inside her screams to leave it alone, that this is one story that should not be written. "I don't think it wants to be told."

His grip tightens in what she knows is suppose to be reassuring but it only makes her feel trapped. "I know. I don't like it either, Luce. But I need you to be honest with me, ok? Do you know the ending?"

Her body is shaking. Behind Natsu she sees black leather, hears dark laughter that rakes down her spine. "There was a man... He wanted ..." Her hand drifts to the scar on her neck. "He said he was hungry."

Screams echo in her brain. She sees a flash of a pointed smile and a phantom pain blooms at her neck – throbbing underneath her scar. There is the sound of cloth ripping and muffled screams that sound too familiar. She tastes rancid copper on her tongue. "She couldn't get away. He ripped her clothes ... she bit his hand. "

She looks down at Natsu, his forehead is leaning on her knees and his grip on her hand is painfully tight. "Natsu? What is her name?"

He exhales shakily, voice hoarse and full of pain. "You know her name, Luce."

She thinks of the oldest notebook on her shelf, scrawled with her name and with stains on the cover. Blood. The stains are from blood. "I think... her name is my name."

He looks up at her. His eyes are full of regret as he brushes a stray hair away from her face. "Yeah... It is. I wish it wasn't, but it is."

Gently, as if he thinks she might fracture beneath his touch, his fingers glide down the column of her neck and trace the ugly scar at her shoulder. She sees him swallow. "Do – do you know what you are?"

She doesn't hesitate in answering. "I am broken."

He doesn't scold her for saying so. For the first time he seems to be trying to understand. "Why? What makes you broken?"

There are many things, she knows, but she can only remember the one. "Because I tell stories instead of ending them."

For a moment he frowns, confused. Then suddenly Natsu is looking at her like she is something amazing. She decides that she rather likes it – it makes her feel real. His hand reaches up to caress her face, his palm deliciously warm against her marble cheek. As his thumb traces the corner of her mouth, his expression hardens. It is a look she has seen on him before, it screams determination. "When was the last time you ate?"

Ate? She tries to remember, but the only thing she can recall is the hunger. There was the cheesy styrofoam snack that he fed her, but somehow she knows that is not what he is asking. "Many stories ago," she mutters.

His fingers twitch against her cheek and he draws away from her. Standing up, he turns away from her to stride into the kitchen. She hears the rattling of silverware as he shuffles through a drawer, his brows drawn together in concentration. When he slams the drawer shut, she knows he has found what he is looking for. In his hand there is a knife with a small, smooth blade. She doesn't understand what he needs it for. His eyes meet hers unflinchingly. "Come here, Luce."

She does without question, curious as to what he is planning. When she is standing right in front of him, so close that she need only to reach out to touch him, he smiles down at her and brings his hands up so that they hover between them. She doesn't understand what he is doing, not until it is too late to stop him.

He runs the blade across his fingers.

AN: Alrighty, we got a long author's note this time around so prepare youselves. *deep breath*

First of all, a big thank you to all of you wonderful readers leaving feedback! You are all so awesome, and your words never fail to brighten my day! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are as excited as I am for the next one (you all probably know where this is going but if you need a hint read the story summary). A huge thank you to the wonderful madartiste for still being the most amazingly fantabulous beta ever!

Now for the long winded bit ...

You will most likely be seeing a lot more updates for this fic, because I'm a bit on a time crunch here...

I'm pregnant.

This means that by the end of August my writing time is going to be severely depleted and exchanged for mommy/baby time. Being that this is a fic I hope to someday rewrite as an original, it's getting priority. There are several themes in this story that I feel are important, and I'd like to be able to share them in the form of a novel. I'm hoping to have it finished a month or two before my due date so I can have some time to begin rewriting/editing before the baby is born. There is nothing I would like more than to be able to show my son/daughter physical proof that dreams can come true when you put your heart and soul in it. For me, that dream is seeing my work in print... If it could be successful enough to where I don't have to give back my deposit or w/e that would be pretty awesome too.

This also means that I will not be able to reply to as many of your guys' reviews as I have before. Some of you may have already noticed this. I'm exhausted you guys. When I'm not sleeping, trying to keep my stomach contents IN my stomach, or trying to prepare the baby's room I'm trying to write. So please know that even if I don't respond, your reviews are being read and appreciated. I just don't have enough energy to go around right now (hopefully this changes once I hit the glorified second trimester). Until then, just know that your words are probably one of the few things making me feel better in my all day sickness!

For you Ignite readers, don't worry. You're update is next and it is in the editing stages. :)