Ch 10. Old Friends and New Ones
(Bianca)
"Hey Owen," I comment when I answer my phone after I check who is calling.
"Hey B, how are you?" Owen asks, and I know he's just being a caring best friend.
"I'm doing alright, I'm still hurt by what Drew did, but I'm getting to a point of acceptance, cause I know I can't change what happened. I haven't had that talk with Audra and Omar yet, but I think I'm ready to face it," I admit, and I'm proud I can admit it out loud.
"I'm glad to hear you're doing better B. Call me if you need to, and you know you can always talk to Clare," he comments, and I smile.
"I know, you guys really are good friends," I tell him. "So I'm guessing this isn't why you called though," I comment with a laugh.
"No, it's not, I actually have two reasons why I called. First, Clare and I want to have a small reception Sunday night with the people who know about us to celebrate together. We're happy and we hope everyone else is happy for us, so we wanted to invite you of course. After all you knew about the two of us even before I knew once I was sober enough for what happened to really make sense."
"Of course Owen, I'd be happy to be there," I reply to the invitation.
"I hope it's alright Drew will be there too," he comments.
"I know he's your friend too, it's alright with me, maybe it'll give us some time to talk," I remark, and yet it also worries me slightly. "So what's the other reason?" I question.
"Uh, you know the ring Clare had when we first woke up on Saturday?" he asks, and I laugh, remembering the tacky ring.
"Yep, I remember, what about it?"
"Well, Clare and I started the process for her name to be changed today at lunch, and she's ready to start telling people, but wants to wait until her name has changed. And I'd like to get her a ring that she likes. A real wedding ring, and not the big silvery thing she had. And I thought maybe you could help me," he suggests his idea, and I laugh slightly.
"I'd be happy to help Owen. Do you have any idea what she'd like?" I ask hoping for a place to start.
"Not really," he admits with a sigh.
"Ok, well do you want to come by and pick me up? We could head to the jewellery store and look at rings," I suggest.
"That sounds good, but how do I find out what Clare might like?" he questions with some worry in his voice.
"I have an idea about that," I tell him, and he says he'll be by in about 20 minutes to get me. We say bye and hang up, and then I start working on my idea. I text Clare, and ask if she could have anything what she'd like her engagement and wedding rings to look like, although I know she's already married.
It's about five minutes later before I get a response, but I look at the time, and notice she's in class still. While I was waiting I was able to go online and check out what types of rings are available. There's so much to choose from now a days. She says white gold or silver, not yellow gold. Round diamonds, something classy and simple, but isn't really sure exactly what she'd want, but nothing too big.
Once I've gotten her reply, I get ready because Owen will be here soon. When he arrives I go out and get in his SUV after locking up my aunt's house. "So any thoughts on what to look for?" Owen asks as he starts driving to the mall which has a couple of jewellery stores.
"There's a lot of things to choose from, but I have a few things that will help," I tell him.
"Ya, like what?" he questions slightly confused.
"Well first, I know you're already married, but do you want to get what would normally be an engagement ring, just a wedding band, or both?" I ask, because that is up to Owen.
"Both would be wonderful, because I think Clare's deserves that, but I don't know about being able to afford both at this point. So cost could be an issue," he tells me, and I totally understand that.
"Ok, well I know that whatever you decide that it needs to be white gold, or silver, no yellow gold, and classy, simple and not too big. Plus if you get an engagement ring it should be round diamonds rather than square," I tell him, and he turns to me for a moment while he drives as if I'm nuts.
"And you know this how?" he questions with a slight snark.
"Because I asked her what she'd like if she could choose anything she wanted," I tell him.
"You didn't tell her I'm getting her a ring though right?"
"Of course not, I questioned as if I was curious, and wanted to see what types of things she likes," I remark. "I am a girl, and know when it comes to this stuff girls talk, so asking probably didn't set off any bells and whistles for Clare."
"Thanks B, I'm happy I have you for this. So I'm curious, what are you and Drew going to do with the apartment you were going to move into?" Owen asks, and this reminds me how happy I was when we first saw what was going to be our apartment after we got home from our honeymoon.
"I really don't know. I haven't talked to Drew or his family much, so I'm not sure what happens now," I comment, and I know my voice has gotten sadder.
"I'm sorry B, that was insensitive, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories," he comments, and I look at him for a moment.
"Actually I was remembering how happy I was to see what would become our new apartment, and now I have no idea what will become of it," I respond. We are silent the rest of the drive. When we arrive I follow Owen into the store. We walk around and come to the ring section and look through the glass displays some until a saleswoman walks over.
"Can I help you with something?" she asks and it's as if she's attempting to sound polite but is not doing a very good job of it.
"Yes, actually I'm looking for an engagement ring and wedding band for my wife," Owen tells her and the woman's face appears to contort in confusion. It actually looks pretty funny.
"She married you before she got the rings, and now you want to get them, isn't that going backwards?" she questions and this time doesn't even attempt to sound polite.
"Not that it's any of your business, but yes, their wedding was unexpected and so at the time they didn't have rings, but as they want to stay married now, he wants to surprise her with the rings they never got," I explain as politely as I can.
The woman looks at me with the slightest of glares, but I glare right back. She stops, and attempts to do her job. "Do you know what kind of rings you would like?" she asks turning directly toward Owen.
"I don't really know all that much about rings, and at the moment I'm not sure if I can get both rings but I'd like to look at both kinds and their prices, but nothing yellow gold, not too big, and round diamonds please," he lists off what he remembers and makes sure he's being polite. She walks behind the counter and over a few feet from where we're standing and pulls out some ring displays. First we look at engagement rings and then we look at wedding bands.
We look at the different displays for a while, and the woman becomes more helpful after our initial interaction. Given he doesn't have a job, and the limited budget he's on at this point, Owen decides that getting an engagement ring is all he can afford right now, but hopes that he'll one day be able to afford to get Clare the wedding band to go with it. He bought her a beautiful white gold ring with a round diamond in the center, and three small diamonds on either side in a triangle shape. The band twists like the infinity shape on each side of the diamonds and matches the wedding band it goes with.
When we reach the cash to pay, the woman has become more helpful. "I'm just curious, because you look quite young how old you are?" she queries.
"I'm 19," Owen answers, "Bianca, and my wife Clare are 18," he tells the woman.
"Wow, you are quite young. And I'm sorry for my attitude earlier," she apologizes politely and Owen and I nod. When she notices that Owen only has the engagement ring she speaks up. "You know, that engagement ring is part of a set. I'm guessing given your age, and that your marriage was sudden you can probably only afford 1 ring right now, but I could set the wedding band aside for you," she suggests.
"That would be wonderful, but at what cost?" Owen questions, not quite sure about this.
"It would be a deposit really. $50 to set it aside for 1 month, but its $50 you won't have to pay on the ring later," she explains. Owen looks at me and I smile.
"You have your heart set on getting Clare both rings. I say do it. I can even lend you the money for the deposit today," I suggest and get out my wallet.
"Thanks B, you're an awesome friend. And although Drew and I and Fitz and I are working on our friendships you'll always be my best friend," Owen comments and gives me a hug. The woman had walked away to retrieve the wedding band. When she walks back she tells Owen that the $50 deposit is non-refundable but will hold the ring aside for 1 month, so until May 25th. He pays for the engagement ring on his credit card, and then I pay the deposit with cash. We thank the woman for her help and leave.
"So I'm going to give Clare this ring Sunday night at the party, so please don't say anything before then and the wedding band is up in the air until I can pay for it," Owen pleads as he drives back to my aunt's apartment.
"Of course I won't say anything Owen. And I look forward to Sunday night. You know you have the big ring from Vegas you could pawn to help pay for the wedding band. I still have no idea where that one came from anyway. So when did you reconnect with Fitz?" I question.
"That's true, thanks B. And Wednesday before going over to Clare's mom's. Actually Emma wanted to talk to Clare so they were talking to Fitz about using the employee lounge to talk, and then Clare asked if I minded if she invited Fitz to meet us at the Break Room after meeting with her mom, which by the way did not go well," he comments.
"Ya I figured she wouldn't take it well," I remark.
"Ya so Fitz hung out with us, Jay, Lucas, Spinner and Emma for a while, and his friendships with both of us are starting to be rebuilt. I realize I've missed him. We've both changed a lot since Vegas night, and it was time to rebuild. Plus we told him about Clare and I that night, and Clare introduced him to a friend of hers from school cause she's thinks they would be good together," Owen tells me, and I smile.
"I'm glad it's working out. I've missed him too actually. And he deserves someone good in his life. So are you going to invite them to Sunday?" I question.
"Ya I'll invite him if Clare hasn't already and I don't know if Gaea knows about us or not. That's Clare's friend," he tells me.
"Ok sounds good. So I'll see you Sunday," I comment as Owen pulls into my driveway. "And all the best with job interview tomorrow," I comment getting out.
"Thanks B," Owen comments after rolling down the window, and then drives away.
(Clare)
"You want to walk to the Dot again? Owen isn't in the parking lot so he must be running late," I comment to Gaea as we walk outside.
"Sure sounds good to me," she responds. I think she's just hoping Mark will be working again. I get out and text Owen to let him know where I'll be. As we walk down the steps I see Tris and Maya walking together.
"Hey Clare," Tris calls and I smile.
"Hey Tris, hi Maya. This is my friend Gaea, we were just headed to the Dot. We don't have plans tonight so Owen can drive you home Tris, you guys want to walk with us?" I ask, and Maya gives me a curious look for what I said but doesn't comment.
"Hi Clare, and nice to meet you Gaea," Maya says and shakes Gaea's hand.
"Sure, thanks Clare. Maya's coming back to the house tonight to work on an assignment. Plus her parents are away at another hospital consultation so mom already agreed she could stay the weekend," Tris comments. I guess Maya will be finding out about Owen and I very soon, although given that she is like a little sister to him I'm surprised he's waited this long.
"Ok sounds good. Owen just texted back to say he'd meet us there." As we walk Maya and Tris ask Gaea a few questions and I mostly just listen. She tells them how her dad is a director, and although normally he'd just travel for work to direct, he's directing a tv show and the show is being filmed in Toronto so that's why they moved. Plus her parents had wanted to get out of LA anyway. Tris is pretty excited to about meeting someone with connections in the entertainment industry, and I'm not surprised given his love of acting. She also says she has a younger brother and 2 younger sisters. Her sister is in grade 9, so a year younger than him, her brother is in grade 5 and her baby sister is 6.
When we get to the Dot Gaea and I decide to sit at the counter, while Tris and Maya sit at a table by the window. "You want to come to a reception on Sunday evening?" I ask Gaea after we sit, but keep my voice low so other people don't hear.
"Sure, what's it for and where is it?" she asks and knows to keep her voice down too.
"Owen and I are staying married, and we'd like to have a reception to celebrate with the people who already know about us. Adam and Drew and their parents, my brothers, or at least those in town and Emma, I already asked Imogen about her and Fiona so probably them, plus Owen's family. And we were going to ask Mark too," I comment with a devilish smirk when I see Gaea's face gain a huge smile.
"Sure I'd be happy to come. So what about your family Clare? I mean, I know you mentioned some of your brothers, but are your parents not coming?" she questions as Fitz walks up to the counter. We all smile, but he has another table to serve before he can get to us, so he grabs the food and walks away again.
"No and that's a bad subject. My step-brother knows but is out in BC, my older sister lives in Africa so I've emailed her about us but I'm waiting to hear back, and the brothers I refer to aren't actually related to me, but have been like older brothers since I was about 11. They are the closest thing I really have to family at this point. My dad, and his pregnant secretary, oops I mean wife, abandoned me, and my mom and step-dad know, but my mom was furious. We're working on getting an order of protection against her," I comment.
"Oh that's terrible, I'm sorry your family isn't there for you, but I'm glad you have guys you consider older brothers that are supportive," Gaea comments.
"Ya, they've been more like family to me than most of my family has in a long time. You'll get to meet them on Sunday," I respond as Mark walks up to the counter again.
"Hey Clare, hi Gaea, what can I get you?" he asks.
"Water and a chicken sandwich please," I remark.
"Sprite, and a burger with everything but mayo thanks," Gaea replies and Fitz smiles saying it'll be right up as he walks away to get our drinks. "Do you mind if I invite him?" she asks a little shyly, but I can tell how much she seems to like him.
"Sure, go ahead, but remember this is still private," I remind her. "Oh and the reception will be at Owen's house, I'll text you directions later," I comment.
Mark comes back with our drinks, but Gaea doesn't say anything. I'm curious why, but don't comment. I sip on my drink and then go to the bathroom. When I get back I see Mark at the end of the counter making drinks and Gaea standing on the customer side of the counter talking low.
When they finish Gaea comes back and sits down next to me again. "Fitz said he'd be happy to come," she tells me and I smile.
"I'm glad. So did you just invite him, or did you invite him as your date?" I question with a small smirk.
"After church on Sunday he's going to pick me up and we're going out for lunch together, and then we'll come together to the reception," she remarks, and I'm happy for her. I'm happy for them both actually.
"So you and Mark are going out? That's great," I squeal but stay quiet and give her a big hug.
"Ya, thank you for introducing us," she comments with a big smile.
"You're very welcome," I comment as Mark walks back to the counter grabs food off the kitchen window where it comes up and turns around.
"Here's your food," he comments with a smile, and I see it's directed at Gaea.
"Thanks Mark," I comment and this is what get's him to turn and look at me again. "I hear you're going on a date on Sunday, congratulations. By the way, what church do you go to?" I question.
"Thanks Clare, and I'd be happy to celebrate with you and Owen. I go to Riverdale Alliance church. Why? I thought you went to the Baptist church in Rexdale," he comments with a questioning look.
"Thanks, I'm glad you're our friend again, and I did but given everything with my mom and the fact that Mr. Torres and Owen's dad are working on getting an order of protection against her, I don't want to be there again, so I thought maybe I'd try attending your church," I remark.
"I totally understand that, especially what you told me about her attitude. Of course you're always welcome, and I think you'll like Riverdale Alliance. There's actually a lot of kids around our age," he comments, and I hope this will be a good thing for me. With everything that happened with my mom and how she tried to pass us off as the perfect family in front of the people at her church, where I never really felt comfortable anyway, I think this is a good reason to find somewhere new.
"Cool sounds good, I'll see you Sunday morning," I comment, and he smiles, just as Owen walks in. "Hey Owen, how was your day?" I comment as there's still kids from school here that don't know about us.
"Hey Clare, it was fine. Spent the afternoon with Bianca," he comments walking up. "Hey Fitz, hi Gaea," he says and sits on a stool next to me and then waves to his brother and Maya before fist bumping with Mark.
"Sounds nice. So Mark and Gaea are both coming, and Emma and my brothers, well the ones that are here in town anyway. Fiona and Imogen are probably coming, but aren't sure yet, and I told Adam, who is going to tell Drew and their parents," I comment. "Oh, and Tris says Maya's spending the weekend, so we should probably tell her this afternoon," I mention.
"Ya, Maya was the other person I wanted to tell," Owen tells the three of us, "and I invited Bianca while we were hanging out today," he remarks, and I smile. I finish eating my food and smile at everyone.
"It was fun hanging out, and I'll see you Sunday evening," I tell Gaea, and we lean over and hug. "Bye Mark," I smile, and he walks around the counter to give me a hug. "I'll see you Sunday morning," I tell him.
"Yep sounds good," he smiles and walks back around the counter to get back to work. Owen says bye to them both and gets Tris and Maya's attention heading out to his car. The ride is quiet until we're almost at the house.
"Don't you have to drop off Clare?" Maya questions quietly. She always has been on the shy side.
"Actually Maya, she's coming back to the house. And she and I have something we want to tell you," Owen remarks, looking in the rear view mirror at her.
"Ok," she responds softly, and slightly confused.
I lean over and kiss Owen's cheek because we didn't really get to greet each other properly yet, I feel him smile as I do and then he reaches over taking my hand and interlocking our fingers. I look back and see Maya is even more confused.
"What's going on, are you two dating?" she asks after a moment as Owen pulls into the driveway.
"Actually Maya, Clare and I are married," Owen tells her after he parks. And then turns around a bit so he can see her face too.
"You what? Are you serious? Why would you do that?" Maya questions in utter shock.
"It wasn't planned, but yes Maya we're very serious," Owen comments and then turns my head with his hand and kisses my lips. We pull away quickly and look back at Maya and Tris.
"You actually did it," Maya comments, and this time Owen looks confused. "But why in the world would you two get married? I mean you're my friend Clare, and Owen, you've been like an older brother to me for years, but you guys have only been friends for what, a couple of months?" Maya remarks.
"We've been friends this whole past year actually, but like Owen said it wasn't planned," I respond.
"You have been happier recently Clare, and you guys both look happy now, but when did you do it? And how did it happen?" she asks, and we know we have to explain.
Owen looks at me and I nod. "We got married in Vegas after Bianca and Drew's wedding didn't happen and we were both drunk, and yes we're very happy," Owen tells Maya.
"You got married while you were both drunk?" she calls out and it echoes loudly in the car. "I didn't even know you drank Clare. What were you thinking?" she asks.
"Clare was dealing with some family issues and I wanted to celebrate being done school. We weren't thinking Maya which is why it happened, and we know the consequences of drinking, and hope you guys learn from us, but we're happy with what happened and plan to stay married. And Clare actually lives here now My," Owen tells his adoptive little sister, and I can see his protectiveness coming out.
"You're not shocked by this?" Maya questions turning to Tris.
"They told me Tuesday morning, but asked me not say anything until they could tell everyone they needed to," Tris explains.
"I haven't seen you this week, and I wanted to tell you with Clare. That's why we haven't told you until now My, we didn't forget you," Owen says when Maya turns back to him and looks hurt finding out Tris has known for a few days.
"Ok Owen, I understand. But next time something big happens, please tell me sooner," Maya comments, and I see Owen smile, and then opens his door and gets out, and I see Maya do the same.
"I promise My," Owen comments and then gives her a big hug and she looks much happier.
I watch for a moment from my seat as Tris gets out and then I get out too walking around to their side. "I'm happy for you both," she remarks as she lets go of Owen. "I guess I have a new big sister," Maya comments and I smile as she walks over and gives me a hug. "Oh, so do Jake and Katie know?" she asks pulling away.
"Jake knows, and he promised to let me know if he was going to tell Katie, but he hasn't said anything yet," I comment as we all start walking for the house. We all walk in and Tris and Maya head into the living room turning on the tv as they start their assignment, while Owen and I walk into the kitchen and find Danielle.
"Hey kids, hope you had a good day. Did you tell people about Sunday night?" she questions.
"Yep we told just about everyone I think," Owen comments.
"Do you know how many will be here?" she asks as we sit at the kitchen table.
"Um, well the five of us, the Torres family, so that's 9, Bianca, Mark and Gaea is 12, Spinner, Emma, Lucas, and Jay, so that's 16, and then Imogen and Fiona are both maybes," I answer as I think out loud.
"Don't forget Maya will be here this weekend. Have you guys told her about you?" Danielle asks, lowering her voice slightly.
"Yes we told her just before we came in, but no we hadn't mentioned the reception yet," Owen mentions.
"You should probably do that soon. So what do you guys think of barbeque? I know it's on the simple side, but Noah can barbeque, and we could have chips and desserts and such," Danielle comments looking at us.
Owen and I look at each other. "I have no problem with barbeque. So hotdogs and hamburgers? I don't think anyone will have a problem with that, although we'll need a couple veggie burgers for Emma, but as long as there's raw veggies too she'll be happy," I comment.
"It's fine with me mom, you know I love a good hamburger," Owen smiles. "I guess we should go tell Maya about this," Owen comments and stands up. I follow and we tell Maya about the reception and then head upstairs. Noah is getting home late, and most of us ate at the Dot so it's a fend for yourself dinner tonight.
We get up to what I'm still getting used to considering our room and I decide to check my emails. Nothing all that interesting today, but I should email Jake.
Hey Jake, so my mom knows but went absolutely nuts and dug her nails into my arm attempting to drag me to a judge to get an annulment. And she knows the basics not the details, which now I never plan on telling her. So we're working on getting an order of protection against her. Your dad really wasn't much help at all. So we told Maya today, and she was curious if Katie knew. My brothers, Mark (Fitz) and the Torres family all know, and I'm still living at Owen's until we can get our own apartment. That's the latest here. All the best, love and miss you, Clare xo
I get off my computer and don't really have much homework this weekend. Plus I'm not really into doing it right now anyway. I turn around and see Owen sitting on the bed. He's not really staring, but looking in this direction with a bit of a dazed look, and I notice the door is closed.
(Owen)
"Owen, are you alright?" Clare questions and it knocks me out of my thoughts.
"Ya I'm ok, I was just thinking about something," I comment.
"Want to talk about it?" she asks.
"Actually ya, I think I would," I tell her. I sit back on the bed a bit getting more comfortable. I want her to sit with me but this might make this conversation harder.
"I'm wondering something. We've changed in front of each other a couple of times now, and I love watching you, but when you watch me, it's like you're curious but extremely nervous. You seem to have no problems with kissing, or even cuddling in bed, but anything else seems like it's difficult in a way. I'm just wondering if there's something I can do, or we can do, that might make you less nervous," I tell her.
She bites her lip for a moment and I worry I'm pressuring her again, but she soon releases it telling me, "well I never really got past kissing with any of the guys I dated," and I'm a little surprised. I figured she would have gone further with Eli given how long they were together. "So I'm comfortable with kissing, hugging, holding hands, and when it comes to cuddling in bed, I like being in your arms. You make me feel safe like that, but we're covered as well. There's an intimacy in those things that is loving without being sexual," she explains, and I always want her to feel safe with me, and I'm glad she does in those moments.
"I think if I explain something it might help you understand why I get nervous," she tells me and then moves to sit at the foot of the bed and crosses her legs. "My sister Darcy and I both made our purity vows when we were young. It really had nothing to do with our parent's beliefs, it's what we wanted. But when I was about 12 Darcy went on the Degrassi ski trip and she was raped," Clare tells me and I'm shocked. I knew the school used to do some ski trips in the winter but the trips stopped after my grade 9 year. I never really knew why, but didn't really care at that point. Skiing wasn't my thing anyway.
"Oh Clare that's terrible, I'm so sorry," I say but I'm really not sure how you respond to that.
"It took time and she had a lot of anger, but this was what my parents were dealing with, and why my brothers started looking after me when my parents didn't. They were dealing with Darcy and I understand that now. They are also part of the reason she went to Africa. And I'm sure you know about my drinking with Dallas," she comments, and I don't quite understand the topic switch but she must have a point.
"Ya I know about that, and I've been meaning to ask you why it happened," I respond.
"I was doing my co-op at The Interpreter last year, and my co-op boss was famed journalist Asher Shostack. I tweeted and emailed about my excitement on working with him, but after I had worked there a short time, he was helping me with my newspaper story about Eli's play and he kissed me. I was shocked and didn't know what to do," she tells me, and I can feel my hands starting to ball into fists but I try to remain calm.
"The next day I approached him about it and he apologized and said it was a huge mistake. He was going through a rough divorce and he didn't mean it so I let it go. Later he invited me to city hall and I was excited about the opportunity, but it's one of the stupidest things I've ever done. When we got back to the office parking lot in his car he tried touching me. I tried to get out but he grabbed my arm ripping my shirt and threatened my career if I ever told," she says. I know I'm getting angry now, and I can see the tears beginning in her beautiful blue eyes.
"I went to his boss the next day but he had already told her I had been harassing him, and proved it from the tweets and emails, and she fired me. Dallas saw me the next day and I invited him into the storage room because I was hiding. I couldn't tell anyone I was fired. He gave me the beer and I was upset and drank it telling him about Asher. Apparently Dallas thought I was sending him signals and kissed me. I slapped him and left, but he was angry and trashed Jake's greenhouse, so I wrote the story about the hockey team, and some of the team crashed my birthday party at Fiona's in retaliation. Dallas later apologized," Clare explains, and I'm angry but I'm also worried.
"Clare why are you telling me this?" I ask.
"Because when it comes to guys and being vulnerable I have trust issues. I trust you Owen, and I want to be vulnerable with you, but I'm scared. Eli, Jake, KC, Asher, Glen … my dad, I've trusted them all and been hurt, so I'm not really sure how to cross the line between loving intimacy and sexual intimacy Owen," Clare admits and I wipe away a few tears with my thumb as I calm down some.
"Thank you for being so honest with me. I think it's being open like this that can help further both trust and intimacy," I tell Clare in response. "I never want to pressure you, but I have a way I think might help start to bridge the gap you have between the loving intimacy we share, and the sexual intimacy that is so frightening to you," I explain. "This is a first step and you can always tell me how you feel about something. I know being vulnerable is scary, but I don't want you to be scared with me. Do you trust me?" I ask.
"Yes Owen I trust you," Clare answers and bites her lip, but just for a moment.
"Then I'm going to sit back against the headboard ok?" I ask and she nods, and I move back and place a pillow behind me. "Now I'd like you to take off your shirt, and I promise I'll only watch I won't touch you," I tell her and Clare bites her lip again. "It's just us, and you are gorgeous Clare," I reassure her. She looks up at my eyes as she slowly unbuttons her shirt, and this is the first time she's watched me for more than a moment when I watch her change. She slowly pulls the shirt off when it's undone, and I just stare for a moment at her in her jeans, and dark blue satin bra. "Now I'd like you to take off your bra," I suggest. This time she doesn't bite her lip but I can see nervousness coming back in her eyes as she continues to watch me. She slowly unclasps her bra at the back, and pulls the straps down her arms, letting it fall and I see her breasts fall in their glory as they are exposed. She continues to watch me as I get happier but her face doesn't change too much.
"Can you crawl over here Clare, I promise you're safe, but I also want you to be able to see where you're going so you don't fall," I explain. She bites her lip but I can see her trust as she slowly begins to crawl in my direction and I spread my legs. She gets to between my feet and stops. "Ok that's great now turn around sitting down and slide back against me," I explain. She watches my eyes until she's facing the other direction and slides back a bit, but I put my hands out to stop her before she slides all the way back. "I want you to enjoy this Clare," I remark and then place my hands on her bare shoulders. I can feel her tense for a moment but as my hands start moving in a gentle massage, I feel her body begin to calm.