Day 10: Mexico

EPOV

Yesterday was wonderful. Torturous but wonderful. And the torment wasn't over yet. Two more days.

Usually, Bella is not the one with a high libido. I usually get her in the mood when I need some. Sometimes she comes on to me, but never more than once a week. And now… I knew this sleeping together would end up killing us. Or at least end up in us breaking the rule.

That stupid stupid rule.

I chose not to bring it up again, because if I would notice how horny she was, I would lose control. For sure.

Instead we dug up a lame Mexican CD and played it, to get into the right vacation mood. Today we would cross the border of the county, just to be able to tell everybody when we got back that we drove all the way up to Mexico. And we would eat Mexican food and enjoy some Mexican fiesta.

It was a long drive before we got there, and the Vegas night had worn us out, so in the afternoon, Bella dozed off in her seat. I poked her awake.

"Hey, you really got this Mexican thing down, huh?"

"What?" she mumbled.

"Having a siesta."

"I'm sorry." She sat up a little straighter, committed to stay awake now.

"It's okay, go lay down on the bed instead."

"I'm fine. I'll stay up. You can't sleep either."

"I'm okay, Bella. Go. If you end up sleeping here, you'll need another massage later. And we won't survive that."

She smiled "No, guess not."

She stood up and went to the back.

"Good girl."

While she was sleeping, I couldn't help but wonder about Lauren. I had no idea what to do here. A year ago, I would have declined without a doubt. I never got back together with an ex before. But I never felt lonely before, like I had more often this year. Maybe I was ready for a real girlfriend.

If I had to be honest, Bella was one of the reasons why I was opposed to having one. We both feared that boyfriends and girlfriends would change our friendship. They would demand our time and be jealous of our bond. Lauren did neither of those. I guess she needs freedom as well, I never asked her what she did the hours we weren't together. And she never felt compelled to enlighten me.

When I called her yesterday, she sounded relieved. We didn't talk about second chances, we just chatted away. It wasn't a long talk, but it made me feel good. Perhaps I was growing up, I thought with some sarcasm. I didn't call her today, because now I was scared of my own doubts, but I promised myself to do so tomorrow. If I would chicken out, she had the right to know.

Tonight, me and Bella went all Mexican, over the top. We ate tortillas and drank tequila, we went to local craft market and bought us both sombreros. We danced on mariachi music and drank even more tequila.

We were really proud of ourselves and our Mexican night when we got into bed, joking in our best drunken style Spanish.

When our laughter grew silent I watched her face and I softly brushed some strands of hair behind her ear. She sighed and closed her eyes.

"Two more days," I said.

"Two more days," she confirmed.

"Poor girl." My resolution to not bring up any sexual stuff was gone with the booze.

"Why poor me?"

"Because I can take care of myself."

"You have? I mean, today?"

"Sure."

"When? We've been together the entire day."

"I don't need long honey. And I can assure we haven't been together all day."

"So in the bathroom then? This morning?"

"And afternoon."

"Twice?"

"Can you blame me? After yesterday?"

"Guess not," she smirked.

"So that's why I say poor girl, because you can't, you know? I wish you would let me help you."

"Edward…" she moaned.

"Wasn't the rule just meant for sex? If I can get you off, that doesn't count, right?"

"I believe manual stimulation falls under sex as well. As does oral, 'cause I can hear your brain work."

I groaned.

"I don't get it Bella, if we both want it, why the fucking rule?"

"Because we actually shouldn't both want it. We're friends. Does it never bother you?"

"No. I think I'm the luckiest bastard alive."

"Yeah, me too. But still…"

"Remember that first time I tried to help you? I was so full of myself. You got me right back with my feet on the ground."

She came over to my place, my parents were out of town, and Charlie was working late. Now we were sixteen, she wasn't allowed to sleep over anymore, so she had to be back home by ten, but it was only seven. We put on some music, after devouring the home delivered pizza, and lay back on the bed. Somehow I was bragging again, about how I had made Tamara come three times yesterday. I just couldn't get enough of the powerful feeling it gave me, making a girl shudder under my mouth or fingers.

"I'm sorry, Bella. You probably think I mutated in some kind of man-whore."

"No, that's fine. It's fun hearing you brag. I always thought you lacked self confidence. Now you have too much, it's a nice change."

"I don't have too much. I am still to meet the first woman I can't get off," I answered smugly.

At this her face fell and I could just hit myself.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to…"

"Don't Edward. You know I don't care for that. Tell me more about Tamara."

I could tell she was lying, I know my friend.

"You do care."

"Alright. Maybe a little. But I'm not frustrated or anything. I guess I only want to know what the big fuss is about."

"I think you're just not doing it right."

"Oh hear the expert. Maybe you were just lucky enough to get some easy chicks. They probably even faked it," she spat.

"Hey Bella. That's not nice." I was hurt by her bitchy remark.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure they wouldn't." I never even thought about that. Maybe they did fake. Some were unnaturally fast. Or loud.

I stayed silent and she reached over to place her hand on my face. She does that when she wants to 'see' how I feel.

"I'm sorry Edward. I know they didn't fake, I can hear them talking in the girls bathroom. I just got defensive."

"You don't have to be defensive, I didn't mean anything bad by it. I think you just don't love yourself enough to find out what you really like or to be patient enough."

"Hmmm."

"I could teach you."

"Is this a way of getting into my pants, Cullen?" she joked, not taking me seriously. This was an indecent proposal, why should she take me seriously?

"Not necessarily. I can just explain all different things I've tried, with success, and then you can try them at night."

"I don't think so."

"Or I could show you. I can be really patient, Bella."

"Edward, don't say things like that. Friends don't do such things."

"So what? We're different. I just want to help you out. You can pretend I'm somebody else, and nobody ever has to know."

I was serious about this. But I never imagined her to give in. When she didn't answer my arguments, I saw a crack in her resolution.

"Please let me try? I promise I'll stop as soon as you're uncomfortable."

"I'm uncomfortable now."

"No, you're not. You're interested."

"What if I still can't come?" So is that a yes?

"You said so yourself, it doesn't matter. We are just going to find out what sort of things you like. So you get to know your body better."

"And what do you get out of it?"

"If I can teach you how to get off, I don't have to feel guilty for talking about my incredible success all the time. I promise I want nothing in return."

"So this is just about your guilt?"

"Well, yes and no. You're my best friend. I think sex is the best thing there is, and I want you to have that. If not yet with a boy, than by yourself."

"I don't know Edward. It would be too awkward."

"Come on, you want to. Even if it's just to wipe the smugness right out of me, because you don't believe I can do it."

"You're right, I don't."

I knew she would keep having an answer to every argument I threw her way, so I decided a different strategy. I let my hand slide over her waist, her hip, down her leg to her knee, and then upwards again over het inner thigh. I stopped my hand between her legs, cupping her center through her jeans. She didn't push me away, so I knew she wanted it. I slowly put a little pressure on my hand and rubbed her center with my palm, back and forth. She closed her eyes and sighed, defeated.

"We've crossed the line here, Bella, better make the best out of this then," I whispered in her ear, and sat up to remove her jeans and panties.

I covered us both with a blanket, so she didn't have to feel exposed and I gently opened her knees so my hand could reach her. I figured oral stimulation would be a bridge too far, this is a girl that feels yucky after touching herself. She would not be able to enjoy if she wasn't relaxed, so I started really slow, just stroking her thighs and her hips and her center.

"How does that feel?"

"Feels good," she whispered. It's only just a start, girl.

I leaned back to get some massage oil out of my night stand. Maybe that was the problem in the first place. If we were in for a long rub, I can't have her become too dry and sore.

It appeared that it wasn't the problem at all. Even after thirty minutes of stroking, teasing, rubbing and pumping, she was still soaking wet.

I was painfully hard, but tried to focus on her. It wasn't really necessary to concentrate, she liked about everything I did. I tried all kinds of different moves, soft and hard, fast and slow, deep massage,… She loved all of it, moaning and whimpering, moving her hips against my hand. She was steadily building, but never did I get the feeling that she was close. Every time after a period of louder whimpers and cries, in which I thought if I could keep up exactly what I was doing she would get there, the tension ebbed away again.

And then I would try something different, again rewarded with an ecstatic response, and again it faded.

My arm was hurting bad, I tried to switch positions to reach her from a different angle.

And after the longest time she panted, hardly understandable "Stop, I can't take it anymore. This is too much."

"Am I hurting you?" I asked her worriedly, pulling back my hand.

"No. God no. I just… it's too good, I can't handle it."

"But you're not there yet… You didn't come." My heart sank.

"I don't know. Maybe I did, I did feel some things."

"Believe me Bella, you didn't. You would notice if you did, and so would I."

"Well, I don't mind, I loved it." She took deep breaths to ease the panting, and I lay back on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling and feeling like a total loser.

After a while, she recovered and lay on her side, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I just snorted.

"I clearly remember different things than you do, about that day," she stated.

"Like what?"

"Like you blew me away. And that I wished I was able to do that to myself. Even without release, that was the best feeling I ever experienced."

"Really?"

"Yes, and I told you that too afterwards, several times if I remember correctly."

"I know. I was just sulking with a bruised ego."

"You know how it feels to not let yourself climax just yet, the pleasure gets you higher and higher."

"Yes, but if I don't come in the end, I just end up really frustrated. And it's not worth it."

"Boys and girls are different. That week, I was on a high for days. Now what orgasm can do that?"

"You were probably just horny for days, after that."

"No matter how you call it, I liked it. So you sulked over nothing. Good thing you got rid of that competitive urge now."

"I didn't. I just believe you now when you say it was good. And I let it go."

"That's a start. At least you have tons of screaming girls to repair your ego. Lauren in the first place. Are you two getting back together?"

We haven't talked about Lauren these days. We talk about everything, but I usually take my time processing things first before I discuss them with Bella. If I take too long, she asks me about it, like now. But she never pushes.

"Maybe. Still considering."

"Okay. Buenas noches, mi amigo."

"Dulces suenos, mi amiga."

"Yeah, sweet dreams to you too."

AN: Who are you liking best so far? Edward or Bella?