Stefan's POV

I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. It was the same one I've been having for more than a year now, it was more of a memory than a dream actually, but it was slightly different from what really happened-I always see myself getting out of this house where the party was, I am drunk and I've taken some pills and I am trying to get myself home.

I'm stumbling up and down the streets, cars honk at me, people hit their breaks as they see me trying to cross the road in the worst place possible. I walk for a very long time until the effect of the alcohol and the drugs starts wearing off and I begin to wonder what will happen once I get home and how angry my father will be for being late-I was sure it was after midnight, and then I make a left turn that leads me to this empty street, I can't see a soul out there, only a corner shop on the other side, but it's far away.

I'm calm as I take the first step, I don't expect to hear a sound, it's a quiet night out here and this part of town was surely asleep. And then this jeep comes out of nowhere, I don't even see the lights, because as it turned out later, he hasn't even turned them on, he is speeding off towards me and I only realize what it's happening when he tries to hit the breaks. Then I feel him hitting me, I feel it all and I wake up in pain, groaning and afraid.

This is what happened now too. I had this dream at least twice a week, I am not sure even Damon knew about it. When I look around myself now, I find him sleeping on the couch opposite of mine. I put my hand on my fast beating heart and command it to slow down, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to forget all about the awful dream I had when I hear someone moving next to me and open my arms, thinking it was Damon and I've woken him up after all. But it wasn't him.

"Elena?" I say confused and raise myself up on the pillows as I watch her settle down next to me "What are you doing here?" she was dressed in her PJs and it seemed as if she just woke up. She grabs my hand and squeezes it tight as she gives me a small smile.

Damon's POV

"I heard you tossing" I hear someone's whisper and I open up my eyes. I'm lying on the couch with my back turned to my brother and it takes me a minute to realize that it must be Elena and that Stefan is probably awake. My first instinct is to get up and make sure he's fine, but something stops me and I find myself unwilling to move.

Was it that I wanted to hear what they'll talk about? Was it because I didn't trust him and I wanted to find out more? I wasn't sure, but I didn't move. I stayed like I was, pretending to be asleep

"I came to check out if you're okay."

"I'm fine, it was just a dream" he responds and I hear him move, probably trying to raise himself up "A nightmare actually" he clarifies

"About what?" she asks and her voice is concerned. I wondered how much she actually cared for him if she stood up and came to see how he is after she heard him scream. I noticed that she was worried and confused when we brought him in earlier and when I got him here and made sure he's fine, she asked me a bunch of questions like why is he like that and what's wrong and wouldn't leave me alone until I answered. Maybe there was something going on between them or maybe they just cared for one another. Either way, I didn't mind that.

"The car accident" he responds barely audible, as if he's afraid to even say it out loud, as if he doesn't want to remember anything about it. My heart clenches "I have it every now and then."

"I'm sorry" she says truly concerned "Do you feel better now?"

"What did my brother tell you exactly?" he asks instead with a light chuckle. That's how he covered all his pain, it was an old habit of his

"Almost everything you didn't, I guess." she responds, not at all surprised by his question, but not accusing either. She seemed really calm, unlike Stefan who sounded tense and extremely tired

"And yet you're still here" he says after a minute of complete silence, in which he probably contemplated how to react

"Is that a bad thing?" she asks confused "Do you want me to go?"

"No! Not at all" he hurries to respond and I can hear them move in the dark, he's trying to get up and I barely hold myself down, cause if he even attempts to move I would kick his sorry ass "I just don't…understand that's all."

"What happens now, Stefan?" she asks with a sigh, refusing to give him any proper explanation as to why she is here after she found everything about him, the drugs, running away, leaving school "You're leaving, what will we do? If you even want to do anything at all, that is."

"My brother's taking me home tomorrow" he responds and there is a certain kind of sadness in his words

"Do you want to go?" she sounds curious and worried and I wondered what exactly happened between them

"I don't know" he responds honestly "I really don't" he sighs "I don't want to leave you, but on the other hand…it feels like I have to go. I can't keep running away."

"I see" she just says sadly and I hear him move again

"Elena, I love every minute that we spent together here" he says and I can imagine him smiling "I loved everything about this place, I am being grateful that your mother took me in, that you trusted me enough to hear me out even if I seemed like the worse kid out there, that you are here now after knowing how much wrong I did in my life" he takes a deep sharp breathe and I can't help but wince at this. He sounded awful-his voice was hoarse, he couldn't catch his breath, all because his heart was screwed up. All because I let him screw it up "Most of all I loved kissing you and starting at the starts while lying in the hay, thinking about how beautiful this world is, but-"

"But you have to go" she completes his sentence and he sighs. So I was right after all-there was something between them. Maybe they've fallen in love…maybe it was something they weren't even sure of yet "I understand."

"I'm sorry." he says again barely audible and she doesn't say anything in return, I can hear her lean down and kiss him. For a moment I feel bad for eavesdropping and I realize that maybe I shouldn't have done that, they deserved their privacy, but then again I was Stefan's big brother and I had no idea what's been going with him in the past few months ever since I last visited uncle Luke's house and I wanted to figure out everything that's been going on, because I knew well enough he won't tell me on his own.

"I'm glad your brother's here and is taking care of you" she says next "You need someone like that in your life."

"I really didn't want him to find me" Stefan responds in a minute "He is the reason I left my home in the first place."

"But why?" she asks confused and I tense, but try not to give out in any way that I'm awake and can hear them

"Because I screw things up" he admits with a chuckle "If I've stayed there with him, I would've screwed up his life and I couldn't let this happen. I didn't want him to be the one taking care of me either. I wanted him to have a good life, work on his career and be happy with his girlfriend, not take care of a broken guy like me. He's way better off without me." his confession stuns me even though I've thought about that a lot and I knew that there is a reason for him going uncle Luke's house and refusing to stay, but I always thought it was because mother made him do so, I doubted it had anything to do with me.

"That's bullshit" she responds and feel so surprised from her words "He needs you as much as you need him. You're brothers, that is a strong bond, it can't be broken or change overnight. You'll forgive each other every time you make a mistake, because you love each other too much." she explains whispering afraid not to wake me up and Stefan remains silent, thinking over her words "You running away from him does no good to either of you, it just makes things way more complicated. I saw the way he held you today when you were unconscious. It's the same way my mother held my father's body after he died." I swallow hard as I listen to her and Stefan clears his throat in the dark, probably trying to get himself together as well "He's scared to death of losing you."

"Yeah" Stefan finally speaks up "I don't want to lose him either." he admits and I can hear his voice breaking down" I get scared just thinking about it. He's the only person I have out there. He always has and always will be."

"You go with him" she adds after he takes a minute to compose himself "Fix your relationship. Let him help you and then one day, when you feel you're ready, you can come by and visit me, okay?" she sounds sad and on the verge of breaking down, but I hear them moving in the dark, my brother probably taking her in his arms, kissing her

"That's a promise, Gilbert" he whispers and they stay like this for a while until she decides it's time to get back to her room. I will myself to fall asleep, even though I know Stefan isn't. I can hear him moving on the couch, grunting, cursing silently, but I didn't want to wake up and help him right away, because that meant he'll know I was awake and heard them. Eventually about half an hour after she left, I am about to get up and ask him if he's alright.

And then I heard him sobbing.

I turn around in the couch and almost jump from my place, only to find him with his back to me, shaking under the light blanket, burying his blond head in his pillow.

And my heart breaks for him.

"Stefan" I shake him up a bit, it's very early in the morning and I knew he would hate me for it, but he could sleep in the truck. He's been up all night and I think he finally managed to fall about an hour ago "Come on, brother, wake up" I beg him and he groans, refusing to open his eyes and pushing me away with his healthy hand "Come on, sleepy head we gotta leave" I beg him as I chuckle of his desperate attempts to hide from me. He pulls the blanket up his face and turns his back to me

"Earlyyyy" he mumbles under the blanket "Sleep" his comment makes me laugh, but on the inside I am breaking down for torturing him like that

"I know, but we have to leave while it's still early and not so hot. I don't want you to feel as bad as yesterday, okay?" I explain and he groans again under the blankets, but I know he's not only prolonging that because he's sleepy, but because he doesn't want to leave too.

"I hate you!" he mumbles again as I pull the blanket off of him. I look down at him and realize how small and weak he looks to me, crumpled in two, messy hair sticking in every direction possible, he has lost so much weight since he left me for uncle Luke's house, it wasn't even funny. And it surely wasn't normal-for a moment he seems like a child to me.

"Come on, please. We have to go" I beg him seriously now and he opens up his eyes.

After a few grumpy sighs from his side he finally sits up and then with much effort, manages to get himself up. I am fixing his bag and taking care of all his belongings and I don't even look at him at the moment, but I hear him stagger and when I turn around I realize he's about to fall down so I rush to his side and grab him last minute

"Hey, hey, easy there!" I beg him as he squeezes his eyes for a minute and grabs my arms, holding on for dear life "You alright?"

"Give me a minute" he asks and I nod, keeping him in my arms and waiting for him to regain his strength. He was still as weak as yesterday and it was really scaring me out of my mind.

"Stefan?" I ask concerned after his minute passes and he still hasn't move. He opens his eyes, turns to me and smiles

"Relax, brother, I am just sleepy" he finally says and lets go of me, even though I don't want him to, afraid that he'll fall "Stop being such a grandma all the time!" he jokes and I huff annoyed, but actually, I am scared. I am so scared for him.

I make him take his meds, and finish packing up his stuff in the duffel bag, not that they were many. We went to the kitchen where we had breakfast with Miranda and Elena.

The kids were both quiet and throwing each other sad glances, while Miranda was nervously walking up and down the house, getting herself ready while I was observing my brother and scolding him for not eating too much. I could see he had no strength so I stopped pushing him to do something he didn't want to even if he needed the food.

I let him and Elena go outside and say their goodbyes while I thanked Miranda for everything. She made me promise I'll call every once in a while and said I could bring Stefan down here whenever I wanted. I wasn't sure she would be so open to the idea if she knew there was something going on between my brother and her daughter but I didn't say anything-I didn't think it was necessary.

Stefan had a long road ahead of him and it would be very hard both for him and for me. I knew that he has changed for the better, but I was still worried about him going back to the city. I would have to work most the time and leave him alone and I was afraid he'll do something stupid and get himself into troubles. I had to figure a way to keep him safe.

When I finally get outside on the porch I find the two of them kissing passionately and the minute they hear the door open, the pull away and turn around scared out of their minds. Once they figure that it's not Miranda but me, they relax and even get a little bit ashamed, because they both blush and look away uncomfortably.

"We have to go" I say with a knowing smile and Stefan nods. He's glad that I am not commenting on what I just saw. Elena steps on her toes and gives him one last kiss on the cheek before they separate for probably a long time.

I help my brother get down the stairs, because even that seems to be troublesome for him and once we're settled in the truck and ready to go, I notice him staring at the house. It's a beautiful place, it's not very big, but they have a relatively decent amount of property and the horses were so beautifully grazing in the distance. The sun was already beginning to rise and the house was colored by the sunrays that were announcing the arrival of the new day. Miranda came out just after I've turned on the engine and her and Elena waved one last time before we took off.

I noticed my brother was more silent than ever and he didn't took his glance of the horses and the meadows.

"I want to have such a place one day" he says with his hoarse weak voice that gives me shivers

"A farm?" I ask surprised and watch him nod

"Yeah, I want a small house some property to it, maybe an apple garden or two like uncle Luke's ones and some horses."

"Well maybe one day you'll have that, Stefan" I say optimistically and he chuckles as if he doesn't believe a word I am saying

"I doubt that, brother. But thanks for the encouragement."

"You can do anything you want, kid. Just have to believe in yourself more" I say supportively and he just shakes his head weakly in the seat.

God, he couldn't even sit straight for more than a minute. I was starting to wonder if uncle Luke wasn't right the other day, maybe I should've taken him to the hospital, no matter how much he hated it. But I just wanted to take care of him myself, I knew I could do it and when we go back to the city, I'll make sure he gets the right treatment.

"Maybe" he says with uncertainty as he turns to the window and closes his eyes, resting back on the seat. I look at him and sigh-he was wearing a white t-shirt and I could see the big scar that went from his shoulder all the way down to his elbow.

It was from the surgery they did after the accident when they tried to fix his hand, which couldn't be fixed, not in the way it used to be before at least. He has already sweated and we haven't even been traveling for half an hour. I stretch out and touch his forehead which annoys him and he shakes off my hand

"Hey, leave me alone!" he mumbles sleepy, but I wouldn't let him go so I press my hand to his face, just to make sure that he's fine or at least not as bad as he was before "You're so damn annoying. Are you gonna be that annoying when we start living together?"

"Yes. I only want to make sure you're fine, so stop being an asshole."

"I'm fine. I've been taking care of myself ever since you left for college, so will you stop being such an annoying piece of shit?" he protests and punches me in the shoulder just to get back at me but I know he's fooling around.

"It's different now" I say before I even realize that I'm speaking out my thoughts, something that he shouldn't have heard

"Why? Because I'm so much more screwed up now?" his voice is serious, he's no longer joking "It's okay, Damon. You don't have to worry so damn much. You're getting too soft" he smiles again, but I don't change my expression, I am serious, and tired. And I had to carry his lifeless body in my arms yesterday while I was scared to death. I would never stop worrying about him.

When I take the highway, he falls asleep and I don't wake him up until we make it home. Even then he is tired like hell and still feels so bad, even if he's not admitting it. I had to help him walk and when Bonnie opened the door for us and saw how pale and barely moving he was, she led us straight to his room, or at least his temporary room, this was initially supposed to be the nursery, but we still haven't started renovating it.

I had no idea where I'll put Stefan once we get on this matter and make the preparations for the baby. I guess we'll have to move in a bigger flat. However that wasn't my main concern now at all. It was him and what was I going to do about his condition. When I put him down, he fell asleep almost right away and once I checked his pulse and realized how weak it is again, I swallowed hard and woke him up to give him the rest of his medications. I had to take him to the hospital tomorrow and do my best to give him the best treatment possible. Once he was back on his feet, we could decide how things will proceed from now on.

I sat on the chair next to his bed and observed him, making sure that he was fine. He wasn't even resting in his sleep-he would toss and turn and grunt in his sleep, sometimes he would call out my name or mumble something I couldn't understand and I would hold his hand in mine and squeeze it as if that was going to change something.

I realized that I might've been a doctor, but I had no idea how to help him. There was no way to fix him, not after all the things he did to himself.

He was not himself. He was and never could be the happy energetic boy I remember from my childhood. Now he was looking at everything with some sort of fear, as if any moment someone would hit him or crush him and he had to be prepared, his hands were constantly shaking and back when I've visited them in the farm, Karen said she has nightmares which woke even her up. I couldn't believe that so many things happened to him and that I was unable to change his situation.

But now I was determined to make it right. I had to sign him up for school, at least evening one and I had to set up rules so that he doesn't stray away. He was doing good at uncle Luke's and I had to keep it that way, even if I was working and had barely any time.

I couldn't let him go back to the life he had before. It was time for things to start working out.