It was a force of habit, waking up this early. Suga groaned at his clock, the dull red numbers reading 5:00. On normal days; days when he had to meet Hinata and Kageyama at 6:30, waking up at 5 was just an everyday thing. Because he wasn't actually going to practice, his alarm wasn't set to go off for another hour. Suga sighed and rolled onto his back, blinking up at the ceiling. There was no way he was going to fall back asleep; once he was up he was up for good. With a grunt, Suga pulled the covers back and hopped out of bed, feet landing with a dull thud. He wandered across the hall to the bathroom, stretching slightly before jumping in the shower. The feeling of hot water against his skin felt nice, soothing even. He hadn't showered in the past week; he hadn't really done anything for that matter. He let himself enjoy the feeling of the water a bit longer before starting on his routine. He first washed his hair, the sweet smell of mocha and coffee grounds flooding his still healing nose. He quickly washed his body, then slowly and carefully washed his face. His nose was doing better, the original sharp pain switched with a slight throbbing. He turned the water off and stepped out, water droplets falling gently from his hair. With his towel wrapped securely around his waist, Suga left the warmth of his muggy bathroom and stumbled across the hall to his room. Since he wasn't practicing, he skipped the athletic clothes and instead just put on his uniform.
The mouth-watering aroma of bacon greeted Suga as he left his room. Following the scent, Suga found himself wandering into the kitchen where his mother was cooking breakfast.
"Good morning Koushi," his mother chimed from the stove. Suga muttered a 'morning' in response and sat down at the counter, watching her work. She smiled and slid a warm mug towards him, never looking away from the sizzling pan in front of her. Suga looked down skeptically at the white speckled liquid in the mug.
"Just drink it," his mother chuckled. Suga glanced down hesitantly before bringing the warm liquid to his mouth. The mixture of milk and honey heated his entire body; the cinnamon sugar and nutmeg danced across his taste buds. Suga smiled, large and genuine; it reminded him of his childhood, when his parents weren't away in Tokyo as often.
"I used to make it for you every night before bed. I'm sorry if it makes you sleepy, but I wanted to make it again for old times' sake," his mother smiled, plating the eggs and bacon. She pushed the plate over to Suga and turned back to the kitchen, starting on the dishes. Suga looked down with a sad smile, he missed this. He had become so used to being alone, he didn't realize just how lonely he truly was. Suga ate slowly, he didn't want to repeat what happened the previous day. Luckily, Tsukishima was the only one around; somehow he was able to hold back until everyone was gone.
"Going to practice?" his mother asked as he finished eating.
"I'm not going to actually practice, but as vice-captain I still need to be there," Suga swallowed, pushing his plate across the countertop. His mother hummed as she took the plate, rinsing it off before putting it in the dishwasher.
"Koushi," she announced, turning to face him. "I know that things haven't been easy for you. I know that your father and I haven't been around, but I want you to know that we are now. If you ever need anything, you can talk to us."
"Thanks mom. I'll let you know if anything comes up," Suga explained. His mother nodded in response, turning back to the dishes. Suga stood up and walked to the door, grabbing his bag and putting on his shoes. According to his phone, it was 6:15; if he left now he could meet Hinata and Kageyama for their normal morning practice. There was always a chance that they wouldn't be there, however Suga felt this was unlikely. As he began walking, he sent a quick text to Daichi, letting him know that he would meet him at the gym for practice. For some reason, Suga felt that there was another reason he was going to practice early. Although he didn't want to admit it, there was no doubt that he was using this as a way to ignore Daichi.
"Of course you guys are here," Suga chuckled as he approached the gym. Just as he had expected, Hinata and Kageyama were there, passing the ball just outside of the gym.
"Suga!" Hinata yelled, looking away from the ball and getting hit on the head. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to help you practice," he replied nonchalantly. "I might not be able to practice, but I'm okay tossing to you guys."
"We weren't expecting you," Kageyama muttered, picking up the ball that had rolled towards him after bouncing off of Hinata.
"I said I wanted things to go back to normal, didn't I? This is a normal part of my routine," Suga shrugged. "Now come on, let's go set up."
It felt nice, setting up the gym with the freak duo; it felt normal. In the past week, Suga had learned to really appreciate the small things, such as early morning practices and evening meat buns. These had just been things that he did, normal day to day things that he never thought twice about.
"Suga," Kageyama began as they finished putting up the net. "Why do you come early to practice every day? You said before that you were tired of just helping others, yet you made sure to always be here."
"It's not that I'm tired of helping, it's more that I'm not really focusing on myself. And of course I would be here, you asked me too. I try not to let my personal feelings or opinions get in the way of what I'm doing," Suga replied.
"Why?" Hinata asked, bouncing up behind him.
"Why what?" Suga questioned, turning to face him.
"Why don't you let your feelings or opinions get in the way? Isn't it hard to focus on keeping everything locked away?" he wondered.
"Well, yeah, it's mentally taxing, but I normally handle it well," Suga explained.
"Nobody would blame you if you let down your walls every once in a while. I don't know about the others, but I don't want to see you break down again," Kageyama commented. Suga smiled slightly, whoever would have thought that the King of the Court and his rival setter would be worrying about him? It made him think back to when they first got the practice match invite from Aoba Johsai. Suga wasn't exactly surprised that they wanted Kageyama to play setter, but it just made him realize how far above him Kageyama really was. What did surprise him was when the younger boy told him that he would earn his place as official setter. People really underestimated Kageyama; he wasn't a bad person, he was just awkward and sucked at communication.
"Thanks, that means a lot," Suga responded sincerely. "Now, why don't we practice?"
Their morning practice was, oddly enough, fun. This was odd because for the most part, it mostly consisted of Hinata and Kageyama bickering; but today was different. Together, the three of them were laughing and joking around; it was a rather light-hearted experience. Time flew by quickly, and in no time at all the rest of the team began to arrive.
"Suga," Daichi called as he walked into the gym. Suga took a deep breath and plastered on a fake smile; Daichi couldn't know anything was wrong.
"What's up?" he asked, jogging over to meet him.
"I didn't think you would practice with Kageyama and Hinata," Daichi stated, looking at the other boy.
"I wasn't planning on it, but I woke up early and figured they would be here," Suga admitted, scratching the back of his neck.
"You didn't overdo it, did you? You're not supposed to start practicing again until Wednesday," Daichi scolded, worry in his tone.
"I just tossed to them like I normally do," he replied simply. Daichi had an odd look on his face, probably because Suga didn't tease him for worrying like he normally would. Luckily, at that moment, Tsukishima came in, giving him an excuse to leave the now awkward conversation.
"Tsukishima," Suga waved, going over to meet him. Tsukishima nodded at him in response.
"Morning Sugawara," Yamaguchi greeted cheerfully.
"Good morning Yamaguchi. This is actually good timing, I would like to talk to you later if you have time. It's nothing bad, so don't worry," he clarified after seeing the terrified look on the young server's face.
"You can talk during lunch in the same place as last time," Tsukishima suggested in his normal bored tone.
"Works for me," Suga grinned. He really liked this batch of first years,
"Okay, um, I'll meet you there during lunch," Yamaguchi confirmed.
"Alright," Daichi clapped from the center of the gym. "Let's start."
Practice that morning went rather smoothly. With Suga back, the team felt whole again. Even though he was on the sidelines, his constant cheering and encouragement was felt by everyone. No one truly realized how important Suga was to the team until he wasn't there anymore. It wasn't a good thought, but sometimes you have to disappear before you can truly be appreciated.
"Suga," Daichi called after practice, catching up with him. Suga stopped walking towards the school and waited.
"What? I need to get my make-up work before class starts," Suga barked, his voice harsher then he intended.
"About that. You should come over after practice. I can help you get caught up," Daichi offered, walking next to the setter.
"Daichi!" a female voice cheered from in front of them. Suga looked up to see Michimiya bounding towards them.
"Sugawara, you're back! I'm glad!" she smiled brightly, causing Suga's insides to boil.
"Good morning," Suga greeted through gritted teeth. He hoped they couldn't hear the strain in his voice.
"Daichi, we're still up for later right? I found a really cute little café by the park," she rambled, causing Suga to stiffen.
"Oh, about that, I actually-"Daichi started, getting cut off by Suga.
"It's fine," Suga smiled forcefully. "It will be better for me to work on my own anyway. Have fun on your date," he cringed, walking away from the two volleyball captains.
Why would Daichi offer to hang out if he already had plans? More than that, why was Daichi willing to cancel his plans for him? Suga tried to ignore the warm feeling that coursed through his veins. He needed to stop thinking these kinds of thoughts if he was ever going to get over this. Over him, to be more precise.
If he was being honest with himself, he wasn't sure getting over Daichi was something he'd be able to do.