My thanks in this chapter once again all go towards Frozen Peaches, who has helped me so much! Frozen Peaches, thank you so much for all you patience with me! And that you are willing to read chapters again and again without complaint! I can barely find words for how thankful I am for your help! So I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Secondly, I wish all of you a Happy New Year! I hope the crossing into this new year went well for all of you! And I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter done. I do hope you enjoy reading it and that the contents make up for the long absence!

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, possible OoC-ness, yaoi in later chapters.

All was peaceful and calm in the early morning hours after the party.

That was until Judar awoke not because of his nightmares, but because of a heavy thing hitting the floor with a loud, dull thud. Startled wide awake he sat up quickly, only to realize that it had been Sinbad who had fallen out of the bed. A groan of pain was heard from the large figure beneath the blankets that had settled on the ground.

Slowly, Sinbad emerged, only to close his eyes against the rising sun. With another groan, he promptly slumped back into the shadow of the bed.

"I will never drink again…never…probably…ever…" Mumbling to himself, the king slowly got up, almost dragging himself across the room to the small table where a jug of water stood. Drinking some of it, Sinbad pressed his fingers against his head, massaging his temples. His clothes were disheveled and jumbled and his top slid from one of his shoulders without him noticing – or caring.

Judar exhaled, easing slightly before he got up quietly. And after a moment of consideration, he picked up the blankets of the High King, throwing them back onto the bed.

"Thanks." Sinbad's quiet voice caused Judar to look up to see that the king had turned around. Sinbad looked tired but awake and the smile he gave his Magi was warm. Then he slowly stretched and a small crack was heard across the room.

"I hope I didn't bother you while you slept. Sometimes when I am drunk, I am moving across the bed until everything is askew."

Judar slowly shook his head, his thoughts racing back to what happened before they fell asleep. His throat got dry and he felt his heart clench slightly. He knew that Sinbad remembered, or would remember. The king hadn't been drinking enough to have memory loss. And that meant, that he would insist to talk about it. "No. I…think you were very quiet."

After he had managed to fall asleep somehow, Judar really hadn't been disturbed by the king in any way. Still, his dreams hadn't been very pleasant. However, they also could have been much worse. Judar brushed his hands over his clothes and looked aside, avoiding eye contact with Sin. He didn't want to talk about last night yet…he wasn't ready…he didn't even know where to start or HOW to tell even the slightest, smallest part of the things tormenting him.

Sinbad rubbed over his face and opened his mouth to say something, when someone suddenly knocked on the door.

Confused, the king looked over. "Yes?"

The door opened slowly, revealing one of the guards. Bowing politely, the man turned towards Sinbad. "Good Morning, my king. General Ja'far sends me to tell you that he awaits you in the study. He asks if you could arrive as soon as possible."

For a moment, Sinbad looked troubled, before he breathed a silent sigh. "Of course. Tell him I will be on my way."

The guard bowed again. "I will. I apologize for disturbing you and the High Priest." Quietly, the man closed the door and left Sinbad and Judar in a slightly odd silence.

Sinbad felt like he had missed his moment to say anything and for a second he struggled to say anything at all, before breathing another sigh. This would have to wait then. And if Ja'far was already sending someone for him, then Sin had either overslept or it was something important. He turned towards Judar.

"I will go then. If there is anything you need, you can either tell one of the servants or one of the guards." Going towards his wardrobe, Sinbad halted for a moment. "And, if you are fine with it, I would like to talk with you later. About last night."

Judar swallowed but nodded. "Alright…" Still, his mind was racing. Could he avoid talking to Sinbad about it? It no longer felt fair, after all the things the king had done for him. If only Judar didn't feel so scared.

He was afraid of what Sinbad would think of him, say to him. What if it changed how the king treated him? What if he…by some cruel turn of fate, started to hate him? Or loathed him? Find him less than…clean, pure.

Judar felt his hands turn into fists and he started to feel cold. When Sinbad returned from getting dressed for the day, he halted and looked at his Magi.

"Judar? Is everything alright?" The worried tone of Sinbad's voice snapped Judar out of his swirling thoughts and he quickly nodded.

"Yeah. Just tired." He half lied. He was tired, yes, but only because he hadn't slept as much in the past night. If anything, he was very worried about the talk he would have with Sinbad later.

The High King hesitated for a moment before nodding. He really wished to stay to talk with Judar, but he knew that Ja'far waited for him.

"Then I will leave. You can come looking for me anytime though. Shouldn't we be in the study anymore, we will be in my office."

"I know." Judar straightened slightly and he tried to calm and hide his rising anxiety. "I will look for you should I want to."

More at ease, Sinbad nodded and left the bedroom to meet up with his advisor. No matter what Ja'far needed, Sinbad was pretty sure that this would become a long day.

Judar sat down on the bed as soon as the door closed behind the High King. His whole body felt powerless and slightly shaky. He took a deep and long breath, trying to get his head to work properly. Because somehow, his thoughts couldn't let go of the fact that Sinbad wanted to talk about everything. Every single bad thing he didn't know of. And that Judar feared to remember.

How, just how was he supposed to do it without letting go of every little secret? …or without breaking down?

Gritting his teeth, he sharply drew another deep breath before standing back up. He still had time; he had to look at it from this angle. Maybe there was a way to repay Sinbad for his kindness without having to drag his past out in the open. Not all of it at least. A little bit maybe, just as much as he could handle, but not more than that. It should be possible, right?

Calming slightly, Judar went to get changed, thinking about just WHAT he could tell Sinbad. He didn't want to lie to the king, he really didn't. However, how was he supposed to make Sinbad stop asking without telling him at least something? And how was he supposed to say it without sounding weak?

It also wasn't like Judar wanted to talk about it – because he really didn't – but he felt like he owed it to Sinbad. And…it probably was better than…offering himself like he tried to last night.

At least the High King hadn't realized that Judar had once again tried to offer him sex in exchange for something. The first time it had been for information, for making amends. And yesterday…as an apology and as means to…to thank Sinbad for his kindness in the only way Judar knew of.

Taking a deep breath, Judar stood in front of the bed for a moment, staring at it absentmindedly. His hands still grew colder when he thought about what he had almost done the night before. Swallowing heavily, the Magi closed his eyes, trying to sort everything out in his head. He tried to think of a way to placate Sinbad without having to rip old and only recently slowly healing wounds open. Without having to relive his past.

However, his thoughts just wouldn't calm down and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find a solution that was satisfying. And with every passing second, Judar grew more and more restless, until he felt something snap inside of him. Annoyance and worry both clung heavily to him and he took another deep breath.

He had to get out of here. Not for long, just long enough so that he could sort his thoughts out better. And being here in the bedroom certainly didn't exactly help.

Retrieving his wand – he had gotten it back shortly after his necklace had been taken off – from a table at the side of the room, Judar tapped the tip against his leg, shifting restlessly. He wanted to take one of Sinbad's flying carpets and use it to get a bit of fresh air, to get a new view on everything. Being up high in the sky always helped him – especially now, since he finally could move around as freely as he had always wished to.

Nodding to himself, Judar left the king's quarters in search for the treasure rooms. He would find one of the carpets there and it also wasn't like they were used often. It shouldn't hurt if he borrowed one of them for a while.

Getting to the treasure rooms was pretty easy and the guards that crossed his path from time to time didn't seem to think much about him anymore. Judar really had to say, that the people in the castle accepted him more and more, day by day. And he was pretty sure, that Sinbad was quite a big part of that.

When Judar reached the treasure rooms, he slipped through the first door and looked over the shelves and shelves full of golden treasure. And not an ounce of dust…

Judar found the first carpet pretty easily, since it stood in a corner, rolled up and neatly tied together. Untying the carpet, he threw the roll over his shoulder and felt already better when his hands touched the fabric. He practically could feel the magic humming in the threads.

Once he was outside, he unrolled the carpet, easily jumping on it. A second later, he was up in the air and flew out of one of the huge windows opposite of him.

It helped. Even more than Judar had expected. With growing calmness he watched as the palace grew smaller and smaller beneath him and finally he could see the outline of the ocean that surrounded Sindria.

A stronger wind was blowing up here; strong enough to press his clothes flat against his body and push his bangs completely out of his face. It felt good. Freeing. Like the wind blew not only past him, but into him, through his soul, freeing him from some of the darkness, from some of the heaviness and fear.

His head felt clearer, but also a bit numb. Like it was too easy to not think of anything right now. Because it really was. Judar could easily just float around, not thinking about the world at all. He always used this method when he had been in the Kou Empire and when everything had become too much. When he couldn't stand the life he lived in.

But this was different. His whole situation was different now. However, it didn't change much about how he felt. He dreaded facing Sinbad – or rather, not Sinbad as a person, but his past. He feared what Sinbad would think if he knew even a part of what he hid. Would the High King hate him? Hopefully not. Despise him or find him disgusting? Again, hopefully not.

It was because Judar couldn't tell how Sinbad would react, that he partly dreaded it so much. The other part was that…he never opened up like this. In all his life he hadn't. And he also never had placed such trust in another person before.

It scared him.

Judar never counted on someone before, since no one had saved him when he was a child and no one had saved him since then. Judar was very sure that those bastards of Al-Tharmen had at least SOME idea what had happened to him behind closed doors.

Thinking back on it, they probably even found it somewhat good or practical, since it clearly helped a big deal in making his Rukh as black as it was today. After all, how could his Rukh be white, with so much resentment, hate, and disgust inside of him?

With so many negative things he tried to cope with, with the fear he fought with so desperately, to live his life as normally as he possibly could. To live as good as he possibly could.

So, suddenly relying on someone, telling someone…making himself vulnerable…was scary. More than scary. It was blood chilling and mind numbing, making his hands shake.

And yet, at the same time, he felt like he should say something to Sinbad. Like…he should trust him…prove that Sinbad wouldn't hurt him and stay with him.

Because, frankly, that was what Judar ultimately needed – what he secretly wanted.

Leaning back on the carpet, Judar let his gaze wander up to the sky, watching a big, fluffy cloud lazily float over him. For a moment he also stared at his Rukh, that was fluttering around him, being a mix of his emotions and their effort to sooth him as good as possible.

This wasn't easy and he just knew that it would only become more difficult. But, deep down, he knew that he had already decided what to do.

He would tell Sinbad – not everything, just something. He would tell Sinbad a bit and see how he reacted, see if his trust was well placed. If it was, maybe he could tell a bit more at another time. Just enough so that he wouldn't lie to the High King.

Judar wanted to be honest. He felt like he owed Sinbad at least that much. And when he survived the talk later today, he would look for a means to thank Sinbad. To apologize to him for everything that had happened in the past.

Involuntarily, Judar's hands turned into fists and he grits his teeth. To think he had done all those things…he had been so influenced, so hopeful that war was what he needed, what he sought. And back then, Judar had also hoped that he would win his freedom somehow when they won the war. When the emperor had too much to gloat over, too many spoils of war to drool over to pay any attention to him, maybe then he could just quietly slip away. Out of sight, out of mind.

Who knew, that it wasn't a won but a lost war that would save him? Who knew it would be Sinbad of all people who would hold his hand out to him? That the older man would offer him a safe and respectable life, a free life?

Sighing, Judar rubbed a hand over his face, closing his eyes.

Yes, he trusted Sinbad. Yes, he wanted to tell him, even if it was mostly because he wanted to be honest with him and not because he wanted to drag up his painful past. And yes, it was terrifying to even think about it.

Still, he would do it. Even if it already felt like his heart wouldn't make it.

Not exactly happy with his decision, but more determined than he thought possible, Judar stayed in the air a while longer, using the calming effect of flying for as long as he could. When he felt like he should head back, he slowly lowered himself towards the palace, easily floating through the window he had left through.

It seemed like no one really missed the carpet, so he rolled the thing up rather sloppily and didn't bother with binding it. He would use it soon enough probably. Hey, maybe he could even keep it as his own if he asked.

It was only when he left the treasure room that his nerves started to really kick in. Taking a deep breath, Judar calmed his quickly beating heart down and forced his mind to stay as empty as possible. He already knew anyway that Sinbad would do all the asking and he would answer as truthfully as he possibly could.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to hurry to Sinbad's office at all. Instead, he rather took the longest route possible to get there. And if he was lucky, Sinbad would still be in the study, and that meant another unnecessarily long way. The more time he could buy, the better.

Furthermore, he hoped he didn't meet anyone who wanted to talk to him. He really wasn't in the mood for a conversation, since he barely kept a calm and straight face. Judar was nervous and with every passing corridor he felt his nerves rising and his hands growing colder and colder.

His Rukh flittered close to him and their voices helped him to force himself to stay as calm and collected as he could – not that that worked very well.

When Judar reached the busier parts of the castle, he slowed a bit down, listening to hear if one of the generals was around – he hoped not, as much as he started to become comfortable around them, he really wanted to get the conversation with Sinbad past him, nothing more and nothing less.

It was then when he turned around a corner that he saw that the doors of the library were partly open. And he heard Hinahoho's voice for a moment, before Ja'far answered. Hm…then Sinbad probably was in his office…

Taking out is wand, Judar floated up, easily passing over the door unnoticed – the corridor was luckily empty right now.

"Do you want to accompany us tomorrow?" This time he heard what Hinahoho said.

"I would like to. That is, if I am not disturbing you and your family."

Hinahoho laughed quietly for a moment. "You know she loved you as much as any of us. You always were a part of our family to begin with."

Curiously, Judar halted on the other side of the door, peeking past the open space just enough to see the two generals. Ja'far was putting away scrolls while Hinahoho simply seemed to keep him company at the moment.

Ja'far hesitated for a second, a small smile on his lips. "I know she always said and thought that. And I am glad that it was this way and that you guys gave me the family I always had hoped for. Still…" He seemed to search for the right words. "We usually go at another day, together with Sinbad and the others. Tomorrow…seems like it is the day for your family. To…mourn the loss of a wife and mother."

Hinahoho gently placed a hand on Ja'far's head for a moment, bowing down with a smile. "Then you have every right to come with us, don't you think?"

Quietly, Judar turned away, making sure his steps were silent. He felt like he had witnessed a special moment that was not meant for him. And as much as it left him with an odd and quiet feeling in his chest, he also wondered. What did it mean to have a family?

Sighing, Sinbad stretched his arms out before rolling his shoulders. Ja'far really had been merciless with him, making him cover all the work he had slacked off yesterday, on top of today's work – which he hadn't completed yet. And frankly, right now Sinbad already felt exhausted. Besides, his rumbling stomach kind of convinced him to take a break.

Leaving the study, the High King stopped one of the servants on his way to his office, asking the guy if he could tell one of the kitchen staff to bring some food up as soon as possible.

Sinbad felt already better just thinking about getting a good meal and continued on his way. It didn't take him long to reach the office, but he got quite a surprise when he unexpectedly found Judar standing in front of his desk.

The very same desk a magical blue necklace lied upon on. Yamuraiha must have brought it back after running some tests on it – she had borrowed the necklace for magical purposes this morning, saying she would return it later.

Sinbad closed the door behind himself, walking towards the raven. Judar looked up once Sinbad stepped up beside him. And there was something in those ruby eyes. Something he couldn't quite place and somehow…somehow Sinbad just knew that there was something Judar was keeping from him. And if he could trust his gut feeling – which was rarely wrong by the way – then it wouldn't be a small matter either.

Holding the most serious gaze he ever got from the Magi, Sinbad simply waited for him to make the first move.

"You kept it."

The king nodded solemnly. "I did. It was a condition that I would keep it around just in case when I took it off you. Now Yamuraiha thinks about dissecting it or something similar. We also want to see if we can get some sort of connection to Al-Tharmen from it." Judar still looked him straight in the eye, his oddly grave expression not changing. It looked like the Magi was thinking about something before speaking again.

"You wanted to talk to me today." Something in Judar's gaze changed and he broke their eye contact, looking towards the necklace. A small frown pulled at his face for a moment, before he smoothed the expression over.

For a moment, Sinbad hesitated. Yes, he very much wanted to talk to Judar, but he didn't want to force the raven. Secrets should only be shared willingly, especially if they made the Magi look like he was talking about dying. Or something painful.

"I do." Sin finally answered, nodding towards two chairs beside a small table at the side of the room. "Let's sit down." His work had to wait, this was more important. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time he worked well into the night – but it had been a while since the last time.

Once they sat down, Judar folded his hands into each other, gripping his fingers almost harshly. Then he took a deep breath. "The truth is, I don't want to talk about this. At all."

Sinbad was taken aback for a moment by the honesty of his Magi, before he became concerned with how Judar still avoided looking him in the eye. Or looking at him too much at all.

"You don't have to talk to me." Sinbad felt himself growing even more serious than before. "I want for you to confide in me, out of your own will and because you have grown to trust me." He slightly drew a deeper breath. "But the truth also is that I WISH to talk to you. I wish to know what is going on and I want to help you. Because, Judar, I do notice your nightmares." At that, Judar's head snapped up, his mortified gaze meeting Sinbad's calm one. The High King quickly lifted a hand. "Oh, I mean, you don't wake me up, don't worry. But I often enough witnessed them. And they haven't stopped, right?" Something akin to shame seemed to flicker across Judar's face and he shifted to look at the side again.

Sinbad's expression softened and he couldn't help the clenching of his heart in his chest. His voice came out gentler than before. "Judar, last night, what was going on? What were you trying to say?"

Judar swallowed heavily and quietly took a deep breath. His hands seemed to clench even more, his knuckles turning white. "The thing is…I…" Another frown crossed his face and this time, it stayed. "I…" Judar bit his lip, dragging a hand through his hair. Sinbad noticed with rising concern that the raven seemed to pale until his skin was almost white.

"Judar –"

"Please." Judar interrupted him, lifting a hand. Taking another breath he continued a bit more quietly. "Please, let me finish speaking."

Closing his mouth, Sinbad nodded, sitting up slightly straighter.

"I wanted to thank you, last night, I mean." Judar sounded like he tested the words out himself, like he was unsure he was saying it correctly. "You…I guess you don't even realize what…how, just how much you have helped me."

This time, Judar looked up and Sinbad felt his breathing stop for a moment when he saw the barely concealed emotions swirling in those ruby orbs. "Judar…"

"I talked to Ja'far at the party and he was right about a few things, you know? Like, I haven't even told you once that I am grateful, that…that I am even…" His voice grew so quiet, Sinbad almost didn't catch the next words. "I am sorry for so much."

Before the king could even move, Judar continued, hurried, like it would be easier to get everything out like this. "I know, I know how I have been, believe me, I didn't just simply forget everything." In fact, Judar didn't forget a single thing. His words, his actions, were ringing more clearly than ever through his head. "And the least I can do from now on is being as honest with you as possible. But…" He hung his head, his hands starting to tremble. "I don't know if I can."

Sinbad mulled about this for a moment, before he moved closer towards the raven. "Judar, can you look at me, please?"

It took the raven a few seconds until he could comply with the request. His red eyes were somewhat guarded, like he prepared himself for something invasive or bad. Sadness welled up in Sinbad, along with a little stinging pang in his chest.

"Relax", he almost whispered. "Judar, the last thing I want to do is force you to do anything. Or to hurt you. Can you believe me in this?"

"I want to." Judar ground out, holding Sinbad's painfully honest gaze with difficulty. "I really, really want to, believe me. It's just…I never had someone to rely on." There, a small part of the big, horrible truth was out. And…Judar almost didn't dare to accept how relieving it was to get rid of a bit of the burden. To place it with someone he…trusted.

Sinbad, meanwhile, understood just how heavy the implication was behind that sentence. "Judar, what are you afraid of the most right now?" At this question, the raven could no longer hold the eye contact. His body seemed to tense up impossibly.

"I am afraid that you will hate me. I am afraid that I will…tell you things." He paused for a long, heavy moment, before finally continuing in a whisper. "I am afraid that I am not strong enough for this."

A knock on the door broke the silence before Sinbad could answer. Sighing quietly, the king gave the permission for the other person to enter – he already knew what it would be about. And really, like he had requested earlier – his hunger was more than forgotten by this point – was food delivered to his office. The only relief was that the servant quickly left after placing the meal down on Sinbad's table, excusing himself quietly and closing the door behind him.

Turning his attention back to Judar, Sinbad hesitated for a moment. The truth was that he still had no real clue what was going on. He still could only puzzle over what it could be without being sure. There was just this one thing he had to be sure of before he would continue questioning his Magi.

"Judar, I would like to know what it is that makes you afraid, that keeps you from sleeping well. Do you think you could tell me if I asked?"

A short, humorless laugh escaped the raven. His shoulders slumped. "It isn't about if I can tell you, Sinbad. I…can't refuse you in this. Not after everything you have done for me –"

"Yes, you can." Sinbad almost regretted using a harsher tone when he saw how Judar tensed up. Calming down, he continued. "I want you to forget everything I have or haven't done. Just like I want you to forget what you have or haven't done, be it now or in the past." But he knew even while he talked, that it wouldn't be easy. "Besides, I already told you, didn't I? Protect this country together with us; that is all the compensation I ever want."

"How can that be enough…"

Leaning back in his seat slightly, the High King thought about his next words carefully. "I…want you to know, Judar, that I have long forgiven anything you have done."

"Even after all I did? And after how I ridiculed you for even thinking about offering help to me the last time I broke into Sindria?"

Somehow, Sinbad couldn't help the feeling that this issue was bigger for Judar than he had thought at first. Then all of a sudden, a horrible realization dawned on him. That first night in his tent, back then when Judar had just been handed to him…trying to compensate whatever he did with…well, offering his body…

"Judar…" Sinbad found his voice impossibly gentle and – just like he hoped – without any condemnation. "Did you try to offer yourself last night? Like you did when Kou lost the war?"

His heart ached all over when he saw Judar tensing up, completely avoiding even a look in his direction. The truth was, the king wasn't sure what to make of this, what to think of it. Only that…

"Was that what you also did in Kou?"

With a quick, almost fluid movement, Judar was up and out of his seat, nervously pacing. He looked torn between running away and staying. By now he was even paler than before, as pale as one would imagine a ghost to be.

Sinbad, meanwhile, was frozen in place. Every muscle of his body was pulled taunt and tense as his mind finally snapped some parts of this puzzle into place. That was, if he was right about everything. But how could he not be? His hands twitched, balling into fists, before the king found the rational part of himself again, forcing his body to relax slowly.

He had no time right now to get angry or upset, not with Judar becoming frantic and looking so…so scared. Still, it pained Sinbad to even voice his next question.

"Judar, were you, at any point, forced to do this?"

Judar stopped dead in his tracks, his whole body tense and twitching like he was fighting the urge to run. Then, all of a sudden, all strength seemed to seep out of his body and he looked more fragile than ever before. His gaze became haunted and pained.

"You…weren't supposed to find out. You were supposed to be as stupid as I always wanted you to be…" Judar's breathless voice sounded cracked, as if he was either close to tears or like he was close to breaking down.

For a long, cruel moment, Sinbad felt like he forgot how to breathe. Like the world suddenly turned the other direction, hitting him full force in the chest. His mind was numb, only processing slowly that yes, indeed, his sudden, horrible hunch had been right.

And now everything made sense in its own twisted, cruel way. The flinching, the nightmares, the first sleepless nights of Judar, the suspicion and that constant nagging feeling at the back of Sinbad's mind that yes, something was wrong. He just hadn't known how terribly wrong.

It was only when Judar glanced at him and their eyes met, that he realized how silent the younger one had become. And that look in Judar's eyes seemed to shatter him to the ground, leaving him to realize just how vulnerable the raven was right now. How scared and lost and afraid. Suddenly, his comment about having no one to rely on felt so much sharper and colder.

Slowly, Sinbad extended his hand towards Judar, watching how his red eyes followed the movement with mixed feelings. He had never seen the Magi this open with his feelings before.

"It's okay." Not even Sinbad himself was sure what exactly he meant with that. "Judar, please tell me what you think right now…" Because he had no clue. Despite seeing so many emotions on his face, Sinbad had no clue what he should do next.

"You don't hate me." It wasn't a question, but it was uttered with such disbelief, it almost caused Sinbad to leap up from his seat to crush the Magi against his chest, never letting him go again. "You…you don't find me…despicable…?"

"Never." Sinbad found his own voice cracking slightly around the edges, sounding rougher. "What makes you think that this would change you in my eyes? If anything, I see that you…that you are so much stronger than I thought you were…"

A first, hesitant step was placed in his direction and the king found his resolve hardening. He wouldn't let Judar down on this, no matter how much he himself still felt shaken up.

"I never wanted it…" Judar's voice broke at the end as hope and fear seemed to battle themselves in his mind, being given away by his eyes.

"You never had a choice, right?" At Sinbad's gentle words, Judar placed another tense step in his direction.

"No…I didn't…even know…didn't understand…" The Magi inched closer again, daring to take another step as his body started to tremble. He was close now. So much closer…

"It's over now." Sinbad found himself whispering, unable to look away from those shiny, red eyes. Eyes that seemed to ask what Judar couldn't bring himself to. "You're safe here." The hope seemed to grow stronger. "You are safe."

Another step and Judar was in front of him. But now, his body seemed rooted to the spot, tense and shaking, his hands in fists by his side. "I don't ever want to go back."

"You don't have to. Never again." Sinbad raised his hand carefully, slowly, lightly touching the curve of Judar's shoulder. "You don't have to worry anymore. It's okay."

A trembling hand came up to grip the hand the king still had stretched out, holding on tightly with ice cold fingers.

"I promise", Sinbad said seriously. "No one will ever hurt you like this again."

Judar closed his eyes, his body still tense. Then he bowed down a bit, pressing his hand against his face without letting go of Sinbad.

"You weren't supposed to know…" His voice shakily said.

"I know." Hesitantly, then slowly, Sinbad stood up, careful not to startle the raven. "But now I know. And I won't let you down. Tell me how to be of help, Judar."

"I don't know. I don't know what to do now that you know." The Magi sounded as if he was crying, still hiding his face behind his hand.

"Then, what do you think about figuring it out as we go?" Sinbad reached out with his free hand, gently running his fingers through soft, black hair. Relief washed through him when Judar didn't flinch. Then his voice grew serious. "Rely on me. Lean on me. And if you want to, trust me. I won't leave you alone in this, with this."

A shuddering breath caused the body of the raven to tremble before he let his head come into contact with Sinbad's shoulder, still tense, still ready to pull away.

"I want to…I want to trust you…"

"Then do it. I will prove to you however long necessary that you won't regret it."

For the longest, heaviest moment he got no answer. Judar stayed completely still, aside from his tense body trembling slightly. And then, when Sinbad almost thought it to be over, did the tenseness slowly seep out of Judar. A second later, Sinbad got his answer in a quiet voice that seemed to have gained a bit of ground back again.

"Okay."