No Boundaries Chapter 10: Auditions, a glee fanfic

A/N: Super quick: READ THE LYRICS! I know some of you don't like songs, but they're important in this chapter unless you know the song.

"Are you nervous?" Quinn asked as they took their seats in the back of the auditorium to watch the auditions.

"I'm actually rather intrigued to see what everyone else is singing." Quinn smiled, obviously thinking Kurt was taking her advice on waiting to decide about Noah based on his audition.

"I can't believe Mr. Schue is agreeing with Jesse in this case," Quinn changed the subject, shaking her head. Kurt definitely agreed. As if they didn't fight over solos enough, now Mr. Schue was giving them a battleground.

"We're ready for the first contestant," St. James announced into his microphone. Why he was allowed to have a microphone, Kurt would never understand.

Santana wasted no time in responding, glaring up at Jesse with obvious dislike. "My name is Santana Lopez, and I will be singing Adele's Rumour Has It."

She, she ain't real,
she ain't gonna be able to love you like I will.
She is a stranger,
you and I have history,
or don't you remember?
Sure, she's got it all,
but, baby, is that really what you want?

Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds.
You made a fool out of you,
and, boy, she's bringing you down.
She made your heart melt,
but you're cold to the core.
Now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore.

Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.

She is half your age,
but I'm guessing that's the reason that you strayed.
I heard you've been missing me,
you've been telling people things that you shouldn't be,
like when we creep out and she ain't around...
Haven't you heard the rumours?

Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds.
You made a fool out of me,
and, boy, you're bringing me down.
You made my heart melt, yet I'm cold to the core,
but rumour has it I'm the one you're leaving her for,

Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.

All of these words whispered in my ear
tell a story that I cannot bear to hear.
Just 'cause I said it don't mean I meant it.
People say crazy things;
just 'cause I said it, don't mean that I meant it,
just 'cause you heard it...

Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.
Rumour has it, ooh.

But rumour has it he's the one I'm leaving you for.

"I'm impressed," Quinn whispered to Kurt, and he had to agree. As over-hyped and occasionally obnoxious as Adele was, the song fit Santana's voice, and she was clearly singing it to Puck.

"Fantastic, Santana," Mr. Schue praised, his faint clapping the only sound in the room.

"Thanks so much for coming in," was all St. James said, leaning forward into his microphone like a reality show host and then leaning back with a (presumably) smug expression.

"Wait, that's all you have to say? You spent to entire performance scribbling notes!" Santana objected, looking pissed.

"Well, if you really must know, I was simply writing down that I don't think your performance went very deep into the emotional truth of the song. In addition, you had absolutely no choreography, and spent the entire performance standing in the exact same spot, staring into the distance with the same blank expression you're giving me know," St. James said as though annoyed. Santana looked... displeased, to say the least.

"Oh. Is that so? You think you have any idea of what that song means to me, you're brain's leaked out through your ears. I did a damned good job of singing. I happen to have some feedback for you, St. James," Santana replied, practically snarling.

"Thanks, Santana. That's all we'll need," Mr. Schue cut her off quickly. Kurt rolled his eyes. As if St. James didn't deserve his comeuppance in the form of vicious words from a bitch like Santana and several, consecutive kicks to the balls.

"Estoy yendo a ir todo Lima Heights hasta en aquí," Santana promised in Spanish before marching off the stage.

"Th-thank you," Mr. Schue stuttered. "Next."

"I'm Lauren Zizes, the most badass chick on the planet, and I'm going to be singing When I Grow Up by the Pussycat Dolls." Kurt would have paid a large amount of money to see the expressions of their judging panel at her introduction. "These are my back-up bitches." Brittany and Tina emerged from the curtains and hovered by Brad.

Boys call you sexy,
and you don't care what they say.
See every time you turn around
they screaming your name.

Just call you sexy,
and you don't care what they say.
See every time you turn around
They screaming your name.

Now I've got a confession.
When I was young, I wanted attention,
and I promised myself that I'd do anything,
anything at all for them to notice me.

But I ain't complaining.
We all wanna be famous,
so go ahead and say what you wanna say.
You don't know what its like to be nameless,
want them to know what your name is,
'cuz see when I was younger I would say:

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick
When I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for
'cuz you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

They used to tell me I was silly,
until I popped up on the TV.
I always wanted to be a superstar,
and knew that singing songs would get me this far.

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick
When I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for
'cuz you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

"Oh, good God!" St. James yelled. "Cut the music!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole? I wasn't done," Lauren snapped, looking rather threatening in all black motorcycle garb. If Kurt had to guess, it would be a tribute to the album Doll Domination's cover.

"Whoever told you that you could sing at all was completely deaf. There are torture forms that sound better than this. I never thought I'd hear a worse singer than Finn in this group, but you have proven me wrong," St. James ranted, hands over his ears as if they were bleeding.

"Jesse-" Mr. Schue tried to intervene, but St. James cut him off.

"You're presence on that stage is like poison seeping into the hearts of the talented people that once stood upon it. Please remove yourself from my line of sight." Ouch. St. James' words were harsher than necessary. Lauren was far from the best singer in the group, but she wasn't as awful as St. James made her seem. Drama Queen.

"Fuck you," Lauren stated, walking off the stage in the same direction Santana had.

"It's my turn," Quinn said in the silence left by Lauren's exit. "Wish me luck."

"Always," Kurt promised as Quinn headed for the stage.

"Hello. My name is Lucy Quinn Fabray, and I will be singing Idina Menzel's Gorgeous." Kurt raised an eyebrow at Quinn's unusual choice. It seemed more his or Rachel's wheelhouse than Quinn's...

"Finally, someone with taste," St. James commented, loud enough to be picked up by the microphone but soft enough that he could pretend it was a private statement.

In a perfect world, in another time,
In a far off place we wouldn't need to justify
everything we are, and all that we believe.
We could finally be whoever we both want to be
And when we can't be heard, and when we can't be seen
I will call you close and you will reach for me.

When all of the beauty turns to pain,
when all of the madness falls like rain,
as long as we crash and we collide,
we will be gorgeous, you and I.

Through the window pane, through the bedroom door,
this city wants to fight, tut it can't touch us anymore.
We have come so far, we have shed our skin
The more that's taken from us now, the more we have to give.
And when we can't be heard, and when we can't be seen,
I will call you close and you will reach for me.

When all of the beauty turns to pain,
when all of the madness falls like rain,
as long as we crash and we collide,
we will be gorgeous, you and I.

And when we are drowning in the noise
I'm gonna stop to hear your voice
As long as we crash and we collide
We will be gorgeous, you and I.

We'll be gorgeous
We'll be gorgeous
In the perfect time
We'll be gorgeous

And when we lose our faith, in all that's beautiful
You lift me to this place, ohh.

When all of the beauty turns to pain,
when all of the madness falls like rain,
as long as we crash and we collide,
we will be gorgeous, gorgeous, yeah.

And when we are drowning in the noise,
I'm gonna stop to find your voice.
As long as we crash and we collide,
we will be gorgeous, we will be gorgeous,
you and I.

And when I lose my faith, I don't know what to do
You lift me to this place, and make me feel so beautiful
As long as you're right here by my side
We will be gorgeous, you and I.

The song was exactly in Rachel's wheelhouse, and Rachel's range, for that matter. Quinn's version didn't sound... bad, per se, but it was obviously a strain for her voice. It was clearly an attempt to impress Finn by measuring up to Rachel. The effect it had... Kurt couldn't say.

"Interesting. You must know, of course, that Idina Menzel is an incredible talent and a Broadway legend not unlike the ever famous Patti LuPone and Ethel Merman, correct?" St. James asked. Kurt could tell by the familiar tone (he used it himself quite a bit) that St. James was using a poker face.

"Correct." Quinn held her head high and didn't look nervous in the least.

"And you are aware, naturally, that Idina Menzel is quite the soprano, which is the natural range Gorgeous is in, as opposed to a wavering and easily-forgettable alto?" St. James asked in that same silky-smooth tone.

"Naturally." Now Quinn's voice contained a hint of venom, realizing she was being called out on her imitation attempt.

"And you realize that Idina Menzel's signature song is none other than Defying Gravity, a song that, if I am correctly informed, was covered by not one, but two people in this club, both belters of incredible range?" Quinn's mouth tightened, obviously growing tired of the very smooth inquisition.

"Yes. Kurt and Rachel both did a fantastic job of covering that song." Quinn put plenty of emphasis on the 'both,' obviously trying to get a rise out of St. James.

"I am afraid, my dear, that you simply do not have the power or vocal control to sing Gorgeous, or be the lead at Nationals. I admire your attempt. Next." St. James ducked his head to his sheet of 'notes' (Kurt could see they were doodles from his high position), leaving Mr. Schue to try and calm an subtly-enraged Quinn.

"You were phenomenal, Quinn. Hearing you sing that song reminded me of your funk number. I'm very impressed," Mr. Schue tried to placate the internally-fuming blonde.

"Thank you, Mr. Schuester. Jesse," she addressed him shortly before following the same route offstage. Back to the choir room, Kurt supposed.

"My name is Mercedes Jones," Mercedes said loudly into the microphone, causing St. James to jump, which was obviously her intention. "I will be singing Take It All by Adele." Judging by her expression, she was clearly thinking 'damn that bitch, Santana, for stealing my idea.'

Didn't I give it all, Tried my best,
Gave you everything I had, everything and no less?
Didn't I do it right? Did I let you down?

Maybe you got too used to by having me around.
Still how can you walk away from all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road without me right here.

But go on and take it, take it all with you.
Don't look back at this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love,
Take it all with my love.

Maybe I should leave to help you see:
Nothing is better than this and this is everything we need.
So is it over? Is this really it?
You've given up so easily, I thought you loved me more than this.

But go on and take it, take it all with you.
Don't look back at this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love,
Take it all with my love.

I will change if I must.
Slow it down and bring it home, I will adjust.
Oh if only, if only you knew, everything I do is for you.

But go on and take it, take it all with you.
Don't look back at this crumbling fool.
Just take it all with my love,
Take it all with my love.

"Wow, Mercedes, I am impressed. Not only was your belting incredible as always, but the tone of your voice was so rich," Mr. Schuester complimented.

St. James leaned forward, steepling his fingers. "A good performer, you will learn, should always have a back-up song in case of accidental repetition of artist or album. I would have thought the entirety of your club would have learned this after your very first competition. Over and over, I am being shown that I overestimated you all."

"My version sounded a hell of a lot better that 'Tana's, so shut your trap!" Mercedes snapped from the stage, upset that St. James had pointed out what she must have realized as soon as Santana spoke.

"Another similarity I noticed between your performance and Santana's was the lack of choreography. It's almost as if you planned it." Kurt could hear the smirk in St. James' voice. "Tell me, Mercedes, how many times did you practice this number?"

"Practice? No, I feel my material, and I sing with emotion. I'm in the moment, Mr. St. James. I don't need to practice." Kurt almost groaned. It was not the time to stand up for her belief in free-spirited performance.

"You're not a star. You're just a girl who can really sing. I don't think you want this badly enough. You're lazy, Miss Jones," St. James said, that damned poker face back.

"Not too lazy to come up there and let you taste my fist!" Mercedes retorted. Kurt was sure at this point the only reaction that would get was a half-hearted protest from a now-very-frustrated-looking Mr. Schue and cheers from the waiting auditionees.

"Whoever gets this solo is gonna have to work on it day and night. Do you think you're ready for that?" Met by silence on the stage, Jesse leaned forward again. "Exactly. Next."

Kurt could half-hear whispers from the judges as Finn clambered up onto the stage, opting against using the stairs. Somehow, waiting and watching St. James rip everyone to shreds was causing Kurt to get nervous. He hadn't felt nervous in the face of a performance since he auditioned at Dalton... and if that didn't send a race of pain though his heart, he didn't know what pain was. Perhaps Rachel was right. He needed to fix himself before he attempted any other relationship, especially one that would be tenuously-formed over a long period of time with someone who was straight.

"Uh, hey, Jesse, Mr. S. My name is Finn Hudson, but you knew that, and I'm singing Waiting for a Girl like You by Foreigner."

So long, I've been looking too hard, I've been waiting too long
Sometimes I don't know what I will find
I only know it's a matter of time
When you love someone... When you love someone...

It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too.
Maybe I'm wrong, won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong?
This heart of mine has been hurt before. This time I wanna be sure.

I've been waiting, for a girl like you to come into my life.
I've been waiting, for a girl like you and a love that will survive.
I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive.
Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life.

You're so good, when we make love it's understood,
it's more than a touch or a word we say
Only in dreams could it be this way
When you love someone... Yeah, really love someone...

Now I know it's right from the moment I wake up till deep in the night.
There's no where on earth that I'd rather be than holding you, tenderly.

I've been waiting,
waiting for you, ooh.
Ooh-ooh, I've been waiting.
I've been waiting, yeah.
I've been waiting for a girl like you, I've been waiting.
Won't you come into my life?
I've been waiting for a girl like you.

"Well, I must say," St. James began before Mr. Schue could get a word in, "you chose a song that fit your voice very well." Finn brightened like the sun, and Kurt winced. Finn loved praise, but he wouldn't fare as well as the girls had under St. James' criticism. "However, your song choice was very in-the-box and typical. There was no originality or surprise to enrich the performance. You came onto the stage, not in the way I expected, I might add," Finn blushed and fidgeted slightly at the mention of the stairs he had forgotten, "but sang exactly the kind of song I expected you to."

"Jesse..." Mr. Schue left a trailing warning.

"Let's just get this out in the open. You auditioned for this part wishing to woo one of the two girls left in the wings." Kurt's face burned. Rachel was the only girl left. "Which, I have no clue, and it is none of my concern. However, both of them far exceed your vocal potential, and you can't hope to keep up with either of them vocally. Drop this ill-fated attempt, and fade back into the background where you belong." Finn looked stricken and Kurt made a mental note to bring him warm milk later. "Next." For once, Mr. Schue offered no comment.

"Dude..." Finn seemed about to protest but left it alone, exiting the stage by the stairs.

"Uh, hey, I'm Sam Evans, and I'm singing Tonight by FM Static." Kurt had to marvel at how unintentionally alike their introductions were.

I remember the time we spent together on those drives,
we had a million questions all about our lives,
and when we got to New York everything felt right.
I wish you were here with me... tonight.

I remember the days we spent together were not enough,
and it used to feel like dreaming, except we always woke up.
Never thought not having you here now would hurt so much.

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,
and every night I miss you I can just look up,
and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight,
and all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait.
I remember the car you were last seen in and the games we would play,
all those times we spilt our coffees and stayed out way too late.

I remember the time you sat and told me about your Jesus,
and how not to look back even if no one believes us.
When it hurts so bad sometimes not having you here, I sing:

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,
and every night I miss you I can just look up
and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.

I sing: Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,
and every night I miss you I can just look up,
and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.

Sam looked incredibly uncomfortable under St. James' gaze in the silence that followed his performance. "You know what a Vocal Adrenaline member would call that song?" St. James finally asked.

"No, sir," Sam answered formally, and the auditionees waiting rolled their eyes, Rachel very carefully sitting between Kurt and Puck.

"Fluff. An entertaining, yet meaningless and mediocre work that is sung for private serenades or vocal practice only," St. James answered. "Samuel, you have talent. You squander it with pieces of 'art' such as this, modern attempts at a heartfelt ballad. Frankly, I am disappointed the most in your song choice."

"Your singing was very good for what you chose," Mr. Schue added helpfully.

"However, I have one more problem with you. A frontrunner must be someone with stage presence, someone bold and memorable who is not afraid of their talents. You have no stage presence, even now that I have said this you are shrinking away from my mildly-intimidating gaze, and, to be frank, you aren't memorable." Jesse leaned back.

"Next," Mr. Schue said, sounding tired and frustrated. Kurt felt both pity and vindictive satisfaction. It was his fault for involving Jesse St. James in anything.

"Wish me luck, princess," Puck said, loud enough for the judges to hear and not caring, ignoring Rachel's frantic quieting gesture. Kurt nodded once at his friend, and forced a smile onto his face.

"Shalom! I'm Noah Puckerman, and I'll be performing No Boundaries by Kris Allen." Kurt's eyebrows almost jumped off of his forehead. Kris Allen was not in Puck's repertoire.

Seconds, hours, so many days,
you know what you want but how long can you wait?
Every moment lasts forever
when you feel you lost your way.

And what if my chances were already gone?
Started believing that I could be wrong,
but you give me one good reason
to fight and never walk away.
So here I am, still holding on...

With every step you climb another mountain,
every breath it's harder to believe.
You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
to get to that one thing.

Just when you think the road is going nowhere,
just when you almost gave up on your dreams,
they take you by the hand and show you that you can.
There are no boundaries!
There are no boundaries!

I fought to the limit to stand on the edge.
What if today is as good it gets?
Don't know where the future's headed,
but nothing's gonna bring me down.

I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line,
I've risked being saved but I always knew why,
I always knew why!
So hear I am, still holding on!

With every step you climb another mountain,
every breath it's harder to believe.
You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
to get to that one thing.

Just when you think the road is going nowhere,
just when you almost gave up on your dreams,
they take you by the hand and show you that you can...

You can go higher, you can go deeper,
there are no boundaries above and beneath you.
Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you and your dreams...

With every step you climb another mountain,
every breath it's harder to believe!
Yeah! There are no boundaries!
There are no boundaries!

With every step you climb another mountain,
every breath it's harder to believe!
You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes...
There are no boundaries!
There are no boundaries!
There are no boundaries...

"Oh my God." "Oh my GaGa." Rachel and Kurt looked at each other, identical expressions of shock meeting. Both were completely blown away by the performance Puck had just given, so unlike his normal, yet so strong and powerful.

"Kurt? Was that... for you?" Rachel asked quietly while the judges were still in shock.

"I... I don't know, Rachel." It very well could have been. The song was a song of healing. No matter what happened, you could do anything. There are no boundaries on what you can do in life, no matter how you've been hurt. You can always reach your dreams. They were the very fundamentals Kurt tried to live by, and the one's he needed the most now. "It couldn't have been Rachel. Noah wouldn't have thought the song through that far. Must just be a coincidence." Kurt realized how weak that sounded, but Rachel didn't comment.

"Wow, Puck," Mr. Schue broke the silence at the judges table. "I've never heard you sing like that. Your voice sounded so... open, so honest. The best comparison I can make is when you and Rachel sang Need You Now, but that doesn't even come close. I am very impressed."

"You aren't much of a belter though," St. James cut in with the criticism. "No Boundaries, originally sung by American Idol Cycle 8 winner Kris Allen and covered by American Idol Cycle 8 runner-up Adam Lambert, is intended for strong male belting voices. Unfortunately, the only male belter in this club is in a wheelchair. You did an admirable job of covering the song without belting, but your performance didn't truly cover up your weakness. Next."

"Fuck off, St. James, no one wants you around here anyway," Puck responded, flipping the irritating man off before jumping off the stage in a very Slick-Rick way.

"Good luck, Kurt. I hope for an honest and fair competition between the two of us as the best singers in this club," Rachel said, quickly but solemnly.

"Thank you, Rachel." Kurt headed for the stage, ignoring the way Puck tapped his arm to get his attention.

"My name is Kurt Hummel, and I will be singing Bound to You from the movie Burlesque, originally sung by Christina Aguilera." Kurt took a deep breath and focused, narrowing in thoughts of Blaine which fueled the anguish of the song and trying to push Puck out of his head. He didn't fail to notice the rest of the auditionees sneak back in to watch his and Rachel's performances.

Sweet love, sweet love
Trapped in your love
I've opened up, unsure I can trust
My heart and I were buried in dust
Free me, free us

You're all I need when I'm holding you tight
If you walk away I will suffer tonight

I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I'm bound in chains?
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to you

So much, so young
I've faced on my own
Walls I built up became my home
I'm strong and I'm sure there's a fire in us
Sweet love, so pure

I catch my breath, we're just one beating heart
And I brace myself, please don't tear this apart

I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can't you see that I'm bound in chains?
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to...

Suddenly the moment's here
I embrace my fears
All that I have been carrying all these years
Do I risk it all?
Come this far just to fall, fall

Oh, I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I'm bound in chains?
And finally found my way
I am bound to you

I am,
Ooh, I am
I'm bound to you

Kurt had closed his eyes in the spotlight. Reveling in the applause he was getting from his fellow gleeks, he looked to the judges' table, noting their shocked expressions with success before St. James pulled on a poker face.

"Kurt... I have never heard you sing like that. We've just had one spectacular performance after another, but, so far, I think you just took the cake. That was incredible, especially near the end. You have grown and changed so much since you sang Mr. Cellophane for your Glee audition." Mr. Schuester seemed honestly shocked, but Kurt had to wonder if the over-support beyond that that anyone else had gotten was his way of trying to make up for having neglected Kurt in the past two years.

"As sentimental as that is," oh boy, here comes Train St. James, "you are aware that song is meant to be sung by a woman, correct?" St. James asked, looking at Kurt the way most people looked at Finn during Algebra II.

"Did I not say 'originally sung by Christina Aguilera'?" Kurt asked, placing his hands on his hips and staring at St. James relentlessly.

"Why, yes, you did. Do you also realize there is no way you could sing a song like that at Nationals?" St. James asked, looking far too smug for Kurt's liking.

"Yes, I do. Do you know what I am not, in fact, a moron, and am perfectly capable of processing rational thought?" Kurt asked with a roll of his eyes.

"Kurt, Jesse, be nice," Mr. Schue admonished the arguing men.

"Of course I know that. However, I feel that singing a girl's song that referenced men was completely inappropriate. There are plenty of less gender-specific songs that you could have sung. Next." The corner of St' James' mouth turned up, and, Jacobs, he hated this man.

"The Glee Club sort of dealt with that whole boys singing songs that are meant for girls. It's kind of old news. I am perfectly capable of choosing situation-appropriate songs, though I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Seeing as no one else is uncomfortable with my song choice, and they seemed to enjoy my performance, your personal prejudice should not penalize my performance." Kurt smirked at a now-speechless St. James before flouncing (yes, flouncing. Normally he would kill anyone who accused him of flouncing, but now he did it on purpose to spite St. James) off stage.

"Hi. My name is Rachel Berry, and I'll be singing the most difficult song I've ever sung." Rachel was wringing her hands nervously, and Kurt almost rolled his eyes, taking his seat next to Quinn. Considering that St. James was now smiling like a love-struck moron, she really didn't have anything to worry about.

"Great. What song?" Mr. Schuester asked, clearly tired of auditions and ready to be ride of Rachel's dramatics.

"Barbra's closing number to my favorite movie, Funny Girl." Rachel, being Rachel, couldn't just say the title and origin like everyone else.

"Rachel, in your head, are you singing to anyone in particular?" St. James asked.

"Why, Jesse, you didn't ask me that," Kurt joked to Quinn, who clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter.

"Not really," Rachel lied. Yes, she lied. She was singing to Finn, asshole, so back off.

"Oh," was all St. James said, and Kurt hoped to all that's holy (Prada, GaGa, Madonna, and Jacobs, of course) that he picked up on the lie.

Oh, my man, I love him so.
He'll never know.
All my life is just despair,
but I don't care.
When he takes me in his arms,
the world is bright, all right.

What's the difference if I say
I'll go away,
When I know I'll come back
on my knees someday?
For whatever my man is,
I am his forevermore.

Oh, my man, I love him so.
He'll never know.
All my life is just despair,
but I don't care.
When he takes me in his arms,
the world is bright, all right.

What's the difference if I say
I'll go away,
When I know I'll come back
on my knees someday?
For whatever my man is
I am his forever more.

"She may be difficult, but boy, can she sing," Kurt said in the silence following Rachel's mind-blowing performance.

"I have to be honest," St. James began with a lie. "That was brilliant. I have nothing but the tip of my hat."

"Garbage, this is rigged!" Santana yelled, standing up and pointing towards Rachel, clearly preparing to bitch her out in Spanish.

"Hold on, Santana. Like I said before, I make the final call here," Mr. Schuester tried to appease the Latina diva.

"Well, then make it," Mercedes challenged from Santana's side.

"Out of respect to you all, I'm going to take a couple days and consider all the results. Now, I will let you all know by Friday. Great job, everyone." A unsatisfied murmur passed through the assembled students, but nobody commented.

"And let the war begin."

A/N: And auditions done. I was going to continue this chapter, but I decided to break it up again so you could have this earlier (like 2:22 AM early...). So, here you go. Plenty of sass and St. James' assholism (that's officially a word).

Songs used:
'Rumour Has It' by Adele
'When I Grow Up' by the Pussycat Dolls (Italics is Brittany/Tina, Bold is Lauren, Both is all)
'Gorgeous' by Idina Menzel
'Take It All' by Adele
'Waiting for a Girl like you' by Foreigner
'Tonight' by FM Static
'No Boundaries' by Kris Allen
'Bound to You' from Burlesque/by Christina Aguilera
'My Man' from Funny Girl/by Barbra Streisand/by Glee Cast

Note: Jesse's views are not my own, but rather what I suspect he would say about each performance I set up. No hatin' on me (feel free to hate on Jesse).

Other note: If you have a question about why I chose or changed a song, feel free to ask, I have explanations for all of them, but don't complain about me changing them without asking first. If you don't like my explanation, feel free to rip my head off!

Reviews are Love.