AN: Hey guys! Look, the last chapter wasn't a fluke. I'm still writing. Happy New Year, btw. One of my new years resolutions is to write for at least 30 minutes everyday. It may not all be on fanfiction, but I will be writing. That means more story for you.

Thanks for all the reviews last chapter. It was great to see so many of my original readers still around. And to any new readers, thanks for giving me a chance. Now on to the chapter.

"Hey, Kid," Lorelai entered her daughter's hospital room. A woman in scrubs and a white coat, who Lorelai assumed was the doctor, was there as well.

"Mom!" Rory gave a sleepy smile. "Dr. Verde was just about to update me on my condition."

"Hello," The doctor said in her Italian accent.

She held out a well-groomed hand to shake. The nails were cut short and even, and had no polish on them. The cuticles were pristine. Lorelai took the hand and noticed that the skin was soft, but the grip was firm and assured. She took comfort in the fact that these were the hands that had been inside her daughter. They were surgeon's hands through and through.

Lorelai nodded in greeting. She was calmer now that Rory was awake, but still not back in full Lorelai banter mode yet, so she simply replied "Thank you again for taking such good care of my daughter."

"Of course," Dr. Verde replied. "I am pleased to report that Lorelai is doing very well."

Lorelai shrugged, "Eh, I'm alright, but more importantly, how is Rory?" She was starting to get her groove back.

"Huh?"

Rory shook her head with a chuckle. "Ignore her, she's joking. Her name is Lorelai too. She always blames it on the Demerol, which I never believed until now but it turns out, those pain meds really can do a number on you. Anyhow, I usually go by Rory to avoid confusion."

"Ah, yes. Your fiancé mentioned you prefer to be called Rory, I forgot. I apologize."

"It's fine, really. No need to apologize. You did save my life after all. That kind of gives you a free pass to call me whatever you want."

"Well, you certainly seem to be getting your spunk back. That's always a good sign," the doctor opined. "As you know," she turned to Lorelai, "Rory was in hypovolemic shock from the blood loss when she came in." The doctor must have already mentioned that part to Rory before Lorelai got there. Dr. Verde turned back to Rory. "Your vitals have all stabilized. Your lactate levels, which are a sign of tissue perfusion, are back to normal now. The blood transfusion you received during surgery is being well tolerated and you are hemodynamically stable. If all continues to go well, you should expect to be discharged the day after tomorrow.

Lorelai let out a large breath of relief, her shoulders slumping slightly as the air left her body.

"Now as for the surgery itself, we did have to remove the afflicted fallopian tube. These days, a salpingotomy procedure to spare the tube is more common, but once we got in there with the laparoscope, it was clear there was too much damage to save the tube, and we wanted to get the bleeding under control as quickly as possible, so we converted to an open procedure. This will affect your fertility rates a bit, but you still have one good tube, and fertility rates after a salpingectomy are around 66%, so there is a still an excellent chance you will be able to conceive again when the time is right. You will be at an increased risk for future ectopic pregnancies, however, so it is imperative that you monitor your cycles and symptoms very closely so that if you do become pregnant again, we can make sure the embryo has implanted in the proper place before it becomes a problem.

"I know I just went over a lot, what questions do you have?"

Rory looked at her doctor. She knew she should have a million questions; there was so much that had happened to her. But her mind was blank—a rare occurrence for Rory who practically lived in her head. Logan's ability to get her to stop overthinking everything was one of things she loved best about him, but right now her thoughts appeared to have abandoned her right when she needed them.

"Umm, nothing right now," she shook her head unassuredly.

"What kind of follow up will she need?" Lorelai to the rescue. Dr. Verde went over the follow-up procedures and rest of Rory's recovery as well as answering a few more of Lorelai's questions before excusing herself to go check on other patients, leaving Rory with her mother.

"So here's a tip—," Lorelai suggested, as she sat in the seat next to Rory's bed. "the next time you need emergency surgery, try to have it right before dinner with your grandparents and the Huntzbergers. If people are going to open you up and cut out your insides, at least you'll get out of something even more painful."

Rory rolled her eyes. "Yes, the next time I need emergency surgery, I'll be sure to plan better."

"I have faith in your abilities. No one can plan like my kid can."

"Umm, thanks…?"

"So, you want to talk about it?" Lorelai asked more seriously.

Rory felt suddenly self-conscious, like she was lying open on that surgery table all over again, exposed for everyone to see. Except it was only Lorelai; her mother and the one person she could always count on to understand her.

"I don't know," Rory averted eye contact. "It's all just so surreal. I'm not really sure how I feel. I don't…I don't really feel anything at all." Rory chanced a quick glance at her mother before looking away again. Lorelai wouldn't understand this. How could she—how could any mother? Rory had lost a baby, she should be a wreck. Or numb at least. But this lack of feeling wasn't even numbness, it was just indifference.

Lorelai reached for Rory's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Right after you were born, I heard your first cry and I didn't feel that moment of joy that everyone tells you is normal. Mostly I just wanted you to shut up so I could get some sleep. Then the nurse put you in my arms—after confiscating the ice chips; for some reason they really didn't trust me with those—and I wished they would just take you away to the nursery. But I couldn't say that, so I took you in my arms and I held you. And at first you were just this random baby and for a few seconds I started to rethink everything. I thought I should give you up for adoption and call your grandparents and tell them they were right. Even now it's hard to believe I ever thought your grandparents were right about anything, but in that moment, I did. But then you turned your face into my chest rooting around like you knew exactly where your food was and in that moment I knew you were my daughter."

"So are you saying I was born a food whore, or just that I really liked boobs?" Rory joked, finally looking her mother in the eye.

"Well, both," Lorelai chuckled before getting serious again. "But what I'm really saying is that the mother-child bond isn't something that magically happens the second you conceive or even the second you give birth. Once it happens it's hard to imagine there was ever a time when it didn't exist, but the truth is, it takes a little time. You didn't even know you were pregnant. You weren't planning on having a baby."

"But Logan didn't either and it wasn't even his body and he's a mess…"

"Exactly—it wasn't Logan's body. He didn't go through the physical trauma you did. Also, he's spent the last 12 hours in the waiting room worried sick about you—an actual, real live person who he already loves and has a life with."

"He thinks I'm a terrible person."

"He does not."

"He does!" Rory insisted. "He could tell I didn't care about the baby and he hates me. I could see it in his eyes."

"Rory, that boy thinks you're the bee's knees. He loves you. I know I've had my reservations about him in the past, but I no longer have any doubts that he's in this for the long haul. You two are going to get through this together."

Rory nodded her head, but it was just a token gesture. She wished she could be as sure as her mother, but Lorelai hadn't seen the look in Logan's eyes as he'd walked out of her room.

Logan made his way back into the waiting room. He had called Honor and his parents to let them know what had happened. Honor had been easy—she had expressed just the right amount of horror and sympathy. She had assured Logan that she'd be down later the following day.

His parents were another beast altogether. His father was at the Hartford office and had been since 6 AM. It was a big news day; apparently the California supreme court had just overturned Proposition 8, making it the second state to legalize same sex marriage. Logan was pro marriage equality all the way, but right now the only person's fiancé he cared about was his own. Mitchum told Logan to offer Rory his condolences, but there was no way he was getting out of the office.

His mother sounded like she'd had a mimosa or two with her breakfast. "I thought she looked a little pallid last night, though it's so hard to tell. Though I guess the pale look is in these days. I mean really, even sunlight is a girl's enemy now." After a few more backhanded compliments, Shira announced she had an appointment to get her hair done, and maybe she should add on a deep conditioning treatment and a facial too. After all, this was so stressful for her.

Lorelai had agreed to call the Times, since it was best if they didn't know Rory was engaged to the competition. She had also contacted Christopher. The Gilmores were a bit tougher.

"Hey, I'm not the one who impregnated their precious, unwed granddaughter," Lorelai argued, throwing her hands up. "This one's all on you, kid." Logan had cringed, not knowing where he was going to find strength to handle that conversation. Luckily Luke had stepped in on his behalf and Lorelai had caved.

"Fine, but only because you're so pitiful right now," she'd huffed.

Finn had contacted Colin who was going to come by as soon as he could. Sue and Finn had left for the evening, but promised they would be back after work the next day. Paris had headed home to sleep.

That had left just Luke in the waiting room when Logan returned from making his calls. The older man was watching a baseball game on the waiting room TV. He had one of those cardboard cup holders on the seat next to him.

"Coffee?" he offered Logan.

"Thanks." Logan took the proffered beverage. The worry fueled adrenaline rush that had seen him through the last 12 hours was wearing off and he was in desperate need of caffeine. He took a few gulps and sat down silently next to Luke.

He wondered if Lorelai would come out of her daughter's room soon. He needed to see Rory again; to touch her, hold her hand, hear her voice, see her blue eyes looking up at him. It was almost as though he couldn't trust the memory of her waking up. He needed to be sure it was real and that she was okay.

Or was she too okay? He still didn't understand her reaction to losing the baby—or lack of reaction, as the case may be. He never wanted to see Rory hurting, and yet, he had felt strangely vexed by her lack of emotion. He had spent hours trying to figure out how to comfort her and be there for her and when she didn't need any of that, it was as though he had no idea how to react around her at all. So he had gone to find the doctor and Lorelai, and had left them to deal with it.

Besides, he knew Lorelai needed to see Rory just as much as he did, so letting her take his place for a bit was the right thing to do. If only it hadn't been for the wrong reasons. Or was it wrong? Nobody understood Rory better than Lorelai, and Rory needed someone who understood her right now. He should probably give them some more time before he went back in there are let his bad energy rub off on her. He would probably just upset her and she didn't need to be upset right now.

He was torn—torn between wanting to barge back into that room and never leave her side and wanting to continue to hide in the waiting room and let someone else deal with it.

His internal debate was interrupted by the site of Lorelai walking through the swinging doors of the ICU. He stood up to greet her, grabbing one of the coffees from Luke's cup holder and offering it to her.

"How is she?"

"Okay," Loreal said, taking the coffee. "They're moving her out of ICU right now. She's going to room 832."

"Good, let's go."

Lorelai placed her non coffee holding hand on Logan's shoulder. "Actually, Luke and I are going to go check into a hotel and get something to eat. We'll be back in a little bit."

Logan shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous, we have a guest room. You'll stay at our place. And the cafeteria here is actually pretty good. You can't leave now."

What was wrong with him? A moment ago he had almost convinced himself that it was better if he didn't go back to Rory's room. Then Lorelai came out and said she was being moved out of ICU—which meant she could have multiple visitors—and he had been ready to make a b-line straight to her. Then Lorelai said she was leaving and it was like his feet were frozen in place again. Was he really afraid to be alone with Rory? After everything they had been through, everything that had happened to get them to where they were and suddenly he needed a buffer to be in the same room as his fiancé? What was wrong with him?

"Hey, it's going to be okay."

"I know, the doctor said…"

"I'm not talking about what the doctor said. I mean the two of you. It's going to be okay."

"Why wouldn't it be?" Could she seriously tell what was going on in his head? She'd spent less than 30 seconds with him since Rory woke up. If Lorelai could see, then Rory definitely could. He couldn't let Rory see him doubting anything about their relationship—not that he was doubting their relationship. He loved Rory more than anything. That was one thing he was sure of. But that didn't mean he had the slightest clue how to deal with any of this right now.

Lorelai wrapped her fingers around his arm and led him a few steps away for a little privacy. "She needs you, Logan," she said softly.

"She seems to be doing alight." It came out more bitterly than he wanted. He couldn't believe he'd just said that.

Lorelai sighed. "She just needs a little time. She hasn't processed what's happened yet. She'll get there and when she does, you're the one she's going to need. Believe me, Kid, I wish it could be me. I wish I was still the one she runs to with all her problems. But I can't get her through this. It has to be you."

Logan swallowed uncomfortably. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know you're not. I'm just not so sure she does."

"What?" How could she think that? How could she think he wouldn't be there for her every step of the way? Maybe because you walked out of her hospital room the second things got hard, a tiny voice in his head reminded him.

"She thinks you hate her."

"I could never…"

"I know. This isn't about you."

"Then what?"

"She feels like she failed you." Logan stared at Lorelai, mouth agape. He didn't understand. It didn't make any sense. "You know Rory, she doesn't do failure. She succeeds at everything she does, even things she doesn't want to do. On the rare occasions that she does fail, she does crazy things like stealing yachts and dropping out of school." Lorelai glared pointedly at Logan for a moment and Logan visibly shrunk back. Lorelai continued on. "She wasn't planning on the pregnancy but having a miscarriage still feels like a failure to her. And failing herself is bad enough, but she can see how upset you are and failing you might be more than she can bear."

"That's ridiculous. This isn't her fault."

"Obviously. But it doesn't change how she feels. She's holding it all together right now, Logan. You need to show her she has a safe place to fall apart." And with that, Lorelai walked away, leaving Logan by himself.